Elvis has left the building.
We put Elvis to sleep last Tuesday.
It was time.
She had not been eating well and she just wound down and down… Even after Paul had a very serious conversation where he explained to her: earth is for eaters; if you don’t eat, you can’t stay… nonconformists will not be tolerated.
The hospice vet came to the house in the morning. We held her on our bed, on her favorite blanket. We told her that she didnāt have to be afraid, and that we loved her more than anything, and she willĀ always still be here, right in our hearts, forever.
Elvis’s head was on my shoulder when she died. I hope she didnāt know what was happening.
An hour later we took her to be cremated.
We took her all the way to the machine because my heart hurt to think of her being alone, or with strangers; and I wanted to be with her as far as I couldā¦ I don’t think she knows any of that. But it mattered a lot to me.
Then we waited for her ashes and took her back home.
She’s got a little shrine right now, with lots of flowers from the garden, and her fuzzy ball, and the small dish of whiskers she shed/I found over the last 12 years.
Itās on the spot on the rug where she would RUN, as soon as you walked in the door; she would start doing her aerobics because she wasĀ so excited that you were going to pet her…Ā At night she comes upstairs to the bedside table.
When I’m ready she’ll get moved to the Elvis Memorial Library. (Previously known as Cleveland bookcase)
For twelve years, Elvis was basically half of myself, soĀ I expected to be sad. Really sad. Debilitatingly sad. But I didn’t understand the actual FRANTIC physical sensation of missing her. Wanting to pick her up and feel her fur and talk to her and hear her purry chirp.
And I would like to say officially: THIS IS A HORRIBLE SYSTEM.
How has humanity not just curled up and died from incurable loss?
I literally do not comprehend how people survive when it is human family.
Iāve been camped out in my tent of sadness… it was really unmanageable at firstā the tent kept collapsing and trying to suffocate me.
But I think now Iāve got it packed into something more wheelbarrow-sized, which is nice and convenient because it’s portable, so when youĀ have a breakdown outside your house, you have all the supplies.
Making this video was helpful, but also so sad… I can’t believe she’s really gone.
*If you can’t watch the video, try reloading the page, or being sure that you aren’t inside of the Facebook app… it seems to break the video.
I miss everything about her. Our conversations. Her smell. Her chirp. Her smoochy face. Her white feeties. Her wompy ear.
But I know she had a wonderful life and THE MOST LOVE, and that’s really the best that any of us can hope for in this life.
August 9, 2016 @ 12:21 pm
So sorry for your loss! My cat died too last Monday actually and I was incredibly sad too. He was 11, although he’s had diabetes for 7 of those years so his body just gave out I think. I found a cherub holding a kitty statue on Amazon and we put it in the garden and that helped some. My kids go over pet it. man I teared up watching your video!!
August 9, 2016 @ 12:24 pm
So sorry for your loss. I have loved a cat, actually, 3 of them in my lifetime of 62 years. I say I can not stand to suffer anymore loss. Yet,I am thinking of adopting again. Because the heart wants what the heart wants.
Your beloved Elvis was a lucky cat.
August 9, 2016 @ 12:25 pm
You’re absolutely right, this is an horrible system. It seems that the more you love, the more painful it is… But I prefer having all those great years together + the horrible grieving part than getting none of this.
I really hope it’ll get a tiny bit easier for you each day. Elvis was incredibly lucky to have a family such as yours. Big virtual hugs from another cat lover.
August 9, 2016 @ 12:26 pm
I’ve been praying for you and Elvis. I’m so, so sorry she’s gone. Take good care of yourself.
August 9, 2016 @ 12:27 pm
I’m so sorry. It never gets easier to put a beloved pet down. Yet it’s worth every tear and more. Your were wonderful parents. I’m sure you will have more beloved pets in the future.
You told us how to view the video on our computers, but not how to see it through the tears.
August 9, 2016 @ 12:27 pm
You’ve written such a lovely tribute, and although I feel like I know you (and thus Elvis, at least to some degree), I don’t really. What I do know is that you and your husband gave Elvis so much warmth and love and that you and Elvis will always be together.
August 9, 2016 @ 12:30 pm
I am so very sorry. I still sometimes mourn the loss of our first cat, gone nearly 14 years now, whose name was Roger and who would wake me up every morning just before my alarm went off by patting my face very gently. It is so painful to lose a pet, I don’t know why we do it to ourselves over and over but at the same time I *do* know–it’s because that kind of unconditional love is rare in this world, and we crave it. I sometimes tell our dogs (in front of my kids and husband) that I love them most, and I am only a little bit kidding.
