Life… Roadtripping to Ohio… CHANGE OF PLANS.
First:
Hello, September.
I wish you weren’t here.
I love the beach. I love hot humid weather. I love tomatoes and basil and peaches. I love sitting on the front porch in the morning, enjoying the flowers, while drinking coffee and listening to Paul tell me what I’ve done wrong recently.
I love tank tops and flip flops and canoes and camp fires and not being freezing… the next eight months of the year are basically me just ticking off the days until spring… not awesome.
Next:
HELLO OHIO… I HOPE YOU HAVE THE GLITTER CANNONS READY.
*Insert sound effect of screeching brakes*
Turns out they (accidentally) scheduled me for Atlanta… NOT Ohio.
Last Friday I wondered: is it a little weird I haven’t heard from Country Living? I reminded myself that the fair in Rhinebeck didn’t get a set schedule until the very last minute, so I figured that was it…
But then I decided to be all professional and just CHECK… so I emailed– hey, no rush, just wondering if you have a time set for me yet? And the Country Living lady was all– ARGH!!!! I put you in Atlanta! I don’t know how I did that! I… I just… I HAVE NO IDEA.
I’m disappointed of course, but it’s the kind of mistake I live in fear of making, and I was weirdly relieved I wasn’t the one who made it.
As much as I’d like to go to Atlanta, I have a thing… blah blah blah.
If you’re near the fair in Ohio, go! (Assuming you’re into OLD STUFF, which if you are not, why are you here?) The shopping and the vendors in New York were great. AND I was pleasantly surprised that the prices weren’t too gouge-y
The historic Ohio Village looks charming… and you are guaranteed to have beautiful weather because it was rainy and freezing in Rhinebeck.
It was extra wet, and extra freezing, for me in particular, because I was so totally distracted by STUFF that I stepped directly into a VERY LARGE AND OBVIOUS puddle while wearing flip flops.
Also, apparently Country Living does not feel as I do about fall… in fact, they seem SUPER PUMPED.
Anyway… I had already written the below post, based on my plans to get to Columbus, so I’m publishing it anyway because I feel like it.
***
To make Ohio extra exciting for myself, I am roadtripping to Columbus with my dad… This past year has smacked me in the face with the fact that life is short and unpredictable.
It’s been a long while since I spent a chunk of time with just my father. Mostly I see him together with my mom; but I also talk to my mother approximately nine-million times a day, so it’s really not the same.
Infact, I almost never talk to my dad on the phone, because I am rarely struck by the desire to have a quick lunchtime conversation about Kierkegaard.
My father thinks the way to be a person is: scholarship, deep thought, academic pursuits, and opera… so he wonders who is this frivolous, animal-loving, crinoline-collecting, bookshelf-hoarding, circus-protesting pagan, who only likes Verdi and does not appreciate Der Ring des Nibelungen… (her parents must be mouth-breathing philistines who did not even try!) SAD!
HOWEVER.
My father LOVES A ROAD TRIP… I cannot overstate how he is basically a Dr. Seuss book about a man who loves road trips.
With himself!
With a friend!
With a cat!
And a hat!
In a car!
Or a van!
On a bike!
With a kite!
On top of my father’s already-inherent roadtrip excitement, ADDING to that, the opportunity to have one of his children as a captive audience for his indecipherable beliefs on the confluence of theology and philosophy… (which are actually just poorly-disguised attempts to bring us back into THE FOLD)… well… this is my father’s version of THE BEST DAY EVER.
So, if you see me in Columbus, and I look like I just stuck my finger in a light socket, it’s because I’ve spent the previous 24 hours listening to the person who sends me this sort of thing ALL OF THE TIME.
It’s fine though, because he too will look electrocuted!
Because, I AM MY FATHER… pedantic, long-winded, eager to bash you over the head with WORDS.
My father and I know words.
We have the BEST WORDS.
SO MANY WORDS.
My father and I have identical personalities… but we are not remotely living on the same planet, so sometimes it’s easy to forget that.
A short list of things my father does not care about:
Giant Fancy Things, sequins, the intersectionality of big pharma trying to kill everyone in conjunction with the bacon industry, while climate change swamps Houston and Florida and decimates islands… which we all claim to care about as long as we don’t have to DO anything about it… but what no one seems to care about AT ALL is that by the time climate change impacts America’s way of life, places in Africa will long have run out of water.
What’s that? You’d like to hear MOAR HIGHLIGHTS FROM MY LECTURE SERIES?
