A box of (foster) kittens.
To address how much I miss Elvis, I have two separate and conflicting emotions:
1. Now is a good time to foster because I will never love again/my heart is stone/I will not get attached.
OR
2. Go immediately and get a forever cat… if I get a small/lady/tuxedo cat then she will be 1% like Elvis and then I will only be 99% full of sadness.
I’m not sure if these are “right” decisions that I’m “ready ” for… I suspect that much of my rush has to do with avoiding dealing with Elvis being gone.
I have always prefered creating one disaster to ignore another… and when I suggest to Self that we sit quietly in reflective contemplation, Self is like – no thanks.
Either way, it’s still a fact that we have a home to give.
Way back when we originally got Elvis, I had not planned that she would be our only cat… I assumed I would foster too, until it turned out that Elvis HATES other cats.
I even brought home kittens, and Elvis hated them too.
Paul and I were embarrassed for her… I mean, who hates kittens?
If I had been less bonded to Elvis, I might have insisted that she deal with it and understand that she didn’t get to be the only homeless cat I took in… but I had an older cat once whose entire personality changed when we introduced a younger cat, and he never recovered.
The idea of turning Elvis/my favorite being/into an unhappy rage maniac… was impossible.
So I helped in ways that didn’t upset Elvis.
On Saturday, Paul and I went over to one of the busiest shelters in Philadelphia (read: kill shelter with limited resources and huge demand for intake).
Paul was hesitant, his feeling was – you have been comatose for days, are you sure this isn’t just going to be even MORE upsetting?
I think there was also an element of — cats are the ONLY thing you’ve thought of for over a year… can we wait a minute before jumping back into that pool?
But I guess he also wasn’t comfortable being the person who refused to take me to do the one thing I said I must do.
At this shelter, you have to fill out an application to even open a cage/pet a cat you like, and as I was doing that, I thought – well I might as well apply to also be a foster. Just, you know, to cover all of the bases.
Then the application woman said – if you are interested in being a foster, I would love to show you some of the cats who are “time stamped” for tonight.
So now we are fostering Berla. (I don’t know what that name is from or means) but Paul has been calling her Bigfoot, because she is polydactyl.
She is basically a malnourished bag of bones, but she is a VERY sweet cat, which is surprising for how poorly she’s been treated by humans! She’s calm and friendly… and has been eating like a machine. She uses her litter box perfectly, AND uses the scratch pad LIKE A CHAMP. Overall, she is an excellent houseguest!
She would have been killed only because she has an upper respiratory infection. She is getting medicine, (which she does not love taking, but I am now a cat-medication-giving-rockstar. So we are a good pair.) Her breathing is better already, and even her fur is looking better… I think with some time it will fill in and she will look much spiffier.
I do not think I will fall in love with her, but she will be a wonderful cat for someone and I am so thankful we are able to give her a home while she waits for her forever people.
You cannot change the world,
but you CAN change ONE animal’s whole world!
Adopt don’t shop!
Each year, approximately 2.7 million animals are destroyed in shelters, (1.2 million dogs and 1.4 million cats) JUST in the United States (source, ASPCA)… these animals sit in lonely cages and are eventually put to death because there are simply too many animals and not enough homes… why buy from a breeder or pet store when you could save an animal’s life!
Please don’t have your animal have babies!
If you would like to experience baby animals, foster them! You get the experience, AND you are helping animals! You house them and socialize them and play with them and LOVE THEM until they are old enough to be fixed and go to their forever home!
PLEASE!!! spay and neuter your pets!
Even if they are indoor animals, they can still get out, get lost, and add to overpopulation.
If you notice stray cats in your neighborhood, PLEASE consider TNR-ing them. It’s easy to identify male cats who are not fixed because they will go around spraying on their walkabout… a TNR program can help you trap these animals, have them fixed, and then return them to their territory.
Consider being a foster home for an older animal.
Lots of dogs and cats need a place to recuperate from an injury or illness, or maybe they are just overwhelmed at the shelter and doing poorly. Temporarily taking an animal into your home can save their life! And you open up cage space for the shelter to take in another animal in need.
There are even lots of ways you can get involved that don’t require you to have animals in your home:
1. Volunteer at your local shelter— walk dogs, play with cats… giving the animals human interaction helps keep them receptive to new people and helps keep them from going stir crazy!
2. Collect supplies… shelters are ALWAYS in need of any supplies you can donate. You can ask your shelter for a list of needs.
Host an adoption event.
