Elvis has left the building.
We put Elvis to sleep last Tuesday.
It was time.
She had not been eating well and she just wound down and down… Even after Paul had a very serious conversation where he explained to her: earth is for eaters; if you don’t eat, you can’t stay… nonconformists will not be tolerated.
The hospice vet came to the house in the morning. We held her on our bed, on her favorite blanket. We told her that she didnāt have to be afraid, and that we loved her more than anything, and she willĀ always still be here, right in our hearts, forever.
Elvis’s head was on my shoulder when she died. I hope she didnāt know what was happening.
An hour later we took her to be cremated.
We took her all the way to the machine because my heart hurt to think of her being alone, or with strangers; and I wanted to be with her as far as I couldā¦ I don’t think she knows any of that. But it mattered a lot to me.
Then we waited for her ashes and took her back home.
She’s got a little shrine right now, with lots of flowers from the garden, and her fuzzy ball, and the small dish of whiskers she shed/I found over the last 12 years.
Itās on the spot on the rug where she would RUN, as soon as you walked in the door; she would start doing her aerobics because she wasĀ so excited that you were going to pet her…Ā At night she comes upstairs to the bedside table.
When I’m ready she’ll get moved to the Elvis Memorial Library. (Previously known as Cleveland bookcase)
For twelve years, Elvis was basically half of myself, soĀ I expected to be sad. Really sad. Debilitatingly sad. But I didn’t understand the actual FRANTIC physical sensation of missing her. Wanting to pick her up and feel her fur and talk to her and hear her purry chirp.
And I would like to say officially: THIS IS A HORRIBLE SYSTEM.
How has humanity not just curled up and died from incurable loss?
I literally do not comprehend how people survive when it is human family.
Iāve been camped out in my tent of sadness… it was really unmanageable at firstā the tent kept collapsing and trying to suffocate me.
But I think now Iāve got it packed into something more wheelbarrow-sized, which is nice and convenient because it’s portable, so when youĀ have a breakdown outside your house, you have all the supplies.
Making this video was helpful, but also so sad… I can’t believe she’s really gone.
*If you can’t watch the video, try reloading the page, or being sure that you aren’t inside of the Facebook app… it seems to break the video.
I miss everything about her. Our conversations. Her smell. Her chirp. Her smoochy face. Her white feeties. Her wompy ear.
But I know she had a wonderful life and THE MOST LOVE, and that’s really the best that any of us can hope for in this life.
August 9, 2016 @ 11:54 am
Shed your tears, you’re entitled. She was your heart and soul, and deserves to be mourned. Know that it indeed gets easier to bear their loss. I’ve lost too many to count in my 60+ years. The last was my hubbys’ best buddy, 2 yrs. ago, and then we said “no more” to that loss. But now, we are wanting to fill that tremendous void we have, so I know we will adopt again. I don’t look forward to outliving another member of our family, but we seem to need that extra bit of love from a pet!
Thank you for sharing Elvis with us, through good times and bad. We too have lost her in a way.
(((HUGS)))
August 9, 2016 @ 11:54 am
What a lovely tribute to a loss so overwhelming. We really do get it because we’ve been there. Some of us more than once. Take your time and take care. Blessings..
Gigi
August 9, 2016 @ 11:54 am
I’m so sorry for your loss. Feeling your sadness. Thank you for sharing a glimpse of your life . Know that you are in all our hearts and prayers.
August 9, 2016 @ 11:55 am
Oh Sweetie! I am heartbroken for you. I know the impossible pain you are feeling. Elvis was LOVED BEYOND MEASURE and, yes, that is the most important thing. And she loved YOU beyond measure. That is the circle of life, though it’s unfair we outlive them. You are a fantabulous “cat mom”…Cry. A lot. Just cry it out, sweetie. Hugs from Texas and Bless Your Heart!
August 9, 2016 @ 11:55 am
I’m so sorry for your loss…
Could you have made the video a little less blurry? Oh, wait, that was the tears in my eyes!
August 9, 2016 @ 11:59 am
I’m so sorry. As a another person owned by cats, my heart aches for you. What a wonderful life Elvis had and you with her. Love to you and Paul.
