Holiday house tour – a giant fancy Christmas.
Index of all holiday decorating posts.
Last year was my first real blog Christmas. And I went AT IT.
By mid-December, I was lying on the floor, buried under an avalanche of my own making… Crushed by garland and glitter and wired, battery powered fairy lights and DIY giant snowflakes and a truck-load of disco balls and a trash-picked sled and yards-and-yards-and-YARDS-of-fabric-I-had-mistakenly-thought-that-Paul-could-help-me-sew-into-bows.
There is no end to my creativity when the other option is doing actual work.
In the name of winning Christmas, I destroyed every single square inch of living space with chaos and mess and storage boxes and new ideas for the most Christmasy Christmas ever… Focusing on details that no one else would see or care about, but I was unable to detach from.
If something will take me 57 times longer, but be 1% nicer, I am all for it.
Besides, why do something quickly that you can actually finish, if you have the option of getting involved in a project that will spiral out of control?
Bonus points if you make fourteen trips to the craft store, buy a whole bunch of crap, and then not even use any of it.
Paul began referring to me as Kim Jong-Il, and made my mother an armband to signify her as the “People’s worker.”
And after weeks of living in a glitter tornado, even the elves were tired. They whispered— maybe you should stop now? Maybe you’ve done enough? Maybe you don’t need to order another POUND of glitter.
I stopped sewing 48 feet of fabric long enough to ask myself — wait, why am I doing this?
And self said— what else are you going to write about? It is unlikely to be the Peloponnesian war.
Keep sewing.
The Glitter Troll marched around shouting orders and intimidating the elves– quizzing them: True or false, glitter makes everything better?
Bzzzzt. Time is up. TRUE.
She aggressively insisted that I should make a giant DIY snowflake template… trace it multiple times… cut out a ridiculous number… force Paul into cardboard-cutting servitude… cover them with glitter…figure out how to upload a template in case anyone else on the internet is compelled to do this sort of time-wasting activity.
Then she said– while you’re at it, why don’t you make another trip to the craft store?
Anyway. All of this is to say that I never did a full holiday house tour last year— where I put all of the photos in one place.
I did individual posts about the different projects. But in the last moments of the marathon holiday, I ran out of care…
I could see the finish line, but finishing anything just goes against my principles.
My brothers were home, and I had no energy for anything other than regressing, hanging out at my parents, and watching Elf.
A better blogger would have had this up and done already and on to THIS years decorations… but in all things, I am slow.
And late.
And rattling in at the last moment disrupting everyone and demanding to be given consideration despite having missed the deadline.
December 3, 2014 @ 5:40 pm
I am building up to decorating, I’ve set up my computer screens with Christmas images and I’ve purchased some solar lights! Yes one of the many quirks to having an Australian (southern hemisphere) Christmas, lots of sun to run your outdoor Christmas lights! Have to wait till the junior Christmas elf (15 year old son who is sooo much taller than me) finishes school so he can help hang all the decorations. He doesn’t need a ladder for the tall stuff! Plus he has ooodles of enthusiasm which my other half loses very quickly after bring home the tree.
We have a borrowed cat this year (neighbour’s cat who is very sociable) don’t know his proper name so we call him Eric-the-Cat. I will discover whether he is an Elvis type or otherwise once the decorating begins! He does love a box and he does love to play – could go either way.
Hope you all have a wonderful Christmas – Disco balls abound!
December 3, 2014 @ 5:43 pm
Victoria, you’re a hoot! Merry Christmas to you and yours.
December 3, 2014 @ 5:46 pm
Fabulous, as usual. Happy Holidays!
December 3, 2014 @ 7:17 pm
Lovely! I wondered if Elvis enjoys Christmas tree water as much as my 2 kitties do. I call it gin for kitties. Because they need a good martini once in awhile, too!
December 3, 2014 @ 7:20 pm
It’s fabulous. Love it.
December 3, 2014 @ 9:46 pm
Man, you can turn a word. I am howling, loudly, at “Paul began referring to me as Kim Jong-Il, and made my mother an armband to signify her as the “People’s worker.”I suspect you don’t need decorations, snowflakes and glitter. You could make Corn Flakes funny. You are really gifted.
Margaret
December 4, 2014 @ 2:28 pm
Word.
December 3, 2014 @ 11:03 pm
Better a year later than never! We did get a good idea of the fabulousness last year. I think even if I get Alzheimer’s some day, I will still remember the photos of the disco balls on your porch. Loved that, THAT MUCH!
December 4, 2014 @ 12:17 am
I love you and everything you do. I also can’t wait to see a new post from you – it always makes my day. I wish we had a Christmas Tree Store. I would be loading up the mini van with disco balls. Merry Christmas!
December 4, 2014 @ 3:45 pm
Love, Love, LOVE the porch with the disco balls. I was a drag queen in another life and adore sparkly things! So pretty!