According to the American Veterinary Medical Association, 40% of pet owners learned about their pet through word of mouth… essentially, just putting animals IN FRONT OF PEOPLE makes them want to adopt!
Think about places where you can raise awareness– work, gym, local coffee shop… get creative! This is TRULY effective!
To find a shelter, start with Google… but sometimes small, volunteer-based organizations are not web-savvy! So searching on Facebook, or Petfinder can also be a good start.
You can even help without ever meeting animals– raise awareness:
1. about the importance of spay/neuter, the value of fostering, trap-neuter-return, and choosing shelters over breeders/pet stores.
2. and also:
GIVING AWAY FREE ANIMALS IS A BAD IDEA!
Initially I tried to write why, but the urls of these articles pretty much sum it up:
man-charged-with-torturing-and-killing-pets-he-adopted-from-craigslist.html
Kittens-bought-Craigslist-stomped-death-kill-room-man-says-hurt-angry-world.html
man-who-tortured-dismembered-dogs-he-got-on-craigslist-gets
If none of those seem like good reasons to be careful who you give an animal to, here are more:
- Cats, kittens, small dogs, rabbits, etc. are used as bait in dogfighting rings. (National Geographic. *NO graphic images.)
- Used in “crush” fetish videos… which is exactly what it sounds like (care2.org… *NO graphic or upsetting images, just a report on a successful and unprecedented prosecution!)
PLEASE go the extra mile when rehoming a pet! PLEASE check out the credentials and housing for your pet to ensure they are going to a truly safe and loving home.
***
I know at this point you are like: WHERE IS THE BOX OF KITTENS I WAS PROMISED?
So here you go.
After we came home with Berla. I felt good about that!
But you know what I didn’t feel good about? I didn’t help any kittens. Who doesn’t help kittens??
In the moment/at the shelter, I wasn’t sure if I wanted kittens. I thought they might make me sadder/miss Elvis more/generally contribute to the feeling of life-isn’t-fair.
But by the time we got home I realized I had made a mistake — the day I don’t have room in my heart for kittens is a day of doom and armageddon… so I had to make a second trip.
Have I gone overboard? Probably… it’s what I do. I don’t know any other way to function.
It is officially kitten season… which means that in any given week, a busy shelter can EASILY take in a HUNDRED kittens and pregnant cats.
THAT IS A LOT OF KITTENS.
If you are able to provide a foster home, you are giving these animals a chance to get big enough to be adopted. AND (incase this is not obvious) YOU GET KITTENS.
Here is some video for you. ***TURN UP YOUR VOLUME TO HEAR THEM**
P.S.– I switched video hosts, because the other one was getting expensive! You might get a comercial now. Sorry! When I re-evaluated my expense-priorities: making-my-site-fancy-for-internet-people VS. cats… the cats won.
August 17, 2016 @ 10:30 am
The cats should always win. I’m happy you and I are in agreement.
I respect your values around pets and animals so much, and love reading and learning about all you can do. Honestly, I never really thought a lot about it until this year.
My husband found a coon hound that had been dumped right off the interstate on the way to work a few weeks ago and we fostered him until he could find a home. It definitely opened my eyes to the needs of pets and how strapped the local animal rescues are. I would have kept him if he didn’t keep herding my child down the stairs and I was fairly certain it could lead to an injury. I probably would have kept him anyway (bad mom), but he found a nice home with a man who loves him and I only cried a little.
August 17, 2016 @ 11:02 am
I’m in love with Beryl already, working so hard to get healthy, being a good cat.
August 17, 2016 @ 1:16 pm
When I had to have my precious cat Turgut put to sleep I was unconsolable. My husband said I cried harder over that death than my grandparents. I replied that I didn’t have to put down my grandparents. Anyway, I lasted ONE WHOLE WEEK before we went to our local shelter and I adopted two kittens – unrelated. They weren’t Turgut. No one could ever be Turgut, but 14 years later I still have one if them. Mr. Hoover sleeps with me every night and follows me from room to room. I will never have another Hoover. There’s the pain and the beauty of our rescues.
August 17, 2016 @ 3:47 pm
This just made me cry. Happy ugly cry. It has been a hard month for me as I lost my father, my dog has been a serious part of my daily therapy. I am sorry you had to go through such dark times, but am so impressed and overjoyed to see you taking in other kitties who are in need of a big heart, lots of love and a seasoned ‘care taker’. Enjoy!
