Elvis has left the building.
We put Elvis to sleep last Tuesday.
It was time.
She had not been eating well and she just wound down and down… Even after Paul had a very serious conversation where he explained to her: earth is for eaters; if you don’t eat, you can’t stay… nonconformists will not be tolerated.
The hospice vet came to the house in the morning. We held her on our bed, on her favorite blanket. We told her that she didnāt have to be afraid, and that we loved her more than anything, and she willĀ always still be here, right in our hearts, forever.
Elvis’s head was on my shoulder when she died. I hope she didnāt know what was happening.
An hour later we took her to be cremated.
We took her all the way to the machine because my heart hurt to think of her being alone, or with strangers; and I wanted to be with her as far as I couldā¦ I don’t think she knows any of that. But it mattered a lot to me.
Then we waited for her ashes and took her back home.
She’s got a little shrine right now, with lots of flowers from the garden, and her fuzzy ball, and the small dish of whiskers she shed/I found over the last 12 years.
Itās on the spot on the rug where she would RUN, as soon as you walked in the door; she would start doing her aerobics because she wasĀ so excited that you were going to pet her…Ā At night she comes upstairs to the bedside table.
When I’m ready she’ll get moved to the Elvis Memorial Library. (Previously known as Cleveland bookcase)
For twelve years, Elvis was basically half of myself, soĀ I expected to be sad. Really sad. Debilitatingly sad. But I didn’t understand the actual FRANTIC physical sensation of missing her. Wanting to pick her up and feel her fur and talk to her and hear her purry chirp.
And I would like to say officially: THIS IS A HORRIBLE SYSTEM.
How has humanity not just curled up and died from incurable loss?
I literally do not comprehend how people survive when it is human family.
Iāve been camped out in my tent of sadness… it was really unmanageable at firstā the tent kept collapsing and trying to suffocate me.
But I think now Iāve got it packed into something more wheelbarrow-sized, which is nice and convenient because it’s portable, so when youĀ have a breakdown outside your house, you have all the supplies.
Making this video was helpful, but also so sad… I can’t believe she’s really gone.
*If you can’t watch the video, try reloading the page, or being sure that you aren’t inside of the Facebook app… it seems to break the video.
I miss everything about her. Our conversations. Her smell. Her chirp. Her smoochy face. Her white feeties. Her wompy ear.
But I know she had a wonderful life and THE MOST LOVE, and that’s really the best that any of us can hope for in this life.
August 11, 2016 @ 8:07 pm
I’m very sorry for your loss. I went through it four times …one dog and three cats it never gets easier.
Your video was lovely and made me cry….
May time heal your heart
Pamela xo
August 11, 2016 @ 8:50 pm
I am so sorry for your loss. She was beautiful.
August 11, 2016 @ 9:24 pm
Many (((hugs)))
August 11, 2016 @ 10:26 pm
I am so sorry.
My little Lola has been gone for four months, and I unashamedly cry in public.
I loved that you saved whiskers. I saved random pieces of hair she shed, and put it with her toys and ashes.
She was loved. You were lucky to have her, she was lucky to have you. ?
August 12, 2016 @ 1:33 am
We had to put our two kitties down almost exactly a year apart and it broke my heart so much each time. I can help but remember they way their furs smelled and all the wonderful quirky strange things they did every day. My heart goes out to you both.
It was a great Elvis video. I love how you captured her side eye.
August 12, 2016 @ 10:33 am
i have been enjoying your stories on your remodel and now this….. i know how it feels to lose a furry member of the family. My JonJairo died of a kidney infection 2 years ago and we still miss him… my sister had 2 solid black cats for 20 years before they had to be put down.. they give you unconditional love and it does hurt to lose them. when you are feeling a little better, however, do think about rescueing a couple of cats. they have a lot of love to offer. or you could foster kittens….like I said, when you feel a little better.
August 12, 2016 @ 2:34 pm
So Sad to hear. Elvis was a cuddly fixture in your photos.
I lost my 14.5 YO Fur baby 15 months ago. So far, not crying is still beyond my capabilities. Sweet stories, anything of personal sorrow involving any pet or animal. The tears flow.
My other half is, apparently, more in control. Stating it was his time to go and he’s right. Poor Pugsly was in a lot of pain and slowly starving himself. The vet had no idea what was wrong and we didn’t have the money to help find a reason. Then; it was too late.
We buried him in the flower garden. We’re too old to have another, so that’s it, for us.
August 12, 2016 @ 8:59 pm
Thank you for sharing Elvis with us. Her and your love of her. You have expressed so perfectly what we feel and experience with our own pets. The joy, then the emptiness and the sadness of the loss of one who is so dear. She will live on in your heart and soul, forever.
August 13, 2016 @ 5:08 am
When a little black kitten with a wonky ear and white paws joined your family in 2004, you and Paul could never have imagined that people you’ve never met would shed tears at her passing. But here I am in Sydney, Australia feeling your sadness and loss as if I knew you and Elvis personally. Such is your gift for writing and sharing. I have often wondered why we expose ourselves to the pain of losing pets we love so dearly. But then, when we’re ready, off we go again, because a home without a pet just doesn’t feel like home. How lucky Elvis was to be with you, and how lucky the next little bundle of fur in need of love will be to join you. She won’t be Elvis, but she will create her own space in your heart.
