Where I’ve been: sad.
Elvis has stomach cancer.
It will be terminal.
I have been wanting to write this post since her diagnosis, but it took me a while to crawl out of the sadness cave.
Figuring out what was wrong with her took a while. Lots of vet visits. Lots of blood work. X-rays. Ultrasounds. Allergy trials. Vet specialty hospitals. Endoscopy.
The official report:
Elvis is an eleven/twelveish-year-old female cat, with large-cell, gastric lymphoma.
Her treatment is chemotherapy, with daily doses of steroids.
The hope is that the chemo will induce a period of remission… although there is no hope of curing the kind of lymphoma that she has. At some point the cancer will become resistant to the chemotherapy, and she will come out of remission.
I think that chemo seems questionable to anyone who has ever watched a human loved one endure it… but it turns out that the goal of veterinary chemotherapy is different than human chemotherapy.
In people, the goal is to completely and aggressively eradicate all of the cancer. But in animals the goal is different– the concern of preserving their quality of life is equivalent to treating the cancer.
Elvis is seeing a veterinary oncologist and she explained that people are generally surprised at how well their animals do on chemotherapy… and for the most part, I would agree.
Right now Elvis has more good days than bad days, but the bad days are a bleak reminder that the good days are just a pitstop.
Her good days make me thankful— that she is here now, and hopefully for longer… I am thankful she is responding to the treatment and tolerating it acceptably, and thankful for the doctor and the oncology nurses who are so wonderful.
This is not at all the post I wanted to write.
I’ve written 57 versions of it to try to tell you how much I love Elvis. How she is my favorite thing in the entire world. How she has the sweetest heart of anyone I know. How my satisfaction rate with her is 100%. How it is not very often you get the very best thing in the universe.
And none of the versions are right. Because they do not reach through your screen and put Elvis on your lap, so you can feel her fur; which is superior.
Or see how she drools when you pet her. Or how she likes to sleep inside your clothing— while you are wearing it.
Or the way she likes to tell you how her day was. And how she will come and stand on her hind legs so that you will pick her up.
How she believes there is never NOT room on your lap.
And how she will come up and paw the covers at your neck so you will let her under… then she purrs as loud as possible while madly kneading your arm and drooling.
Elvis is my family in every sense of the word.
August 18, 2015 @ 10:27 am
What a lovely post and tribute. I’m so sorry that you’re both going through this. I went through it with the puppy love of my life, Star, and there just aren’t words to make it any better. I’ll keep you both in my thoughts…
August 18, 2015 @ 10:28 am
Read your post and wanted to hug you and Elvis. Pets are family if you do it right.
Hope Elvis has a long, comfortable period of remission. May the Lord keep you.
August 18, 2015 @ 10:29 am
I’m so sorry to hear about your Elvis. But she is certainly so well loved and you have given her a wonderful life. So I hope that gives you some peace as you enjoy her life.
I had to put one of my cats to sleep June 1. Only 2 weeks after giving birth to my second son. Hercules also drooled when you petted him. It still feels like he is just gone for the night, not forever. (He had been in vet care three times in May – every time I had to go to the hospital, so did he)
August 18, 2015 @ 10:30 am
I am so sorry to hear about Elvis but so glad she is still her fun self and I love the stories. Please tape her purring and then you can listen to it and play it back to her as well. She is loved and you are loved by her. Hugs, Di
August 18, 2015 @ 10:31 am
I am so very sorry to hear this. Elvis sounds very much like my own, much-adored Bella, who is the best cat I’ve ever had, out of many. I understand. I wish you many good days with Elvis, and I understand how very sad this is. I do.
Glad to see your voice again.
August 18, 2015 @ 10:31 am
I am keeping Elvis in my thoughts and hoping she has many many many more good days to take over the bad ones
August 18, 2015 @ 10:32 am
So, so sorry Elvis is sick. I love all the pictures. They show her special, loving personality.
August 18, 2015 @ 10:32 am
My heart hurts for you. You don’t need to worry about how to explain how Elvis makes you feel. Anyone who has had the privilege of having a pet companion already knows.
August 18, 2015 @ 10:32 am
Tears. I’m so sorry about Elvis. I have two cats and two dogs, and they are family too. Our chihuahua cuddles under the covers like Elvis. I hope Elvis is around for much longer.
August 18, 2015 @ 10:32 am
Oh, I am so sorry to hear this. Our two cats (Smokey and Elsie) bring us so much comfort, just as your Elvis brings you. They are truly family. My thoughts are with you.
August 18, 2015 @ 10:33 am
I am so sorry, Victoria. I lost my dog Minnie to lymphoma and my favorite cat, Mr. Sushi. He was 99% Siamese and thought he was a dog. The first night my daughter found him he slept in my arm pit. He was the greatest cat. Sounds as if Elvis is a great cat, too. Enjoy her company, and you know she loves you, too.
