A box of (foster) kittens.
To address how much I miss Elvis, I have two separate and conflicting emotions:
1. Now is a good time to foster because I will never love again/my heart is stone/I will not get attached.
OR
2. Go immediately and get a forever cat… if I get a small/lady/tuxedo cat then she will be 1% like Elvis and then I will only be 99% full of sadness.
I’m not sure if these are “right” decisions that I’m “ready ” for… I suspect that much of my rush has to do with avoiding dealing with Elvis being gone.
I have always prefered creating one disaster to ignore another… and when I suggest to Self that we sit quietly in reflective contemplation, Self is like – no thanks.
Either way, it’s still a fact that we have a home to give.
Way back when we originally got Elvis, I had not planned that she would be our only cat… I assumed I would foster too, until it turned out that Elvis HATES other cats.
I even brought home kittens, and Elvis hated them too.
Paul and I were embarrassed for her… I mean, who hates kittens?
If I had been less bonded to Elvis, I might have insisted that she deal with it and understand that she didn’t get to be the only homeless cat I took in… but I had an older cat once whose entire personality changed when we introduced a younger cat, and he never recovered.
The idea of turning Elvis/my favorite being/into an unhappy rage maniac… was impossible.
So I helped in ways that didn’t upset Elvis.
On Saturday, Paul and I went over to one of the busiest shelters in Philadelphia (read: kill shelter with limited resources and huge demand for intake).
Paul was hesitant, his feeling was – you have been comatose for days, are you sure this isn’t just going to be even MORE upsetting?
I think there was also an element of — cats are the ONLY thing you’ve thought of for over a year… can we wait a minute before jumping back into that pool?
But I guess he also wasn’t comfortable being the person who refused to take me to do the one thing I said I must do.
At this shelter, you have to fill out an application to even open a cage/pet a cat you like, and as I was doing that, I thought – well I might as well apply to also be a foster. Just, you know, to cover all of the bases.
Then the application woman said – if you are interested in being a foster, I would love to show you some of the cats who are “time stamped” for tonight.
So now we are fostering Berla. (I don’t know what that name is from or means) but Paul has been calling her Bigfoot, because she is polydactyl.
She is basically a malnourished bag of bones, but she is a VERY sweet cat, which is surprising for how poorly she’s been treated by humans! She’s calm and friendly… and has been eating like a machine. She uses her litter box perfectly, AND uses the scratch pad LIKE A CHAMP. Overall, she is an excellent houseguest!
She would have been killed only because she has an upper respiratory infection. She is getting medicine, (which she does not love taking, but I am now a cat-medication-giving-rockstar. So we are a good pair.) Her breathing is better already, and even her fur is looking better… I think with some time it will fill in and she will look much spiffier.
I do not think I will fall in love with her, but she will be a wonderful cat for someone and I am so thankful we are able to give her a home while she waits for her forever people.
You cannot change the world,
but you CAN change ONE animal’s whole world!
Adopt don’t shop!
Each year, approximately 2.7 million animals are destroyed in shelters, (1.2 million dogs and 1.4 million cats) JUST in the United States (source, ASPCA)… these animals sit in lonely cages and are eventually put to death because there are simply too many animals and not enough homes… why buy from a breeder or pet store when you could save an animal’s life!
Please don’t have your animal have babies!
If you would like to experience baby animals, foster them! You get the experience, AND you are helping animals! You house them and socialize them and play with them and LOVE THEM until they are old enough to be fixed and go to their forever home!
PLEASE!!! spay and neuter your pets!
Even if they are indoor animals, they can still get out, get lost, and add to overpopulation.
If you notice stray cats in your neighborhood, PLEASE consider TNR-ing them. It’s easy to identify male cats who are not fixed because they will go around spraying on their walkabout… a TNR program can help you trap these animals, have them fixed, and then return them to their territory.
Consider being a foster home for an older animal.
