Goodbye, sweet Marilyn.
We put our porch kitty Marilyn, to sleep.
She was gentle and timid… a wobbly hobbly, old lady floof, who was hanging in there… but in the last month, her decline was pronounced.
She has lived on our porch, nearly since the day we got here. And over the last few years, we’ve watched her start to struggle with the stairs, then forgo them altogether.
Sweet girl was OLD OLD.
Walking was hard.
Last summer, I realized that the time she was able to live outside on her own, was coming to an end.
In previous winters, I have only brought her in when it was too cold— she has a heated box on the porch, and she LOVES being outside… but this year I brought her in as soon as the weather turned cool.
For the first time, she did not ask to go outside.
In January I thought I noticed a change in her eating— but I also thought maybe I was being paranoid… she was still so HAPPY.
She loved to have a conversation with you.
When you walked up to her, she would do this outraged squawk-greeting; like she hadn’t seen you in YEARS… and she had this head bobbing up and down that she did along with it.
But then she began having episodes of vomiting— violent and alarming, and unlike ANYTHING I’ve ever seen in a cat.
She got the tests.
We ruled out everything simple.
Her eating reduced more every day.
So then we were at the point where the next step would be determining what kind of cancer she had.
Instead, we let her be.
On her last day, if you didn’t know that she wasn’t eating, you would think she was the happiest cat in the world.
She got lots of love… especially from The Man, who was her favorite… The Man put her fuzzy blanket on his lap and held her. We had the same hospice vet for Elvis come to the house.
It was sad.
But I was grateful.
I wish this is the death I had given Elvis.
In retrospect, it seems so obvious.
At the time, it was not.
I am wiser now.
A good death is the best ending.
Minya’s kitten crew is here.
Elvis’s departure to the big concert in the sky is here.
xoxo,
VEB
ps– I just went to my Minya link and am reposting this video because kittens are the cure for sadness.
February 7, 2019 @ 12:11 pm
I’ve been a casual reader of your site for a few years but this one got me.
Congratulations!
You experienced a love that many have not. You were able to see your sweet Marilyn go from youth to old graceful lady. That day-to-day silliness is a tiny paw-sized deposit into our happiness bank, but that bill came due. Now we pay up with the happiness that we got over so many years. As the saying goes, “Don’t spend it all in one place!” Spread it out for as long as the hurt lasts. Marilyn gave you plenty to repay this debt.
There is so much that we can learn from animals.
February 7, 2019 @ 12:13 pm
I commend you for your humane decision her departure in her home where she felt loved is so tender and loving. I made the mistake with our Will,a huge mutt,to let him leave this earth naturally. I felt very guilty in 56 years of sharing home with animal buddies how many we had to put down and thought going naturally would be better. He was very low on a weekend and a Holiday so by the time we decided to use a Vet there were none available. Very awful night,I lay on the floor next to him and listened to his low moans,
I didn’t want to touch him for fear it would cause pain,finally with my body against his back I put my arms around him and hurrah he stilled immediately. I fell asleep and when I woke of course he was gone. When our Grover needed to be helped we knew to help. You are my hero Victoria,your wit,humor and gentle kindness shine in a world suffering too much cruelty. We will do better- we must
February 7, 2019 @ 12:22 pm
So sorry for your loss. She will obviously be much missed.
February 7, 2019 @ 12:34 pm
So sorry you lost your sweet Marilyn. Always remember that she was very fortunate kitty to have had you.
February 7, 2019 @ 12:36 pm
I’m sorry about Marilyn. I’m glad that she’s not in pain any longer.
The first four seconds of the Minya video really should be a gif. It’s fantastic.
February 7, 2019 @ 1:11 pm
R.I.P. Marilyn…..
February 7, 2019 @ 1:35 pm
I am so sorry for your loss and I agree with you on a good ending. I lost my Lily last week and as she purred in my arms, the vet gave her a good ending. I realized after she was gone that she had a wonderful and last week. She did a lot of her favorite things sleeping on fresh laundry, spending one whole sunny day outside on the porch (I live in Southern California) and she slept next to me every night her last week.
February 7, 2019 @ 2:25 pm
I am so sorry for you, but so glad that Marilyn had you to love her. I just got the news this morning that my nearly 15-year-old dog has lymphoma and will not live more than a few weeks longer. I am heartbroken, but your words really helped. A good death really is the best ending.
February 7, 2019 @ 2:27 pm
I’m so sorry for your loss. I know how much your cats are loved and cared for by you. She couldn’t have asked for a better kitty-momma
February 7, 2019 @ 2:35 pm
Dear Victoria,
When our cat was getting arthritic, I happened upon a product in the health food store, Newton Homoeopathics Pets Rheumatic Joint Care. At first we didn’t know how to get the drops into her. The label said by mouth or in water, and she fights like a little devil when we try to give her anything by mouth. Once I held her down while my husband administered the drops, and her struggles resulted in his giving her a significantly larger dose than the recommended three drops. But we noticed a big difference over the next day, so we were pretty sure the product worked. Finally, after she was getting worse and worse, struggling upstairs in obvious pain, we started putting two drops in her morning meal (wet food).
Now she is like another cat. She doesn’t have a lot of strength in her back legs, but she trots up and downstairs with no problems. Once when I was with her outside she ran at top speed across the lawn, did a high jump, and raced up an arborvitae. This product has made an incredible difference in how she feels. I highly recommend it.
February 7, 2019 @ 3:05 pm
I am so sorry for your loss. I remember how hard it was for you when Elvis was so ill. My heart breaks for you.
February 7, 2019 @ 3:28 pm
Oh, it never ever gets easier, and I am so sorry you had to go through it again. Marilyn was a lovey, for sure.
February 7, 2019 @ 3:35 pm
Not the story to read at school . . . on the 10-minute recess . . . with kindergartners coming back inside in two minutes. Sad. Beautiful. Loved.
February 7, 2019 @ 4:15 pm
So sorry you had to say goodbye to porch kitty, but you did all you could to make her have a happy existence. Thank goodness for photos and videos.
February 7, 2019 @ 5:10 pm
I am so sorry. It is never easy but Marilyn was loved and cared for. You did the right thing although I know you will miss her. Prayers for you and your husband.
February 7, 2019 @ 5:46 pm
I’m sorry to hear of your loss of your porch kitty. She had a happy life with you and was well-loved.
February 7, 2019 @ 9:15 pm
We have a beloved porch cat as well — this post really struck home! Thanks for sharing and enjoy the memories.
February 7, 2019 @ 9:52 pm
So sorry for the loss of your sweet Marilyn! What a beautiful one she was! A lovely post that honors her. I’m sure she felt loved and she will remain in your hearts forever. May God send His greatest blessings of comfort!
February 8, 2019 @ 2:44 am
Victoria, I just wanted to tell you: You Did Good. Our number one promise, when we take over responsibility for someone’s life is, Thou Shalt Not Suffer. And she didn’t.
There’s so much, always, one can say on the unfathomable subject of death, but none of us really know…so I will just say, with gratitude, that you did your job. And probably no one wants to post about such things, but every word you write on the subject of animals is at the very least as well-chosen as each object in your house.
Love from us four girls, me and my three daughters.
February 8, 2019 @ 7:30 am
you are the best for loving your kitties as you do. xoxoxo