The VEB Review — everyone is entitled to my opinion.
For the entire life of my blog, I have struggled to post once a week… my anxiety about hitting publish on anything less than rocket science is severe.
But I have to let this anxiety go because THIS IS NOT THE NEW YORKER.
If you were confused, feel free to excuse yourself.
Today I am going to air out some random facets of my brain… If this sounds boring, go read my post about repurposed kitchen island inspiration, or Pilar Guzman’s kitchen… OR go tour this restored Philadelphia mansion.
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Even though this is my blog, and I decide when I show up, and what I say when I do… there is an awareness of the scrutiny-of-strangers, and the impossibility-of-pleasing-everyone, and the fear of inadvertently making an ass of myself through some gross failure of judgment (or just my general personality), and most of all the commandment that I NEVER BORE YOU.
Combine this with the fleeting-attention-span-of-the-internet… and also the occasional unhappiness of people who don’t like what I’ve written/feel I have failed them personally/and apparently have had an entire lifetime where everything they have ever encountered has been made specifically for their enjoyment, and my blog is their first experience otherwise.
All of this can feel complicated. Like the dance of the seven veils… but with the added requirement that I pay website-hosting fees and hope that you will follow me on Facebook and vote that you like me on Instagram… because what I write doesn’t actually matter if no one validates me in the most impersonal way possible.
The feeling of finding something special: you. A community of people who share my love of the absurd and Giant Fancy Things… has sort of left me paralyzed to NOT DISAPPOINT YOU.
Which has turned into rigidity against trying anything new. And let me tell you something— I AM AWESOME AT RIGIDITY.
Inflexibility is my happy place!
But I guess I’ve finally gained some clarity about the fact that I write free content on the internet along with 37 million other blogs… and that my that failure to write EXACTLY what every single person is expecting is not equivalent to a huge catastrophe.
It took me a while to realize this, because you people are, without exaggeration, the very best thing that has ever happened to me… even the ones who don’t like me are doing me the accidental favor of allowing me to align my Self with Oscar Wilde… Self is pleased!
Anyway. All of this is to say that once in a while, I’d like to write about some things that are frivolous/interesting/time wasting/funny/important to me, but might not be utterly absorbing to you… I would love if you would hang in here with me while I add an occasional tangent to my general rotation.
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What I’m reading:
Some Luck, Jane Smiley: the first book in a trilogy that tells the history of the last 100 years in America, through a “typical” American family… it begins in 1920, and each chapter equals one year, through 1950… I really loved it and went on to the two sequels: Early Warning, and Golden Age. Neither of which were nearly as good as the first; I barely made it through the last out of respect for the scope of the project.
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What I’m watching:
Catastrophe, a UK series… The duo who play the main characters also wrote the show which is the sort of thing I really enjoy. I thought was snappy, light, fast, and tightly written… And also full of profanity, and, uh, more profanity. So, if that’s not your thing, skip it.
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Now for the exciting part where maybe I alienate you!!
WELCOME TO MY SOAP BOX: cat lady edition.
Recently I spent a lot of time standing out in front of the stadium in Philadelphia, thinking about the ways I have cheated my own belief system.
I have actively avoided sharing here, the thing that is most important to me; because your validation and enjoyment of my blog feels good and that is hard to gamble with.
But it is time for me to be the change I wish to see in the world– people saying loudly and unapologetically:
1. Animal suffering is evil.
2. WE CAN MAKE A DIFFERENCE.
What I’m doing: protesting animals in circuses.… SO MANY countries have banned animals in circuses, but the United States continues to allow it!
Here is a great article by the Humane Society that offers a concise overview of the realities of circus animal life. (There are NO images, graphic or otherwise, so please read and share it!!)
— Did you know that circus animals spend, on average, over 90% of their lives in chains or cages? Ringling’s own records show that animals can be chained for up to 60 to 100 hours straight. — Humane Society, Join The No Circus Movement
Knowing the sad lives these wild cats are living makes me want to curl up in a ball. OR set someone on fire… The middle ground is raising awareness that these animals are CAGED FOR LIFE… (if you are a rabid cat lady like me, here is a good article dedicated to wild cats in the circus.)
