I am going nowhere but up… But first I need to lie here on the floor for a while.
I have to tell you that I was pretty crushed after my last post when not one single person said:
I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU ARE HOLDING A SIGN IN FRONT OF CITY HALL.
I messaged this dismay to Lara and she said—they think it’s normal for you.
Even she did not seem surprised.
You made it up to me though, because every single one of your comments were the greatest thing ever… not to mention your shared appreciation for all factions of men in uniform.
Some of you were even generous enough to offer to send the Navy SEALS… Either for variety? Or, (I suspect) because you want to keep the Marines for yourself.
So I’ve been waiting… I’ve been sitting around in my night-vision goggles and flippers, and THEY HAVE NOT SHOWN UP.
Forcing me to conclude that either you were lying, or the SEALS are less-good with directions than one might expect.
I loved your comments so much that after I read them 57 times, I forced then on Paul. I told him there would be a written exam afterwards, so he could not get away with skimming.
Some of you said things like—you look fantastic…WHERE did you get that shirt? (If you DIDN’T say that, I just wanted to bring to your attention that OTHER people said it.)
I got it at Neiman Marcus when their clearance was marked down extra, (sold out now). This is the only one I could find online. I didn’t pay nearly that much for it! But it’s good I didn’t see it until it was on sale because I would have been tempted to forgo groceries.
And on another informative note—I’ve been blogging for a year and five months. Since I only wrote about my first year, the title made sense in my head, but turned out to be misleading.
If you are a blogger who has made it to one year and are filled with hopelessness, please postpone your despair for another few months. THERE WILL BE PLENTY OF TIME FOR IT LATER.
I’m also compelled to tell you— in the interest of not joining the ranks of Anna Wintour and propagating some bullshit myth of effortless fashion and beauty— if I had to sit down in those pants for longer than five minutes, I would stab someone.
And with great vigor.
I did not even wear them into the city. I took them ON THE HANGER. Because they are that uncomfortable.
In fact, that person in the photo? That’s not me.
I understand why you might have thought it is, seeing as how this is my blog and it would be kind of weird if I posted random photos of other people. But that’s the person I’ve been hiding behind my whole life.
She’s sort of scary. And you can see that if you were mean to her, or yelled out your car window at her, she totally would not give a shit… She might kick you in the face, but probably she wouldn’t even notice you.
Anyway, September was not a good month for me and I was hardly here… On top of a complicated work project, I had some HUGE tech issues with this site.
I’ll spare us all the effort of me trying to explain something that I do not understand and you do not care about and sum it up by saying – sometimes the blog does not work.
I’ve spent ALL of my free time in to fix it. And exchanging endless emails with tech-support where essentially I write the same message again, and again, and again, and again: I’m sorry, I do not understand.
The finale came sometime last week, when my computer started crashing randomly.
And I was like– FANTASTIC.
I meant it too, because it indicated that my nervous breakdown had finally arrived and now someone would give me lithium and everything would be fine.
As much as I was looking forward to having all my meals served on a plastic tray, first I called Apple support. Then I dragged my freaking-out-self to the Genius Bar… REPEATEDLY.
I have to tell you that is is very strange to me that I am at a place in my life where ALL my problems are resolved by 19-year-old boys with patchy facial hair.
The one bright spot last week was when Hooked on Houses linked to The Kingdom Mirror.
I’m guessing you know her site already, since you’re all more-or-less hooked on houses, but if you haven’t met her, the before-and-after page is a great place to start… and for you kitchen-mad people, here’s the kitchen from Practical Magic you keep telling me about (you’re so right! I DO LOVE IT). But did you know that the entire Victorian house from that movie is a shell? I had no idea it wasn’t real.
I will love you EVEN MORE… if you share me with your friends.
October 15, 2013 @ 11:39 am
You know those Navy Seals, they could actually be there and you wouldn’t know. Do you have any extra shrubs in the yard?
