The VEB Review — everyone is entitled to my opinion.
For the entire life of my blog, I have struggled to post once a week… my anxiety about hitting publish on anything less than rocket science is severe.
But I have to let this anxiety go because THIS IS NOT THE NEW YORKER.
If you were confused, feel free to excuse yourself.
Today I am going to air out some random facets of my brain… If this sounds boring, go read my post about repurposed kitchen island inspiration, or Pilar Guzman’s kitchen… OR go tour this restored Philadelphia mansion.
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Even though this is my blog, and I decide when I show up, and what I say when I do… there is an awareness of the scrutiny-of-strangers, and the impossibility-of-pleasing-everyone, and the fear of inadvertently making an ass of myself through some gross failure of judgment (or just my general personality), and most of all the commandment that I NEVER BORE YOU.
Combine this with the fleeting-attention-span-of-the-internet… and also the occasional unhappiness of people who don’t like what I’ve written/feel I have failed them personally/and apparently have had an entire lifetime where everything they have ever encountered has been made specifically for their enjoyment, and my blog is their first experience otherwise.
All of this can feel complicated. Like the dance of the seven veils… but with the added requirement that I pay website-hosting fees and hope that you will follow me on Facebook and vote that you like me on Instagram… because what I write doesn’t actually matter if no one validates me in the most impersonal way possible.
The feeling of finding something special: you. A community of people who share my love of the absurd and Giant Fancy Things… has sort of left me paralyzed to NOT DISAPPOINT YOU.
Which has turned into rigidity against trying anything new. And let me tell you something— I AM AWESOME AT RIGIDITY.
Inflexibility is my happy place!
But I guess I’ve finally gained some clarity about the fact that I write free content on the internet along with 37 million other blogs… and that my that failure to write EXACTLY what every single person is expecting is not equivalent to a huge catastrophe.
It took me a while to realize this, because you people are, without exaggeration, the very best thing that has ever happened to me… even the ones who don’t like me are doing me the accidental favor of allowing me to align my Self with Oscar Wilde… Self is pleased!
Anyway. All of this is to say that once in a while, I’d like to write about some things that are frivolous/interesting/time wasting/funny/important to me, but might not be utterly absorbing to you… I would love if you would hang in here with me while I add an occasional tangent to my general rotation.
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What I’m reading:
Some Luck, Jane Smiley: the first book in a trilogy that tells the history of the last 100 years in America, through a “typical” American family… it begins in 1920, and each chapter equals one year, through 1950… I really loved it and went on to the two sequels: Early Warning, and Golden Age. Neither of which were nearly as good as the first; I barely made it through the last out of respect for the scope of the project.
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What I’m watching:
Catastrophe, a UK series… The duo who play the main characters also wrote the show which is the sort of thing I really enjoy. I thought was snappy, light, fast, and tightly written… And also full of profanity, and, uh, more profanity. So, if that’s not your thing, skip it.
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Now for the exciting part where maybe I alienate you!!
WELCOME TO MY SOAP BOX: cat lady edition.
Recently I spent a lot of time standing out in front of the stadium in Philadelphia, thinking about the ways I have cheated my own belief system.
I have actively avoided sharing here, the thing that is most important to me; because your validation and enjoyment of my blog feels good and that is hard to gamble with.
But it is time for me to be the change I wish to see in the world– people saying loudly and unapologetically:
1. Animal suffering is evil.
2. WE CAN MAKE A DIFFERENCE.
What I’m doing: protesting animals in circuses.… SO MANY countries have banned animals in circuses, but the United States continues to allow it!
Here is a great article by the Humane Society that offers a concise overview of the realities of circus animal life. (There are NO images, graphic or otherwise, so please read and share it!!)
— Did you know that circus animals spend, on average, over 90% of their lives in chains or cages? Ringling’s own records show that animals can be chained for up to 60 to 100 hours straight. — Humane Society, Join The No Circus Movement
Knowing the sad lives these wild cats are living makes me want to curl up in a ball. OR set someone on fire… The middle ground is raising awareness that these animals are CAGED FOR LIFE… (if you are a rabid cat lady like me, here is a good article dedicated to wild cats in the circus.)
And it’s not just Ringling! There are SO MANY smaller circuses! Here is a list of the top EIGHT circuses; they have ALL been cited for animal welfare violations… regulations that are impossible to enforce, and nearly meaningless.
Circus animals LIVE in small, filthy travel cages with only enough room to stand and turn around… no matter freezing cold or sweltering heat, without regard for their basic care.
We can make a difference simply by SHARING information and encouraging people to NOT support circuses or any other “entertainment” that uses animals: severely emaciated tigers perform at state fairs, gas stations that double as road side tiger attractions, and this HS football team whose mascot is a LIVE baby tiger… every year they buy a new baby tiger. What happens to the old baby? Nothing good.
This is not a life for any living being.
How to make a difference:
- SPEAK OUT! Be a voice for animals! Tell your friends and use social media to SHARE INFORMATION!
