Holiday MashUp: where I lure you in with an abundance of sparkly Christmas stuff, but then discuss the prevalence of luxury-home blogs.
Hey there! If you’re here for the sparkly stuff? Welcome!
This blog is TOTALLY ALL ABOUT SPARKLY STUFF.
If you’re here for my mind-bogglingly amazing writing skills? Also, welcome.
I don’t break them out as often as the disco balls, but when I do, it’s fantastic.
When we moved here, all of a sudden I was tasked with juggling the design of renovating an entire house.
Which, objectively? Does not seem that hard… It already had walls and floors and rooms. So what is there to really design?
Obviously, this is stupid and speaks to my absolute dearth of knowledge about anything house-related.
After our move, and my self-appointment as captain of incessant decision-making… It didn’t take long for me to morph into someone who spent ALL their free time looking at house-stuff on the internet. Which? In case you didn’t know? There is a lot of it.
Somewhere in that immersion, I discovered blogs.
A good blog is like finding the exact friend you need right at that moment… Someone who WANTS to hear all about grout width.
If blogs provided free drinks, no one would ever leave.
And eventually, I had the same thought nine-million other people have had:
I should write a blog!
You have this realization in a gauzy, epiphany-like state. Where you marvel at how OBVIOUS it is. But fail to comprehend just how equally obvious it was to the other nine-million people who have already beaten you to the punch.
Despite the fact that my favorite blogs were like reading something that could have come out of my own head? I immediately abandoned the idea of writing about anything real.
I wanted one of those luxe lifestyle blogs.
I wanted a header that depicted my lavishly-decorated Christmas mantel.
I wanted to showcase my nineteen live Christmas trees… strung with antique mercury glass ornaments… and talk about making bows from ribbon, woven from silk thread, dating from the Ming dynasty.
I wanted to bemoan the difficulty of choosing a Molteni range over a La Cornue.
Despite the fact that I do not think chevron is important, or believe that anything equestrian-related belongs in your home.
Despite the fact that I cannot imagine the posturing involved in reupholstering your sofa with antique linen recovered from the basement of an Irish convent.
Despite the fact that I do not wear Tory Burch, or kitten heels, or Capri pants, or wax my eyebrows, or drive a Mercedes, or vacation in Palm Beach?
Despite all of that…
That’s exactly what I planned for my blog—to join the ranks of the perfectly-coiffed.
Something about that lush, hyper-decorated corner of the internet sets off my competition-alarm like nothing else.
I will be Slim Paley meets Velvet and Linen. I will do it all with ease and panache. I do not need your hairstylist or your private plane or your English country house.
I can collect more inspiration pictures, feature more marble countertops, show you more overstuffed, overpriced, overdone interiors. Show you more dried flowers, antique light fixtures, rustic carriage houses, reclaimed coffee tables …
I will do ALL of that.
TONIGHT.
I will take over the internet in no time at all.
I will be Diana Vreeland meets Architectural Digest meets Dorothy Parker.
I will stop dressing like a homeless person. I will throw away my old sweatpants and ratty t-shirts and wear Kate Spade at all times, even at eight o’clock on a Saturday morning.
Except—oh my God. Do you have any idea how many other people have already thought of that? Why are there SO MANY other blogs? Don’t you people have anything better to do?
No matter. Some perverse personality trait of mine is where I get an idea. And don’t bother to stop and think whether it’s good/reasonable/feasible.
I take to my projects with single-minded craziness. It doesn’t matter what it is. If you need something done with precision and perfection and tiny useless details. And you don’t mind waiting twelve times longer than I said it would take me? And maybe in the end I bail on you because it’s just too much for me? I am your person.
For about three months, I toiled under the delusion that soon, everyone on the internet was going to find me. Quickly. And that I’d better be prepared for the incoming hordes.
Because that’s how it works—all you need is an idea, and a blog. And then Home Depot comes to your house and gives you a giant banner advertisement and a crown… and boots Young House Love off their advertising pedestal and replaces them with you—an older, not-nearly-as-cute couple. Who is way more irritable and on the verge of project-induced divorce.
This was pretty exciting to me… I have been waiting to be famous since I was three.
I mean, I’ve totally neglected to learn to sing. Or act. Or build microchips. Or marry the Prime Minister of France. Or get giant breast implants. Or write a book. Or commit any nefarious crimes. Or develop an Elvis-impersonation act.
Which has kind of worried me in the last few years… Crossing the threshold to thirty, without having a hit single or sleeping with Channing Tatum was eye-opening. How had I failed to do the really important things in life?
But I guess it wasn’t really THAT eye-opening since I made it another five years before realizing that I was officially no longer on the list where somehow you just randomly get famous. I think the cutoff is thirty-two.
