PERSEVERANCE: the courage to ignore the obvious wisdom of turning back.
Something is happening in my life that could mean one of two things:
1. My craziness is escalating.
or
2. Elvis’s impending demise is driving me to seek excessively larger and more mentally-absorbing GFT’s* to experience a feeling other than panic and despair. (*Giant Fancy Thing)
Either way, I have found something. And I cannot unfind it. And I cannot think about anything else. And I am short many dollars.
Up until last weekend, Paul tried to overlook this new development… but eventually he ran into a problem: trying to live in blind ignorance vs the impossibility of disregarding that I am selling all of our belongings.
Months ago, I began a campaign for a new GFT. [redacted photo of new GFT]
I’m sorry that you’ll have to imagine this new item of fanciness, because I am not stupid enough to show it to you and expect everyone to respect my dibs while I try to raise funds.
The funds have been resistant and I’ve had to get creative… these are the options I’ve considered:
1. Start doing sponsored posts.
I want to write about mail-order food-delivery and mattresses EVEN LESS than you want to read about them, but I’m revisiting my motivation behind that.
All along here, I’ve been so smug… I thought: I AM SPECIAL! And, MY BLOG IS SPECIAL! But now I’m unsure WHY I thought I was so special… All I’ve been doing is passing up Craigslist cash in the form of boring you; which in retrospect just seems like laziness, poor planning, and stupidity; so basically, all of the ways I normally ruin everything.
2. Armored car heist.
This seems likely to net what I need, but given my difficulty moving the laundry from the washer to the dryer, I am uncertain of my ability to plan a detailed and time-sensitive burglary.
3. Sell everything we own.
By process of elimination, I’ve chosen this last one: empty out the house.
I started by selling things that I wasn’t attached to… and some of you are going to freak out when I tell you that I sold the card catalog… but do you know what people pay for those things?? A LOT! (I sold them both; the big one and the little one.)
But now I’ve moved on to the stage where I’m selling stuff I do have an attachment to… this fretwork bookcase is a piece of furniture I really LOVE, and getting rid of it was giving me real anxiety until Paul helped inadvertently, by giving me the wrong sales pitch.
He said something to the extent of how we should just keep the crap we have, because our current furnishings are an accurate representation of our lifestyle.
And Self was like– no. Erroneous. Some of our current furnishings are a representation of a sad person’s lifestyle… Self does not wish to be sad!
The morning I emptied out the cabinet for pickup, Paul said – is it possible you are going to regret selling this cabinet? After all, there is no guarantee you’ll get this other thing… You might just end up with an empty wall.
I said – yes. That is possible… but it is also possible that you should prepare yourself to drive to Arkansas.
Paul stood there little longer. Then he said – just to be clear, the plan is: jump out of airplane with no parachute and hope that you can BUY A PARACHUTE ON THE WAY DOWN… that doesn’t seem a little dicey to you?
I said– maybe, yes. But also maybe there is a mid-air, 24-hour, parachute shop. (They probably play disco music and serve those mini bottles of champagne.)
Although, of course since the weekend, I’ve had plenty of time to second guess myself.
But ultimately I’ve decided this: serious people need to make serious decisions. And I am nothing if not serious.
February 16, 2016 @ 10:43 am
Arkansas. Where in Arkansas? We’re not far from the Missouri/Arkansas border. Maybe we could have tea 🙂
February 16, 2016 @ 10:44 am
I totally understand where you’re coming from! When I have problems I cannot solve, I create ones that I can to help myself feel better.
I’m looking forward to the new GFT!
February 16, 2016 @ 10:46 am
I can’t help but wonder how you keep finding all of these GFTs on Craigslist in such far-away places? Of course I realize you can search wherever you want, but I spend way too much time just searching my own home area and the surrounding locations! I have made some very awesome purchases from Craigslist, including our 1884 farmhouse! Can’t wait to see your newest find!
By the way, pinecones can be year round decor. But I have to admit I was puzzled for a moment when the one photo looked like you had a pinecone head! I had to study it to realize the pinecone was hanging from the chandelier? Made me laugh over the new hairdo!
February 16, 2016 @ 11:08 am
Me too, Gusmom, I thought it was a lady with a mullet who came to see the bookcase for sale (didn’t notice the real woman in the previous shot). I also thought she was wearing pink stretch pants!