- Read and sign petitions… it really does make a difference. *see below… (here are a few to start: petition Congress: End Wild Animals in Circuses, ask Ringling to retire all animals, petition to end HS mascot cub tradition)
- If the circus is coming to your town: start a conversation on your town’s social media pages. Comment on the circus’s facebook page asking them to stop using animals and send them to accredited sanctuaries!
- Write or tweet to the circus’s sponsors.
- Find a protest. (Philadelphia has TWO more circuses just in May! Protest here and here)
- Organize a protest.
- Write to your representatives to tell them you want them to ban circuses with animals in your county and state! Some cities like SanFrancisco have passed a ban… a proposed bill in PA, still has not passed.
- Tweet to @NicoleFeld —executive vice president of Ringling’s parent company—tell her you don’t think animal abuse is entertainment! Urge Ringling to take ALL the animals off the road and send them to TRUE sanctuaries.
*Ringling is planning to phase out elephant performances, due to public outcry, BUT NOT THE CAT AND OTHER ANIMAL PERFORMANCES.
Ok. I guess you got my point… if you’re still here, THANK YOU for reading. I know that it is painful to witness the suffering of animals, but if we don’t, WHO WILL?
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Elvis update.
Two Sundays ago, Elvis had her first hospice appointment. Her regular vet does not do in-home care and recommended someone who does nothing else.
When the time comes, I want Elvis to be put to sleep at home… and I want her to be comfortable with the person who does it. This is hard, because Elvis really hates new people. My plan is to get her acclimated beforehand.
Since the appointment, I’ve been two things: relived that I really liked the vet. And so, so, so smacked in the face with reality.
But she is still hanging in there! (Much to the surprise of all the doctors she has seen.) But she LOOKS better than she is… her fur is amazing, and she is still eating well and has not lost weight. Actually, she is a real pudgekins now– the steroids are making her chow down.
Paul says she is past the young-GI-Elvis phase, and is now in the too-many-pills-and-fried-peanut-butter-and-banana-sandwich phase of life.
Ok. That’s it… abrupt end. I am still working on the Arkansas GFT. When I have an update, you’ll be the first to know!
March 15, 2016 @ 9:43 pm
Thank you for having the guts to post what’s important to you. You’re right, you will NEVER be able to please everyone so why try. You’re funny and enthusiastic with a terrific sense of humor. If people don’t like you posting personal views on things they might feel uncomfortable with, that is their problem, not yours. Be true to yourself.
March 15, 2016 @ 9:46 pm
This was a great post. It takes guts to be vulnerable and write what you believe. It certainly opened my eyes to the treatment of circus animals. Thanks for the information. Give my regards to Elvis.
March 15, 2016 @ 9:50 pm
As I always tell my three sons:
“Never, ever apologize for who you are or what you believe in. It’s what makes you, you!”
And anyhow, really, in the grand scheme of life…dare I say this…compassion for and an appreciation of animal lives is far more important than learning how to make a kick ass bow. Although, thank you for that new skill, by the way!!
March 15, 2016 @ 10:16 pm
I could not agree with you more. I feel like most people don’t really “get” the cruelty. I will not take my daughter to Ringling or another circus with animals. (I do take her to one with trained dogs, but they make a point of how well the dogs are treated, and I feel like dogs can actually have a life.)
March 15, 2016 @ 10:19 pm
Good lord woman, I thought you were going to tell us you’re voting for Trump!
Anything aside from that I think is pretty delightful. Onward and upward.
And thanks for the great blog, I love every minute of your quirky self!
March 17, 2016 @ 1:18 pm
How could you not vote for The Donald? He has Huge Hands!
March 15, 2016 @ 10:23 pm
Thanks for keeping it real. Who you are is what I want, not just a 2 dimensional version on screen. It’s very good to get to know the authentic you and what you are passionate or not about. I love what you are doing for you kitty.
March 15, 2016 @ 10:24 pm
…oh and I just watched “Blackfish” for the first time and cried my heart out at the mama whale’s having their babies taken from them. I’m with you in the animal cruelty disgust camp…honestly, I don’t know about humanity sometimes. The most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen, aside from my two sons’ birth, is a whale breaching in the ocean, free and happy.
March 15, 2016 @ 10:48 pm
Authenticity is the magnet that draws your readers. Thanks for being so transparent and real, and for sharing what matters to you, even if it isn’t the central theme of your blog. I’m new to your blog, but I’m with you for the ride!
March 15, 2016 @ 10:55 pm
I love your passion!
March 15, 2016 @ 11:44 pm
I’ll just chime in with the crowd: it’s your blog, you’re generous with your time & talents to provide us with entertainment (which we are grateful for), and you are only beholden to yourself. Those who don’t like it are welcome to skim, skip, or unsubscribe. They are no concern of yours. We also understand that sometimes life gets in the way & you won’t always have time or content to post. There’s no need to be apologetic or worried. Your fans will always check in & be happy when you have time to post. Keep doing all of the good you are doing for people and animals, in big ways and small.
March 16, 2016 @ 12:40 am
What a gift this blog is. Thank you for sharing your many passions and for being an advocate for animals. They are precious and so are you. Best wishes to your sweet family.