So I was incredibly relieved that FINALLY, the heavens had revealed my true destiny. Because, you know, SO MANY bloggers have gained fame and accolade. And Pulitzers and ticker-tape parades. And gold bars and a knighthood. And also a mansion where I do not have to vacuum my own rugs.
Thank you, God. I hate vacuuming so much.
So I got busy. Really busy. With my blog… my new project. My new dedication.
I texted Slim Paley: you’d better just pack it in, lady… there’s a newer, slimmer, paler blogger in town.
I sat in front of my computer and rubbed my hands together and got started.
And? It turns out that I can’t even muster the mental-energy to tell you where I got my bathroom sink faucets. Let alone feature someone else’s vintage luggage collection.
Or care about a million-dollar kitchen that’s already been featured ten-thousand other places because the entire thing, including the trash can, is made out of pure marble.
However? I could write you a ten-page essay on the ways that a house remodel becomes an extreme, marriage Petri dish.
I could also write you a ten-page essay on how much I love my cat… which you can look forward to, at some point in the future.
In fact, I could write endlessly about any of the following:
• The boy I almost married.
• The time my best friend and I had an eye-clawing fight over a man with a ponytail.
• How recently, I was scammed out of $200.
Not due to some sophisticated legerdemain, on the scammer’s part. But due solely to my own eagerness to believe the unbelievable. Plowing past red-flag after red-flag after red-flag.
And how, in my ongoing efforts to add idiocy on top of idiocy and never think anything through… I gave him extra, to reward the almost unbelievable turn of events.
But you know what? I cannot tell you HOW MUCH EASIER it would be: to feature some dream kitchen/private stone quarry/parking-garage-for-appliances-that-cost-more-than-a-car.
And? You know what else? That is what people are looking for: marble kitchens. Also marble bathrooms. Probably also marble doghouses.
You know what people are not searching for? Yes. Correct. This. Right here.
The rough draft of this post is now clocking in at 9 pages. Not double spaced.
Do you have any idea of the energy it takes to:
A-write 9 pages about a topic that is not even remotely search-engine friendly, so that maybe a few people will read it?
B- edit those pages down to no more than five, so that the few people who DO read it, do not abandon you halfway through?
C- apply some element of writing 101 where you have a plot, an arc, a beginning, a conclusion?
DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT I AM DOING HERE PEOPLE?
This is work. And? I hate it. This is not why I started a blog. AT ALL.
Where is my fame? Where is my fortune? Where are my 100,000 visitors per day?
WHERE ARE YOU???
I’ll tell you where you are—you’re out there googling Christmas craft projects.
see all my holiday decorations & Christmas house tour
Sandi
December 4, 2012 @ 11:21 am
One can only admire your dedication…to disco balls. You type drafts? I am vastly impressed. Seriously. Sadly, the blogverse is not a Field of Dreams. If you build it, they don’t necessarily come.
But, those that visit YOUR remodeled home online are vastly entertained and that’s worth a lot. 🙂
Victoria Elizabeth Barnes
December 4, 2012 @ 11:56 am
I do. I’m a control freak. Plus, I’m compelled to write down every single thing that comes into my head without regard for whether anyone wants to read it.
For example, I had WAY more to say about luxury blogs. And their dedication to asking the TRULY important questions… I wrote it all down before realizing the insane amount of time I’d just devoted.
patinaandcompany
December 4, 2012 @ 11:22 am
I am just loving the disco-ball snow globe effect, and the colour of your front doors!
And how you always capture the essence of what crazy thoughts we are thinking when we do these crazy things–did I mention how every unnecessary purchase can now be justified by the fact of how the results can be posted on said aspirational blog? “Newer, slimer, paler blogger . . .”!! Wow.
Anyway, your blog is such a ringing endorsement of pursuing exactly “who you are” with a vengeance. So, having just read this, I am freshly motivated to do whatever-the-h*## obsessive-crazy quirk-induced stuff I want, ALL DAY.
Victoria Elizabeth Barnes
December 4, 2012 @ 12:05 pm
I am so full of vengeance… I am sometimes frightened of myself.
Thank you for acknowledging my play on slimmer, paler… it is probably the height of all possible wittiness and I should just stop now.
patinaandcompany
December 4, 2012 @ 12:22 pm
No, no, never stop! I enjoy the morning laughs and also you are giving me, and surely lots of others, lots of justification for all of our whimsy and the pursuit of our kicks.
Karen B.
December 4, 2012 @ 11:25 am
Victoria,
I was nervous that this was leading to you telling us, your loyal readers (including most of my friends who wait to comment on my blog until after you’ve commented because they love to read what you write) that you were leaving us.
By the way, as usual your analysis and conclusion are spot on…that said, it’s blog sites like yours that make reading, and commenting, and getting to know the writer (as much as you can know someone you’ve never met) that make blogging so much fun. Persevere. I know I’m not alone in my love of your site and reading WHATEVER you decide to write about. And yes, I know it’s a lot of work (although I know I don’t work nearly as hard as you at it, which is why I have few commentators) but I believe in your case you will find fame and fortune…it takes time…more time than it should.