December 5, 2016 @ 9:08 pm
When I lost my grandpa, my GSD was the ONLY living, breathing thing I would let around me…not even my kids. I was a wreck. Absolutely depressed and lost (he raised me from 2 months old). After a few weeks, I started coming around and a little better. Then, a few weeks after that, I lost Marco. We had to put him down due to cancer. It was the single worst day of my life. I still miss him. Every single day. I have 3 pups now, but my lab Luciano, he’s my love now and he keeps my heart happy, even when I am blue…
August 17, 2016 @ 4:02 pm
So sorry to hear about losing your Elvis. We lost 2 fur babies in 10 days. So it is really weird around here right now. The good thing is that we still have one of our own kitties & our daughter still has a kitty here. Our kitty has gone into hiding in a room upstairs that she doesn’t really frequent so she doesn’t come out right now. She’s a little confused. But I love these 2 also so no new kitties coming here for a while.
August 17, 2016 @ 9:56 pm
Not to start an advice thread, but when my Tasha passed, her brother did that and I found it helped for me to go and sit in that room and talk to him.
August 21, 2016 @ 10:50 pm
Good for you. From one foster mom to another. By the way, the name for a group of kittens is a “kindle,”
and the name for a group of adults is a
“clowder. ” The trick is to find homes for the kindle before they clowder.
Oh yes, Berla Blue looks great on your Persian rug..
August 17, 2016 @ 10:30 am
We have three animals. All are rescues. A beautiful, mistreated Boxer dog, a chubby kitten faced big boy cat, and a sweet little black ball of kitty mischief missing an ear tip and half a tail. I think it’s so important to rescue animals. And adult animals in particular. Good work you’re doing.
August 17, 2016 @ 10:31 am
When I win the lottery, and I will, most of my millions will go to spay/neuter programs and eliminating kill shelters. Until that day, I will adopt shelter, stray and abandoned kitties.
August 17, 2016 @ 10:34 am
Hmmm – I see at least 3 cats in your long range future. The kittens are darling and Berla is looking much better. Lucky cats!
August 17, 2016 @ 10:36 am
KITTENS!!!!!! Your site is tipping over because your newsletter subscribers are so happy that you have kittens in your house. As a fellow blogger, that is a good problem.
I am so happy for you that you have kittens in your house, and the lovely ragamuffin. I personally also fall in the get a new cat, foster or forever, right away, and here’s why:
1. Can provide a cat a home= must provide a cat a home.
2. I believe cat people, those of us put on earth to serve cats, have a cat-shaped beam of love coming from our hearts at all times. If it’s not falling on a cat, it is going to waste.
Of course this is different for everyone. But we went to the shelter the next morning after we buried our Seven, to “find the Dalai Lama” as my husband’s mother calls it, and as it happens we found her, then had to go back to get her a pet cat a week or two later.
My friend Loraine, on the other hand, has been fostering/saving/helping but not falling in love with a nice little man for months since her loss of a longtime love.
However it goes, it helps kitties, and I am so happy for you.
August 17, 2016 @ 10:36 am
I’ve git my 3 cats from a shelter, and have fostered many kittens its annawesome thing to do! And a fantabulous way for you Victoria to help kitties abd spread awareness, and honor Elvis’s memory. Hugs and love from one cat lady to another.
August 17, 2016 @ 10:41 am
Oh and i do wish I had spell checked before I pressed send! No I’m not silly just fat fingers!
August 17, 2016 @ 10:39 am
Good for you! There’s no replacing Elvis; that simply won’t happen, but kittens! and a cat will distract you while you heal.
In my area, there are free neutering clinics that come around a few times a year. We just have to be alert for them.
August 17, 2016 @ 10:39 am
Purring machines!
I follow the Itty Bitty Kitty Committee (completely on the other side of the country from you), but she fosters kittens. Check out her site when you have a chance. http://www.theittybittykittycommittee.com/
Love and hugs to you and your fosters.
August 17, 2016 @ 10:40 am
Bravo to you! May their darling kitten antics be a balm to your aching heart. And, bigfoot is darling, really. I’d say you have the perfect things to help you with the unbearable grief. XO
August 17, 2016 @ 10:40 am
Years ago we lost our one cat and my dad allowed my sister and I to each pick one from a litter. I chose Rusty and my sis chose Dusty-yes they looked exactly liked the colors and totally opposite personalities. Best fun ever! Just a thought as I know how having that second pet keeps the heart from totally being ripped away if one loses a pet.
SPAY AND NEUTER-it’s like who the hell doesn’t these days???