October 15, 2013 @ 11:42 am
Kimberly ~Serendipity Refined
October 15, 2013 @ 11:42 am
Seriously?! Tech support sucks. Men in uniform of ANY type are wonderful…except, perhaps, for the state trooper who pulled me over last week for going (ahem), “over 65” in a 65 mph zone which has caused me to forgo a truly fabulous vintage jacket and most of the next couple of Saturday afternoons while I complete “online traffic school”…but I digress…
I haven’t been “Hooked On Houses” but likely will be by this afternoon…I’m easy that way.
I’m glad that you’re back to posting, I’ve missed you.
As an aside, I’m still wondering why NO ONE, including you, commented on your fabulous choice of necklace or your red lipstick…truly people, where would we be if we lived in a world without pearls and makeup…or, for that matter, 19 year old boys with patchy facial hair?! (as the mother of one, I have to confess, they’re often underrated) xo
October 15, 2013 @ 11:51 am
Love you darlin’. But don’t think you’re going to get away with fooling us about having escaped peplum in the post about making the shiny necklaces out of brooches. We love houses and we love your blog. Therefore we pour over pictures and words. Sometimes we read your posts several times (especially late at night when we should be sleeping). We WILL notice when you show up in a later entry wearing peplum! You can probably get away with stuff like that with Paul though.
October 15, 2013 @ 11:59 am
Please tell me in your next post you have a photo with you and your sign and the bride and groom because that would be the best thing EVER!!
You are adorable and I’m forever thankful that you put such a funny spin on all the things that make me want to cry about blogging.
October 15, 2013 @ 12:06 pm
Love your blog as always, think you have not only a way w/words, but w/life! Go baby, go! As long as you have something to say, you’ll have folks who’ll be happy to read! You look a bit skinny in your post, but I’ll forgive you–this time! I tried to buy that same top and they didn’t have it in my size. The snitty saleswoman suggested I buy TWO and sort of fit them together. Did I mention? I’m so done w/Nieman Marcus!
October 15, 2013 @ 12:55 pm
Oh, no she didn’t! I hope you were able to think of a suitably scathing put-down. Before you left the store.
October 15, 2013 @ 12:22 pm
I just hate … it when all of my parts aren’t functioning properly. But, we won’t discuss my parts.
October 15, 2013 @ 12:41 pm
I’m one of your new readers, via Julia at Hooked on Houses. And I am now not only hooked on houses, but on your good self, too. Last week I read your entire blog! Okay, I seem to have a little too much time on my hands, but I couldn’t help it. You are engaging. To echo another commenter, please protect yourself from blog burnout….a lot of us need you!
October 15, 2013 @ 12:42 pm
Ok sister, a few things 🙂 I loved your top and appreciate the fact that tall thin girls, such as yourself, could wear that and not short tea-pottish girls, like myself, could not . I say thank you for being so stylish :).
I also thought that you were very brave standing in very public spots with your sign :). I don’t know that I would have the balls to do it.
Third, I don’t think I saw the image of you photo bombing the wedding shots from your first post but I LOVE LOVE LOVE it!!!! BRILLIANT!
Don’t be discouraged when people don’t comment they way you think. You are fabulous no matter how many comments you get. 🙂
October 15, 2013 @ 12:45 pm
I’m so glad you updated, and I’m sorry you were having technical problems. Your blog looks great! No one would ever know it was giving you trouble, LOL.
October 15, 2013 @ 12:53 pm
Okay, did you have to post the pictures where you look so freakin’ fantastic again? You’re beautiful, and that top is even more lovely. I also didn’t notice the wedding photo-bombing in your other post, but I’m so glad that I notice it this time. Fantastic!
The fact that the Practical Magic house isn’t real sort of ruined my day when I found out. It seems like my whole life is a lie!
October 15, 2013 @ 1:01 pm
Excellent top, always excellent pearls, and I am TOTALLY with you on the pants of pain…I currently own only one pair that doesn’t make me want to slap someone. (Perhaps I should slap myself. Onto a treadmill.) My favorite of the tech-y breakthroughs: a little icon of your face comes up on the open blog tab on my toolbar. AWESOME.