By the way, our cat looks a lot like Elvis. Unfortunately she’s leaving us tomorrow…she’s 17 and become so infirm and frail. We’ll miss her.
Have a good week, and don’t worry, you probably have more fans than you realize.
xo,
Karen
Victoria Elizabeth Barnes
December 4, 2012 @ 12:08 pm
OH Karen! I’m so sorry about your cat. Two years ago, my family put our 14 yr old cat to sleep. He had an inoperable tumor in his nose that over time restricted his breathing. It was so terrible… he was part of our family, and every Christmas since then, I’ve been sad not to see him sleeping under the tree.
I’ll be thinking of you tomorrow.
p.s.- I am not leaving until someone gives me some free stuff in exchange for blogging about it…
Karen B.
December 4, 2012 @ 12:45 pm
Thanks, Victoria. It was hard because both of our sons were saddened and with one getting married I was concerned that he even know, but he said he was happy to say his goodbyes and Maggie cat truly loved him the best. There are so many fun memories of her and her antics, we’ll be fine. But loosing a pet is so darn sad.
Karen
Victoria Elizabeth Barnes
December 5, 2012 @ 4:48 pm
Virtual hugs… Thinking of you and your family.
It’s no fair that their furry lives are so much shorter than ours.
Sher'ee Ochsner
December 4, 2012 @ 11:40 am
I am a fan!! Keep blogging –
Victoria Elizabeth Barnes
December 4, 2012 @ 12:23 pm
Thank you!! Seriously… that means the world to me.
Sarah Y
December 4, 2012 @ 12:01 pm
I am living a renovation nightmare, too, and also had the brilliantly unoriginal thought to blog about it. I started reading other renovation blogs for real-world DIY advice. I quickly got frustrated because most of the “renovations” were essentially glorified craft projects (nothing against crafts, but they are not going to help me figure out the plumbing for my house or figure out how much lime I need to add to my mortar when I repoint the bricks), or the true renovations were just daily reports of what their *contractor* had accomplished. I found your blog through GardenWeb, a place I alternately love (so much inspiration and information) and hate (you’re ripping out that entire kitchen because you don’t like the cabinet knobs??). I like that you keep it real. I like that you’re not as obnoxiously perky as Young House Love. I like that you’re unafraid of hanging an inordinate amount of disco balls on your front porch. I like knowing that, to normal people, renovation.is.not.easy. Because if it is, I’m doing it wrong. Really, really, really wrong.
My blog is no big hit (I keep it up mostly so my parents can see the progress) but my only advice is to keep doing what you’re doing. You’ve got a voice, you’ve got a point of view, you’ve got something to say, and most of all, you’ve got a sparkly front porch.
Victoria Elizabeth Barnes
December 4, 2012 @ 12:35 pm
I read your comment, and I was like—hey! My twin!! And I tried to sprint to your blog… but your gravatar doesn’t link to anything. Hello? Have you not learned the cardinal rule of blogging—self-promotion at all times?
Seriously? I LONG for the day when this is a blog dedicated to my contractor’s updates…
Gardenweb is alternately the best source for renovation stuff. AND a place that makes me feel like my husband and I are not spending NEARLY enough money on our house… some of the installs over on the kitchen board make my brain hurt. I mean, A- why is your house so giant. And B- what is it like, to have a full square-mile of soapstone in your kitchen?
p.s.- If? In the end? There are awards to be given for sparkly porches? I will win all of them.
Tonya
December 4, 2012 @ 12:02 pm
Found myself some baby disco balls, but hope to find some larger ones for a good deal after Christmas. Then next year (cross my fingers) I will have a space that I can hang my like you did. No porch or space with tons of light right now:(
Enjoy sitting and watching the lovely sparkles.
Victoria Elizabeth Barnes
December 4, 2012 @ 12:56 pm
Well… you can always just staple them to your living room ceiling and sit around with a flashlight. 🙂
Tonya
April 27, 2016 @ 12:49 pm
Never found any large ones, but ended up tying the small ones to the end of my fan chain in the kitchen. When the sun shines in the windows late afternoon the walls are all sparkly and happy. They make me so happy.
sarajanelle
December 4, 2012 @ 12:04 pm
This is all SO TRUE! I haven’t slept with Channing Tatum yet either… seriously what is wrong with me? It’s not like he’s down the road and I can knock on the door, knock his wife out and head on it… but… oh sigh thats not an excuse I should’ve trekked my way to LA a long time ago. 🙂 I don’t often write interesting things on my blog, but when I do it honestly saddens me that no one will see it. haha. I LOVE your blog though. I love your writing and I love the progress on the house. Keep working hard, your work is well worth it to your followers!
