I hate getting presents.
It’s an extension of my fundamental hatred of surprises.
And if I want to extrapolate that to a deeper level of self-analysis: my hatred of surprises is actually a hatred of other people’s expectations.
I hate all surprises. At all times. From all people.
Unless you are giving me a kitten.
In which case, thank you. But I cannot accept it… I can only accept gifts of stray, elderly cats with medical issues.
However, since now is the time of year when we are socially obligated to participate in joyful gift-giving, and I am obligated by blogger code to speak of nothing but the holidays and how I graciously bring warmth and elegancy (not a word? Think again.) to every element… I decided to do a gift guide.
(If you’re only here for the shiny giveaway, you’d better just go ahead and scroll already.)
I sat down to write this imaginary-magical-list-of-brilliant-advice-to-simplify-your-holidays and I tried to steer STRAIGHT TOWARDS MY GOAL. But the Distraction Troll started typing about Gwyneth, and then randomly began googling vintage Christmas ads.
To get myself back on track, I crowdsourced you all for your best gift ideas… and I was overwhelmed at how great your responses were.
If you’re stuck for a suggestion, OR want a different perspective on what YOU think is a good gift, go read all the responses.
If you want a summary of the advice? Here it is:
THINK ABOUT THE GIFT FOR MORE THAN FIVE SECONDS.
Unfortunately, after reading your replies, it was clear to me that you do NOT need a gift guide… which I guess is why Gwyneth doesn’t ask her goop-readers for help… and also because NO ONE actually wants compote from berries harvested by monks in the outer reaches of the Mongolian Alps. (I made that up, and my grasp of world topography is pretty shaky so don’t make any vacation plans based on my theories.)
Anyway. I already started down this path, so here’s what I came up with before you all crushed my perception of myself as saving you from the gift-giving pit of despair.
For the cook. OR for anyone who has a refrigerator. OR for anyone who eats food:
- You use these silicone suction lid covers in place of plastic wrap. They create a seal with any bowl that has a normal rim. I use mine ALL the time. They are super practical, inexpensive, and I have never given them to anyone who already had a set… They also make a great housewarming gift.
For parents/family/loved ones:
- Digital photo frame loaded up with all of the pictures that you have on your computer.
- Transfer old home movies to digital… bonus if you make a Christmas morning highlight reel.
- A photo album/coffee table book. I made one in iPhoto a few years ago— it was fun to make and my parents LOVED it. (I made mine on my computer, but I know there are lots of places online… If you’ve used one that you are happy with, let us know in the comments?)
For a teacher:
- On behalf of all teachers everywhere, I IMPLORE you to put down the scented lotion/candles/mulling spices/Mason jar filled with bath salts.
Teachers do not need any more random crap.
- A gift card to Amazon will do just fine… I know it can feel weird to give a gift card because it places an actual dollar value on the gift, but please believe me when I tell you that your teacher would RATHER have 30, $5 gift cards RATHER than 30 mugs.
- Don’t give a gift card to one specific store…. not everyone loves Starbucks and Target.
GIVEAWAY– what? You thought I’d give you something practical?
When I saw these, I pretty much had a seizure… Like walking in on the final round of Iris Apfel and Diana Vreeland attempting to one-up each other in an earring contest adjudicated by Little Edie.
You really need to click through and see the giant fanciness that is Anna Davern’s mind… she is an Australian artist who makes all her designs by hand in her studio.
OBVIOUSLY I love the giant fanciness. But I also love the humor. And the general ridiculousness.
General ridiculousness is pretty much my fashion mantra.
Then I told myself– no. Don’t get excited. They cannot be that big.
BUT THEY ARE.
The earrings are super lightweight… and they go with EVERYTHING. There is no sweatpant that is not immediately improved by these.
So I emailed the glorious mind behind such a creation and I told her – I know these people? They are the best people on the Internet. Maybe you should give them earrings? In return I will tell them about your giant fancy designs… And she said yes.
So if you’d like these for yourself… or know someone inclined towards awesomeness, enter below. If you don’t win, or want a different pair, Anna is offering a 15% discount through Christmas if you enter code: VictoriaElizabeth.