February 16, 2016 @ 10:51 am
Cancer retail therapy works. I am living proof. When I was diagnosed with cancer, my mother sprang to action, whole new wardrobe. I might die of cancer, but I was going to look fabulous doing it (a comment that went totally unappreciated by my therapist). And here we are 12+ years later 🙂 desperate times call for desperate measures. Hug that sweet Elvis and get your GFT. It’s meant to be yours.
February 16, 2016 @ 10:53 am
Sponsored posts? Yes. Of course. You do what you have to do, in defense of good aesthetics. I’m a firm believer in prostituting myself for something I really, really ‘need’. We, your devoted post-reading fans, wouldn’t even question the rationale.
February 16, 2016 @ 11:03 am
“I’m a firm believer in prostituting myself for something I really, really ‘need’. We, your devoted post-reading fans, wouldn’t even question the rationale.”
I cannot overstate my affinity for this sentence.
February 17, 2016 @ 8:02 am
Why, thank-you, my dear. I’m humbled and honored by your affinity and will continue to fight the good fight, standing in solidarity for all of us GFT hoarding whores.
February 23, 2016 @ 8:42 pm
“GFT hoarding whores” ! Oh, be still, my heart! Julie Frontera, you are a disciple! Indeed!
February 16, 2016 @ 10:56 am
This is embarrassing- but what is a GFT?
February 16, 2016 @ 11:01 am
Giant Fancy Thing… I was so carried away, I forgot to clarify!
(it’s surprisingly easy to forget that I am not just hanging out with a bunch of people who know all the inner workings of my mind.)
February 16, 2016 @ 11:04 am
Hahah- can’t wait to see it!
February 16, 2016 @ 10:57 am
I am so happy when any post you write pops up. I hate when they are short because it ends so quickly. You make me cackle! Love that. I pray you sell everything quickly and it goes faraway so you can’t imagine getting it back and this glorious item in Arkansas makes you crazy hyper happy! Please write more, even your lack of anything to write writing is funny.
February 16, 2016 @ 10:59 am
you are special and your cat is special and your husband is special and we are never bored!!!!! if you have to start doing a sponsored please please please dont stop your regular post content . i just unsubscribed to a few emails because they were more interested in sending you to their money making sites that their original posts that drew me to them were almost non exisistant anymore.love you just the way you are.
February 16, 2016 @ 10:59 am
That’s just not right! Just HOW long are we going to have to wait to see this newest prize? I would be willing to pay for that information or a sneak peek. My curiosity is sky high! Go ahead and get paid!! Your posts are hilarious. I would meet you in Arkansas to help load if you let me in on the secret! hehe
February 16, 2016 @ 11:04 am
Your posts make my day – every single one of them! As an owner of a 125 year old Victorian house, I so understand where you are coming from! Now my husband is the opposite of yours as he says “buy it” to every item I look at or “7 days without buying a chair, makes one weak!”. He is hard to control and would have our house overflowing with antiques. (plus your fans will support sponsored posts!)
February 16, 2016 @ 11:07 am
I am quite certain when the line “To thine own self be true” was written it was in the context of deciding which GFT was most direly needed. God bless you and your bless Elvis. And to add yet another quote “May the force be with you” in this GFT quest!
February 16, 2016 @ 11:09 am
oh boy! I’ve tried what you’re doing, selling the non attachment/attachment stuff off. And even though I have a brick and mortar shop where I can sell it, I’ve brought stuff in and when someone wants to buy it I say it’s not for sale yet!!!
If you can do it so can I 😀 thanks for the wonderful, inspirational post!
February 16, 2016 @ 11:11 am
Are you sure? “Armored car heist” sounded like such fun that I was going to volunteer to help….or at least supply dark colored stocking masks and gloves.
Don’t over think the whole “jumping without a parachute” thing…so far, it’s working out just fine for me. (At least that’s what I told Mr. Refined when I explained that he needed to look at the unexpected inch of ice on in our basement floor as a business opportunity. It’ll probably melt before I can convince him and we’ll probably have heat by next winter. Oh well.)
February 16, 2016 @ 11:15 am
A comment regarding the giant sugar pine cones….I spent an entire day in the Calaveras Big Tree State Park in Northern California a couple of years ago seeing many of those lovely giant pine cones laying about, coveting them, but knowing it was illegal to remove anteing from a national or state park. Upon leaving the park I realized I should look for pine cones along the side of the road and was immediately rewarded spotting some not far from the park. I grabbed three, cause odd numbers are good and put them in the trunk and drove off. Those babies were packed up and moved with us to Tennessee about 18 months ago and this past Christmas I was able to use one as my front door decorations. It’s still hanging up even though all the other Christmas decorations have long since been packed away, because I love it so. It’s coming down this weekend as I’m ready for spring.