And it’s not just Ringling! There are SO MANY smaller circuses! Here is a list of the top EIGHT circuses; they have ALL been cited for animal welfare violations… regulations that are impossible to enforce, and nearly meaningless.
Circus animals LIVE in small, filthy travel cages with only enough room to stand and turn around… no matter freezing cold or sweltering heat, without regard for their basic care.
We can make a difference simply by SHARING information and encouraging people to NOT support circuses or any other “entertainment” that uses animals: severely emaciated tigers perform at state fairs, gas stations that double as road side tiger attractions, and this HS football team whose mascot is a LIVE baby tiger… every year they buy a new baby tiger. What happens to the old baby? Nothing good.
This is not a life for any living being.
How to make a difference:
- SPEAK OUT! Be a voice for animals! Tell your friends and use social media to SHARE INFORMATION!
- Read and sign petitions… it really does make a difference. *see below… (here are a few to start: petition Congress: End Wild Animals in Circuses, ask Ringling to retire all animals, petition to end HS mascot cub tradition)
- If the circus is coming to your town: start a conversation on your town’s social media pages. Comment on the circus’s facebook page asking them to stop using animals and send them to accredited sanctuaries!
- Write or tweet to the circus’s sponsors.
- Find a protest. (Philadelphia has TWO more circuses just in May! Protest here and here)
- Organize a protest.
- Write to your representatives to tell them you want them to ban circuses with animals in your county and state! Some cities like SanFrancisco have passed a ban… a proposed bill in PA, still has not passed.
- Tweet to @NicoleFeld —executive vice president of Ringling’s parent company—tell her you don’t think animal abuse is entertainment! Urge Ringling to take ALL the animals off the road and send them to TRUE sanctuaries.
*Ringling is planning to phase out elephant performances, due to public outcry, BUT NOT THE CAT AND OTHER ANIMAL PERFORMANCES.
Ok. I guess you got my point… if you’re still here, THANK YOU for reading. I know that it is painful to witness the suffering of animals, but if we don’t, WHO WILL?
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Elvis update.
Two Sundays ago, Elvis had her first hospice appointment. Her regular vet does not do in-home care and recommended someone who does nothing else.
When the time comes, I want Elvis to be put to sleep at home… and I want her to be comfortable with the person who does it. This is hard, because Elvis really hates new people. My plan is to get her acclimated beforehand.
Since the appointment, I’ve been two things: relived that I really liked the vet. And so, so, so smacked in the face with reality.
But she is still hanging in there! (Much to the surprise of all the doctors she has seen.) But she LOOKS better than she is… her fur is amazing, and she is still eating well and has not lost weight. Actually, she is a real pudgekins now– the steroids are making her chow down.
Paul says she is past the young-GI-Elvis phase, and is now in the too-many-pills-and-fried-peanut-butter-and-banana-sandwich phase of life.
Ok. That’s it… abrupt end. I am still working on the Arkansas GFT. When I have an update, you’ll be the first to know!
March 15, 2016 @ 3:51 pm
I AGREE about animals in cages. Feel the same way about birds in birdcages…they were born to fly!
March 15, 2016 @ 4:09 pm
Thanks for all of it – your hilarious writing, your fabulous reno, your pretty dancing, your cat loving, and your collector nature. I send your posts on – I hope that makes you happy. AND I signed all petitions re wild animals should not be in captivity for entertainment. Now awaiting the inevitable massive influx of other petitions for good causes!
March 15, 2016 @ 4:18 pm
I love any/everything you writ! I, too, loved “Catastrophe”…I was disappointed when I got to the end of the season. Please tell me there will be more! And I laughed out loud at Paul’s assessment of Elvis’ current stage of life. Too funny!
March 15, 2016 @ 4:21 pm
I love reading your blogs – and like so many others, I am anticipating whatever you choose to write. Your view is nicely different then my “oh so middle class, small town” outlook. I say nicely because variety is the spice of life and what makes us all invaluable to one another. Keep it up!!!! Having had numerous pets of my own and knowing we generally outlive our friends with fur, my heart breaks for you and Elvis. Can’t imagine knowing where the story is going. You are in my prayers.