Victoria Elizabeth Barnes
December 4, 2012 @ 1:00 pm
WAIT. Channing Tatum is married? Are you kidding me???
Nope, according to Google, you are not making that up. However, he’s been married three whole years… so is probably due for a divorce soon. Maybe we can roadtrip out to LA together?
sarajanelle
December 4, 2012 @ 1:43 pm
hahah three years in LA??? Ha yea it’s probably crumbling as I type this. Road trip? merry christmas to us! I’ll be knocking on your door first thing tomorrow morning… ! 😉
Meghan
December 4, 2012 @ 12:32 pm
LOVE the disco balls!!! .
Victoria Elizabeth Barnes
December 4, 2012 @ 6:57 pm
Thanks… as you can see, so do I!!
vintagekaren
December 4, 2012 @ 1:34 pm
LOVE, LOVE, LOVE your blog and totally get where you’re coming from. 🙂 When I started my blog 15 months ago, I assumed that my readership would grow at a respectable clip and I would get all warm and fuzzy knowing that a lot of people liked what I was writing and maybe, off in the not-too-distant future, I could make $$ off it. Alas. Alas. It has not panned out that way. Now I am learning to be happy with a small, quirky following and the chance to write about things that matter to me…though I still fantasize about becoming a “hot” commodity!!
Victoria Elizabeth Barnes
December 4, 2012 @ 7:01 pm
I do absolutely love the people who read my blog… it’s the people who aren’t reading it that I have a problem with.
I’m like, chop chop readers, let’s move it here. Hurry up and find me already! I don’t know how that even happens… other than time, patience, random blessings from the internet-gods…
Sasha Lynn
December 4, 2012 @ 2:08 pm
You make me long for disco balls in ways I never imagined. Yes, woman. You have BALLS.
I can’t even haul out my tree yet because I have to mud, sand, and paint my dining room first. Your blog is so much more entertaining than my giant bucket of mud and putty knife today. Between my own pointless blog on toxic sweet potato fries and your disco balls I have successfully procrastinated myself to lunch time.
Color me jealous. I wish I had your balls.
Victoria Elizabeth Barnes
December 4, 2012 @ 7:58 pm
I have LOTS of balls…
I appreciate the compliment—however, I know for a fact that ANYTHING is more interesting than sanding.
Ralna Cunningham
December 4, 2012 @ 2:09 pm
The only blog in our family has been my daughter’s. She grew oyster mushrooms for the science fair. We had shrooms growing in the cabinet above the fridge in little canning jars. Readers mysteriously appeared to cheer her on, and that’s a pretty obscure topic. The box of remaining oyster mushroom spawn was left on our garage floor for too long. The fungus forced its way out of confinement and sporulated and left a large perfect mushroom print on the floor. The soil, compost and mulch forum on Gardenweb has provided so much entertainment for me. The only house blog I read is yours, for the entertainment. Also I plan to grow some enormo zinnias next year, thanks. I’m all about decorating the yard.
Victoria Elizabeth Barnes
December 4, 2012 @ 8:12 pm
Thinking perhaps I should reconsider my blog niche. I know nothing about fungi. But, I imagine given time I could think of something to say. Plus, I imagine the competition is WAY less stiff. Also great for the compost!!
You will love the giant Zinnia. Word to the wise: stake them BEFORE they are giant and falling over and crushing each other. I plan to maybe cage them or something. They got WAY out of hand by the end of the summer.
Stacey
December 4, 2012 @ 2:31 pm
I’m not sure if I should laugh (as usual) or cry over this wonderful post. I have felt your frustration, exhaustion, maybe even disappointment lately. Let me just say this little miss fabulous… YOU ARE LOVED! YOU ARE FAMOUS! YOU have something much more to offer than marble walls and shiny fixtures. Surely you’ve figured out by now that NONE of that is as interesting as the person behind it. For me, nothing is more real and enjoyable than someone who shares stories about their imperfect lives and the crazy shit that happens. My own disgust for the “blogging” world almost made me stop and say “screw it”… but then I realized that I’m not in a competition (and neither are you, Victoria!) I think the days of Young House Love fame are O-V-E-R!!! Besides, I’ve seen some of their “home improvements”. Okay, they’re cute… but lots of what they do is staged, temporary, or done incorrectly. (sorry, everyone can hate me now… or later, whatever… it’s true, though).
You my dear have something much more appealing. Yes, I love your gorgeous house and great taste. I love the projects you and Paul complete and I oooo and ahhh over the results. I for one LOVE the mix of posts here and thoroughly enjoyed reading about your road trip to Texas, your best friend, the huge rock that almost killed someone, your love of dancing and disco balls, and the sheer and utter torture making decisions puts you through ….it’s all good!!! No, it’s all GREAT! It’s great because we can ALL relate. Honestly, I’m totally jazzed about hearing the stories about the boy you almost married, Kitty Elvis, or the $200 scam. THAT IS THE BEST! I know, I know, it’s not the easiest. Just write and don’t worry. You have a gift. One of my next posts will be about a stranger at Subway who invited us to a $50 a plate dinner. LIFE IS TOO FUN!
