Christmas decorating war zone.
Christmas mess reached critical mass sometime around Sunday afternoon.
The kind of decorating war zone where you cannot even walk around because every square inch of floor is covered with random crap.
At some point, the ironing board, the sewing machine, the vacuum, a stepstool, the sled, a massive box of garland, and 20 Mason jars were strewn about the dining room.
And that does not even count the boxes of actual Christmas decorations.
Instead of labeling the boxes Christmas 1, Christmas 2… I should name them mess, irritation, waste of time, why did I buy this, and where the hell are the wire cutters.
Especially since I have ALL new ideas. Which will require ALL new supplies. So I will not even need to open those boxes. I could just throw them in the trash.
Not that I will, because that would require detaching from some of this junk.
It is like a train derailment of ideas shouting at me, all the time:
- You should make a DIY giant snowflake template… trace it multiple times… cut out a ridiculous number… cover them with glitter…figure out how to upload a template in case anyone else on the Internet is compelled to do this sort of time-wasting activity.
- Run to the craft store like a maniac. Buy a bunch of total crap you don’t even need.
- Scrub out the Mason jars. What will you do with them? WHO KNOWS?
- Make a Candy Cane centerpiece! You can fill it with cloved oranges! Ugh, no. That looks stupid. Abandon that. NEXT!
- YOU SHOULD DO A VIDEO OF YOUR HOW TO MAKE A BOW TUTORIAL. YOU SHOULD START RIGHT NOW.
It is probably unnecessary for me to verbalize this, but – I am a wholly impulsive person. Once I think of something, I must do it. No matter that I will not finish. No matter that I do not even WANT to start.
Also, another rule is that no matter how tired I am, or how obvious it has become that this is all a high dive into a shallow pit of insanity, I cannot quit. Or scale back. Or compromise. Or just recycle last year’s Christmas posts…
Front porch decorated for Christmas. How to make a bow.
Anyway… Surprise plot twist!
This was supposed to be a post about you.
I hope you have a wonderful and relaxing holiday. (If such a thing exists.)
If you’re traveling, be safe. If you’re hosting, I hope the one person who most sets your teeth on edge can’t make it.
For me this year, the thing I am most thankful for is you.
(And Elvis, but she is always at the top of any list and does not diminish your standing.)
YOU ALL are the very best thing ever.
HAPPY THANKSGIVING!
see all my holiday decorations!
November 26, 2013 @ 11:00 am
My husband refers to my cleaning/cooking/organizing/painting method as “Roomba-ing.” Because I get started on one thing, notice something shiny, and then attend to the shiny before then getting distracted by something else which I will work on for a while before once again distracting myself, and eventually ALMOST finish everything, but never fully finish anything.
November 26, 2013 @ 7:08 pm
Laurel, this is why we have not eaten at our dining table in a month. And I really don’t see it happening until December. Maybe. But yes, one must attend to the shiny, and oh look, no one has fed the fish yet, and geez, look at all the pony beads the cat has been stashing under the tank, and oh my gosh I think that dust bunny just MOVED! Let’s go to Starbuck’s, Youngest Child (who is in her late teens and is home-schooled, so I’m not a bad mom really), and hope the cat kills whatever is under the couch, and oh, there’s a craft store right next to the coffee shop, what a coincidence! I was thinking Victoria’s dining room looked a little like my TV room, where Eldest has set up two different gaming systems and Older Daughter still hasn’t put away the pattern or remnants from making her boyfriend’s Halloween costume…. And let’s not get started on the dog’s rawhide addiction. She doesn’t chew them, she just leaves them around and dares the cat to touch them.
November 27, 2013 @ 10:39 am
“And let’s not get started on the dog’s rawhide addiction. She doesn’t chew them, she just leaves them around and dares the cat to touch them.”
That may be the greatest thing I read this morning LOL
December 10, 2014 @ 10:54 am
Whew, I am just so happy to know I am not the only one, lol!
November 26, 2013 @ 11:01 am
ZOMG. The disco balls! My son is autistic and that shiz is right up his alley. Now, to find a gazillion disco balls…
November 26, 2013 @ 11:05 am
Happy Thanksgiving!! I am Thankful for finding your blog. I always find myself smiling when your post is in my inbox! (has the glitter arrived?) I can’t believe you are already on to the Christmas decorations….I haven’t even pulled out my ceramic Pilgrims made by my mother in the ’70s to put on the table.
November 26, 2013 @ 11:06 am
Soak the mason jars in oxi-clean unscented to clean them. Any crud should wash right out. Then try out some star-san to sterilize them. http://www.amazon.com/Star-San-32-oz/dp/B0064O7YFA super easy
November 26, 2013 @ 12:57 pm
Why on earth would one sterilize a Mason jar??? If they want to reproduce, let them!
November 26, 2013 @ 3:33 pm
LOL! Thank you TG, I needed that laugh!!
November 26, 2013 @ 11:07 am
This sounds exactly like me! One of the reasons I get so overwhelmed at the holidays! I just want to get all my stuff out , put 3/4 of it back and decorate simple this year. 🙂
Blessings~
November 26, 2013 @ 11:10 am
I hope you plan to share the end result! I still love the reflection of the disco balls on the ceiling and walls image the best. I was this close to running out and buying some disco ball ornaments last year, thankfully I didn’t because while you have “Christmas Box #1 and #2” I have 20 Christmas boxes of various “trends” in our garage. Ugh!