I’m glad you asked!!
STATINS, (cholesterol medication)– a plague perpetrated by the pharmaceutical industry, linked to everything including dementia and Parkinson’s.
Cholesterol is a waxy substance that, (among many other things,) plays a crucial role in the brain, and in the formation of neuronal connections—the vital links that underlie memory and learning.
The human body produces all the cholesterol we need… however, when we add animal cholesterol (which is not bio-identical to our own) we end up with problems.
But no worries, bro! Big pharma’s got your back! You don’t have to take care of your body! Duh! That’s for wussies! JUST TAKE THIS PILL!
But statins don’t do anything about the cholesterol you EAT… it just STOPS YOUR BODY from MAKING ITS OWN… Sounds like a solid plan!
(I’m not saying no one should take them, I’m saying that they are one of the most-prescribed drugs and let’s consider that the pharmaceutical industry has profit as its first consideration and maybe let’s not hand them out like candy.)
“We can’t understand how a drug that affects such an important pathway would not have adverse reactions,” says Ralph Edwards, former director of the World Health Organization
— Scientific American, It’s Not Dementia, It’s Your Heart Medication: Cholesterol Drugs and Memory
BUT WAIT! THERE’S MORE!
Dairy = cancer AND forcing a mother to birth baby after baby, and never letting her nurse any of them.
WHO CHOOSES THAT?
That’s not a rhetorical question… I truly need to know: WHY do humans NOT choose empathy? This BAFFLES me… there are 57,982,356 other options for every single kind of dairy product made from animal breastmilk… not to mention how the plant-based stuff WON’T GIVE YOU CANCER.
We can we can LITERALLY CHOOSE ANYTHING ELSE… anything other than pain, sadness, and a truly disgusting amount of pus, and we’re like– NAH!
Anyway! Incase you are thinking this roadtrip sounds like a terrible arthouse film about suffering and a debate team, WELL. YOU ARE WRONG.
My dad and I super know how to party, so I will also bring along the list of misspelled, misappropriated, misunderstood, words I have been collecting from Craigslist ads.
My father is literally the only other person I know who will appreciate the HILARITY of “rot iron rap around porch railings.”
Party!!!!!!!
I CANNOT WAIT.
#bestdayever
September 13, 2017 @ 12:40 pm
First time caller, long time listener.
I’m in Ohio and was hoping to catch a glimpse of you and your signature bubblegum pearls. I’m disappointed but enjoyed your post – as always. One of the hardest things about losing my dad was the realization I couldn’t make any new memories with him. Take that road trip and make some memories together.
September 13, 2017 @ 12:40 pm
Where do I start? You crack me up! You and your dad sound like a perfect trip to anywhere! Yes, the word thing… how about an ‘anteek meer’? Ya someone posted that?! I bought it! My ‘rot iron railing’ find (??) is a wonderful wall piece now despite the spelling! AND I am sure that pharmaceutical companies are hand-in-hand with the devil! I say that laughing BUT really drugs to ‘fix’ you, drugs to fix the symptoms of the drugs prescribed and so on!!! Can’t even wrap my brain around it! And STATINS…😩
As I said! Where to start?!
I look forward to your adventures in Craig’s List finds, ‘anteeking’ and your obvious sense of fun! Have a great trip with your dad! Just a little jealous!
September 13, 2017 @ 12:48 pm
I agree with your father, in his text.
September 13, 2017 @ 1:18 pm
Does your dad want to come to my lecture tonight with a debate on the ethics of big pharma? i know time’s tight, but he’d love it. haha.
September 13, 2017 @ 1:18 pm
I heard one of the statin manufacturers promoting putting children as young as 5 years old on a Statin, if they had a family history of hypercholesterolemia with cardiovascular events (heart attack, stroke). The drugs had NEVER BEEN TESTED in children, but hey, what’s the big deal?
September 13, 2017 @ 1:39 pm
Enjoy Dad while you have him❤️🚎
September 13, 2017 @ 1:56 pm
I am full with you on the dairy, statins, circus. We will have to agree to disagree about climate change and hot humid weather! I adore Fall and Winter; Summer is something to be endured.
I am somewhere between you and your Daddy on theology and music ( Not a huge Verdi fan, would like the Ring better with no singing)
I am a TOTAL road trip fanatic, though. Merely reading this makes me want to go gas up the truck….
What have you got against my beloved hometown?! Especially since you love hot, humid weather!