Oh and P.S. ….
I bet Channing Tatum sucks in bed! The real question is… can the dude custom build a medicine cabinet with glass shelves and a mirror. HA HA!
Love ya!
Victoria Elizabeth Barnes
December 5, 2012 @ 7:36 am
Thank you, Stacey… that is like the perfect comment. I wish you lived around the corner from me so we could go out for a beer and an in-depth analysis of whether we will be glad ten years from now that we spent all this time on blogging. Rather than, say, reading Proust.
I’ve referenced YHL multiple times recently… I subscribed to them last month—hoping to get a better understanding of what it is they are doing that is so special/unique… They are not the standard-bearer (to me) of what I want in my blog. And, all their stuff looks like it comes from HomeGoods, which isn’t a complement, coming from me… But they have such a massive audience!!!
My observation is their sheer ability to churn out content. Real content—their own STUFF. EVERY day. Is mindboggling. I know they do it full time. But still. If I had all the time in the world and a cleaning lady and a chef, I still couldn’t do THAT much pure text everyday.
I don’t care if I ever make one dollar from this blog. But I am shocked at how much I care about readers. Strangers… and how it’s discouraging to not know how to collect new ones… I am such a hoarder.
I am also shocked at the amount of effort ONE post takes. I definitely did not have any concept of the energy/thought/lack of cooking dinner… required to put words and images in a format that is appealing.
I DO think that the best blogs are personal accounts of life-stuff. And there aren’t enough of them. But at the same time, I feel like I am drowning in a sea of blogs. Both via my own consumption of them and feeling like I’m just one more in a giant pile…
p.s.- did you go to your impromptu dinner-invite? I will definitely write about getting ripped off. Kind of an expensive blog post… but nice to have something in my life where instead of being outraged, I was like, oh this will be a good post…
Stacey
December 5, 2012 @ 2:13 pm
Disclaimer: The following reply is really long and probably unnecessary, but I couldn’t help myself. 🙂
I’d love to have a beer with you! Until then, please feel free to vent, discuss, trash talk, and laugh about all this with me anytime.
I think sometimes it’s hard to say what you REALLY want to say in a blog post for fear that you might piss off or alienate your readers. Blogging is a trip! I swear I’ve gone through so many emotions I feel like I’m in a relationship with a guy I can’t stand but won’t let go of. He pisses me off, makes me cry, makes me have self-esteem issues and then turns around and sweet talks me with flowers, sex and uncontrollable laughter and I can’t let him go!!! …. then he doesn’t call for two weeks. (HA HA HA!)
I do understand the frustration when you so obviously have great stuff to offer but aren’t getting the amount of action other less interesting blogs are getting. I’m not sure if YHL mentions this on their website but my guess is they have some big-time help with what they do. It wouldn’t surprise me if they had a photographer, editor, project manager, baby-sitter or even a cook. You and I both know how time consuming just ONE post is and they’re churning them out like butter! They surely have a staff of people who contribute, guide, and push it along. I would think any business that is that big has some pretty great “employees” backing them up.
It seems to me that most of the visitors and commenters on your blog are of a certain age, intelligence, and have a wit about them that the general population just doesn’t get. This is NOT a jab at anyone… it’s a compliment to you and the folks who follow, but it also narrows the playing field. (Not mean, just honest) I’m not sure why some follow ‘this’ but not ‘that’. I often wonder if it’s a competition thing. Like “Oh I want to hang out with the popular crowd”. They follow and comment to feel accepted or to promote themselves at a place where they know people will be. Who knows? I know I’m drawn to the opposite.
A friend of mine once told me that he thought blogs were stupid and rarely looked at them because it seemed they were just there for bloggers to stroke each others egos. YIKES! At first it pissed me off because I know why I do it, but was it true? Are we all just looking for someone to stroke our egos and adore the hell out of us. Do we want to be that awesome?
HA HA HA! For some I’m sure it’s a game… for others it’s a passion, a creative outlet, a way to connect with like-minded people who truly “get what you’re doing”. And yes, sometimes it turns into a career. I think the career is a rarity. At a time when EVERYONE and their grandmother has a blog it becomes more and more difficult to find the people that matter and keep them coming back. It’s overwhelming, I agree!