It’s a mutual admiration society, my blog friend. BTW, at my dinner party the other night, 2 of the 3 women friends in attendance commented that they liked my blog, followed by, “but Victoria’s blog, OMG! She’s hilarious, I never miss her posts”.
Have a warm and delicious Thanksgiving.
xo,
Karen
November 26, 2013 @ 11:12 am
Thanksgiving blessings to you, Paul, and of course, Elvis! I’m loving your blog and somehow, I have a feeling that by Christmas time, all your “junk” will come together to make a beautiful Christmas house!
November 26, 2013 @ 11:15 am
Again, you can see right inside of my mind. I don’t know if I should be excited and scared (for you.) Love the blog and foist it on everyone I know.
And I have 118 jars of glitter. ONE HUNDRED AND EIGHTEEN. See? Feel better?
November 26, 2013 @ 4:04 pm
Oh, I love, love, love it!! It’s makes me gleeful to find so many other supply junkies here. And what does it say about someone who counts all those glitter bottles? I can’t stop chuckling. Thanks and have a great Thanksgiving. 🙂
November 26, 2013 @ 11:18 am
Check out Make-A-Flake website for creating beautiful snowflakes on your computer. Careful though, you can really get carried away and spend way more time than you should here… http://snowflakes.barkleyus.com/
November 26, 2013 @ 11:19 am
I’m oh, so thankful I stepped through the Kingdom Mirror and found your site! I used to scour the earth for things to bring home, but alas, I have filled it up with no room to spare, so now, I can live vicariously through you and wait on pins and needles for your next post! Have a wonderful Thanksgiving and please post pics of the finished result of your Christmas decorating…I’m sure to be inspired!
November 26, 2013 @ 11:19 am
I too am thankful for your blog, your story retelling and all your creative endeavors! Happy Thanksgiving from Fort Stewart, GA!
November 26, 2013 @ 11:23 am
Too funny! I soooo ‘get’ you! And I think we are the norm! Ha! Ho! Ho!
November 26, 2013 @ 11:23 am
I love reading your blog because it makes me laugh out loud and dance around the room. Of course I have to read it to my husband who says, “OMG, there is a younger you out there,” well he really doesn’t say, “OMG”, but I can’t write what he really says. So Victoria, take some motherly advice and sit down and write a book. You sense of humor rivals Susan Elizabeth Phillips, who is one of my favorite authors. Just think about it….please! I have read all of her books and I need another author who could make me laugh and dance around the room!
November 26, 2013 @ 11:37 am
I would definately read your book and probably order a bunch for Christmas presents……
December 6, 2013 @ 10:51 am
I would read your book too…please write one! Your blog is an utter delight to receive in my inbox and makes me feel infinitely better about my enormous stash of boxes of Christmas ‘things’ that are taking up the best part of our 1 bedroom flat in London. There is no room for anything else. I can’t believe I’ve only just come across your blog and absolutely loved your bow tutorial yesterday. You are wonderful. Merry Christmas xx
November 26, 2013 @ 11:26 am
This sounds like every Saturday of my entire life. It’s a good thing that I work Monday through Friday, other than I would drive myself completely crazy. I mean, crazier than I already am.
November 26, 2013 @ 11:35 am
A: You must realize you are a Genius come to save us all from the tedium of the ordinary .
B: In between mad inventive epiphany’s turn your laser like concentration to solving the planets major problems-For instance a giant disco ball hovering over the planet might solve the whole CO2 thingy. Thanks for being the most entertaining person I have encountered in the last 7 decades.
November 26, 2013 @ 11:41 am
Happy Thanksgiving to a fellow SQUIRREL!! I can so relate to your decorating angst. I’ve even done a Pinterest board to collect all my ideas, and am making a photo sheet of what I’m doing this year. To keep on track.
Wait, don’t go to Pinterest! You’ll never get your turkey done.
Val
November 26, 2013 @ 11:45 am
In my entire life I have never given disco balls a second glance. Now I crave and must have them. Thanks. Just what I needed another piece of useless stuff cluttering up my house (I assure that is my husband’s opinion, not mine).
November 26, 2013 @ 11:45 am
Your blogs make me bark-laugh out loud. Please write more, more, more! I can’t wait to see everything
November 26, 2013 @ 11:48 am
That’s always the way it is at the beginning like this because it’s all POSSIBILITY and that is excting. And a little overwhelming.
I’m not only distracted from one shiny thing to another, I can’t complete a single task because everything seems to be dependent on another task. So I’ll go to put away some clean towels and realize I really need to put the shelves back in my linen closet (that I took out for an organization project that has been forgotten) but then I can’t find the shelf brackets. I have to clean off the table of all the vacuum bags and parts to see if the shelf brackets are on there which means putting the vacuum bags and parts in a box and on a shelf but then I have to go find a magic marker to write on the box and and…
I might literally be walking around in circles.
November 26, 2013 @ 12:23 pm
Love the flowing greenery on the mantel. Is it real or artificial? If artificial, where to purchase?