September 13, 2017 @ 1:58 pm
On a recent road trip through Texas (not far outside of Houston) we saw a sign that said HAY FUR SAIL. That is my favorite one to date. I really wanted to stop and check out a ‘fur sail’. Sounds luxurious.
September 13, 2017 @ 2:05 pm
You should reconsider Atlanta! It’s warmer down here.
September 13, 2017 @ 2:14 pm
Great post Victoria. Although I enjoy bright, shiny things, kittens, kitchen design, etc., I also enjoy that you aren’t afraid to tackle tough subjects!
September 13, 2017 @ 2:32 pm
I can almost forgive the CL posters with “anteek” and “rod iron” as well as bad 70s impersonators tagged as “mid-century modern” as being in a rush, trying too hard, or being distracted by binge-watching “Breaking Bad.” What I have a huge problem with are public posters such as this one, where I stopped to pick up some groceries : “Parking for Whole Foods costumers only.” I felt bad I had left my Wonder Woman boots at home. Or this one: “Misspellers of the world, UNTIE” which was oh-so-tempting in simple white lettering on a black t-shirt at an outdoor mall kiosk.
September 15, 2017 @ 7:42 am
Lesley, are you sure the saying wasn’t “Dyslexics of the world Untie”
September 13, 2017 @ 3:08 pm
When my friend was looking for a new dining room set, she said there were hardly any listed for sale
on Craigslist…so I suggest she look for a “dinning room set” and there were more “dinning room sets” on Craigslist than “dining room sets” !!!
September 21, 2017 @ 3:07 pm
This explains a lot about America.
September 13, 2017 @ 3:15 pm
Send me that list, stat! Reading rot iron or rod iron KILLS me.
September 13, 2017 @ 3:29 pm
There is no way that we as humans can control our weather. We can’t do one thing to change the weather. Climate change, global warming all a myth totally made up. One day the whole world will see this. I totally agree with you about the statins. Love your blog.
September 13, 2017 @ 6:28 pm
Charlotte, please get some education. Open up your mind and heart and realize there are SEVEN BILLION of us and counting. Wrap your head around that number. Why is it always warmer in the city than in the suburbs? Why is a parking lot hotter than a field? And I’m open enough to admit you might be right, but we are not living a healthy or sustainable existence with the way we farm, the way we destroy the land, the way we poison ourselves and everything around us, our disposable culture- remember when we used to fix things instead of throwing them out and buying a new one? Whether climate change is real or not, everyone would benefit from cleaner, kinder living.
September 14, 2017 @ 8:43 am
Carisa,
“Everyone would benefit from cleaner, kinder living”
AMEN!
Why is it s difficult to grasp?! :-/
September 15, 2017 @ 12:48 pm
You are so extreme in your denial of human effect on Climate that I suspect it might be sarchasm .
If not spend some time on utube watching the Glaciers move and melt and fall into the Sea in Chunks the size of a smallish State. Climate on our Planet is a very complex system but it is a system just like our Bodies and just like our Body we can choose to care for it,just as we care for our body with diet,exercise and avoiding the poisons of drugs,too much alcohol and especially Stress. And modern Life can be very stressful. We have become so used to living becoming ever more easy from remote controls to groceries delivered to the ability to find,compare and have shipped to our door the latest in must haves. I wish climate deniers would think of what they are leaving to their descendants. Better to err on the side of caution and take measures to slow the warming of the planet than to arrogantly accept the claims of a small minority who claim we have no affect on Climate.
Without the Polar ice caps the Planet very definitely will change and the melt is evaporating oceans of additional water into our atmosphere. That water is now feeding ever more destructive storms and increased rain. the more water up the more water down. How easy to switch from filthy oil to Wind,Sunshine and the power of the eternal ocean waves. How futile to stay with a finite,filthy energy source.
September 13, 2017 @ 3:40 pm
Boy, I just realized how dumb I am…….and that the Airstream cooler is really cool………………
September 13, 2017 @ 4:08 pm
LOL…I’m with Jennifer…
September 13, 2017 @ 4:21 pm
Make sure to tell him about “elegancy”!!
September 13, 2017 @ 4:45 pm
Love Me A Good Road Trip! Take Snacks! Thanks for the laughs. I would love your Dad, and would love to give him back too 😝
September 13, 2017 @ 5:36 pm
haha…i love rot iron rap around humour too 🙂 always tickles MY funny bone! 🙂
September 13, 2017 @ 5:51 pm
Yay! I found my people. I will gladly road trip with y’all any day. Yes, I said y’all I’m from Texas.