Where I’ve been: sad.
Elvis has stomach cancer.
It will be terminal.
I have been wanting to write this post since her diagnosis, but it took me a while to crawl out of the sadness cave.
Figuring out what was wrong with her took a while. Lots of vet visits. Lots of blood work. X-rays. Ultrasounds. Allergy trials. Vet specialty hospitals. Endoscopy.
The official report:
Elvis is an eleven/twelveish-year-old female cat, with large-cell, gastric lymphoma.
Her treatment is chemotherapy, with daily doses of steroids.
The hope is that the chemo will induce a period of remission… although there is no hope of curing the kind of lymphoma that she has. At some point the cancer will become resistant to the chemotherapy, and she will come out of remission.
I think that chemo seems questionable to anyone who has ever watched a human loved one endure it… but it turns out that the goal of veterinary chemotherapy is different than human chemotherapy.
In people, the goal is to completely and aggressively eradicate all of the cancer. But in animals the goal is different– the concern of preserving their quality of life is equivalent to treating the cancer.
Elvis is seeing a veterinary oncologist and she explained that people are generally surprised at how well their animals do on chemotherapy… and for the most part, I would agree.
Right now Elvis has more good days than bad days, but the bad days are a bleak reminder that the good days are just a pitstop.
Her good days make me thankful— that she is here now, and hopefully for longer… I am thankful she is responding to the treatment and tolerating it acceptably, and thankful for the doctor and the oncology nurses who are so wonderful.
This is not at all the post I wanted to write.
I’ve written 57 versions of it to try to tell you how much I love Elvis. How she is my favorite thing in the entire world. How she has the sweetest heart of anyone I know. How my satisfaction rate with her is 100%. How it is not very often you get the very best thing in the universe.
And none of the versions are right. Because they do not reach through your screen and put Elvis on your lap, so you can feel her fur; which is superior.
Or see how she drools when you pet her. Or how she likes to sleep inside your clothing— while you are wearing it.
Or the way she likes to tell you how her day was. And how she will come and stand on her hind legs so that you will pick her up.
How she believes there is never NOT room on your lap.
And how she will come up and paw the covers at your neck so you will let her under… then she purrs as loud as possible while madly kneading your arm and drooling.
Elvis is my family in every sense of the word.
August 18, 2015 @ 11:54 am
I am so sad for you. I also have a tuxedo and love him completely so many know how you feel. I pray he has many good months ahead of him.
August 18, 2015 @ 11:58 am
I know I don’t know you, Victoria, but I have been in your shoes. Went through similar things with my cat Mickey. I am so sorry to hear that you and Elvis are going through this, but I am so happy for the great blessing that Elvis is in your life. I’ll definitely keep your family in my thoughts and prayers. I hope you’ll have more good days than bad.
August 18, 2015 @ 12:01 pm
I am.so sorry to hear this, Victoria. Sending hugs to you all.
August 18, 2015 @ 12:06 pm
I’m so very sorry to hear your sad news. So sorry! No other words beyond those already said.
August 18, 2015 @ 12:07 pm
So sorry to hear about Elvis! My husband and I have two little pups and feel the same about them. We will be praying for you and for her to be comfortable and have wisdom through this.
August 18, 2015 @ 12:07 pm
i actually burst into tears reading this. we have a 13-year-old cat about whom we feel the same way. i try to explain it to people, and no one really seems to get it. i can tell that you feel about elvis the way we do about ours. that she is THE perfect being, and there can’t possibly be life without her. i am seriously in denial about the fact that she can’t be with us forever. i am so, so, so sorry that elvis is going through this. but i hope you can have a few more moments of denial, where you get to pretend that she’ll be with you forever. and i hope it helps somewhat when i tell you that i know, i really know, elvis will always be the best pet there ever was, until the day you die, and that you appreciate her in a way no one else possibly could, and she you.
August 18, 2015 @ 12:13 pm
Awww, I hate to hear that Elvis is sick. I do know the heart wrenching hurt that comes along with that. I have lost two kitties in the past year. One was very sick. The other one (Ace) we don’t really know what happened to him. He was outside when we left home on a Saturday and when we came back that evening he couldn’t walk. The vet said he had a broken back but that it didn’t look like he was hit by a car so we don’t know how it happened. We discovered our neighbors don’t like cats, so it terrifies me to think they did something to him. I guess I shouldn’t make accusations. Anyway, we had to have him put down. I CRIED for days. He was my sweety. My lap kitty who was just so tender-hearted and loving and I miss him so much. With that said, I hope the treatments will let you keep Elvis around for a good long time.
August 18, 2015 @ 12:15 pm
I’m so very sorry. I’ve been where you are now, and it’s a very real grief. Your Elvis sounds like a wonderful girl. How lovely that you’ve had her in your life for all these years, and that you’ve shared (and still share) such love. May you have all grace in the living out of her life, with yours.
August 18, 2015 @ 12:17 pm
Elvis is so cute and so sweet! I used to have a cat with fur like a rabbit that also drooled when you petted her. I hope Elvis continues to have more and more good days, and that her cancer will go into remission so that she can live a long and happy life with you!