March 16, 2016 @ 1:22 am
First of all, you are under no obligation to post anything but what YOU want to. This is your voice. Same goes for quantity. I know I’m not the only one who loves your blog and reads it any time you put up and update on facebook (thank you for that, I don’t think about blogs anymore unless they do that!) It was the day I realized I was posting on my blog for other people and not for myself that I quit and started hand-written journals, that are just for me! Just don’t do that, though. I’m personally really looking forward to seeing what the much anticipated GFT is!
Second, go Elvis! She is a rock star. Pet her for me.
March 16, 2016 @ 7:03 am
We stopped supporting the circus years ago due to the mistreatment of animals, and I feel the same way about all the orcas at SeaWorld (Blackfish is a must-see, so sad).
You can’t please everyone, but I think it is wonderful that you allow us into your life and home–my husband and I have no actual skills when it comes to remodeling our home, so I love seeing what Paul and you are up to (ending a sentence in an preposition, Gah). Thanks for the blog–I enjoy it so!
March 16, 2016 @ 9:17 am
I love your blog. I love your style. I feel like you have been a friend for many years and you give me a call every so often to catch up. Prayers for you, Paul and Elvis. I think having a beloved pet so ill is a most difficult thing to go through.
March 16, 2016 @ 10:43 am
Reading your newest post is like taking a stroll through a lush garden first thing in the morning. The air is fresh, there is dew on the leaves and flowers. This quiet, serene morning is the beginning of a day with endless possibilities. This is your mind releasing itself from the stale air of arbitrary boundaries. I cannot wait to see where the path takes you. Cheers, Ardith
March 16, 2016 @ 10:50 am
I think sometimes think there are 3 kinds of bloggers. Those enter blogging world to make money and gain freebies from companies but yet they really don’t have the literary skill to write or create interesting content. Then there are those who are so creative that blogging is just a natural new opportunity for expression of their gifts who immediately capture a following but who could care less about who follows them. And then there are those who want to challenge themselves to a new creative outlet and along the way discover they could benefit materially from blogging but ever so slowly what was once an invigorating hobby becomes a confusing burden. Therein lies the challenge of mixing a hobby and business. I read all kinds of blogs and have for years. I love them all. The peace you have with what ever kind of blog you see yourself being(if one can equate oneself with BEING a blog) is ultimately what only you can come to terms with. Whichever it is, I only ask one thing, DONT STOP because I love what and how you write….ALL of it….GFT’s, Paul, Elvis, circus animal cruelty, books, decor DYI…..you my dear are brilliant and I am happy to validate your existence!
March 16, 2016 @ 12:14 pm
I’m really glad you wrote that about the circus. Even though I couldn’t read it because animal abuse emotionally paralyzes me. I leave the protesting and out-speaking (not a word, I’m sure) to people like you who are obviously better at it than me. My tactic is to work on my inner circles using shame and ridicule. I joke, sort of, but because of people like you changes are being made 🙂 So no alientation here! But srsly, if I don’t see this GFT soon….well, I don’t know what!
Sincerely,
Antsy in my Pantsies
March 16, 2016 @ 12:48 pm
Re: Elvis
We had our cat, Toby, put to sleep at home. It was a really great decision for us. If you are interested, I have some…tips? (That just sounds so bad but I don’t know what else to call them.) My thoughts and sympathies are with you.
1. We knew it was the right time when he stopped drinking. The eating had already tapered off. Maybe it was selfish, but we gave him intravenous fluids once at the vets so we could have the weekend to come to terms with it. We scheduled it for after the weekend so we could spend the whole weekend wallowing in the joy that was Toby. (I spent a bunch of it drawing him and sculpting his head from plasticine-not to keep, but as an exercise in really being in the moment and SEEING him. The resulting “art” had no real point in itself. To this day, seven years later, I can still feel his head if I want.)
2. We set up a special table (not normally their) outside with a towel covering it that we donated to the vet afterwards. This was a GREAT decision. We don’t associate any part of the house with his actual death.
3. There were two shots. The first was a tranquilizer to knock him out. It worked pretty much instantaneously. We weren’t expecting that somehow. Say your goodbyes before this shot. Not feeling like we got to do it properly is our one regret.
4. It appeared to be really gentil and easy for him.
March 16, 2016 @ 5:58 pm
This is going to be hard to read… (fair warning)
But when it came time for my girlie, Tasha, the hardest part for me, I think, was after the tranquilizer. I’m not sure how to explain it, but even in the deepest sleep, muscles keep things … together. After the tranquilizer her face changed because it was so lax and it was really hard to see her with her mouth open and it looked to me like she was gasping or afraid even though I knew that wasn’t the case. It was really hard even though I knew that wasn’t the case. It wasn’t as bad when my boy, Sherlock, left ’cause I knew what was going to happen and held his head differently so it didn’t happen.
At home was the best decision I could make.
My heart and my tears are with you.
March 16, 2016 @ 1:33 pm
Awesome post. (Although, I think they’re all awesome.) This might be one of my favorites!
March 16, 2016 @ 2:09 pm
Victoria, I enjoy reading all your posts. And hey – thanks for keepin’ it real! I have been a supporter of getting elephants out of circuses and so now, onto the big cats. Rock on!