Can’t wait to see the newest GFT and the latest in the kitchen!
February 16, 2016 @ 11:29 am
Dear Victoria — I wanted to write in response to your previous post about Elvis, but I couldn’t stop crying. It’s not just Elvis, which is bad enough, but my sweet Bandit will be 20 in April and he’s been having some issues lately and like you, I have had to come to the realization that he’snot going to live forever. It breaks my heart for both of us and our dear little companions who have been our family , confidantes and best friends for many years. Perhaps because of the impending loss, I have been thinning out items that really have no meaning. Perhaps it’s our way of recognizing what is important in life and it’s not things — it’s our relationships with other people and our pets. My son, who my entire adult life revolved around (in a very happy way — fun to see him mature and develop into a wonderful young man) died 2-1/2 years ago from pulmonary embolism, he was 35, it was very sudden. At that time I also went through a stage of purging and getting rid of what was just stuff. I know a lot of people will question how the loss of a pet could compare to losing an only child, but as you well know, our pets are also our children and the loss of Elvis and Bandit will be quite devastating. I also have a little feral kitty, Olivia, who adopted my miniature schnauzer on our walks and when the weather turned cold almost 10 years ago, I opened the door, she ran in and has been a wonderful part of our family. I also have a miniature schnauzer, Cooper, who is 6 and they will definitely help when the time comes. I have made the decision that I won’t have any more pets after Olivia and Cooper because for one thing, I simply don’t want to go through the pain of losing them and secondly, I am getting to the age where I would hate to leave them orphans and the possibility of ending up in the pound or worse. Instead I’ll donate to shelters and rescues. You are young Victoria and I’m hoping somewhere down the road you will adopt another furbaby — it won’t be Elvis, but it will be wonderful in it’s own unique way.
February 16, 2016 @ 11:33 am
I hear those mid-air parachute stores are duty-free, just like those fancy stores in the international terminal at the airport.
February 16, 2016 @ 11:42 am
Scripture says, ‘where sin increases, grace abounds (super increase) sooooooooo I believe whatever you decide to do, you will have great grace (unmerited favor). You are special, never boring, you have great favor will all of us. I very much look forward to the unfolding of this situation. Of course, this is much more than a situation…maybe ‘life change’ ?? is more reflective…not sure. Maybe this is all part of the coming of spring???
Recently I heard a pastor say that part of ‘faith’ is risk, stepping out and taking a risk. I’m thinking that in the decor world (can’t think of the really right word for this either) you are operating by ‘faith’ right now. Taking some risks, will I regret taking this action in order to move forward in my life, is all about faith right now. Trust your instincts, it will all work out. We are excited to see you ‘out on a limb’, anxiously awaiting the fruits of walking by faith.
February 16, 2016 @ 11:42 am
I am sorry but just thinking about what you would write IF you ever did a sponsored post about a mattress – my mind cannot even fathom what you would say. Love the parachute paragraph. Love the photobomb even more. Can’t wait to see what the “thing” is.
February 17, 2016 @ 8:54 pm
I’m going to agree with Terrie…if I can stop laughing. I find myself at a cross between glee and utter horror on what you could do to a ‘blurb’ about a mattress! Have these people ever read your posts? I mean seriously have they? Perhaps they are daft…or perhaps they are daft with a distorted sense of humor…or perhaps they are neither and they just got your name out of a grab-bag of people who write and describe their lives and adventures along the way…but I DO have hope that you will take up that challenge-of-the-mattress and graciously and piously -in-your-ladylike-manner take a stand on whether your like or dislike their mattresses…or whether or not you simply sleep on the floor and don’t really care..either way, I LOVE your comments and your posts and they really DO make my day brighter!! And I’m so sorry about Elvis…
Sara Teich
February 16, 2016 @ 11:48 am
Feel free to do the sponsored posts!! We’ll all keep reading, you should know that! 😀 I love when I see a new post from you pop up on my feed.
And give Elvis some head scratches from me… I lost my two cats last summer, and it was very hard. I’ve got two new loonies, but it’s not the same.
February 16, 2016 @ 12:05 pm
You must have heard my chin hit my desk in Texas when I read that you sold the card catalog 🙁 I NEEDED that! Good luck procuring funds!