August 9, 2016 @ 12:05 pm
oh my goodness, i’m crying here at work and i didn’t even watch the video with sound. so so sorry for your loss. i hate loss, but i love the love you have. *sniff* *looking out for coworkers*
August 9, 2016 @ 12:06 pm
Victoria-
I don’t even LIKE cats, but, damn if I didn’t *kind of* sort of fall in love with Elvis over the last few years. I am SO sorry for your loss. I never felt too deeply the loss of pets (even though I grew up with a veritable menagerie of pets- mom was a huge pet freak- and lived through the death of ALL of them). Your video, though, helped me understand that E really WAS your other half- and for twelve years, no less! Oof. I hear you on the visceral loss, that wanting to FEEL that animal next to you. I hope you find much comfort in the fact that you gave Elvis an absolutely AMAZEBALLS life. Hell, you made her an Internet star! One day, another Elvis-esque cat will make it into your life, and you’ll tell Elvis II all about Elvis I, and all will be right again.
August 9, 2016 @ 12:07 pm
i am crying , my heart breaks for you. Such a sweet funny cute friend she was. Put her away safe in your heart . She can stay there till you meet again.
https://youtu.be/Xftn_mV7czA
August 9, 2016 @ 12:09 pm
I was so sad to see your most recent post. A lot of people don’t understand how our fur babies are truly part of our families, sometimes I think they are the lucky ones as their hearts aren’t broken when their “pets” are gone. When someone we love dearly passes away, our brains get it, it just takes our hearts longer to catch up. I am so sorry for your loss. RIP Elvis.
August 9, 2016 @ 12:10 pm
So very sorry for your loss…..
August 9, 2016 @ 12:10 pm
My heart hurts for you. She did have the most wonderful life and love. There’s nothing better than that. Hugs.
August 9, 2016 @ 12:12 pm
I’ve never commented here before, but I’m a faithful reader. I’ve been praying for Elvis and you, and I’m so, so sorry she’s gone. Take good care of yourself.
August 9, 2016 @ 12:12 pm
Uggghh… I cannot stop crying for you – the tears are running down my face right now….. it’s so unfair š I’m so terribly sorry and I completely agree with the fact that this is a horrible system and your feeling of the tent of sadness š
August 9, 2016 @ 12:12 pm
Victoria, I am so sorry for your loss. I know words dont help much right now. I am crying for Elvis and for my sweet cats I have had to put to sleep. So hard to make the decision even when the right one.
We always bury them with a slip of paper that has a quote from AA Milne on it, “I will never not remember you” because they wrap themselves around our hearts and never leave.
August 9, 2016 @ 12:13 pm
Elizabeth and Paul I am so sorry for your loss! Your posts have brought so much joy and laughter into my life when it was sorely needed. I hope and pray you can feel the support and love from all those you have touched with your lives and adventures. Again so sorry!
August 9, 2016 @ 12:14 pm
So sorry about Elvis!! You had so many “bonus” days with her. We lost our dog 3 years ago and I can still hardly believe he’s gone when I walk in the door. Sometimes I think about getting another but I can’t go through the grief again!
August 9, 2016 @ 12:15 pm
Firstly, so very sorry for your incredible loss! Hugs and prayers to you, Paul, and your readers who all have come to love Elvis. Secondly, I was hesitant to read your lovely post because loss brings so much sadness. But having lost my Mom last year and our two 9 year old dogs in the last 8 months, I know that sharing loss helps us heal incredibly. Sometimes writing these posts are just the first powerful step. Thirdly, simply READING about someone’s loss help us individually to heal long our coping journey. You words offered comfort, memory, and healing beyond what you realize right now, but you will get it when you read later on of another person’s loss of family member, precious pet, or distant friend.
So, while your posts normally bring me laughter and excitement, this time you bring me peace and healing. Thank you for that! Rest in peace Sweet Elvis! And please run a lap with my precious Sparky and Cloey!
August 9, 2016 @ 12:20 pm
Literal tear jerker. I think I have an idea how you feel; you have my sympathies and my heart goes out to you and Paul. Though sad to watch, the video was so enjoyable and the music so fitting and beautiful.
August 9, 2016 @ 12:20 pm
I am gutted, sad and tearful for your loss. Rest easy little Elvis; you were loved beyond measure and missed even more.