Elvis has left the building.
We put Elvis to sleep last Tuesday.
It was time.
She had not been eating well and she just wound down and down… Even after Paul had a very serious conversation where he explained to her: earth is for eaters; if you don’t eat, you can’t stay… nonconformists will not be tolerated.
The hospice vet came to the house in the morning. We held her on our bed, on her favorite blanket. We told her that she didn’t have to be afraid, and that we loved her more than anything, and she will always still be here, right in our hearts, forever.
Elvis’s head was on my shoulder when she died. I hope she didn’t know what was happening.
An hour later we took her to be cremated.
We took her all the way to the machine because my heart hurt to think of her being alone, or with strangers; and I wanted to be with her as far as I could… I don’t think she knows any of that. But it mattered a lot to me.
Then we waited for her ashes and took her back home.
She’s got a little shrine right now, with lots of flowers from the garden, and her fuzzy ball, and the small dish of whiskers she shed/I found over the last 12 years.
It’s on the spot on the rug where she would RUN, as soon as you walked in the door; she would start doing her aerobics because she was so excited that you were going to pet her… At night she comes upstairs to the bedside table.
When I’m ready she’ll get moved to the Elvis Memorial Library. (Previously known as Cleveland bookcase)
For twelve years, Elvis was basically half of myself, so I expected to be sad. Really sad. Debilitatingly sad. But I didn’t understand the actual FRANTIC physical sensation of missing her. Wanting to pick her up and feel her fur and talk to her and hear her purry chirp.
And I would like to say officially: THIS IS A HORRIBLE SYSTEM.
How has humanity not just curled up and died from incurable loss?
I literally do not comprehend how people survive when it is human family.
I’ve been camped out in my tent of sadness… it was really unmanageable at first— the tent kept collapsing and trying to suffocate me.
But I think now I’ve got it packed into something more wheelbarrow-sized, which is nice and convenient because it’s portable, so when you have a breakdown outside your house, you have all the supplies.
Making this video was helpful, but also so sad… I can’t believe she’s really gone.
*If you can’t watch the video, try reloading the page, or being sure that you aren’t inside of the Facebook app… it seems to break the video.
I miss everything about her. Our conversations. Her smell. Her chirp. Her smoochy face. Her white feeties. Her wompy ear.
But I know she had a wonderful life and THE MOST LOVE, and that’s really the best that any of us can hope for in this life.
August 9, 2016 @ 11:22 am
I am very sorry that your lovely Elvis is gone. I’m not sure why I never before noticed the little black heart on her face – a precious mark on a precious girl. One day the happy memories will eclipse the awful pain.
August 9, 2016 @ 11:26 am
I love all cats in general, and my own beyond measure….. Words won’t help but my heart goes out to you and Paul. Elvis was a beauty.
August 9, 2016 @ 11:26 am
My heart goes out to all of you. I have been there too with our own Tuxedo Cat (black & white like Elvis). I enjoyed your video, and so many of the images could have been my kitty too doing the cat things they do. When you have a sweet cat in your life they forever change how you view the world. Your video showed how loving and adorable cats really are. The sadness will lesson and only the happy memories will remain.
August 9, 2016 @ 11:27 am
I just can’t. I am so sorry. God, I am just so sorry.
August 9, 2016 @ 11:28 am
Oh, I’m just bawling right alongside you! I am so so so so so so sorry! Elvis was an amazing cat, she was so cute and sweet. I love the picture of her in the green leaves and with the pearl necklace on. My heart aches for you. You take all the time you need to grieve and cry, it is so hard to lose a pet. I know she’ll be waiting in heaven for you, and watching over you too. (((hugs)))
August 9, 2016 @ 11:28 am
I am so sorry to hear of Elvis’s passing. Having to make the decision to let go is the hardest part about having a pet. I hope, in time, you will adopt another fur baby. You provided Elvis with the best home ever and there are so many in need. She was so fortunate to have you.
August 9, 2016 @ 11:29 am
So sorry for your loss. The love you shared is very inspiring, you will always have that. And I like to think she is in kitty heaven with such wonderful giant fancy things, you can’t even imagine. Big hugs.