Lots of dogs and cats need a place to recuperate from an injury or illness, or maybe they are just overwhelmed at the shelter and doing poorly. Temporarily taking an animal into your home can save their life! And you open up cage space for the shelter to take in another animal in need.
There are even lots of ways you can get involved that don’t require you to have animals in your home:
1. Volunteer at your local shelter— walk dogs, play with cats… giving the animals human interaction helps keep them receptive to new people and helps keep them from going stir crazy!
2. Collect supplies… shelters are ALWAYS in need of any supplies you can donate. You can ask your shelter for a list of needs.
Host an adoption event.
According to the American Veterinary Medical Association, 40% of pet owners learned about their pet through word of mouth… essentially, just putting animals IN FRONT OF PEOPLE makes them want to adopt!
Think about places where you can raise awareness– work, gym, local coffee shop… get creative! This is TRULY effective!
To find a shelter, start with Google… but sometimes small, volunteer-based organizations are not web-savvy! So searching on Facebook, or Petfinder can also be a good start.
You can even help without ever meeting animals– raise awareness:
1. about the importance of spay/neuter, the value of fostering, trap-neuter-return, and choosing shelters over breeders/pet stores.
2. and also:
GIVING AWAY FREE ANIMALS IS A BAD IDEA!
Initially I tried to write why, but the urls of these articles pretty much sum it up:
man-charged-with-torturing-and-killing-pets-he-adopted-from-craigslist.html
Kittens-bought-Craigslist-stomped-death-kill-room-man-says-hurt-angry-world.html
man-who-tortured-dismembered-dogs-he-got-on-craigslist-gets
If none of those seem like good reasons to be careful who you give an animal to, here are more:
- Cats, kittens, small dogs, rabbits, etc. are used as bait in dogfighting rings. (National Geographic. *NO graphic images.)
- Used in “crush” fetish videos… which is exactly what it sounds like (care2.org… *NO graphic or upsetting images, just a report on a successful and unprecedented prosecution!)
PLEASE go the extra mile when rehoming a pet! PLEASE check out the credentials and housing for your pet to ensure they are going to a truly safe and loving home.
***
I know at this point you are like: WHERE IS THE BOX OF KITTENS I WAS PROMISED?
So here you go.
After we came home with Berla. I felt good about that!
But you know what I didn’t feel good about? I didn’t help any kittens. Who doesn’t help kittens??
In the moment/at the shelter, I wasn’t sure if I wanted kittens. I thought they might make me sadder/miss Elvis more/generally contribute to the feeling of life-isn’t-fair.
But by the time we got home I realized I had made a mistake — the day I don’t have room in my heart for kittens is a day of doom and armageddon… so I had to make a second trip.
Have I gone overboard? Probably… it’s what I do. I don’t know any other way to function.
It is officially kitten season… which means that in any given week, a busy shelter can EASILY take in a HUNDRED kittens and pregnant cats.
THAT IS A LOT OF KITTENS.
If you are able to provide a foster home, you are giving these animals a chance to get big enough to be adopted. AND (incase this is not obvious) YOU GET KITTENS.
Here is some video for you. ***TURN UP YOUR VOLUME TO HEAR THEM**
P.S.– I switched video hosts, because the other one was getting expensive! You might get a comercial now. Sorry! When I re-evaluated my expense-priorities: making-my-site-fancy-for-internet-people VS. cats… the cats won.
August 17, 2016 @ 10:52 am
You will live to love another purr! I promise!! We lost our beloved “Psycho” kitty after 21 years of feline parentdom. I, like you, was crushed. I waited and waited for the heartache to subside, but always felt as if I was betraying her when I looked at other kitties. Then my husband found and shared with me a poem he found from another grieving pet owner (that of course I can’t find now… ) that basically said the best tribute you can give a beloved pet is to share that love with other animals who have never or would never experience any. Here I am three years later and I’m Mom to two spoiled rotten gray bundles of fluff. I still miss Psych’, but now know how lucky these gals are to share her home and love. And despite my initial belief, I still have love to give!! Don’t procrastinate…Elvis wouldn’t want it. She knows how many cat years could be spent honoring her with loving another (or others!). I’ve cried with understanding through all your Elvis posts and as I type, I know you’ll lavish love on many love hungry kitties in your life. That’s who we are…. I recognize you! ?
