Christmas mess reached critical mass sometime around Sunday afternoon.
The kind of decorating war zone where you cannot even walk around because every square inch of floor is covered with random crap.
At some point, the ironing board, the sewing machine, the vacuum, a stepstool, the sled, a massive box of garland, and 20 Mason jars were strewn about the dining room.
And that does not even count the boxes of actual Christmas decorations.
Instead of labeling the boxes Christmas 1, Christmas 2… I should name them mess, irritation, waste of time, why did I buy this, and where the hell are the wire cutters.
Especially since I have ALL new ideas. Which will require ALL new supplies. So I will not even need to open those boxes. I could just throw them in the trash.
Not that I will, because that would require detaching from some of this junk.
It is like a train derailment of ideas shouting at me, all the time:
- You should make a DIY giant snowflake template… trace it multiple times… cut out a ridiculous number… cover them with glitter…figure out how to upload a template in case anyone else on the Internet is compelled to do this sort of time-wasting activity.
- Run to the craft store like a maniac. Buy a bunch of total crap you don’t even need.
- Scrub out the Mason jars. What will you do with them? WHO KNOWS?
- Make a Candy Cane centerpiece! You can fill it with cloved oranges! Ugh, no. That looks stupid. Abandon that. NEXT!
- YOU SHOULD DO A VIDEO OF YOUR HOW TO MAKE A BOW TUTORIAL. YOU SHOULD START RIGHT NOW.
It is probably unnecessary for me to verbalize this, but – I am a wholly impulsive person. Once I think of something, I must do it. No matter that I will not finish. No matter that I do not even WANT to start.
Also, another rule is that no matter how tired I am, or how obvious it has become that this is all a high dive into a shallow pit of insanity, I cannot quit. Or scale back. Or compromise. Or just recycle last year’s Christmas posts…
Anyway… Surprise plot twist!
This was supposed to be a post about you.
I hope you have a wonderful and relaxing holiday. (If such a thing exists.)
If you’re traveling, be safe. If you’re hosting, I hope the one person who most sets your teeth on edge can’t make it.
For me this year, the thing I am most thankful for is you.
(And Elvis, but she is always at the top of any list and does not diminish your standing.)
YOU ALL are the very best thing ever.
I will love you EVEN MORE… if you share me with your friends.