December 4, 2014 @ 10:02 pm
Victoria…I spent all day yesterday making new pillow covers for my sofa and chair pillows in vintage tablecloth fabric. I have a table filled with pine cone elves that I am making(my husband walks by daily and looks for who arrived overnight!). On a much smaller scale than you but there none the less… My two cats would dangle on the bows and tear the garland down. The dog would pee on anything floor level… I love the disco balls on the porch…how does it look at night with lights on the porch? Does your town have Christmas decoration awards every year? You would win hands down! Love your posts…please keep them coming.
December 6, 2014 @ 3:41 pm
Victoria – I love to read your posts. You are super funny and very talented with all your fancy, glittery things!
December 7, 2014 @ 10:52 pm
OMG! Your home is gorgeous!! When can I move in?!? LOL! I am new to your blog and so glad to have found you. Great posts for sure and I really, truly enjoy reading every word. Trust me, coming from me, that is a huge compliment. 99.9% of blog posts I simply skim over because they are the equivalent of a giant sleeping pill. But not yours, you have a great writing style and I look forward to reading more. Thanks for the glitter tips.
December 8, 2014 @ 10:19 am
Ahhhhhhh!!! I am swooning over E V E R Y T H I N G ! and I get the Bonus Points!!! many, many bonus points!
December 8, 2014 @ 7:37 pm
Love all the giant fanciness! You are an inspiration. And buzzfeed thinks so too – did you see this? http://www.buzzfeed.com/peggy/life-saving-holiday-hacks-that-are-borderline-genius?crlt.pid=camp.wWBHNPk5c0Z3
December 9, 2014 @ 12:03 am
Well,, I have one better for you,, I realized one day,, after January 2, that Starbucks throws away all the decorations in their stores that were so painstakingly and appropriately placed. I had wanted to make trees for a few people who could not afford to have a wowzers tree or decorations.. I drove around to all the Starbucks in the area, and they lovinging said,, sure,, we only throw them away or give them to employees. Well,, I had way more decorations than people to give them too,, so now each year,, I just make sure that I get the throwaways,, and give trees to who ever needs them,, and I use what ever is left,, I can honestly tell you… it is so much better this way,, as I have one whole years to think about how to use them next year,, and Christmas is much more fun recycled by Starbucks!!
December 9, 2014 @ 8:46 pm
Just saw this in the cb2.com catalog and had to share! gnome for the holidays. Reflecting the fun of the season, this disco-style folkloric friend was designed exclusively for CB2 by husband-and-wife design duo Robert and Cortney Novogratz. The Novogratz took a shine to the holidays by combining “the fun and glamour of a disco ball with the friendly charm of a lawn gnome to create the ultimate party companion.” Standing nine inches tall, this glitzy statue glimmers from hat to toe in mirrored tiles. Each square is carefully applied by hand in a time-intensive process that makes every gnome unique. Create a dynamic duo with the large disco gnome. http://www.cb2.com/disco-9-gnome/s296898
December 10, 2014 @ 12:18 pm
a true kindred spirit…. Have a pile of unused craft supplies and ideas shoved in my sewing room … Now after viewing your beautifully dressed home…I need to make another trip to hobby lobby!
December 11, 2014 @ 2:13 pm
Hi Victoria,
I LOVE your blog. Your writing is great, and as I also have an old house that is being renovated at glacial speed, I think you probably feel my pain.
I was this Holiday House Tour post when this photo caught my eye:
http://victoriabarnes.wpengine.netdna-cdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/A-simple-bow-turns-your-sofa-pillows-into-Christmas-decorations-I-LOVE-the-two-tone-bow.jpg
What is going on with that dark trim over the window? Is that original or did you find that? It looks like an amazing portal to the outside with that trim. I need to know more. Please write something on your blog about this with more details!!
December 19, 2014 @ 9:19 am
Jessie, I don’t know if you’ll see this, since it’s a week later, but just in case…
Victoria talks about that wonderful enormous piece of furniture in this post: http://victoriaelizabethbarnes.com/share-your-favorite-find/#more-5470
which is definitely worth reading!! I think I need to reread it now, of course!
December 20, 2014 @ 11:54 am
Somehow I missed your comment until someone else replied to it… sorry! That molding is actually part of the Victorian wardrobe we salvaged (you might have already seen the post http://wp.me/p36IiD-1qe ) it’s probably my personal favorite score… The Kingdom Mirror was way more popular, but the wardrobe is AMAZING!
December 11, 2014 @ 3:17 pm
What beauty! Wow is what keeps going around in my head! I will be featuring you on my Christmas Decorating round-up. Is that real garland? If not I need to know where you got it from. I have been searching high and low for real looking garland!
December 5, 2015 @ 11:17 am
You need a pair or two of tall standing white glitter reindeer next to the mirrors!