Where I’ve been: sad.
Elvis has stomach cancer.
It will be terminal.
I have been wanting to write this post since her diagnosis, but it took me a while to crawl out of the sadness cave.
Figuring out what was wrong with her took a while. Lots of vet visits. Lots of blood work. X-rays. Ultrasounds. Allergy trials. Vet specialty hospitals. Endoscopy.
The official report:
Elvis is an eleven/twelveish-year-old female cat, with large-cell, gastric lymphoma.
Her treatment is chemotherapy, with daily doses of steroids.
The hope is that the chemo will induce a period of remission… although there is no hope of curing the kind of lymphoma that she has. At some point the cancer will become resistant to the chemotherapy, and she will come out of remission.
I think that chemo seems questionable to anyone who has ever watched a human loved one endure it… but it turns out that the goal of veterinary chemotherapy is different than human chemotherapy.
In people, the goal is to completely and aggressively eradicate all of the cancer. But in animals the goal is different– the concern of preserving their quality of life is equivalent to treating the cancer.
Elvis is seeing a veterinary oncologist and she explained that people are generally surprised at how well their animals do on chemotherapy… and for the most part, I would agree.
Right now Elvis has more good days than bad days, but the bad days are a bleak reminder that the good days are just a pitstop.
Her good days make me thankful— that she is here now, and hopefully for longer… I am thankful she is responding to the treatment and tolerating it acceptably, and thankful for the doctor and the oncology nurses who are so wonderful.
This is not at all the post I wanted to write.
I’ve written 57 versions of it to try to tell you how much I love Elvis. How she is my favorite thing in the entire world. How she has the sweetest heart of anyone I know. How my satisfaction rate with her is 100%. How it is not very often you get the very best thing in the universe.
And none of the versions are right. Because they do not reach through your screen and put Elvis on your lap, so you can feel her fur; which is superior.
Or see how she drools when you pet her. Or how she likes to sleep inside your clothing— while you are wearing it.
Or the way she likes to tell you how her day was. And how she will come and stand on her hind legs so that you will pick her up.
How she believes there is never NOT room on your lap.
And how she will come up and paw the covers at your neck so you will let her under… then she purrs as loud as possible while madly kneading your arm and drooling.
Elvis is my family in every sense of the word.
September 2, 2015 @ 3:36 am
This breaks my heart 🙁 She looks like just the sweetest cat and I can imagine how hard this must be. When I was 11, our cat had kittens in our garage. I got to pick one from her litter to be mine. I kept the all black, only girl, and runt of the group and named her Bagheera. She was the best cat and my little girl. When I was later married, we had hit a hard time in our marriage due to my anxiety and my husband had had a work related accident and we just couldn’t support ourselves. My parents graciously had us come live with them and we lived there for the next 16 months. Baggy was still around and I just loved being with her again!! And I’m even more grateful now because not even two months after we moved out of state, Bagheera got really sick and died within a few days. I was heartbroken. She was my family, my little girl. I’m crying just thinking of her! I still miss her being at my parent’s house when we visit, and she passed 7 years ago. Enjoy all the time you get with your precious girl and hold onto those memories 🙂 I’m sure she is so happy she got to spend her life with you.
Oh, and we have our own family cat now. He is also a tuxedo (apparently i love black cats!) and is named Sirius Black. Gotta love our tux babies!
September 2, 2015 @ 10:24 am
Bless your heart and bless Elvis too. Our animals are the best part of the universe and it is so hard to let them go. It’s the one and only bad part of having an animal in your life, saying goodbye. I pray for the best for your sweet Elvis.
September 2, 2015 @ 10:36 pm
I’m so sorry to hear this news. Thank you for posting this update, though–I was worried about where you had gone and whether you were ok.
September 3, 2015 @ 12:22 am
I am so sorry.
Our Joxer had the same thing and we had him for 3+ years after his diagnosis. It was only the last few weeks that were bad. Most of that three years he was a happy, dopy cat until he left us at 17 years old.
I hope your Elvis enjoys the same. She knows she is loved.
September 4, 2015 @ 12:21 am
Thank you for explaining, so precisely, how and why a truly beloved kitty means more than can ever be explained.
September 4, 2015 @ 9:10 am
Victoria, I just spent the week reading your blog from the beginning, and let me just say I love your spirit and your story. I am so, so sad to hear about the little lady. My family has also recently dealt with chemo for a loved pet, our dog Bailey. She was on chemo for a year and a half before we lost both her, and her brother, this summer.
A small bit of advice, we found that making sure she got lots of fluids really helped prevent the bad days. It’s a simple way to make the meds even more easily tolerated.
I can’t say anything more than what others have already said, so I’ll just send you, Paul, and Elvis lots of comfort vibes and hugs.
September 5, 2015 @ 2:39 pm
Truly understandable heartbreak. Be strong for your kitty. She loves you!
September 8, 2015 @ 5:19 pm
Thinking of you and Paul and your sweet girl today.
September 10, 2015 @ 10:04 am
Thinking of you and your family.
September 13, 2015 @ 11:30 pm
Checking in and sending hugs.
September 14, 2015 @ 10:29 pm
My heart is breaking for you. I have had several furbabies “go over the rainbow bridge” and every time it feels like the life is being torn out of me. These little creatures touch us in ways unimaginable and each finds a special place in our hearts. When they leave, there is something missing. My thoughts are with you.
September 15, 2015 @ 8:56 pm
I’ve lost a cat to a brain tumor and my best friend in canine form to an attack by another dog (he was defending me and my infant daughter which just makes it even worse) and these losses are even worse than the expected loss due to old age. My heart goes out to you, and I understand the sleepless nights spent in vigle with them when they are in unimaginable pain. Enjoy those good days, and know that there are other folks out there thinking of you both.
September 17, 2015 @ 3:04 pm
Hi Victoria, Your Elvis post really meant something to me. We just lost our dear, sweet pup to lymphoma. He was only 16 months old. I’m heartbroken, still. These sweethearts just create such a huge, wonderful space in our lives. I’m wishing you comfort and best wishes for Elvis, and know that he is lucky for having you love and care for him no matter what. Best,
September 24, 2015 @ 10:45 am
This made me cry at work. I’m using ragweed as my excuse.
October 11, 2015 @ 2:30 am
I haven’t any words. I do have words but they all involve swearing at God, which likely isn’t a comfort to you.
I’m sorry, Victoria. I am so, so very sorry.
xo
Andie
October 24, 2015 @ 10:55 pm
Hello Victoria,
I’m so sorry to hear about Elvis. She looks just a sweet and loving as you describe. I recently had to let go of my sweet Miss Kitty, she was so sick, poor baby. She talked to me ALL the time and also drooled when I scratched her back. I know how much you will miss her, just enjoy every moment you have with her right now and build up those memory banks…it helps later on to play that memory tape in your head.
I wish much love and snuggles to little Elvis and healing light to warm your heart.
Sincerely,
Marcia
December 15, 2015 @ 10:44 pm
Sorry for what you guys are going through. I lost my 15 year old chihuahua, Mikey, two years ago.
September 19, 2016 @ 1:39 pm
I know this is late, but I feel your pain I had to put down my Kit in June of 2015 for colon cancer non treatable and she was suffering so. She was 15 years old and such a sweet soul. Now I just had to put my Boo down whom I had since the day she was born 11 and half years ago (not a cat but she thought she was (dog) ). It is so painful when our fur babies get sick or we lose them.
September 9, 2017 @ 10:21 am
I couldn’t understand your sentiment more. Family is family regardless of genetics. And love for our family transcends death… be kind to yourself.