Best wishes as you walk though this time–
August 9, 2016 @ 12:32 pm
This hit a nerve for me. We had to put our precious Ellie-cat to sleep in June after almost 17 years together. Even two months later, I keep expecting to see her in the morning. Sorry for your loss. Elvis seemed like a great kitty.
August 9, 2016 @ 12:33 pm
I am so sorry you lost your favorite thing. Feeling all the feels with you right now.
August 9, 2016 @ 12:33 pm
My heart aches for you. I’ve known and loved so many sweet pets in my 65 years. It never hurts any less, but I believe that I’ll be inundated with fuzzy rubbing, purring kitties and waggy-tailed dogs who give me kisses when my time comes to cross The Bridge.
August 9, 2016 @ 12:35 pm
Big hugs to you and Paul and Elvis, who I know is hanging out somewhere, soaking up all this love. I think the reason our hearts break so hard and so completely is that when we love like that, we really love without walls, without boundaries of any kind. The breakage is so there are literally no individual pieces of Me and You…we become US. Elvis will always be there.
August 9, 2016 @ 12:36 pm
I am so sorry. Sending healing energy your way while you travel this dark path.
August 9, 2016 @ 12:37 pm
Thank you for sharing Elvis with us. I am so sorry for your loss. I am glad that she got to ride in a wee dolly pram during her lifetime, that seems like a fine luxury for a kitty.
August 9, 2016 @ 12:39 pm
I lost my first two cats a few years ago within 4 months of each other. Katie was 18 and Fluffy was 19, they lived together and loved each other for 18 years. My father buried them together on a knoll at their farm along the woods. They do become like family. Though it gets easier, I will say that not a week goes by that I don’t think of them at some point…sometimes with a smile, sometimes with a tear.
August 9, 2016 @ 12:40 pm
I am so so sorry Victoria and Paul. These little furry creatures, they wend their way into our hearts and keep a piece when they go. I’m sure, that when I die, if anyone looks at my heart it will be a patchwork where different creatures have left their impressions and removed a piece. It’s ok. I know that every animal I have will go before me. I *hope* that I might see them again if there is another side for us. I’ve loved them all unconditionally but some just became part of me. It’s been 5 years since Gwen left us but I still mourn her. I understand how you want to hold them, see them, comfort them, one more time. Because you shared your lives with us many, MANY of us will remember Elvis as well. That is quite a legacy š
Take your time. We will wait. Everything will wait as you grieve.
August 9, 2016 @ 12:46 pm
I am so sorry – thank you so much for sharing Elvis with us.
August 9, 2016 @ 12:50 pm
I’m so sorry. I’ve been there and it really, really stinks. But the pain does eventually fade into sweet memories, and gratitude for all they gave us.
August 9, 2016 @ 12:56 pm
First… Victoria I am so very sorry for the loss of sweet Elvis.
I have to admit I was not able to finish your beautiful video as it swelled up many feelings I have experienced over the last 7 months… as we have lost 2 beloved cats ,and one beloved dog.
I will say that that the painful empty vacant feeling of your Elvis being gone will slowly and ever so gently subside. May this give you some comfort. But,this being said ,there will forever be a stinging spot ( sort of like when you hit your ” funny bone” that can pop up at some of the strangest times. I have never minded these pop up feelings because that is the price for love… grief. It is all part of the loving process. It is all worth it and I would ,and will continue to be part of that process as it is what being alive and loving is all about. I am guessing you might feel the same way .
For now, I wish your heart peace and healing …and always remember that Elvis will be a part of you forever.
August 9, 2016 @ 12:57 pm
I am so sorry about Elvis, as soon as I read the subject line in my email, I was like Oh no! I think with the loss of our pets it is that they loved us unconditionally, and humans are not like that. Be gone all day and not cook supper…what? Are you kidding? Be gone all day for a fur baby…oh my gosh Mummy is home, I love you so much.
Sending you big hugs and love, Di
August 9, 2016 @ 1:04 pm
The good news is that it will get better with time. The bad news is that it will take time (SO MUCH TIME) for it to get better.
She knows. She knows you were there. She knows that you loved her with everything you have. She knows.