August 9, 2016 @ 11:31 am
My heart goes out to both of you. You were so lucky to have such a wonderful fur baby and she was lucky to have you as well.
August 9, 2016 @ 11:32 am
I’m so desperately sorry. We lost our wee man Spike the Wonderkitty, on 29 August 2012, and we miss him every day. There is no pain quite like it, and I’m sorry you’re feeling it now.
August 9, 2016 @ 11:33 am
I am so sorry for your heartache, Victoria. She was a part of you, and I do understand that so well. She’s not gone, she’s just elsewhere, and you will see her again. As much as it hurts to be in the waiting period, it is temporary. Sending much love to you during your time of grief.
August 9, 2016 @ 11:34 am
Soooo sorry, I know just how you feel, I remeber missing the touch, feel and smell of cats fur. You have done the most selfless thing you can do for a pet, I knew you would know when it was time. Think of her at Rainbow Bridge, restored to health, happy and free. It will take a while for you to feel better but one day you will be ready to love another cat. None can replace Elvis but there are plenty who need your love and will adore you as Elvis did. Love and hugs xxx
August 9, 2016 @ 11:34 am
Heart breaking, but Elvis couldn’t have had a better home and family anywhere else. So sorry for your loss
August 9, 2016 @ 11:40 am
I was dreading when this news would be posted, I feel like I knew Elvis just because of everything you shared with us about her; I watched the video and could barely get to the end, such a beautiful tribute. loss of our pets leaves a huge void, and grief is a hard process that one cannot get over, just get through. She was one in a million and how wonderful that she shared her life with you and Paul, everyday. I will miss hearing about her and am so sorry for your loss, it’s the hardest thing about love. My prayers and thoughts are with you, as is my sorrow.
August 9, 2016 @ 11:42 am
What a gift you have Victoria…to live life and love fully and freely without apology. You are an inspiration to so many who hold back emotionally and physically. Elvis was one lucky and amazingly loved cat. Paul is a very lucky man to be married to such a creative, expressive, sensitive and loving woman. Your readers are also lucky to “know” and be inspired by such a strong personality. You make everything you touch, including Elvis, special.
August 9, 2016 @ 11:42 am
Oh, those Huckleberry friends. Shed tears for you & Elvis this morning, because I have several wheelbarrows & tents here myself…I’ll just scoot over, there’s room for yours as well. Elvis has some stellar company in her new place. And just to be clear, I’ve lost a lot of humans but never feel the ache of the loss of a companion animal to be any less painful. Love & hugs, my dear sister in grief.
August 9, 2016 @ 11:43 am
Losing a loved one is so incredibly hard, human or otherwise. What a lucky kitty to have had as much love as yours did. You gave her a wonderful life. I’m very sorry for your loss.
August 9, 2016 @ 11:43 am
I am so, so, so, so sorry. My heart breaks for you guys. I don’t know how we’re supposed to live with loss, either.
August 9, 2016 @ 11:43 am
elvis took all that love with him….all that you gave him as well as his cat memories. there’s heaven with animals in it…i’m a first believer in that. we lost a son very nearly his third birthday…the third of my half dozen children. i miss him every single day. the pain is still there…although the space between mommy-miss-yous is wider than it was. and i do have breakdowns from time to time…mostly because i miss the space where he is, what would have been his life, his children, his future…him. i can’t have pets because i know the inevitable will happen…we’ve had to have a dog and a cat put down and it devastates me. i know that life is also loss…but that doesn’t make it any easier for when the loss part comes. think on all the comfort, the love, the joy, the sweetness elvis brought you. i’m glad you made the video, because as hard as it is to watch it sometimes, it will do your heart good. hoping for peace and comfort and precious memories made bright for you.
August 9, 2016 @ 11:50 am
Weren’t you guys so very very lucky to have had Elvis a part of your family…………………..
I sympathize, but also share the wonderful love we give our cats and dogs, and just how much they love us.
August 9, 2016 @ 11:52 am
Oh Victoria I am so sorry. I am crying for you. Many thoughts/hugs/metaphorical giant pearl necklaces for you during this tragedy.