A box of (foster) kittens.
To address how much I miss Elvis, I have two separate and conflicting emotions:
1. Now is a good time to foster because I will never love again/my heart is stone/I will not get attached.
OR
2. Go immediately and get a forever cat… if I get a small/lady/tuxedo cat then she will be 1% like Elvis and then I will only be 99% full of sadness.
I’m not sure if these are “right” decisions that I’m “ready ” for… I suspect that much of my rush has to do with avoiding dealing with Elvis being gone.
I have always prefered creating one disaster to ignore another… and when I suggest to Self that we sit quietly in reflective contemplation, Self is like – no thanks.
Either way, it’s still a fact that we have a home to give.
Way back when we originally got Elvis, I had not planned that she would be our only cat… I assumed I would foster too, until it turned out that Elvis HATES other cats.
I even brought home kittens, and Elvis hated them too.
Paul and I were embarrassed for her… I mean, who hates kittens?
If I had been less bonded to Elvis, I might have insisted that she deal with it and understand that she didn’t get to be the only homeless cat I took in… but I had an older cat once whose entire personality changed when we introduced a younger cat, and he never recovered.
The idea of turning Elvis/my favorite being/into an unhappy rage maniac… was impossible.
So I helped in ways that didn’t upset Elvis.
On Saturday, Paul and I went over to one of the busiest shelters in Philadelphia (read: kill shelter with limited resources and huge demand for intake).
Paul was hesitant, his feeling was – you have been comatose for days, are you sure this isn’t just going to be even MORE upsetting?
I think there was also an element of — cats are the ONLY thing you’ve thought of for over a year… can we wait a minute before jumping back into that pool?
But I guess he also wasn’t comfortable being the person who refused to take me to do the one thing I said I must do.
At this shelter, you have to fill out an application to even open a cage/pet a cat you like, and as I was doing that, I thought – well I might as well apply to also be a foster. Just, you know, to cover all of the bases.
Then the application woman said – if you are interested in being a foster, I would love to show you some of the cats who are “time stamped” for tonight.
So now we are fostering Berla. (I don’t know what that name is from or means) but Paul has been calling her Bigfoot, because she is polydactyl.
She is basically a malnourished bag of bones, but she is a VERY sweet cat, which is surprising for how poorly she’s been treated by humans! She’s calm and friendly… and has been eating like a machine. She uses her litter box perfectly, AND uses the scratch pad LIKE A CHAMP. Overall, she is an excellent houseguest!
She would have been killed only because she has an upper respiratory infection. She is getting medicine, (which she does not love taking, but I am now a cat-medication-giving-rockstar. So we are a good pair.) Her breathing is better already, and even her fur is looking better… I think with some time it will fill in and she will look much spiffier.
I do not think I will fall in love with her, but she will be a wonderful cat for someone and I am so thankful we are able to give her a home while she waits for her forever people.
You cannot change the world,
but you CAN change ONE animal’s whole world!
Adopt don’t shop!
Each year, approximately 2.7 million animals are destroyed in shelters, (1.2 million dogs and 1.4 million cats) JUST in the United States (source, ASPCA)… these animals sit in lonely cages and are eventually put to death because there are simply too many animals and not enough homes… why buy from a breeder or pet store when you could save an animal’s life!
Please don’t have your animal have babies!
If you would like to experience baby animals, foster them! You get the experience, AND you are helping animals! You house them and socialize them and play with them and LOVE THEM until they are old enough to be fixed and go to their forever home!
PLEASE!!! spay and neuter your pets!
Even if they are indoor animals, they can still get out, get lost, and add to overpopulation.
If you notice stray cats in your neighborhood, PLEASE consider TNR-ing them. It’s easy to identify male cats who are not fixed because they will go around spraying on their walkabout… a TNR program can help you trap these animals, have them fixed, and then return them to their territory.
Consider being a foster home for an older animal.
Lots of dogs and cats need a place to recuperate from an injury or illness, or maybe they are just overwhelmed at the shelter and doing poorly. Temporarily taking an animal into your home can save their life! And you open up cage space for the shelter to take in another animal in need.
There are even lots of ways you can get involved that don’t require you to have animals in your home:
1. Volunteer at your local shelter— walk dogs, play with cats… giving the animals human interaction helps keep them receptive to new people and helps keep them from going stir crazy!
2. Collect supplies… shelters are ALWAYS in need of any supplies you can donate. You can ask your shelter for a list of needs.
