Where I’ve been: sad.
Elvis has stomach cancer.
It will be terminal.
I have been wanting to write this post since her diagnosis, but it took me a while to crawl out of the sadness cave.
Figuring out what was wrong with her took a while. Lots of vet visits. Lots of blood work. X-rays. Ultrasounds. Allergy trials. Vet specialty hospitals. Endoscopy.
The official report:
Elvis is an eleven/twelveish-year-old female cat, with large-cell, gastric lymphoma.
Her treatment is chemotherapy, with daily doses of steroids.
The hope is that the chemo will induce a period of remission… although there is no hope of curing the kind of lymphoma that she has. At some point the cancer will become resistant to the chemotherapy, and she will come out of remission.
I think that chemo seems questionable to anyone who has ever watched a human loved one endure it… but it turns out that the goal of veterinary chemotherapy is different than human chemotherapy.
In people, the goal is to completely and aggressively eradicate all of the cancer. But in animals the goal is different– the concern of preserving their quality of life is equivalent to treating the cancer.
Elvis is seeing a veterinary oncologist and she explained that people are generally surprised at how well their animals do on chemotherapy… and for the most part, I would agree.
Right now Elvis has more good days than bad days, but the bad days are a bleak reminder that the good days are just a pitstop.
Her good days make me thankful— that she is here now, and hopefully for longer… I am thankful she is responding to the treatment and tolerating it acceptably, and thankful for the doctor and the oncology nurses who are so wonderful.
This is not at all the post I wanted to write.
I’ve written 57 versions of it to try to tell you how much I love Elvis. How she is my favorite thing in the entire world. How she has the sweetest heart of anyone I know. How my satisfaction rate with her is 100%. How it is not very often you get the very best thing in the universe.
And none of the versions are right. Because they do not reach through your screen and put Elvis on your lap, so you can feel her fur; which is superior.
Or see how she drools when you pet her. Or how she likes to sleep inside your clothing— while you are wearing it.
Or the way she likes to tell you how her day was. And how she will come and stand on her hind legs so that you will pick her up.
How she believes there is never NOT room on your lap.
And how she will come up and paw the covers at your neck so you will let her under… then she purrs as loud as possible while madly kneading your arm and drooling.
Elvis is my family in every sense of the word.
August 18, 2015 @ 11:11 am
I am so sorry. I do understand. With one of our devastating kitty situations, I explained to my sister, it wasn’t that I loved him so much, it was that he loved and knew me.
August 18, 2015 @ 11:16 am
Many prayers for Elvis and your family!!!
August 18, 2015 @ 11:17 am
Hi Victoria,
I’ve been worried about you for a while and feared that something was really wrong at the Barns home. I’m so sorry to hear about Elvis. I can barely see what I’m typing through my welled up tears because I know exactly what you’re talking about. Elvis is a lucky girl to have you and Paul to love and help her through this. I’ll be thinking of you all and hope that she can live the rest of her life without discomfort.
Hugs,
Edith
Edith
August 18, 2015 @ 11:20 am
I so understand! I just lost my cat, Moses on July 5th. He was the best pet ever! I miss him so very much. Enjoy your time with your sweet kitty.
August 18, 2015 @ 11:21 am
I feel for you. Lost my Fur-baby this past May 2015. It takes awhile for the “missing” sadness to stop. Fortunately, you’re young enough to start over. I’m in my 70s, so its not possible, besides I can’t go through it again.
September 17, 2015 @ 2:40 pm
It’s been 4 months. I’m still weepy at the strangest times. I see that you and Elvis are doing your best to continue with your love affair, more power to both of you. My husband & I have finally stopped looking for Pugsly when we do things that always included him. Sadness is still hanging on, but has finally ebbed in its intensity.
My best wishes to you and Elvis. Don’t kid yourself, it will be painful, but you’ll make it through with fond memories. Love to both of you.
August 18, 2015 @ 11:22 am
Oh now I am crying, too! She is adorable and I can see why you love her so much. Our tuxedo cat, Webster lived only about that long, too and he had the most comical and quirky personality. Maybe something to do with the type of cat, or maybe just the outfits they wear that are so lovely. My sympathy to you, Victoria. XOXO
August 18, 2015 @ 11:23 am
My heart breaks for Elvis, and you! I love that cat and her human-like expressions. I hope this chemo therapy gives her a longer life than you might have expected, or that she even becomes one for the medical journals and defies the odds by surviving to live longer than any cat ever has.
We’ve all missed you, I’ll pray for sweet Elvis.
xo,
Karen
August 18, 2015 @ 11:23 am
SHE HAS A HEART-SHAPED SPOT ON HER LITTLE FACE!!!!! (ღˇ◡ˇ)
Very sorry for your pain.
August 18, 2015 @ 11:25 am
Oh Victoria I am so sorry you are having to go through this heartbreaking life event. Of course she is your family. Elvis has been blessed to have you both as her family and vice versa. The love shared will truly go on. Happily enjoy your time with her, every precious moment. I miss our two basenjis. Grief is for those left behind, Elvis will be waiting to curl up on your lap on the other side. Hugs and wishes for comfort for your sweet girl Elvis.
August 18, 2015 @ 11:26 am
So sorry to hear this, Victoria. I lost my 4 legged soul mate over a year ago and still tear up all the time. My dog was nearly 19 and I was lucky to have her as long as I have. A friend recommended a book called “Heart Dog” which I just received (from Amazon) about to to get over the loss of your canine soul mate and I’m wondering if it would help cat owners as well? Again, I know how tough it is and I completely sympathize with what you’re going through. M.
