Elvis has left the building.
We put Elvis to sleep last Tuesday.
It was time.
She had not been eating well and she just wound down and down… Even after Paul had a very serious conversation where he explained to her: earth is for eaters; if you don’t eat, you can’t stay… nonconformists will not be tolerated.
The hospice vet came to the house in the morning. We held her on our bed, on her favorite blanket. We told her that she didnāt have to be afraid, and that we loved her more than anything, and she willĀ always still be here, right in our hearts, forever.
Elvis’s head was on my shoulder when she died. I hope she didnāt know what was happening.
An hour later we took her to be cremated.
We took her all the way to the machine because my heart hurt to think of her being alone, or with strangers; and I wanted to be with her as far as I couldā¦ I don’t think she knows any of that. But it mattered a lot to me.
Then we waited for her ashes and took her back home.
She’s got a little shrine right now, with lots of flowers from the garden, and her fuzzy ball, and the small dish of whiskers she shed/I found over the last 12 years.
Itās on the spot on the rug where she would RUN, as soon as you walked in the door; she would start doing her aerobics because she wasĀ so excited that you were going to pet her…Ā At night she comes upstairs to the bedside table.
When I’m ready she’ll get moved to the Elvis Memorial Library. (Previously known as Cleveland bookcase)
For twelve years, Elvis was basically half of myself, soĀ I expected to be sad. Really sad. Debilitatingly sad. But I didn’t understand the actual FRANTIC physical sensation of missing her. Wanting to pick her up and feel her fur and talk to her and hear her purry chirp.
And I would like to say officially: THIS IS A HORRIBLE SYSTEM.
How has humanity not just curled up and died from incurable loss?
I literally do not comprehend how people survive when it is human family.
Iāve been camped out in my tent of sadness… it was really unmanageable at firstā the tent kept collapsing and trying to suffocate me.
But I think now Iāve got it packed into something more wheelbarrow-sized, which is nice and convenient because it’s portable, so when youĀ have a breakdown outside your house, you have all the supplies.
Making this video was helpful, but also so sad… I can’t believe she’s really gone.
*If you can’t watch the video, try reloading the page, or being sure that you aren’t inside of the Facebook app… it seems to break the video.
I miss everything about her. Our conversations. Her smell. Her chirp. Her smoochy face. Her white feeties. Her wompy ear.
But I know she had a wonderful life and THE MOST LOVE, and that’s really the best that any of us can hope for in this life.
August 9, 2016 @ 11:08 am
V,
I’m so sorry for your loss of sweet Elvis…our pets are family, and having to make a decision for their good, but to end their life is awful…
I was there last summer with our dog, Lily. One of the saddest experiences I’ve had in a while…no words.
The loneliness and sadness are felt less frequently, but my heart still hurts when I think about it.
Time is a healer, though, and all the happy, silly, crazy moments from your time with her will gradually push the sadness over, so it takes up less space in your heart, replaced by gratefulness for the time spent together.
Hang in there, girl. My thoughts and prayers are with you,
Theresa
August 9, 2016 @ 11:09 am
Your video tribute is BEAUTIFUL and I cried more than after watching Breakfast at Tiffanies. I just wanted to mention, when our kitty left us, my daughter and I took a copy of her photo, traced it on to a ceramic tile and painted it at one of those crafty ceramic outlets, and then put it in the garden to mark the spot she’s buried under a lilac tree. It really helped my daughter, especially, who lost her best friend. She visits her kitty’s memorial when she comes home from university.
August 9, 2016 @ 11:10 am
I am so sorry about the loss of your precious Elvis. She was a gorgeous cat in every way. I just had a similar experience in early June with my little dog and I miss her so much. Elvis had the.best cat life ever and you gave her that. Hugs!
August 9, 2016 @ 11:10 am
Oh VEB, I’m SO sorry! My heart breaks for you. I’m a proud kitty mama too and I know how hard it is to lose a family member. You were the best mom ever for Elvis, and I know she is smiling down from kitty heaven, thankful for all you did for her!