Host an adoption event.
According to the American Veterinary Medical Association, 40% of pet owners learned about their pet through word of mouth… essentially, just putting animals IN FRONT OF PEOPLE makes them want to adopt!
Think about places where you can raise awareness– work, gym, local coffee shop… get creative! This is TRULY effective!
To find a shelter, start with Google… but sometimes small, volunteer-based organizations are not web-savvy! So searching on Facebook, or Petfinder can also be a good start.
You can even help without ever meeting animals– raise awareness:
1. about the importance of spay/neuter, the value of fostering, trap-neuter-return, and choosing shelters over breeders/pet stores.
2. and also:
GIVING AWAY FREE ANIMALS IS A BAD IDEA!
Initially I tried to write why, but the urls of these articles pretty much sum it up:
man-charged-with-torturing-and-killing-pets-he-adopted-from-craigslist.html
Kittens-bought-Craigslist-stomped-death-kill-room-man-says-hurt-angry-world.html
man-who-tortured-dismembered-dogs-he-got-on-craigslist-gets
If none of those seem like good reasons to be careful who you give an animal to, here are more:
- Cats, kittens, small dogs, rabbits, etc. are used as bait in dogfighting rings. (National Geographic. *NO graphic images.)
- Used in “crush” fetish videos… which is exactly what it sounds like (care2.org… *NO graphic or upsetting images, just a report on a successful and unprecedented prosecution!)
PLEASE go the extra mile when rehoming a pet! PLEASE check out the credentials and housing for your pet to ensure they are going to a truly safe and loving home.
***
I know at this point you are like: WHERE IS THE BOX OF KITTENS I WAS PROMISED?
So here you go.
After we came home with Berla. I felt good about that!
But you know what I didn’t feel good about? I didn’t help any kittens. Who doesn’t help kittens??
In the moment/at the shelter, I wasn’t sure if I wanted kittens. I thought they might make me sadder/miss Elvis more/generally contribute to the feeling of life-isn’t-fair.
But by the time we got home I realized I had made a mistake — the day I don’t have room in my heart for kittens is a day of doom and armageddon… so I had to make a second trip.
Have I gone overboard? Probably… it’s what I do. I don’t know any other way to function.
It is officially kitten season… which means that in any given week, a busy shelter can EASILY take in a HUNDRED kittens and pregnant cats.
THAT IS A LOT OF KITTENS.
If you are able to provide a foster home, you are giving these animals a chance to get big enough to be adopted. AND (incase this is not obvious) YOU GET KITTENS.
Here is some video for you. ***TURN UP YOUR VOLUME TO HEAR THEM**
P.S.– I switched video hosts, because the other one was getting expensive! You might get a comercial now. Sorry! When I re-evaluated my expense-priorities: making-my-site-fancy-for-internet-people VS. cats… the cats won.
August 17, 2016 @ 11:26 am
Good for you Elizabeth — we need more people like you who can overcome their personal grief and make a huge differencef. I think you should rename Berla — TOOTSIE! I have a feeling that you are going to fall head over heels in love with her — for some reason, when a cat like Tootsie finds you, she will become a favorite! About 10 years ago, a little feral cat popped out of the bushes and walked with me and my miniature schnauzer. It didn’t take long to figure out she was a stray, so I started feeding her. I had another cat, Bandit who is not 19 1/2 years old and wasn’t interested in adding to my family. But, when the weather started to get cold and rainy, I opened the door, she ran in and has been with us since. Come to find out, she had been trapped and neutered when a kitten and returned to the streets. I definitely wasn’t looking for another cat at the time, but now I can’t think of not having her. She doesn’t like to be picked up, but otherwise is very affectionate (particularly when the weather is cold and rainy) and she loves my schnauzer and cat Bandit. Like I said, I think Tootsie found you for a reason.
August 17, 2016 @ 11:28 am
PS — I hope you keep all 4 of them — Tootsie and the Triplets! They will keep each other entertained as well as you and Paul.
August 17, 2016 @ 11:40 am
I always adopt senior cats and I always have 2. Sometimes with seniors you don’t have them very long but all of my cats know that when one goes to the rainbow bridge they have just given their spot at my house to another senior shelter cat. No senior animal should have to live out their life in a shelter. My sister takes care of adopting the senior dogs. Wonderful of you VEB.