August 18, 2015 @ 11:30 am
I am so sorry that Elvis isn’t well. Your relationship with her is obviously very special (and reminds me of my relationship with my kitty Elora who passed away 2 years ago).
I love Elvis’ wonky ear :).
August 18, 2015 @ 11:30 am
Oh, man. This hits home. My vet called yesterday morning with the news that my sweet Chester has an aggressive form of oral cancer that is completely untreatable unless we remove a large chunk of his jaw. I am not willing to compromise his quality of life like that. He has 1-3 months. I can only hope that I have brought him as much joy as he has brought me. Probably not, as he sees it as my duty to cater to his every need and whim (he is a cat, after all), but I like to think that somewhere in his BFOC heart, he loves me.
My heart is with you. Get as many snuggles in as you can.
August 18, 2015 @ 11:37 am
Sorry to hear about the cancer. I love the cute little heart on Elvis’s nose.
Hey, don’t lose hope. I know it’s terminal but I follow an 12 yr old Australian Cattle Dog on Instagram who also has cancer (frankly, every single greyhound I have had, and there were many, died of cancer, there is just so much of it in dogs and cats), and it ‘s in an advanced stage in 3 organs. She has had 3 round of chemo so far and she is doing fabulously.
I hope the chemo will buy you as much of E’s life as possible.
Hugs to you both.
August 18, 2015 @ 11:41 am
I am so sad to read about Elvis, but I love your tribute to him. The love shines through, and I am happy to know that he knows that kind of love. Believe me, he KNOWS that you love him. I understand all too well this kind of heartache.
August 18, 2015 @ 11:41 am
That just sucks!
(I have two older cats as well I fear those possibilities!)
Take peace knowing your doing all you can. The pictures totally show her love for you in her eyes!
Positive thoughts and energy for you and Elvis?
August 18, 2015 @ 11:42 am
VEB, I am SO sorry to hear this. I know exactly how you feel…I’m a cat mama too and they are my family. It’s so sad and my heart goes out to you. Enjoy the good days while you can, and know that Elvis has lived a wonderful life!
August 18, 2015 @ 11:44 am
I’m so sorry to hear that 🙁 My cat’s been going through something similar and we don’t know what’s wrong with her yet other than she has a mass in her stomach. To help my own kitty’s diagnosis, can you tell me what symptoms she had that made you think something was wrong? I hope the chemo does it’s thing and you have many more years with your sweet cat.
August 18, 2015 @ 12:20 pm
ONLY intermittent vomiting… it was so random. not everyday. not her food…
knowing what I know now, I WISH I had taken her directly to the specialty vet and had an endoscopy and could have skipped all the rest… especially since you know she has a mass, I’m not sure what else the next step would be? good luck!!
August 18, 2015 @ 12:36 pm
Thank you for responding! I was afraid you’d say that 🙁 That’s been my cat’s only symptom as well…it’s been a couple years now and we finally had an ultrasound that showed a mass. But they said her blood work is fine. Now I’m worried! Going to schedule a scope asap. Thank you so much.
August 18, 2015 @ 12:46 pm
after I hit reply, I realized that you might have the option of having the mass aspirated with a needle, it’s much less expensive and not as invasive.
from now on, I will ALWAYS assume cancer until proven otherwise… Elvis’s bloodwork was fine too. xoxo
August 19, 2015 @ 7:45 am
For what it’s worth, I’ve learned never to trust bloodwork alone. Before my dog’s lymphoma was diagnosed she had bloodwork done 3 separate times, and each time the results came back “no lymphoma found”. Well, she definitely had lymphoma, and when I finally got her to the specialist he said that he was 99% sure he knew what it was going to be before doing anything else. I wish I’d taken her there back when her first symptom appeared, but my vet didn’t mention it and I didn’t really know to insist on seeing someone who specialized in this. Good luck with your kitty, I hope the mass is benign and that you have many more years with her.
August 19, 2015 @ 8:05 am
“I wish I’d taken her there back when her first symptom appeared, but my vet didn’t mention it and I didn’t really know to insist on seeing someone who specialized in this.”
THIS x 10,000… I really like my regular vet, and think she is a great doctor… but I struggle to accept the time I wasted at multiple visits to their office, when they SHOULD have sent me right to a specialist. I didn’t know any better at all and I’m upset they didn’t provide faster guidance.
August 18, 2015 @ 11:45 am
I’ve walked your path. I know thelove you must feel for her and how even though she’s still with you, the pain of losing her in the future is so great and seeps through to the good moments. The only thing that gets me through days like this are being grateful that we are given these souls to live in our earthly experience. Thank God for them because without them it’s just a chore most days. So, thank God for Elvis, for chocolate ice cream and the feel of a soft Autumn breeze.
August 18, 2015 @ 11:47 am
Our pets indeed leave “paw prints” on our hearts. I completely understand your sadness and why you have been “away” a few weeks……Elvis needed you.
What a sweet face she has with that little ♥ on her nose…… or maybe your love
for her just grew that there! Take care, enjoy every day you have her.
August 18, 2015 @ 11:53 am
I am sorry to hear about Elvis. We lost our sweet kitty to cancer in Feb. it’s so hard and my heart hurts for you.