August 18, 2015 @ 12:18 pm
(( =^.^= ))
August 18, 2015 @ 12:19 pm
Oh, I am so sorry from the depths of my heart. My Merlin was diagnosed with thyroid cancer two months ago and people just don’t understand how it is possible to love a cat so much, and be so devastated…Elvis is obviously the best cat and the best creature and the best soul of all time, just like my little Merle is. I feel your pain and you are doing the right thing by treating her. They won’t last forever and it’s cruel…but our love makes us more than we are.
August 18, 2015 @ 12:22 pm
I am so sorry to hear about Elvis. She is a very special kitty, and she is lucky to have you as her momma.
August 18, 2015 @ 12:24 pm
I am so sad for you. How lucky you and Elvis have been to have found each other. Not everyone is fortunate enough to share such a special bond. Hope you and that precious girl have lots more good days…
August 18, 2015 @ 12:27 pm
My heart is breaking for you. I have loved and lost 3 cat-children in my adult life — and each time I said “There’ll never be another cat as good as this one.”
Several years ago I lost “Mitch” to kidney failure. When the diagnois came, knowing my attachment and determination, my vet recommended keeping him alive with daily subcutaneous fluid injections, as long as Mitch had quality of life. At least it would give me time to prepare myself emotionally. Each day I would hook up an IV bag of glucose, settle Mitch in my lap, and place the needle in his neck. For 20 minutes we would cuddle as he happily received the fluids. He always had a big goiter lump when it was finished, but that would be absorbed into his body over the next 24 hours.
For a year, he had good quality of life. In fact, the day of the diagnosis, he had been sedated, and rode home in my lap in a groggy stupor. But the moment I opened the car door, he spotted a squirrel and was up a tree in a flash. About 10 feet up, he sorta realized he wasn’t up to the chase, swooned, and fell out of the tree, landing on his feet cat-fashion, no worse for wear.
In his last days, he began to show he was in pain. One day he was curled on the bathroom rug as I left for work, and when I returned home, he was in the exact same position. His eyes told me it was time. When I got to the vet, my sweet vet asked me if I wanted to stay during the procedure. As much as I hated to leave Mitch alone, I said I couldn’t bear to watch his life slip away. I arranged to pick up his body the next day, and I buried him in the garden at my parents’ house. My vet sent me flowers and a sweet sympathy card.
Although my precious cat Mosby, my current “best cat ever”, is cooing and patting my leg as I write this, remembering Mitch still makes me cry.
August 18, 2015 @ 12:31 pm
This post made me cry. Not only for you and Elvis, but for me and how I would feel if something like that happened to my Zuzu. There is one more thing that you should be thankful for and I’m sure you are and just didn’t think to write it down. That is the fact that you are able to afford to treat and help Elvis like you are doing. As much as I love Zuzu, I could never afford to treat her. So I am thankful that Elvis has you…the best pet owner ever! My prayers are with you both.
August 18, 2015 @ 12:34 pm
I cried through all of your post, all of the sweet pictures of the star of your show and all of the replies describing their experiences of sadness and loss. We are powerless to hold back the end of Life, we can only prolong its joys and sorrows for a moment-large or small- but somehow I hope all of the love and caring of your followers helps carry you through a very difficult time – our thoughts are with you and Paul and your beautiful, unique friend. I wish her many more years of happy life. It is so strange to care so much about a family I will never meet, but it shows what a wonderful communicator you are to bring so many strangers into your Life as friends.
August 18, 2015 @ 12:35 pm
Oh, Victoria. I’m sitting at work with tears streaming down my face. This is a very hard journey, indeed. I hope you get the time with her that you need to be at peace with this. Much love.
August 18, 2015 @ 12:38 pm
I am so very sorry to hear about Elvis. A month ago I received similar news about Her Royal Tininess, my 10 year old 5.2 pounder. Ours was a very aggressive type. We had 2 weeks.
Enjoy every moment the treatment buys you. Love her and,laugh with her and cry for her. Know that we are all out here feeling it with the three of you. You are part of all of our families, too.
August 18, 2015 @ 12:39 pm
How awful…I am so very sorry. I am a total cat person, I understand how you feel. But, I have to tell you what really makes me sad: I’m sad for Elvis, because I don’t think you’ll be able to let her go. I’m sad for the trauma she has already gone through, and the discomfort she has and can’t communicate to you. It distresses me that we let our loved pets/family suffer because WE can’t bear to let them go peacefully, before it’s SO obvious to us and it’s beyond torture for them. I pray you’ll consider *her* and not yourself. I wish you and Elvis the best.
August 18, 2015 @ 12:44 pm
Oh, Victoria! I am so sorry and very sad. Your post just broke my heart. All my babies are furbabies so I completely and utterly understand what you are going through. We know in our heads that we will outlive our furbabies, but that doesn’t mean we accept it in our hearts. They are such special blessings that God gives to us, but it’s never long enough. You and Elvis will be in my thoughts and prayers. I have missed your posts and knew something must be wrong. Thank you for sharing with your internet family. We love you and Elvis….and Paul, too. Valerie