Holiday house tour – a giant fancy Christmas.
Index of all holiday decorating posts.
Last year was my first real blog Christmas. And I went AT IT.
By mid-December, I was lying on the floor, buried under an avalanche of my own making… Crushed by garland and glitter and wired, battery powered fairy lights and DIY giant snowflakes and a truck-load of disco balls and a trash-picked sled and yards-and-yards-and-YARDS-of-fabric-I-had-mistakenly-thought-that-Paul-could-help-me-sew-into-bows.
There is no end to my creativity when the other option is doing actual work.
In the name of winning Christmas, I destroyed every single square inch of living space with chaos and mess and storage boxes and new ideas for the most Christmasy Christmas ever… Focusing on details that no one else would see or care about, but I was unable to detach from.
If something will take me 57 times longer, but be 1% nicer, I am all for it.
Besides, why do something quickly that you can actually finish, if you have the option of getting involved in a project that will spiral out of control?
Bonus points if you make fourteen trips to the craft store, buy a whole bunch of crap, and then not even use any of it.
Paul began referring to me as Kim Jong-Il, and made my mother an armband to signify her as the “People’s worker.”
And after weeks of living in a glitter tornado, even the elves were tired. They whispered— maybe you should stop now? Maybe you’ve done enough? Maybe you don’t need to order another POUND of glitter.
I stopped sewing 48 feet of fabric long enough to ask myself — wait, why am I doing this?
And self said— what else are you going to write about? It is unlikely to be the Peloponnesian war.
Keep sewing.
The Glitter Troll marched around shouting orders and intimidating the elves– quizzing them: True or false, glitter makes everything better?
Bzzzzt. Time is up. TRUE.
She aggressively insisted that I should make a giant DIY snowflake template… trace it multiple times… cut out a ridiculous number… force Paul into cardboard-cutting servitude… cover them with glitter…figure out how to upload a template in case anyone else on the internet is compelled to do this sort of time-wasting activity.
Then she said– while you’re at it, why don’t you make another trip to the craft store?
Anyway. All of this is to say that I never did a full holiday house tour last year— where I put all of the photos in one place.
I did individual posts about the different projects. But in the last moments of the marathon holiday, I ran out of care…
I could see the finish line, but finishing anything just goes against my principles.
My brothers were home, and I had no energy for anything other than regressing, hanging out at my parents, and watching Elf.
A better blogger would have had this up and done already and on to THIS years decorations… but in all things, I am slow.
And late.
And rattling in at the last moment disrupting everyone and demanding to be given consideration despite having missed the deadline.
December 3, 2014 @ 10:15 am
OH NO! I do not have a giant cloche filled with little disco balls.
But? I have a bird cage filled with little disco balls.
Still, I am, of course, coveting your cloche.
December 3, 2014 @ 11:00 am
I am a word geek and I did not know those things were called cloches, so I am entirely impressed! Plus, of course, I now want a cloche *and* a bird cage filled with little disco balls.
December 4, 2014 @ 6:45 am
I lOVE the red ribbon wrapped pillows on the fantastically white couch. I have a three year old that would rip those ribbons off so fast, make them into her own personal disney gown and proceed to sneak chocolate from the kitchen and smear it all over the beautifully crisp white, bright white, white white pillows. Come to think of it, she would also make a fort out of all the garland and set fire to the bookcase… I have to live vicariously through you and your blog. Thank you for making it look wonderful!
December 3, 2014 @ 10:17 am
It looks beautiful. Especially liked the disco balls on the front porch – FABULOUS!
December 3, 2014 @ 10:59 am
Yes, I can never get enough of the disco ball porch. It may be the most mesmerizing holiday decorating EVER…although, there is that smoke-breathing, enormous Godzilla tree: http://imgur.com/2rqMzoT
December 3, 2014 @ 2:40 pm
OMG a Godzilla tree–you just let me make my brother’s day!! Best tree ever!
December 3, 2014 @ 10:19 am
P.S. I’m in awe. I have been known to stick discarded Christmas Tree trimmings found on the curb into empty wine bottles and call them “The Christmas Bush”. We did make home made ornament for it with cardboard, foil & colors. And we strung some popcorn.
December 3, 2014 @ 10:20 am
Love the look and your enthusiasm. I look forward to your posts. Merry Christmas!
December 3, 2014 @ 10:22 am
If I had done all that work last year, it would still be up for this year … just swap out snowflakes for glitter valentine hearts and glittered pumpkins come fall. Of course that would presume you’d used artifical greenery, not the real needle shedding amazing stuff.
I did go crazy nuts (one project involved gilding nuts and hot gluing to a wreath form … golden take on Della Robia) making crafty golden (instead of glitter) stuff and artfully draping all over the house.
But I got lazy … or smart … or both. Now I don’t even decorate my own Christmas tree (pre-lit of course). I just put it up and set out a bunch of non breakable ornaments and fuel up my grandkids with lots of hot chocolate with mini marshmallows and let them have at it. The eight year old is an old pro at it but the two (almost three) year old is coming along nicely. Everything is hung at knee level. And I’m okay with that.
You could replace grandkids (I’m assuming Elvis is more of an “undecorator” than a decorator) with neighbor kids. I’m sure their parents would be more than happy to loan some out for a little free babysitting…
December 4, 2014 @ 8:07 pm
I so wish you lived next door.