August 17, 2016 @ 10:52 am
Thank you.
August 17, 2016 @ 10:52 am
<3
August 17, 2016 @ 10:53 am
Yes, to everything you said! I’m happy your sadness is motivating you to help cats/kittens that need it so badly.
August 17, 2016 @ 10:56 am
Adopt them all. None of them will replace Elvis but you will love them anyway. We have 4 rescue dogs and 2 rescue dogs. Life is good.
August 17, 2016 @ 10:58 am
Last Sunday there was an article in the WSJ about Cats.
Even though I am a Cat Owner (multiple times) of cat pairs, assuming that they needed and appreciated the company of another feline while we are gone for long stretches (work-school-play), I was somewhat surprised to read that cats really don’t want to share their space with ANY other animal. It stresses them out big time. The domestic cat is a solitary predator and doesn’t hang with other kitties the way bigger cats do.
Nonetheless. I have two kitties and will always keep them in pairs. True, our male cat REALLY doesn’t like the little female we adopted after Lily died. She annoys him, swishing her tail in his face, crowding out his food dish, following him around the yard. She doesn’t smell like Lily and doesn’t have that regal demeanor.
But. We are providing a home for two cats, not one, and making a small dent in the overcrowded shelter of our county.
So. Go for it, VEB!
You can never replace Elvis. 🙁
But you may meet another rock star someday, or even a rock group. 🙂
August 17, 2016 @ 3:33 pm
I don’t know about cats in general not liking other cats. I have friends with multiple cats, and they play together, eat together and sleep together. One friend had an older male cat. She adopted a male kitten that her neighbor had to remove. The old man loved that kitten, and grieved for months, when, sadly the kitten passed from a congenital condition.
I think it just has to be taken on a “per cat” basis.
August 17, 2016 @ 10:45 pm
If that is the information the WSJ article gave you, it is absolute nonsense. Trust your own experience with cats, not some “expert.” This is concerning if it is giving people the idea that they cannot, in most cases, happily house multiple cats, because it translates to fewer homes available to other cats.
Now, are some cats more likely to prefer being a bit solitary? Or completely disliking all other cats (a la Elvis)? Yes. Just like people there are cat introverts and cat extroverts. But in my experience, as a certified crazy cat lady, I can assure you the loners are in the minority.
I have 10 indoor-only cats, 5 indoor-outdoor cats and an outdoor-only colony that is open to any cat who shows up – 2 meals a day, warm beds, vet care and lots of love all provided willingly 🙂 . Our outdoor colony is a mixed bag of tame, semi-tame and feral cats – last count was 20. That’s about 35 cats I’m able to observe daily – and I’ve been doing this for years.
We have a large old farmhouse with plenty of room inside (3500 sq ft) so that any cat that wants private space can find it easily (no room is off-limits to them). Nonetheless, at any given moment you will find at least 6 of them sprawled on the sofa in my reading room, overlapping, snuggling, washing each other. (want proof? check out my instagram: @catbirdfarm)
Outdoors, we have a number of acres of meadows, woods, pine forest, ponds, 3 barns – a lot of room for them to spread out and be totally alone if they want to be (plus no one is keeping them here – many of these cats find us on their own (or get dumped here by their irresponsible waste-of-space former owners – yeah, people who don’t take excellent care of animals really piss me off).