October 15, 2013 @ 1:14 pm
The military couldn’t come to your aid because they have to keep the Tea Partiers and the regular folk from killing each other. Plus with the shutdown, they probably weren’t sure they would get left. Sometimes, no one left behind is an illusion. (ask G W Bush or any teacher for confirmation.)
I love your blog. Sometimes I have to look for it in my spam file because my computer isn’t any smarter than my phone, and I’m not as smart as either. My excuse is that I’m old.
October 15, 2013 @ 1:20 pm
I have yet to see a member of the Tea Party hurt anyone. Your hatred obfuscates your ability to live and let live. Let it go. Life is too short, my friend.
October 15, 2013 @ 1:47 pm
I hate to see political references here. I run from them whenever I can. I’m begging you!!!
October 15, 2013 @ 1:53 pm
My point precisely. It seemed odd that she chose to bring her ire to this forum. Glad you noticed.
October 15, 2013 @ 1:54 pm
P.S. Teapartiers are regular folks also. Really.
October 15, 2013 @ 5:55 pm
Tea party, liberals, far right, left , center, progressives, conservative passionate, all enjoy this site for humor, glam, inspiration, fun and no political baggage/garbage. My mother always told me ‘remember its better to arrive late than arrive ugly’. On this site, could we enjoy the site and not bring ugly?
October 15, 2013 @ 6:30 pm
Love your mother’s expression!
October 15, 2013 @ 1:15 pm
After reading your entire blog at least 3 times in less than a week, I feel like I know you
( that’s really weird isn’t it). I agree with Lara, you standing in front of city hall didn’t seem that out there for you because of your larger than life hilarious personality. I would have loved to have seen it in person. Now to your peplum top and pants, they rocked. I also was imaging that you dress like that everyday. I can’t even picture you in stretch pants when you are gardening. But I also suspect you could wear a burlap big and make it look fantastic and make me want one too.
By the way loved your shoes too!
October 15, 2013 @ 1:52 pm
If it makes you feel any better I am friends with a SEAL. I’m sure he would love nothing more than to fast rope into Philly from a Blackhawk (no need for flippers). Unfortunately, he is currently in other parts of the world doing SEAL stuff. In the mean time you’ll just have to keep on with your bad self.
October 15, 2013 @ 2:24 pm
Just love your blog. THE only one I read. More than once made my day. Don’t let numbers or anything get you down. Computers are machines, we all have to step away from media every once in a while. It isn’t the be all if we let it might become the all knowing…. A scary thing.
I have shared your writing more than once with my contractor, decorator friends, and clients.
Keep on posting.
Even though I am doing a mini project of what you are doing I love knowing that I am not alone… I don’t have a loving husband… I just have a creative contractor and an assistant here in my gallery who humors me.
Thanks for making my week.
Carolina Antique Maps & Prints
Charleston, South Carolina
October 15, 2013 @ 2:26 pm
You make me laugh, cry, and laugh until I cry!! Whenever I am have a shi….I mean crappy day, I can look at your posts and crack a smile! Keep up the good stuff! You may never know how you rescue some people at different times, but you do……..go you!!!
October 15, 2013 @ 2:35 pm
Seriously?!?!? I had no idea! I am so bummed now. 🙁
Thrilled you are back up and running. I swear we were separated at birth and I force your blog posts on my poor husband often saying “See! I am not the only one!” lol
October 15, 2013 @ 2:53 pm
“If you are a blogger who has made it to one year and are filled with hopelessness, please postpone your despair for another few months. THERE WILL BE PLENTY OF TIME FOR IT LATER.”
Thank you for that bit of encouragement!!
Omgoodness, you are so funny! I really enjoy your blog and links.
October 15, 2013 @ 3:15 pm
I loooooove your sense of humor and sometimes salty mouth! Move to NC and we’ll be besties if you want to hang out with a salty, chubby 61 yr old cool grandma! Come on!
October 15, 2013 @ 3:23 pm
If this makes you feel any better, I read the last post and thought you were nuts.
Perhaps your computer / blog woes were their way of telling you I CANNOT BELIEVE MY OWNER HELD A SIGN IN FRONT OF CITY HALL!