August 17, 2016 @ 11:46 am
I was broken hearted to read about Elvis. And I know there are no words that will erase the pain. A house without a cat is not a home for us cat lovers and I’m so glad that you have found a way to save other cats while your heart heals. I lost my first cat (as an adult) about ten years ago. We rescued Perceval as a tiny kitten when he was brought into the vet’s office where my sister was working at the time. After managing his heart condition (HCM) for years, he died at the young age of 6 from unexplained kidney failure. The only thing that brought me comfort was our other cat, Isabella. I was so devastated that I wasn’t sure I could open my heart again. Then six months later we adopted and a few years later we rescued some feral kittens in our neighborhood. Our current count is 6 cats. Now I can look back on Perceval’s life and focus only on the love and joy he brought us, but it took time. Isabella is now 17 years old and I know I am willing to endure the terrible heart ache again and again to have these wonderful souls in my life. Thanks for the PSA.
August 17, 2016 @ 11:49 am
Does Paul know he just adopted 4 cats? 🙂
August 17, 2016 @ 11:53 am
Ah! Cats with thumbs! I love them! There is this UK commercial that is so good.
“Gangs! Of cats! With thumbs!”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h6CcxJQq1x8&feature=youtu.be
Hurrah for always helping the animals.
August 17, 2016 @ 12:33 pm
This is adorable! Cracked me up…thanks for the laugh cause reading all of the loving posts of people who are kind had me in tears.
August 17, 2016 @ 11:56 am
KITTENS, this is why I have four cats now. I know you can’t replace the one you lost, it still hurts after almost two years since I lost my Prince William but kittens help. Hope you find the “one” soon.
August 17, 2016 @ 11:57 am
OMG, BERYL HAS MITTENS FOR HANDS.
She is adorable.
I had a book when I was little called “Kittens Need Someone to Love” (the cover was light purple with a basket of white fluffy kittens, and it was one of my favorites). It couldn’t be more true. I have been known to throw that line at my husband when we suddenly have a new feral cat or kitten show up in our backyard, whether it was dropped off there by its mama because she knows I provide a veritable smorgasbord or whether it was born in a rusty barrel of 80s trash that has, for some reason, never been emptied. Anyway, kittens always need someone to love, so thank you for being that someone.
August 17, 2016 @ 11:59 am
I got so caught up in those mitten hands that I got BERLA’s name wrong. Sorry, Berla.
August 17, 2016 @ 11:59 am
Victoria,
I love that you’re fostering a cat that most probably would have been euthanized. I’d read about cats with the extra toes on their paws, but its really very endearing. Both of our dogs were rescue dogs and like you, we feel very strongly about giving animals a loving home. Our city has a wonderful shelter and is a no-kill shelter. There are plenty of shelters in the country, however, that dispose of animals daily!
The box of kittens are too cute, who could pass these cuties up.
xo,
Karen
August 17, 2016 @ 12:09 pm
Your cat has thumbs! I believe Elvis channeled you to go pick up those cats like my Pete did after he died. We now have a sweet chorgi. I wasn’t going to get another dog but was passing Petsmart where we had adopted Pete and when I tried to walk past a month after his death I was drawn back to that door and same cage, there was Cody waiting for us.
August 17, 2016 @ 12:03 pm
I SO understand the need to get CATS back in your life. I have…um….5. Yes, you read that right. Cats come to my door because there is a sign only cats can see that says, “Cat Sucker Lives Here”. I had a similar problem with my grown cat Squeebles when we brought the twins Louie and Dewey home – both tuxedo kitties. Squee hissed at the kittens whenever they came near, and growled. Within 24 hours, I kid you not, it was Uncle Squee with the kittens all over him and with him licking them and cuddling them. Elvis sounds like she knew she wanted to be queen and did not want to share that position, which is very smart of her. I wish I had a HUGE house on a farm with lots of barns and volunteers/future owners to take care of all the cats I would bring home. Kind of a “cat village”. One of the volunteers or even two could be cat vets. What a dream. If I win the Lotto, Cat Village here I come (don’t tell my husband though).
August 17, 2016 @ 12:10 pm
Good for you! Same happened here but it was a dog instead of a cat (another story)my cats thankfully were still in the picture, one old man is still with us his name is Spike a lovely cat we found him in a storm drain and took him home you leave a cat in a storm drain and I find him he is mine! Spike has weathered many comings and goings some happy and some sad, as your journey with Elvis progressed I had to stop reading because I would look at Spike and get panicky he is 16 now and has begun to slow down but still spunky enough to put the other cats in their place and help “educate” new pups. I know how you feel and I have felt the same , but isnt it amazing the capacity for love that one small organ the heart has!? O yes I know love doesn’t actually reside in that muscle pumping blood theough our bodies but the word picture suffices. Best of luck, wishes, hope , love and yes faith cause we need them all. AND! Thanks for the box of kittens, its been a while since we have had really young ones here.
