Holiday gift guide— AND a giant fancy giveaway.
I hate getting presents.
It’s an extension of my fundamental hatred of surprises.
And if I want to extrapolate that to a deeper level of self-analysis: my hatred of surprises is actually a hatred of other people’s expectations.
I hate all surprises. At all times. From all people.
Unless you are giving me a kitten.
In which case, thank you. But I cannot accept it… I can only accept gifts of stray, elderly cats with medical issues.
However, since now is the time of year when we are socially obligated to participate in joyful gift-giving, and I am obligated by blogger code to speak of nothing but the holidays and how I graciously bring warmth and elegancy (not a word? Think again.) to every element… I decided to do a gift guide.
(If you’re only here for the shiny giveaway, you’d better just go ahead and scroll already.)
I sat down to write this imaginary-magical-list-of-brilliant-advice-to-simplify-your-holidays and I tried to steer STRAIGHT TOWARDS MY GOAL. But the Distraction Troll started typing about Gwyneth, and then randomly began googling vintage Christmas ads.
To get myself back on track, I crowdsourced you all for your best gift ideas… and I was overwhelmed at how great your responses were.
If you’re stuck for a suggestion, OR want a different perspective on what YOU think is a good gift, go read all the responses.
If you want a summary of the advice? Here it is:
THINK ABOUT THE GIFT FOR MORE THAN FIVE SECONDS.
Unfortunately, after reading your replies, it was clear to me that you do NOT need a gift guide… which I guess is why Gwyneth doesn’t ask her goop-readers for help… and also because NO ONE actually wants compote from berries harvested by monks in the outer reaches of the Mongolian Alps. (I made that up, and my grasp of world topography is pretty shaky so don’t make any vacation plans based on my theories.)
Anyway. I already started down this path, so here’s what I came up with before you all crushed my perception of myself as saving you from the gift-giving pit of despair.
For the cook. OR for anyone who has a refrigerator. OR for anyone who eats food:
- You use these silicone suction lid covers in place of plastic wrap. They create a seal with any bowl that has a normal rim. I use mine ALL the time. They are super practical, inexpensive, and I have never given them to anyone who already had a set… They also make a great housewarming gift.
For parents/family/loved ones:
- Digital photo frame loaded up with all of the pictures that you have on your computer.
- Transfer old home movies to digital… bonus if you make a Christmas morning highlight reel.
- A photo album/coffee table book. I made one in iPhoto a few years ago— it was fun to make and my parents LOVED it. (I made mine on my computer, but I know there are lots of places online… If you’ve used one that you are happy with, let us know in the comments?)
For a teacher:
- On behalf of all teachers everywhere, I IMPLORE you to put down the scented lotion/candles/mulling spices/Mason jar filled with bath salts.
Teachers do not need any more random crap. - A gift card to Amazon will do just fine… I know it can feel weird to give a gift card because it places an actual dollar value on the gift, but please believe me when I tell you that your teacher would RATHER have 30, $5 gift cards RATHER than 30 mugs.
- Don’t give a gift card to one specific store…. not everyone loves Starbucks and Target.
GIVEAWAY– what? You thought I’d give you something practical?
When I saw these, I pretty much had a seizure… Like walking in on the final round of Iris Apfel and Diana Vreeland attempting to one-up each other in an earring contest adjudicated by Little Edie.
You really need to click through and see the giant fanciness that is Anna Davern’s mind… she is an Australian artist who makes all her designs by hand in her studio.
OBVIOUSLY I love the giant fanciness. But I also love the humor. And the general ridiculousness.
General ridiculousness is pretty much my fashion mantra.
Then I told myself– no. Don’t get excited. They cannot be that big.
BUT THEY ARE.
The earrings are super lightweight… and they go with EVERYTHING. There is no sweatpant that is not immediately improved by these.
So I emailed the glorious mind behind such a creation and I told her – I know these people? They are the best people on the Internet. Maybe you should give them earrings? In return I will tell them about your giant fancy designs… And she said yes.
So if you’d like these for yourself… or know someone inclined towards awesomeness, enter below. If you don’t win, or want a different pair, Anna is offering a 15% discount through Christmas if you enter code: VictoriaElizabeth.
tammigirl
November 25, 2014 @ 10:17 am
After your message this morning I was ready to jump and see what it would be.
ONLY.
YOU.
Could find this awesomeness!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Heather
November 25, 2014 @ 10:18 am
Laughed through this….needed it with Christmas coming.
RamonaQ
November 25, 2014 @ 10:18 am
:oO I had no idea anyone else felt the same way about presents. I’m not alone!
♪ ♫ ♪ \(◠o◠\) (/◠_◠)/ \( ◠o◠)/ \(´ ˘ `)/ ♪ ♫ ♪
Maggieful
November 25, 2014 @ 1:12 pm
I, too, hate surprises. Anytime a gift-giving day is coming, I can’t stand it. I beg, pester, and generally annoy anyone who could possibly have anything to do with giving a present or a surprise. I’m a complete nuisance for the entire two weeks leading up to these days, but I can usually get people to give in and tell me what’s going on/what I’m getting so that it’s no longer a surprise. My go to statement usually has something to do with it being akin to torture for me to know there is a surprise, but not what it is. That’s when everyone gives in, because who would want to torture me? 🙂
Ann
November 25, 2014 @ 10:24 am
O.o
We agree on a lot of things..until it comes to this topic. I love surprises!