I guess I’m trying to say to you (because I think this topic truly matters) is that you are pretty freaking awesome and should totally be proud of every word you type and every picture you take. To me, you are one of the MOST successful bloggers I know. Seriously.. no shit! YOU ARE! If you never got another follower you HAVE SUCCEEDED! It kills me … and this is true….. I see MANY blogs out there that advertise how many followers they have. You’ll see a number like 1,562 and when you start looking through their blog you see NO COMMENTS or maybe just one or two from their mom and dad. Ummmm, what’s up with that? Are those 1,562 people really following? Are they even interested? Or did they follow you in hopes that you would follow back? How can over 1,000 people be following you and NOBODY reach out or even say “hello, this sucks”. (one of the MAIN reasons I switched from .com to .org) The amount of attention and conversation that takes place here is as good or better than the interaction you see on any so called “successful” blog. You’re big time, girl! Bask in the glory!!!!
Now hurry up and drink your beer… you need to work on your next post!
Victoria Elizabeth Barnes
December 6, 2012 @ 9:01 am
I think you need to copy and paste this comment into your own blog so that everyone sees your analysis… (especially since your tortured-relationship analogy is so delightful). Everything you said I was like, uh huh, mm hmm. Including worrying that I am simply a navel-gazing narcissist. Although, that’s probably *more true than not* in my “real” life, so it’s not like blogging is turning me into someone I might not otherwise be.
At times I’ve felt like this is some kind of Herculean effort I’m putting forth for unspecified reasons. For good, and for bad. Some of the stuff I’ve written down would have never occurred to me if I didn’t just SIT down in front of the computer. But at the same time, it’s become so important to me that I feel a little unhinged. I really think that if Paul has to hear one more word about my blog, he will be entitled to prohibit the topic entirely.
And, it’s not like I’m devoting any of this Herculean effort to saving the planet… or endangered animals… or at the very least using the blog as a platform from which to yell at people about the dangers of pesticides.
And, yes! WHO ARE THOSE PEOPLE who have been blogging for 3 months and have 800 followers? Seriously! When I see that, I am like—I should just unplug my computer now…
On top of that… only interacting with other bloggers (who are incredibly kind and supportive)… it feels insulated. I don’t feel like I have any sense of any bigger picture (if there is one). I’m not sure exactly why that feels important—I’ll have to think about it. But I guess not knowing makes the experience feel less valid or important.
I was talking to a friend/acquaintance who used to have a blog… this was back before I understood the importance of supporting her, plus we’re not super close… so I never read it or gave it any thought. And I was saying to her how I am sometimes STRESSED out over something I am doing for FREE, which no one is forcing me to do… and how that makes NO sense.
And she was like, well are you having fun? And I was like, huh? Fun? I don’t know. I guess. I guess this is fun. Sometimes?
LaurieC
December 9, 2013 @ 1:29 pm
Hi Stacey… just had to say how much I’ve enjoyed reading your replies on here. Well said! You write like I think so I was able to relate to and understand everything you said. Which is a great complement! Sometimes I have to shake my head at how some people speak in their writing (or don’t ). I so agree with you. I just yesterday had the thought I was so tired and weary of blogs full of photos of all these totally ‘perfect’ magazine-cover homes. That is not reality for the majority of people – just the rich ones. Yes, a few nice ‘ideas’ might pop up from their homes, but ‘live like them’.. ? … not hardly, and have no desire to.
I replied to Victoria previously somewhere on here that THE thing I most loved about her blog page, was that it gave me something to READ. I love words. Photos are nice, but they can be over-stimulating sometimes. I am turned off by blogs that feature all photos (aka bragging in my opinion) and only a few descriptive sentences in between the photos describing all their personal greatness about themselves.
So, to also have all these wonderful replies on here to enjoy reading is even more of an eye-candy to me, than those ‘professional’ blogs full of things that I can in no way relate to, and don’t want to.
I think of blogging in this way: everyone has a voice, and everyone has a right to speak their voice, and express who they are ‘inside’. Not everyone can get a book published and read, not everyone’s letter will get printed in the local newspaper, but, everyone can have a blog, and let their heart and soul be freely expressed. It matters NOT how ‘many’ follow or read it. It only matters that one does what one feels led to do from within one’s own heart and soul. And if it is making your ‘self’ feel happy and free and fulfilled in some way – then that is ‘success’ to me.
I see so many ‘silencers’ all over FB pages, trying to shut down peoples voices and opinions by arguing and disagreeing and flat out telling them they basically are wrong to be who they are, wrong to like what they like, and wrong to say what they say. Blogging should first and foremost be about one’s freedom of expression of one’s self. That is the true source of joy in doing it.
At almost 62, I’ve lived long enough to have multiple experiences of ‘things’, ‘books’, or ‘people’ coming into my life at the precise moment I needed it to – without any effort on my part. So believe me, in life, “it will come” if it is meant to, or if it is a definite need in one’s life. Trust that truth. No amount of effort will ever be able to force what is not meant to be. And no amount of effort can stop what IS meant to be. The ‘right’ people showing up at the right place, (or blog) is what is most important. Like-minded souls, and like-minded hearts.