August 17, 2016 @ 12:11 pm
I will happily watch videos if it helps kitty cats.
I lost my beloved Frankie (a greyhound) to osteosarcoma last year. It was one of the most awful things I have ever gone through with the exception of losing his sister a few years earlier to a hemangiosarcoma. Black times.
Right after losing Frankie, I let the greyhound people know I wanted to foster. I thought the same as you. I can help a pookie even if I can’t love one yet. I ended up adopting my very first foster. Not because I fell in love with her, because I wasn’t ready yet. But because she fell in love with me and needed me. And I guess I needed that. 18 months later and I’m so crazy about her I can’t believe I almost let her go live somewhere else. She is nutty, loving beyond all good reason, kind of a bad dog (eating a 2 lb bag of uncooked rice!) but she brings so much joy and love to my life. I am lucky lucky lucky.
I still miss Frankie. My throat is aching as I write this. But I get to love Coco now too. I also still foster and love and miss every one that passes through.
Love is weird.
August 17, 2016 @ 12:12 pm
“Love long, love hard, love often.”— Your Shelter Kitty or Puppy
August 17, 2016 @ 12:31 pm
I am in love with Berla, not so much the kittens. Kittens are cute…… but Berla survived just so she could be yours. Her name and toes says it all. You arrived just in time to save her. Like a big tall glittery super fancy super cat woman. I love you Berla get well.
August 17, 2016 @ 12:36 pm
Here’s what I do that doesn’t upset my 15 year old Russian Blue, queen of everything, and my 3 year old German Shepherd: I volunteer to drive for Doobert. Check it out: http://www.doobert.com
August 17, 2016 @ 12:36 pm
How wonderful!!! I grew up with dogs. And, had dogs for the first 30 years of married life. But, about 13 years ago we were blessed with 2 kittens who had been born underneath my next door neighbor’s deck. Three years later I found a precious kitten roaming around a parking lot without proper supervision (also with fleas and malnourished), so I took her home. We are now officially “cat people” and I love it. (Still love dogs, too.) I sat down at the computer this morning wearing my “Until there are none – Adopt one” t-shirt and that seems very appropriate. Bless you for all you’ve done for the cats!!!!
August 17, 2016 @ 12:37 pm
Hi Victoria, my most loved cat died in early February and I didn’t wait at all to get another cat. Some people thought I was crazy but it pained me even more than just losing him to think that we had a space in our home for a cat that might be put down for simply being there too long. I could never handle fostering, I’ve accepted that, so I just adopted an adult cat who had been at the shelter for more than a year. I’m sorry I had to lose my special one but this new guy is pretty amazing too. I gave my self permission to grieve while learning to love a new one and it’s working out just fine. 🙂
August 17, 2016 @ 12:56 pm
Ah, nothing like kitten sounds to soothe my heart. I gotta say that the juxtaposition of this post with the subtitle of your blog made me grin. You are a most Benevolent Dictator, the Quickest Procrastinator and the most Open-Hearted Cat Hoarder I’ve ever known. You send out more positive vibes and creative solutions in a month than I do in a year. Seriously, girl, I think you rock. And opening your heart and home to fostering just makes me admire you even more. Here’s wishing you lots of wonderful experiences with your ‘guests’.
August 17, 2016 @ 1:08 pm
Adorable! Thank you for this timely message – I’m certain you have just saved many other animals – not just those 4 dear kitties in your care. Last year we agreed to bottle feed 3 orphaned kittens and ended up adopting 2 of them. I also foster hounds for a national rescue group. Fostering is a wonderful way to decide if a pet is right for your family and it gets the dog or cat out of the animal shelter where it is noisy and where sometimes the young ones get sick. This is the absolute BEST antidote for your broken heart and I’m sure Elvis approves!!!
August 17, 2016 @ 1:22 pm
Victoria,
I cut and pasted that last bit about giving away free animals in an email to my rescue friends, and also tweeted your post. Would you be OK if I reposted it on my blog, with credit back to you? 🙂 Hali
August 17, 2016 @ 3:13 pm
Yes, of course!! Thank you for letting people know! xoxo