August 13, 2016 @ 8:48 am
Can’t.Stop.Crying. I don’t know you or Elvis but I’m ridiculously sad for you and for me and my kitties who are still young and I can’t imagine losing already. I’m so sorry for your loss. Elvis was incredibly lucky to have you as her human. You celebrated her every day.
August 13, 2016 @ 11:10 am
Oh, how I know the pain in your heart! I still miss my little Friday who would purr at the suggestion of being picked up or petted…she never made an enemy, not even the dogs who would come up into our yard. Your pain won’t really go away, it just becomes part of you and the sweet memories of your Elvis will overcome it. Losing a pet is the closest thing to losing a child (which I have lost also); there is nothing quite like the love of a creature who has a pure heart and innocence. While on your shoulder Elvis only knew that she was free to leave her burdensome body and in the best way possible – in her human’s arms. She was weary and ready to go – you will see her again someday. When you are ready, the best way to honor her is to rescue another little tuxedo kitten with a cute little “curled” lip….much love and light to you and Paul.
August 13, 2016 @ 11:12 am
I am so very sorry for your loss. We have been through this painful journey with our beloved pets. It is heart wrenchingly painful but know with time you will be able to think of your beloved Elvis again with joy about the life lived and not the sadness over her passing. You gave her a wonderful life that is so evident in your posts and in your pictures. May you find comfort in the memories! — Sharon
August 13, 2016 @ 2:47 pm
We had our Lucky girl for 17 years. It was impossible to think of life without her. My youngest son could not remember life without Lucky. It took me 2 1/2 years to get over it and want another cat. I chose one that was completely opposite of her. I knew no other cat could take her place. I wanted a pet, but I didn’t want to try to replace her. And now we also have a companion for him. It is fun and sweet in a whole new way.But, Lucky will always be the best cat ever. She was part of our family. I totally understand your pain.
August 13, 2016 @ 2:55 pm
I am glad that Elvis had a wonderful, loving home with you and Paul….
Elvis lives on in your hearts and memories, and in the stories, photos and videos you have shared with us here on your blog – thank you for sharing your beautiful, funny Elvis.
I know you will miss her deeply and while that is very, VERY sad, it means that you loved her so much and gave her the best life a fur baby can enjoy. ((((HUGS))))
August 13, 2016 @ 3:10 pm
Rest in peace sweet, funny Elvis…..
August 13, 2016 @ 5:06 pm
I get an email when you’ve posted something new.
It’s taken me four days to come here. I have my own tiny little boxes, the last one just ten months ago.
Why am I crying? I didn’t REALLY know Elvis. I think Elvis’ loss reminds me of losing Chimera, Valcor, Aldebaran, and Ruffian.
I always say, āNever again.” Never again will I put myself though this…but, somehow, another tiny little being makes his or her way into my heart.
August 13, 2016 @ 10:22 pm
I’ve been reading you for a couple years, I love the way you tell a story and never cease to make me laugh out loud. I didn’t expect to cry over this but it broke my heart it a million tiny pieces. I am so, so, sorry for your loss.
August 14, 2016 @ 12:21 am
Just watched the video.
And now I am crying. What a gorgeous, beautifully done tribute to your beloved. I appreciate the courage it took to create the video; I am in awe.
My cat, Gilda, is now 17. And failing. It’s painful watching her decline, and I dread, dread having to make The Decision.
August 14, 2016 @ 12:31 am
This is the post I’ve been dreading for awhile and I’m so very sorry to hear about the loss of your sweet Elvis. I actually teared up when I saw the title. Having been through the death of a number of animal companions over the years, I can tell you that no matter how hard you try to prepare and steel yourself against it, the hole their absence leaves in your life is unfathomable and the silence is deafening. In February of 2013, just 2 weeks after putting my Cricket down, I started perusing the websites of all the local cat rescues because I couldn’t bear life without a furry presence – our house was just so empty without her. That brought us Chloe, an adorable tuxie who makes us laugh every day. Thank you for sharing Elvis and her antics with us readers and take heart in the knowledge that she was loved as much as any kitty possibly could have been, and you gave her a absolutely wonderful life. I will never forget your wonderful tribute to her when you first shared her illness with us – that was the definition of unconditional love. Sending great big hugs to you and Paul. Rest in peace, sweet Elvis!
August 14, 2016 @ 5:50 am
You will never really recover, but it will get easier. To love and be loved in return is a wonderful thing. Be gentle with yourself over the next few weeks especially. It will be surprising when it catches you and any sane person will totally understand.
Much love from our home to yours,
Shaz. Mick, Meg and Maggie xx
August 14, 2016 @ 9:29 am
Your last bit, it’s so true, and the one comfort anyone has at a time like this: she was loved, and loved well, and that’s the greatest thing any living creature on this earth can have in life. She was lucky to be loved by you.