August 17, 2016 @ 10:41 am
So glad you found room in your heart for fostering, and I hope you find your perfect foster fail! I wish the shelters in my area were more accommodating of people who want to adopt! I have been trying to add a puppy to my family for almost a year, and they have such strict rules…. no females with other females (for example). Cost for a mixed-breed puppy is more than $500!!!! And they don’t agree with how I care for my existing 10-year-old dog (who has epilepsy) so they have banned me from their list. And all I’m doing is not adding any unnecessary chemicals to her life. We have a fenced half acre and work from home…what more could you want from an adopter? Sorry for the rant, but I am so frustrated that I can’t find a puppy for my old girl!
August 17, 2016 @ 12:10 pm
Please don’t give up, Dianne. Look for a small rescue group rather than a county shelter. Here in the south, unfortunately, there are often people in parking lots selling puppies. Those poor little souls are as much in danger, in my opinion, as if they were sitting in a kill shelter. Same with taking a puppy from a Craigslist post; I have no doubt that’s saving a life, too.
August 17, 2016 @ 1:30 pm
I also have a dog (Rocky, a black lab) with epilepsy. With the help of a wonderful vet (and my local pot shop), I’ve started him on CBD extract, in addition to a reduced phenobarbital dose. I hope you have your dog for a long time. It’s a hard disease to live with.
August 17, 2016 @ 10:42 am
Oh squee!! My heart. WHO is cutting onions here?
August 17, 2016 @ 10:44 am
We lost our very special cat Cupcake on Jan. 1. She was 15 years old and our children had grown up with her. She was THE BEST cat–beautiful, friendly to the limits of feline friendliness, a good mouser, amusing, well behaved. She tolerated the dog. She loved us and assigned us all jobs. Although she’d been ill for almost a year, she was kind enough not to really get sick until a couple of days before she died. She passed quietly and with dignity. Although we are “cat people” we were hesitant to get another cat. We grieved for her and she left a hole in our family. We could never “replace” her. However, when our daughter came home from college in May, she encouraged us to consider adopting a kitty. So we went to “just look,” but mostly to see if our hearts could handle it. We met Caroline, an older kitten, a tuxedo. She was extremely shy, so much so that she had been returned to the shelter twice. We went home and thought about, then called the shelter first thing in the morning to claim her. She must have been waiting for us because, two months later, with much patience and socializing, she is part of the family–running around, playing, accepting pets, using our beds as her own. We will always keep Cupcake close in our hearts, she’s part of us. But there was room for Caroline, after all.
August 17, 2016 @ 10:45 am
Mostly our cats have just shown up and moved themselves in. We’re currently catless but have a neighbor cat on a part time basis. He gets his morning treats and snuggies and then settles down on the pillows for a long nap.
I wonder how many of those cats currently visiting, are really just “foster”? Looking forward to future posts.
August 17, 2016 @ 10:45 am
You are such a great person to do this! Hope your story inspires more people to adopt rescue pets.
August 17, 2016 @ 10:45 am
Oh my goodness what a wonderful thing you are doing! I looove Berla – I’ve already renamed her Twinkle Toes (in my head of course) and if my current fur baby would tolerate it (his feelings about other cats sound to be like Elvis’) I would probably drive 500 miles to get her from you! 😉 And the kitten video had me melting – all that purring! I’m glad you’ve found a way to begin your recovery.
August 17, 2016 @ 10:47 am
Dear One- I am in love with all of the cats you are fostering. Fostering is not something I can do. It becomes adoption and you may be in the same boat(box)! I had a lovely Tuxedo that lived 20 years. She left me and I waited a year before adopting the most amazing Siamese Lynx that I could not imagine anyone not wanting.
I love the wacky element of Berla’s bigfoot situation. She will always be a conversation piece. I hope she is teaching the kittens to be lovely little cats. Enjoy. Elvis approves, I am sure.
August 17, 2016 @ 10:48 am
I did not think it was possible to love you more. But now I do. Thank you so much from the animal sheltering world for opening your heart again to help these sweet babies. Elvis’s memory couldn’t be honored in any more valuable way.
Love, me (aka the Strategic Business Officer for Wright-Way Rescue in Illinois)
August 17, 2016 @ 10:51 am
So happy you are finding ways to soothe your pain. Keep fighting the good fight. XXOO
August 17, 2016 @ 10:51 am
Also, if you don’t fall in love with Berla, and another reader nearby doesn’t madly adore her like I already do, and someone who reads your blog is coming to Germany/Berlin, we would give her a home when she is ready and pay for the cat ticket/vet exam/shipping exam.