August 18, 2015 @ 10:34 am
Victoria, I am so sad having an idea of what you are going through. My husband of 41 years was taken by lung cancer after a 3 1/2 year struggle. I couldn’t finish your post as the tears are just pouring out. I do know what you wanted to convey about Elvis and I do understand how hard it is to verbalize the best thing in your life. I am sorry for your pain. Bless you all & most especially, Elvis.
August 18, 2015 @ 10:35 am
I am SOOO sorry about your cat being sick. It’s awful……I know (all animal lovers know). My daughter was (literally) adopted by her cat (he basically stalked her (he was a stray) and refused to leave her alone until she could take it no more and took him in. She lives paycheck to paycheck and yet spends everything she possible can to make this cat’s life amazing. Soon after “Otis” adopted my daughter he got out and was missing for 2 (agonizing) weeks – until he came home. Otis had been hit by a car and after spending money she couldn’t really afford, Otis was doing well…..until. Otis has been with my daughter for almost 2 years now – they are inseparable- he gives her everything she was missing in her life – and she gives him everything she possible can. Otis is sick, however and after many vet visits, specialty food, probiotics, etc. he is still ill. He doesn’t act like he is sick, but never the less he IS sick. She worries constantly, researches constantly, and hopefully they will find a solution. She would most definitely want you to know how much she “feels your pain”. Good luck to you and your BFF.
August 18, 2015 @ 10:35 am
Oh. Sweet Elvis. It is so so so so damned hard. Mercifully, it never gets any easier. That would be scary. That would be worse. Just this time last year it was Boswell, sweet sweet Bozzy Man. We still miss him. It was awful. But then, he at least finally felt better. And he’s in the garden. And we talk. Such love these guys give us. Always amazes me. All best =^..^=
August 18, 2015 @ 10:35 am
Pets make a space for themselves in our hearts that is exactly their size. Two cats and two dogs here; one of the cats — Hannibal by name, cannib-, re, mouse killer by trade — is the best cat I have ever had in my 64 years of cat companionship. Our love for our pets us unbounded. I wish you and Elvis many weeks and months and even years of cuddling together, and, when the time comes, a peaceful passing for E.
I love the little heart spot on her nose. May I use a picture of her in my annual Valentine’s Day post, one of which’ features is always found heart shapes? I will credit you if you wish. Thx.
August 18, 2015 @ 10:37 am
I am SO sad to hear this 🙁 I’ve always loved seeing her crooked ear. And the drool picture and the snuggling under the covers with you picture are awesome. I truly hope there is a miracle and she is with you for much, much longer.
August 18, 2015 @ 10:38 am
You are right. She’s your soul kitty. Losing her will be terrible. Having her is perfect. Nothing any of us can say will help. But, try to take care of yourself, as well as Elvis. I went through similar 6 years ago & it still hurts; not everyone will understand the depth of your loss & grief, but you are not alone & our thoughts are with you & Elvis. I send love.
E.
August 18, 2015 @ 11:03 am
Erin,
This exact comment. We love again after loss, of course, but our soul mate is never replaced in our hearts. Whether or not reincarnation is real, I’ve felt such attachment to certain animals, I have to believe that we have always been, and will always be
August 18, 2015 @ 10:40 am
I have a Sophie and a Léa and understand perfectly how you feel about Elvis… It reminds me all the other “Elvis” that were in my life : Katou, Miss Meow-Meow, Capucine, Bébé chat, Alice… and years after their passage in my life, I still miss them. What’s happening is so sad…
August 18, 2015 @ 10:41 am
You are such a beautiful writer. It is hard to read about your beloved Elvis but it is simply beautiful, I found myself smiling a little through the tears. I’m glad you and Elvis have each other right now. God bless you and your family.
August 18, 2015 @ 10:42 am
My heart breaks for you. I lost my sweet boy Locke three and a half years ago to a very aggressive oral cancer. He was 16. And, at the same time my Mom was going through chemo for her lung cancer and I assumed all the negative side effects of it in humans would transfer over. I’m glad to hear that’s not the case. In the end the vet said it wasn’t an option for the type of cancer he was diagnosed with so I was glad not to have to make that choice. It’s so hard watching your baby (because they ARE our babies) get sick and when you know they don’t feel good…. it’s heart breaking and soul crushing to be unable to “fix” it. Giving them all the attention you can, letting them know they are truly loved and comforting them when needed helps make the eventual good bye not as hard in the long run. I just wish I’d taken more photos.. I’ve never been a camera person (loathing having mine taken) but now I regret having maybe 5 pictures of my boy I can find. I would also suggest videos. And, lots and lots of snuggle time.