I too am a great fan of Ms. Victoria’s blog, and admirer of Ms. Victoria the person. I should think only the best of the best will find their way here , don’t you? The rest of them can stay at those ‘other’ kind of places. Thank you for sharing your wonderful words and thoughts. You blessed many by doing so.
Lara Laveda Croft
December 5, 2012 @ 10:41 am
Stacey–I loved this post–glad to see my V is appreciated as she deserves 🙂
Victoria Elizabeth Barnes
December 6, 2012 @ 9:04 am
Love you… and that pic!
Kim W.
December 4, 2012 @ 2:42 pm
I love your blog and your writing and your disco balls and everything. Your posts come to me via email, so I don’t comment as often as I want to. Do you realize just how much ENERGY it takes to click the mouse to leave a comment? (Honestly, I often start to write a comment and then realize you don’t know me and I’m embarrassing myself and I should probably close the laptop, put the baby down and wash the dishes. Which is what I’ll do now.)
Victoria Elizabeth Barnes
December 5, 2012 @ 7:42 am
I DO actually realize the effort it takes to leave a comment. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve left a site open in a tab… meaning to come back to it when I had something witty and charming to say… and then just closed it at the end of the night.
Plus, I sometimes long for the days back before I had a blog… when I would just merrily consume other people’s hard-written content without it ever occurring to me to leave a comment.
So, thanks for yours, I appreciate it!
p.s.- your blog name is funny and creative. When I was thinking about mine, it became obvious that all the good names were taken…
Alex @ northstory
December 4, 2012 @ 2:44 pm
Stop making me sneeze ginger ale out of my nose when I read your entries. I am seriously dying laughing.
If it makes you feel any better, despite all the crafting I do to distract my kids from ripping apart yet another rug in the living room (instead they just ruin a kitchen table) I get NO hits for crafts. You know what gets me the most SEO? Ikea. Little conglomerate they are. I could pour blood sweat and tears into say a card and I’m lucky if it would even come into the side view as a fleck of dust for an editor or blogger at AT. The first week I went all WP.org on my ass, I got 2 views. One I am pretty sure was from you. Two hits. By the end of the month I think I had less than 50. That’s another entry I should do on what really happens when you deflect from WP.com and think your readers will follow.
Also some of my favourite blogs are far from the mainstream ones more flashing ads than Times Square in their sidebar. Yours however is b/c of your writing and I like the disco balls!!! I can also relate to the home decor stuff though b/c when I started I thought I am totally going to do that and then the reality of actually taking photos of the clean pretty space of the “after” shot came into play and I am like there is just no way that is going to happen on a regular basis. I’m still in awe of the kids room makeovers on design blogs. I keep thinking do you have real children? I’ll send mine over. They’ll antique your painted table without you having to steep tea bags and reach for more sanding paper.
PS – Channing. Yeah I get that.
Victoria Elizabeth Barnes
December 5, 2012 @ 8:41 am
I am now terrified to leave .com. I have a test site set up, and have been playing with it. But if I switch, and have that experience? Of two views? Because I wanted more widgets? I will be incredibly mad at myself…
I wish more bloggers would write about what they want out of it/how they feel it’s going… I guess that might not be interesting to non-bloggers. And I kind of forget that not everyone on the planet HAS a blog, let alone wants to talk about nothing else… I need to make some in-real-life blogger friends. Because I am wearing on everyone’s nerves around here.
Ikea, huh? I would have sworn you had the craft market tied up. Although, I cannot imagine the number of other craft bloggers. It’s probably, what? Two? Three-times the house-blogging saturation? And yes, those kids rooms? I myself would be happy to have some of them…
Jessica
December 4, 2012 @ 3:12 pm
I started my blog three years ago for no particular reason. I’ve thought a couple times about really networking and monetizing, getting sponsors, all that crap. I mean, I just read that the woman who writes TipJunkie makes $10k a month. I would not turn that down. But then I think about all the work that must entail and I just get really tired. I’m patting myself on the back for actually posting every day (well, every weekday) for two weeks. I am probably not ready for $10k-a-month-level blogging. So I’ll just stick with my dozen page views a day and my fourteen followers until I magically become a household name blogger, like the Petersiks or Jenny Lawson.
Oh, and when I took out my Christmas ornaments, I noticed that some of the gold ones looked like tiny disco balls and I thought of you.
Victoria Elizabeth Barnes
December 5, 2012 @ 9:04 am
I just went and looked at TipJunkie. Is she even writing anything? Or is it just a collection of other people’s craft stuff? I didn’t make an account, so maybe I would have seen more if I could log in… Either way, $10k is enough to motivate me to do some SERIOUS internet-time. Really. I could pay someone to do our kitchen… which is my not-so-secret fantasy. It would be even more exciting than if Channing showed up on my doorstep.
Jessica
December 5, 2012 @ 9:13 am
I agree. I think I could have a lot more to blog about (and thus, a lot more traffic, a lot more opportunity to get advertisers and a lot more money) if I had the money to do stuff to blog about. Think you could get a small business loan for a blog?