Given all this space and freedom outdoors, do you know where they generally are? Together in a group! They all nap sprawled out on the warm driveway or deck or cool lawns, en masse they go for walks with me and my husband – we look like Mr and Mrs Pied Piper of Cats – and when I’m inside I see them heading off for walks in groups without us. Four, five, six, seven of them, all trotting along together out to the meadow, into the pine forest, hunting together by the pond (the poor frogs have a hard time of it), and often when one catches something, it will bring it back to share with the others. Some particular outdoor pairs are inseparable – like Po our feral matriarch, a plump calico, and Spooky, her regal all-black son – she’s 12 years old and he’s 7 and they are never more than a few feet away from each other. So the idea that “the domestic cat is a solitary predator and doesn’t hang with other kitties” is just complete and utter bollocks.
So please, if you have the space and the means, don’t limit your cat household to just one cat – open your home and heart to as many as you can. I started with one rescue cat (from a farmer’s market – he’d been used as “target practice” by some asshat farmer) and over the past 20 years it has just kept going from there. I know I’m at the extreme end, but I do it because I can. When a starved mama cat or a malnourished barely-able-to-walk kitten just “shows up,” I can’t turn them away. And I’m the winner in all this because they give me so much love and pleasure every single day. Neither my husband nor I can imagine our lives without them.
Ok, that’s my rant. Thanks to anyone who made it to the end.
–Catbird Farm
August 21, 2016 @ 1:23 am
What a lovely farm you have! I just started following you!
Thank you for providing a home for all those cats!
August 21, 2016 @ 11:20 am
Thank you, Deborah!
August 17, 2016 @ 10:59 am
You said:
“I do not think I will fall in love with her, but she will be a wonderful cat for someone and I am so thankful we are able to give her a home while she waits for her forever people.”
Lol.. You keep telling yourself that… I expect the next entry in your blog will detail how cute they all are and how you decided you couldn’t part with any of them….
I turned over a kitten I found on the street to the local shelter because hubby and I already had 4 cats and 2 dogs. Within 24 hours I was back there, frantically searching for her..and took her home. She passed last year at the ripe old age of 20..
That’s why I don’t foster.. If 1/2 day was all it took for me to fall in love with that kitten, imagine what 2 or 3 weeks will be for you..
Good luck!!
August 18, 2016 @ 5:51 pm
Yep. I found a kitten in the Walmart parking lot. Drove straight to the shelter but they were closed. I was determined to take her in first thing in the next morning. By the time I finished the 10 mile drive home, she had so charmed me, the drive turned out to be her forever home. I think even my grumpy old man cat liked her. Eventually anyway.
August 17, 2016 @ 10:59 am
I have 4 house cats, 5 makes crazy-cat-lady so you’re still good. The internet says so 😉
August 17, 2016 @ 12:30 pm
Oh! And I have a polydactyl cat – they are SO smart! And that thumb is about the Biggest, Fanciest Thing a cat could have. Ernest Hemingway had Polydactyls, so think about all the connections? Books, GFT, thumbs? Keep them ALL!
August 17, 2016 @ 11:02 am
In honor of Elvis I’ve adopted two older cats (brothers) who had been at the shelter for several months. Seems nobody wanted to adopt 2 cats but the shelter said they were so bonded that they wouldn’t separate them, so now they’ve retired to our home by the beach, with big double glass sliding doors that look out onto a patio filled with squirrels and birds. They each have their own basket, but prefer to sleep together, so somehow I know I’ve done a good thing by keeping them together. Kashmir and Hendrix want to say thank you to Elvis for inspiring me to adopt older cats.
August 17, 2016 @ 11:04 am
you made my day.
xoxoxoxoxo.
August 17, 2016 @ 10:48 pm
Thank you for doing that. The world needs more Nancy Rs.
August 17, 2016 @ 11:02 am
You are doing a wonderful work. We have five animals, three cats and two dogs. All but one dog were rescues. The three cats were found by my husband at his job, two were abandoned by their owners at 10 days old (who does that?!), one was a one day old feral kitten separated from the mother. My teenage daughter and I hand raised all three. Lots of getting up in the night, just like having a human baby! I am very proud of my daughter, and how hard she worked with the last kitten, who is now her special cat Rajah. I also TNR’d seven cats in our neighborhood, and feed the colony. It is difficult with the scheduling, and you have to be feeding them regularly. That way you can withhold food for a few days to lure them in the trap. I have to admit, the three times I did it was exhausting! Once again, kudos to you for helping foster!