December 5, 2015 @ 11:24 am
Christmas 2015, I’m still pushing the easy button on Christmas decorating. The three year grandkid (nearly four) has upped her game on tree trimming with demands to be lifted up to just the right spot for her chosen ornament. I think she’s a Victoria Elizabeth Barnes in the making. If she starts hitting the glitter, I’m cutting off the hot chocolate.
December 3, 2014 @ 10:23 am
Crap, Victoria – another Christmas and I have no decorations – or kitchen, or master bathroom. And I don’t have that crafty talent to make giant snowflakes. So I’ll just look at this post when I feel all Christmasy… Merry Christmas
December 3, 2014 @ 10:23 am
So beautiful!
December 3, 2014 @ 10:27 am
Victoria, I was just thinking about your bow tutorial. It helped me make a bow for the top of our tree last year!
December 3, 2014 @ 10:36 am
I love the greenery! How to you keep the greens on the mantel from scorching? Mine got all yellow last year as soon as I turned the fireplace on!
December 3, 2014 @ 10:54 am
It’s actually a bookcase, so I’ve cheated by avoiding flames.
December 3, 2014 @ 10:40 am
Love your posts! They are very clever and entertaining. Where can I get disco balls to put on my front porch? Do not want to spend a lot of money. Any guidance would be appreciated. Love your adventures with Paul! Merry Vhristmas to you and your family!
December 3, 2014 @ 10:53 am
I got mine at The Christmas Tree Shop… (here is a post where I load up the van with an entire cartload of them: http://wp.me/p36IiD-10b )
I was there yesterday and they have them AGAIN. (it was hard not to clean them out)
December 3, 2014 @ 10:43 am
WOW! I remember being more than impressed with your creative effort on behalf of We your People last year……but seeing the whole panoply in one swell foop is awe inspiring. Good Grief girl-you sure know how to make the Pretty! However You tricky Minkey -you have bedazzled us with the former Magnificence. I would beg a peek at this years efforts but I fear you might actually take me seriously and literally injure your self with some crazed mad dash to 6 different Craft Stores –in other states………….with Clydesdales and a Christmas Sleigh! So I accept yesteryears Christmas loveliness and wish you, Paul and Dear Miss Elvis a very Joyous Christmas and A Happy New Year.
December 3, 2014 @ 10:46 am
You inspire me to do …….nothing. I am exhausted and overwhelmed by this post. But I do love the bows
December 3, 2014 @ 10:56 am
You obviously must not have a cat….or those dangling garlands, etc., would be TOAST. They sure are pretty, through. Since I live with a couple cats (and a Labrador) in addition to humans, I can never have dangling decorations. Sigh. I will have to just live out my festive holiday decorating desires vicariously via your posts. Thanks for sharing!
December 3, 2014 @ 11:01 am
You must not know about Elvis. But I wondered, as well, how she manages to stay out of the garland, because my two would be all up in that and chewing it to pieces.
December 3, 2014 @ 11:07 am
I have zero explanation why Elvis is not appropriately cat-like and destroying all things Christmas… she loves the boxes, but other than that, none of it interests her.
December 3, 2014 @ 11:11 am
Lucky you!
December 3, 2014 @ 11:14 am
Look for the zipper. That is something else in an Elvis cat costume.
December 3, 2014 @ 3:34 pm
^ I loled.
December 3, 2014 @ 4:50 pm
Snort! In Elvis’s defense (of actually BEING a cat, not something else in a cat suit) my cat Shredder leaves the decorations alone too. Since she has a vertical leap of about four inches, she has no choice… Now if you leave any paperbags on the floor …
December 4, 2014 @ 6:48 pm
“my cat Shredder”
LMBO!!! I love that the cat does not shred the decorations with an excellent name like that!!!
December 3, 2014 @ 11:02 am
Wickedly, funny! The war zone is so accurate. You have a talent for decorating, and writing…you bring Christmas cheer to all of us that aren’t so fancy. Bravo for sharing all your tips and not hiding the fact, that it all hard work. Definitely over the top and beautiful! Merry Christmas!
December 3, 2014 @ 11:03 am
My favorite thing you’ve done is the front porch, it makes it look like its snowing. Maybe that’s a bad thing for you folks that live where it actually snows, but for SoCal the look of magical snow would be a bonus. I did the whole live garland once…problem for my Type A personality is that I want Christmas decorations finished by the first Saturday in December. Read: garland be dead by Christmas!
Karen
December 3, 2014 @ 11:07 am
Christmas at your house would be such fun with or without fancy décor. Is it alright if I ask Santa to bring me Paul for Christmas? I have so much that needs to be done around here. And…I love to dance!!! 🙂
December 3, 2014 @ 11:14 am
Silver balls, silver balls,
It’s Christmas time ala Vicky……
Well done!
December 3, 2014 @ 11:14 am
Beautiful Christmas home!
Vicki and Paul
P.s. One of my great grandmothers was “Victoria”.
December 3, 2014 @ 11:14 am
Beautiful post, beautiful decorations and beautiful home!!!! I don’t see how you could top that! If it were me, I would just use everything all over again this year…. those snowflakes and disco balls should last you for years and years….:) Your posts never fail to make my day, Happy Holidays!
December 3, 2014 @ 11:19 am
V,
Thanks for decorating my home.
When company arrives your holiday pages are up on the big TVs. A little holiday music, very festive. Easy-Peasy.