LaurieC
December 9, 2013 @ 1:39 pm
Thank you Jessica for making me laugh-out-loud just now. Loved your comments.
I need to go get a FB/Blog “research” loan. I spend a great deal of time gathering information, statistics, and knowledge. It’s got to be worth something somewhere to someone!
Slim Paley
December 4, 2012 @ 7:12 pm
I slept with Channing Tatum.
xx Slim Paley
Bianca
December 4, 2012 @ 8:26 pm
ha ha Slim 🙂
Victoria Elizabeth Barnes
December 5, 2012 @ 9:12 am
Oh, Slim…
Won’t you come over and mastermind my life’s aesthetic aspects?
Bring Channing.
Lesley
August 8, 2013 @ 11:58 pm
I was just about to say ‘hey, don’t slam slim’ when she popped up and made me laugh….again….all the way over here on your blog. That girl is funny…the photos on her blog are just the breadcrumbs leading you on to read her quirky, witty posts.
But you’re funny too. Honestly.
Victoria Elizabeth Barnes
August 9, 2013 @ 9:09 am
I’m a Slim-fan… any snark was intended in the most flattering way possible.
RedCandy
December 4, 2012 @ 7:35 pm
You know what? i honestly prefer the blogs that are keeping it real. I have no interest in marble floors, or blogs with ALL their images pinched from pinterest. I like real people with real lives. It’s probably why my following is so small. 😉
And i would love to read a post about your cat. Along with a husband, three kids, two dogs and two birds, i also have two gorgeous cats! i love cats. They are favourite….after hubby and kids of course. 😉
RedCandy
December 4, 2012 @ 7:40 pm
That should read, “they are my favourite”. My poor editing is probably another reason i don’t have more followers.
oh, and chevron! I thought i was only one who wasn’t in love with it. It’s zig zag lines people…..giving it a fancy name doesn’t make it cool. 😉
Victoria Elizabeth Barnes
December 5, 2012 @ 4:07 pm
I love all animals, but something about cats especially… at some point I will be a crazy old cat lady. It will have to be after Paul has lost his mind though, because he is totally prohibiting my true personality. 🙂
Nice of you to put your animals third in line behind hubby and kids. Frankly, my cat is right up there with Paul. He knows this, so it’s not like I’m hiding it from him.
Linn @ The Home Project
December 4, 2012 @ 8:02 pm
Ah, Victoria. I’d much rather read about your love for your cat, or the boy you almost married, or some post where you write about your difficulty to choose the right color stain for your front porch, than having you write some forced post about your bathroom faucet. And I know, isn’t it HARD to keep a blog going! I know what you’re saying, it’s hard work. But I for one, really like reading your posts, so I think you should continue do what you’re doing, even though it probably won’t make you a superstar. Although I think you so have a leg up on Young House Love in terms of writing and personality, and Home Depot SHOULD give you a big, fat advertising sponsorship! Maybe you should stop thinking so much about what you should blog about, and just write what you feel like writing about. Things usually work out much better that way!
Victoria Elizabeth Barnes
December 5, 2012 @ 4:25 pm
Thanks Linn… this year has passed so quickly, and in another four months I’ll have been blogging for a year. In some ways it’s been great… in others I think I’ve spent an INSANE amount of time on the internet. Not all of which has been well-spent or managed.
Plus, I am an over-thinker, over-worrier, over-analyzer… I want to know what is happening at all times… where it’s going, what my options are, what the worst case scenario is… I hate open-ended unspecified things!
On the other hand, it really has forced me to write things down in a way that I wouldn’t have, otherwise. Which I value a LOT.
mrscarmichael
December 5, 2012 @ 4:05 am
Stepping out in the Kate Spade I’ll raise you Don Draper (I’m a one man bunny boiler) and, for your sake, I hope your bejazzled disco/glitter balls are alarmed.
Victoria Elizabeth Barnes
December 5, 2012 @ 4:19 pm
Look. You took Don from me. Do not try elbowing in on Channing.
GET YOUR OWN.
mrscarmichael
December 20, 2012 @ 8:49 am
Victoria, I have nominated you for a star in the blog of the year 2012 awards. Just follow the link.
http://mrscarmichael.wordpress.com/2012/12/20/on-discovering-i-am-nominated-for-blog-of-the-year-2012-and-choking-on-my-morning-mango/
Congratulations 🙂
Victoria Elizabeth Barnes
December 20, 2012 @ 8:25 pm
Congrats on your award. And thank you for sharing!!
Shannon
December 5, 2012 @ 10:18 am
Don’t you dare stop!!! I always check to see if you’ve written anything new, don’t take that away from me!!!
Victoria Elizabeth Barnes
December 5, 2012 @ 4:20 pm
Hey! Thank you, seriously. THANK YOU.