August 17, 2016 @ 11:04 am
Your heart will always let you know when you’ve immediately found your next forever love. And those paws on Berla…I would have fostered her just to have those cute paws padding around my home!
Thanks for the honest posts, albeit heart wrenching. We are in the final stages with our 16 year old beloved yellow lab. When I’m at my saddest times in life, it’s good to know I’m not alone.
August 17, 2016 @ 11:05 am
You have never been more lovely, even in ginormous ear ornaments. Thank you for being so proactive in saving animals.
August 17, 2016 @ 11:05 am
Good for you, VEB, and good for the lucky cattins, too! We got our dog from Petfinder and didn’t find out until 5 years later that the so-called rescue was a nightmare. The owner of Golden S in South Carolina was charged with animal cruelty and sentenced to not operate a “shelter” for 5 years. Nice, sentence, right?! So, even if you get an animal from a reasonably reputable place, I learned you still have to do your due diligence. Our dog has high needs and because of this, we have expenses we didn’t plan on. We love him and will not relinquish him, but he has personality “issues.” Thanks for all your information on animals and your caring heart. The world needs you 😉
August 17, 2016 @ 11:06 am
The cat should always win. If they are bitterly unhappy with someone new coming in, well, think of it like this: your husband brings home a new wife for you to play with – how would YOU feel? Yeah, I thought so:)
Unless of course you are traditional Mormon and then bond beautifully. (hee-hee) Which happens sometimes.
I have had cats fall instantly in love with one another — or the established cat hates the newcomer and their is zero negotiation.
Or it takes 3 full months of them being separated and eyeballing each other through the french doors until they are finally acclimated and don’t feel threatened.
Love is love. Nobody will replace Elvis. And yet your big heart knows some other fur person needs love – and you are giving it as a foster mom.
When you are ready – or if it is the right kitten, you will fall in love all over again (albeit differently), but still with your whole heart. Hearts have infinite spaces for love, and loving one cat doesn’t mean you loved the other cat any less.
August 17, 2016 @ 11:15 am
I lover this post! So sweet! Now I want a box of kittens. 🙂
August 17, 2016 @ 11:16 am
That’s a slippery slope there missy!
We lived in an RV for nine years and had a small Shih Tzu for the entire time. We settled in Tucson last year and got involved volunteering at the shelter. A year later we have 4 dogs, 2 started as foster. It’s tough being around them and not falling.
August 17, 2016 @ 11:17 am
How crazy, the first link about the man in washington – I know the girlfriend from facebook. She was mentally abused by him, and a lot of the pets were hers.
August 17, 2016 @ 11:19 am
Though we have had multiple cats throughout our 43 years of marriage, I’d like to think that every free kitten we took in was saved from a disastrous ending. We always, always neutered and spayed them and took responsible care of them until their life ended.
I agree with the above thought…..somehow I see 4 cats in your future! You have too big of heart!
August 17, 2016 @ 11:20 am
Hell yeah I’d be calling her Big Foot! I’d also be locking my refrigerator and just about anything else she could get those fancy thumbs into. I Love her feet! They are super fancy! Pinkies Up! (And the purring kittens: that sound never gets old. Did you know black cats/dogs are the last to get adopted? Superstitious idiots!)
August 17, 2016 @ 11:21 am
Can’t stop watching the video
All the cute!!
I’m proud of you. So very,very proud.
And I’m thankful for you too!
Our sweet Oleander, who is 2ish now, was a rescue kitten.
Thank you for the cute, but even more for the awareness reminder.
You are such a doll!
Big love to you, the kittens & Bigfoot ?