Jessica
November 25, 2014 @ 10:32 am
Just bought the silicone lids for my man friend who doesn’t own tupperware. Brilliant – had no idea those things existed.
Victoria Elizabeth Barnes
November 25, 2014 @ 10:39 am
They really ARE the perfect gift because they are so neutral AND incredibly practical… when I found out about them I was like– how did I not know about these???
Tiffany
November 25, 2014 @ 10:36 am
Oh my goodness! I personally would never be able to pull off such fabulousness, but I know just the person who could!
Edith
November 25, 2014 @ 10:38 am
Hi Victoria,
You’re not alone in this. I HATE getting presents too, but I never realized WHY until I read your analysis – and you’re right on! It’s the hate of SURPRISES. Plus the hate of WASTE. Thank you for that lightbulb moment!
I love how unique you are. And lovable. And elegant.
Janet
November 25, 2014 @ 10:40 am
My best gift(s) are the ones I am allowed to pick out for myself…and I’d have to say my Bosch axial glide compound miter saw and Bosch table saw with gravity rise stand are right up there with the best purchases I have made (close seconds are all of my power nailers, LOL!) I think the best gift is to spend time with the ones you love, hopefully with a fantastic glass of wine!
Kimberly ~ Serendipity Refined
November 25, 2014 @ 10:46 am
I am currently envisioning myself in these giant fancy earrings….I can imagine how much style they will add to my Christmas morning flannel nightgown and slippers…sweatsuits aren’t the ONLY attire that would be improved by these. ….The ladies in the grocery store check out line would be SO jealous too….oh my gosh…I LOVE THEM SO MUCH! xo
Maggieful
November 25, 2014 @ 1:13 pm
I really wish there was a “like” button for your comment, because I totally would have clicked on it!
Nicki
November 25, 2014 @ 10:48 am
Awesomeness x a trillion! And who wouldn’t want some Giant Fancy Schmancy earrings? It would be a lovely SURPRISE! I LOVE surprises…well, good surprises..like big, shiny ones or pretty high heeled ones but NOT the kind of surprise that the cat has upchucked in the middle of the night that I step in first thing in the morning…but I digress….
Sandra
November 25, 2014 @ 10:58 am
Love the fab earrings, I said a big loud “wow” out load.
Dianne
November 25, 2014 @ 11:02 am
Yes! I must own these. 🙂
Meredith
November 25, 2014 @ 11:06 am
I love your sense of humor, and I have to get some of those container covers you mentioned. Awesome idea!
Janice
November 25, 2014 @ 11:08 am
Love your humor & taste. Fun to read before the craziness of the holidays sets in. You are fun and adorable.
Meredith
November 25, 2014 @ 11:10 am
I just ordered the lids!
Monica W
November 25, 2014 @ 11:16 am
Those silicone lids are marvelous!
We usually buy these labels for housewarming presents, so that friends can mark their trashcans and recycle bins. We get odd looks, until windy weather kicks in. Not fancy but super useful :http://www.labeldaddy.com/product_previews.php?ProductID=9
And ZOMG The Earrings That Came To Dinner are Fabulous!
TJF Design
November 25, 2014 @ 3:39 pm
MONICA ~ Love these labels….Who would ever think of something like this, but OH super perfect now that all the city distributed bins look the same. And in time for Christmas for all my (like me) ocd & neurotic friends! Thank You ~!~! VEB has such awesome giant fancy things, and such an awesome hubbs, and …Well Elvis would be enough all on his own, but then to top it off…..AWESOME READERS with great ideas!!! Love VEB & Love the labels.
Carol White
November 25, 2014 @ 11:18 am
I MUST have giant bling! Love those earrings1 Total awesomeness1
I so love these and love everything you post, Victoria Elisabeth Barnes! You are a treat that I so look forward to. (I am still in envy of the kingdom mirror.) If I receive nothing else for Christmas, I want the gorgeous earrings to wear with my sweats, hiking gear, office wear, party wear, tights and sweaters, to to the football games here at Mississippi State University (Go DAWGS!) Merry Christmas, Victoria Elisabeth Barnes!
Kacy
November 25, 2014 @ 11:29 am
I like good presents and the phrase “you shouldn’t have” has been known to be uttered with truth and a fake smile.
Those earrings are fab!!! Yes I like to abreiv but only in words not in accessories.
Robin
November 25, 2014 @ 11:30 am
Lordy girl! You never fail to slay me as well as improve my morning! A thousand thanks. And the gargantuan baubles are sheer brilliance! These may Change.My.Life! Well at least they’ll “make” the outfit that is my jammies, read toile flannel top and pants. Keep ’em comin’!
Marta
November 25, 2014 @ 11:37 am
I have, to my great dismay, turned into my mother-in-law (choke, gag) who used to say, “You wouldn’t do it to suit me.” And I didn’t. Whatever I did, whatever gift I chose for her, no matter how hard I tried to please her, it didn’t suit. Which was only fair because her gifts to me didn’t suit me. (Well, one time I managed to please her and that was with a Rowena iron to replace the old and ineffective cheap iron she used to iron everything, even bras and underwear. I am not kidding.) Now I find that the gifts given to me don’t suit me and I struggle to appear happy and grateful when inside I am thinking, “Why in the hell did think I would like *that*?” Except for the gift card for massages my husband gave me last Xmas. That suited me fine. 🙂