August 9, 2016 @ 11:11 am
I’m really sorry Victoria. Hang in there. It gets better. I’m going to go hug my dig now.
August 9, 2016 @ 11:11 am
Dear Elizabeth and Paul. I am so sorry for your loss. Elvis was a very much beloved soul. Like you, we all knew this day was coming, but upon opening my email this morning and seeing that she has passed, it was very real and brought back heartbreaking memories of losing our two older dogs, two years ago, less than a year apart. I have not wanted to get another dog as it has been so hard on my heart to not have my girl with me, but I am finally getting to the place where the desire to love another dog is greater than my desire to mourn the loss of the ones we had.
I wish you both comfort and consolation in knowing that you gave her the best life any ONE could ever hope for. She is living over the rainbow bridge now without pain and chasing butterflies, eating anything she wants, and enjoying boxes.
August 9, 2016 @ 11:11 am
Dear Victoria, Once our hearts are touched with the love of a furry animal (being dog or cat), and that love is given back tenfold, we are never the same again. That depth of love cannot be measured because it really is their unconditional love to us which is given back. Please don’t ever feel you must defend your love or sorrow over Elvis, for you loved greatly and that is what counts the most. My thoughts are with you and Paul. And thank you for sharing your life adventure with us all!
August 9, 2016 @ 11:12 am
So sorry, thoughts are with you.
August 9, 2016 @ 11:14 am
And I just noticed, you were reading Kafka Was the Rage, great book.
August 9, 2016 @ 11:15 am
I am so sorry about Elvis…
August 9, 2016 @ 11:17 am
I’m so sorry. Have been through loss multiple times–most recently with my 25-year-old niece who lived with us the year she was in 8th grade–so understand the feelings. It was dear of you to take her body to the crematorium–didn’t think to do that with my cats. You handled her death beautifully, truly doing all you could. She knew with her last conscious awareness that you loved her. The memory video is beautiful, thank you for sharing it. She was an adorable cat. R.I.P., Elvis.
August 9, 2016 @ 11:17 am
Oh, it is unbearably difficult to lose a pet, isn’t it? I’m not sure people who haven’t had a pet quite understand the hole it leaves in you. I’m so sorry. She had a wonderful life.
August 9, 2016 @ 11:18 am
I am so sorry for all the pain you are feeling. Know that some random woman out in cyberspace is praying for God to ease the hurt and feelings of bottomless loss you are feeling. Lean in tight to your wonderful husband and feel that love and comfort from each other. Sending hugs from here…..
August 9, 2016 @ 11:18 am
Many, many hugs…
All my love,
Karen
August 9, 2016 @ 11:18 am
I’m SO SORRY for your loss. This just breaks my heart.
August 9, 2016 @ 11:18 am
So sorry for your loss…….
August 9, 2016 @ 11:19 am
Like all of your friends out here I was dreading this,and really fearful that when it became inevitable it would overwhelm you but I am relieved to see that though somewhat bruised and battered you are coping and though it’s hard to know that as the track of your life moves on into the unseen future and the past slips away from sight Elvis will find that place in your memories where she is snug,cozy and peacefully sleeping in the lasting rest granted to us all. As new generations come along to take their turn at this life experience. My husband and I are down to our last few days or years and with Alzheimers he won’t know and I am no more surprised or concerned about my end than I was at my beginning. I know this doesn’t help much now but just breathe and live and be the happy soul you are,it is certain elvis would wish it so.
August 9, 2016 @ 11:21 am
I am so sorry for your loss. Remember the good times..
August 9, 2016 @ 11:21 am
How blessed you three were to have each other. Thank you for sharing Elvis with us. She is greatly missed and loved.
August 9, 2016 @ 11:21 am
Without sadness we wouldn’t recognize the joy in our lives.