March 15, 2016 @ 4:42 pm
Thank you. I started boycotting zoos, circuses and other places/events where wild animals are held in captivity after I watched Blackfish. I was glad to sign all the petitions you linked to – thank you. And I love your blog- you are hilarious!
March 15, 2016 @ 4:44 pm
PLEASE, do not EVER think you need to post more often than when you have something to say.
In the past, I “followed” bloggers who thought they had to post every day. Within two or three months, it was apparent that they really didn’t have something to say every day and were publishing out of “desperation.”
Since I was interested in maybe a single post every two or three weeks, I stopped following them — they were wasting my time.
On the other hand, when I get an email or a Facebook notification that you’ve posted, it’s more like this: “Dave! Victoria Elizabeth Barnes has a new post!” And, yes, I always use your full name. And, yes, Dave has to come into my office while I read your latest in, what I hope is, your attitude.
As for the readers who think you should post specifically for them, try picturing them as the buyers on any HGTV real estate program: they walk into a home and think the current owners should have decorated to their taste. As often as I’ve seen this, the arrogance still surprises me.
Bottom line: do what makes YOU happy. Don’t worry about the rest of us.
March 15, 2016 @ 4:49 pm
I haven’t read all the comments. Perhaps I’m the 129th person/fan/friend to say this, but I would miss your posts so very much. No matter when, no matter the subject, no matter what, it would be a loss. I’ve never read comments from anyone who doesn’t like you. If indeed there such a person exists, he needs to go away, find someone who better suits him. I couldn’t be friends with such a person. As I can’t relate to people who don’t get Seinfeld. Leave me be if you don’t get the life saving humor. In case it is meaningful to you, sail on Queen Victoria. Your subjects await. No matter how long it takes. We are patient people and we love you.
March 15, 2016 @ 4:51 pm
I totally enjoy your spirit,which comes through so beautifully in your blog. Write about whatever you like, whatever or whomever you love, and whatever you feel strongly about. Those of us who look forward to your posts will always be here for you, and share with others. Wishing you peaceful times with Elvis in this stage of her life, which Paul described so aptly. I have been where you are going with a beautiful cat named Star, and you are doing a wonderful thing for Elvis.
March 15, 2016 @ 4:58 pm
Thank you for sharing. I have never been to a circus and thanks to you I never will if they have animals. It was disturbing to see but important to know about. I will these petitions. Lastly, no pressure, but reading this blog is something I do look forward to weekly. I always appreciate you!
March 15, 2016 @ 5:02 pm
Peeee-shaaahhh on the party poopers and pessimistic critics. To paraphrase Teddy Roosevelt, it is not the critic who counts; not the person who points out how the strong person stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the woman who is actually in the arena, the one who bears her soul in cyberspace, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and paint and cat hair; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short on a few extremely rare occasions, because there is no effort without error and an emergency call to Paul; but who does actually strive to do the deeds, to uncover the ultimate Craigslist treasures, to craft the unique, delicious tale that tickles funny bones and touches hearts; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends herself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if she fails, at least fails while daring greatly, that her place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat. Sincere thanks, Victoria, for sharing your stories and yourself with the rest of us flawed humans out here. Stay true to yourself.
March 15, 2016 @ 5:13 pm
I’m with you entirely on this. To my shame, I haven’t done much to help stop circuses using animals but your links are fantastic and I will now add to what I hope is an ever-growing chorus protesting this insanity.
You’re a good woman. Big hugs to Elvis.
March 15, 2016 @ 5:23 pm
Please tangent away!
When I was a kid and went to the circus I loved it…for the first time or two and then I realized what kind of lives the poor animals had. It all became creepy (not to even mention the clowns) and then angered me. I hope the day will come when there are NO circuses, caged bears, or anywhere a wild animal is abused. The elephant refuge in Tennessee gives me great hope for other animals.
March 15, 2016 @ 5:28 pm
To use a tired phrase…. You Go Girl! Seriously, it is *your* blog, and we come here to absorb what you have to say, in the delicious way you write about it! If there is a topic that someone is not interested in, they can feel free to skip that day. I love hearing about your renovations, your hunt for GFTs, your little buddy Elvis (my heart feels for you), and yes…. circus animal abuse, too. Because I love the way you write, the way you present things – and therefore this is a great place for me to learn something new, too. So write about whatever you are passionate about – GFTs, Area 51, huckleberries, whatever – you won’t lose me as a reader. And you need not fret. Happy Blogging, and thank you for being you (and not somebody else, cuz there’s another blog for that!)
March 15, 2016 @ 5:41 pm
Actually, I saw your post on Instagram about the cats, and it made me reflect on my life a little. I refuse to go to Zoos, especially if they keep elephants, because I believe that they shouldn’t be kept in captivity like that. My cousin is a lion tamer, and used to work in Vegas, and she advocates for the keeping of wild animals for reproduction and extinction reasons. While I feel her passion, I believe it can be done better. Just like the killing of animals for human consumption can be done better. Keep on marching. Keep on educating. Keep on dreaming of BFTs.
March 15, 2016 @ 5:44 pm
You know what Victoria? I admire you even more now…proud of you. You go on being you and don’t think about what others’ might think about you or your beliefs, thoughts and desires…cause it’s great seeing you being you. <3 . Love to Elvis too 🙂
March 15, 2016 @ 5:48 pm
VEB:
Love you and your family, and your blog. Do you. I believe that one of the things that makes life interesting is that we are all not cookie cutter. Your unique perspective (crazy in a good way) brings a great amount of joy to soooo many people. Continue to pursue your passions; it makes a life fulfilled. Oh, and just in case this leads you to an encounter with the less than fabulous and/or enlightened, keep a stash of bail $$$.
March 15, 2016 @ 6:14 pm
I don’t go to the circus anymore if they have animals in it. Look at the Cirque de Soleil and tell me you can’t be wonderfully successful without the lion tamer! If the animals had really good lives, I wouldn’t have an issue. But it’s just not the case, sadly. Glad to know you are a well-rounded person who does exist outside of the GFT zone!
Amazingly generous that you are sharing your journey with Elvis. I hate that its happening to you, and especially to her. I hope she just goes to take a nap one day (not too soon) and saves you the pain of having to make that final choice. But if you do have to make it, you are doing it the best way you can and you will know when it’s right. You’ll have the strength for Elvis, because that’s another gift she’s given you!
March 15, 2016 @ 6:17 pm
I thought I could not possibly love what you write, and who you are, more. But after this post, I do.
March 15, 2016 @ 6:18 pm
Hello!
Thank you for sharing your passion for the plight of big cats, I love reading what you write and even more now! I am leaving my first comment to thank you.
The Internet + caring people will stop the abuse and terrible suffering that many people inflict on animals. Awareness is growing, but I wish it was faster, so much suffering and I do not understand how a person can treat other living beings so terribly. Factory farming, the fur and leather industry, dog & cat meat in the far east, live animal transport, dolphin and whale (cetaceans) captivity, research animals, poaching both live animals & birds and products, habitat loss, industrial fishing…. the list goes on and on….. Awareness is growing, voices are being heard, changes are happening but that does not ease the suffering of each animal right now… Kindness for Animals is important. Thank you for being brave and stepping out and giving voice.
I am glad that Elvis is still able to enjoy her life with you and Paul, and I hope that continues for a long while….
Thank you for being brave, I am not yet brave enough to leave my website, but I do have a FB page called Kindness for Animals that I use when I have the strength. https://www.facebook.com/KindnessToAnimals
March 15, 2016 @ 7:32 pm
I am humbled and grateful for comments like yours… Thank you for sharing your FB page, and for facing all of these terrible atrocities to animals.
xoxo
March 15, 2016 @ 10:55 pm
Thank you, the first step to stop the cruelty is by facing it, terrible as it it. Thank you for writing about it, from the comments I read, some eyes were opened. Change is coming!
March 15, 2016 @ 6:21 pm
I have a hard time imagining anyone who wouldn’t like you. I enjoy your blog no matter what your subject matter. I am so sad about Elvis. I have been in your position several times. It is such a struggle. Saying a prayer for all of you.