Elvis has left the building.
We put Elvis to sleep last Tuesday.
It was time.
She had not been eating well and she just wound down and down… Even after Paul had a very serious conversation where he explained to her: earth is for eaters; if you don’t eat, you can’t stay… nonconformists will not be tolerated.
The hospice vet came to the house in the morning. We held her on our bed, on her favorite blanket. We told her that she didnāt have to be afraid, and that we loved her more than anything, and she willĀ always still be here, right in our hearts, forever.
Elvis’s head was on my shoulder when she died. I hope she didnāt know what was happening.
An hour later we took her to be cremated.
We took her all the way to the machine because my heart hurt to think of her being alone, or with strangers; and I wanted to be with her as far as I couldā¦ I don’t think she knows any of that. But it mattered a lot to me.
Then we waited for her ashes and took her back home.
She’s got a little shrine right now, with lots of flowers from the garden, and her fuzzy ball, and the small dish of whiskers she shed/I found over the last 12 years.
Itās on the spot on the rug where she would RUN, as soon as you walked in the door; she would start doing her aerobics because she wasĀ so excited that you were going to pet her…Ā At night she comes upstairs to the bedside table.
When I’m ready she’ll get moved to the Elvis Memorial Library. (Previously known as Cleveland bookcase)
For twelve years, Elvis was basically half of myself, soĀ I expected to be sad. Really sad. Debilitatingly sad. But I didn’t understand the actual FRANTIC physical sensation of missing her. Wanting to pick her up and feel her fur and talk to her and hear her purry chirp.
And I would like to say officially: THIS IS A HORRIBLE SYSTEM.
How has humanity not just curled up and died from incurable loss?
I literally do not comprehend how people survive when it is human family.
Iāve been camped out in my tent of sadness… it was really unmanageable at firstā the tent kept collapsing and trying to suffocate me.
But I think now Iāve got it packed into something more wheelbarrow-sized, which is nice and convenient because it’s portable, so when youĀ have a breakdown outside your house, you have all the supplies.
Making this video was helpful, but also so sad… I can’t believe she’s really gone.
*If you can’t watch the video, try reloading the page, or being sure that you aren’t inside of the Facebook app… it seems to break the video.
I miss everything about her. Our conversations. Her smell. Her chirp. Her smoochy face. Her white feeties. Her wompy ear.
But I know she had a wonderful life and THE MOST LOVE, and that’s really the best that any of us can hope for in this life.
August 10, 2016 @ 3:43 pm
Iām so very sorry for your loss. What a nice tribute.
August 10, 2016 @ 4:30 pm
I can’t watch it cause I can’t even see right now for the tears flooding my eyes. I know your loss well as I’ve been blessed with loving the sweetest little beings God could have given me. I’m sorry you’re in pain. It sucks. It really does. If only our pets could suck a little. You know, be assholes once in a while! Their innocent love is what makes it so dreadful! Virtual hugs to you!
August 10, 2016 @ 4:52 pm
(((Hugs)))
August 10, 2016 @ 6:49 pm
Oh dear. I’m so very sorry for your loss but please know that you gave her a great life. And while this may not feel good now, know you did everything you could and it was her time to go. Cats are simply the best.
August 10, 2016 @ 8:17 pm
So sorry for the loss of your Elvis. An awful, unfair part of being a pet person (“owner” just doesn’t seem right) is having to let them go to whatever is next years before us. Having to be responsible and saving them pain by putting a beloved cat or dog to sleep only makes it worse. We have been there twice so far, and have the tiny graves and clumsily-crafted cement tombstones out back to prove it. š
August 10, 2016 @ 9:19 pm
May i offer my deepest condolences. The love for any member of your family, pets included, and the grief process for that creature (2 OR 4 legs!) is very much the same. Those of us who experience that love, and even the grief, are the luckiest people. Give yourself permission to grieve (in any way short of self harm), and also to be happy. It doesnt go away-the missing, the sadness…-but it changes, becomes bearable, and is always a testament to your will to love, and the singular amazingness that was and is…Elvis. Again, i am so very sorry. Xo
August 10, 2016 @ 9:34 pm
I’m so sorry. It’s the only bad part about loving another living being, and it’s a really bad part.
August 10, 2016 @ 9:49 pm
I have never commented before, but have thoroughly enjoyed reading your blog. A good friend of mine referred you to me while we were remodeling years ago. You have a wonderful eye and an even better sense of humor that I find amazing.
I am writing to, of course, offer my sincerest condolences on your loss of Elvis. But, I wanted to also mention that those of us without pets can totally understand your heartbreak. Due to severe allergies I have never been able to have animals, but it is not hard to understand the love you can have for them. When your heart breaks from the loss of a loved one, time helps to fill that break with your wonderful memories of them and the time you shared. Cherish those memories.
Angela
August 10, 2016 @ 9:56 pm
Thank you so much for the beautiful video celebrating Elvis’ life. I’m crying watching it because I understand the pain of losing your fur buddy. Thank you for sharing Elvis with all of us.
August 10, 2016 @ 10:04 pm
Sorry for your loss…hugs.
August 10, 2016 @ 10:17 pm
So sorry to hear of your loss. It does get easier. We lost our beloved Patches two years ago. Losing and animal is as hard as losing a human being that you love. But it becomes easier with time and you realize that their spirit is still with us just not their cuddly body. After two years of trying to find the perfect tribute to honor our friend I found a beautiful stained glass piece of an angel orange tabby cat.. It now sits in one of his favorite windows in honor of our friend .
August 10, 2016 @ 10:20 pm
She knew she was loved. You can see it by the way she interacted with her human family. She probably thought she was human.
Losing a much loved pet is just as hard as losing a family member because the beloved pet was family.
August 11, 2016 @ 1:54 am
The loss of a pet is so massive… it’s a family member that leaves the deepest hole in your home. Sparky has been gone for a year and I still can’t believe it. I love how you are continuing to celebrate Elvis. Take care, my friend!
August 11, 2016 @ 3:42 am
Hello.
I’ve read your blog before and your love for gold guilded anything and so when my friend sent this to me tonite I realized I was being drawn to read it. You’re video made me cry so hard I can hardly breath. You’ve lost a child. I have too. On June 26th my dearest one Marshall a red short haired dauschaund was hit tragically and died in my right hand. I feel like the tent is still suffocating me. I too picked out that same song you made for Elvis how strange that two people who love decor are grieving the loss of a love a half of themselves and have never met. I might add Marshall too was born in 2004 as well. I’m eating your video and the oddest moment is when you have your baby in an old fashioned buggy why? bc that is the photo my sons father cherishes and has cried so hard over. I’ll be sure to someone attach it. I’m hurting for you literally. Elvis was so lucky to have you.
Best,
Cheyla Breedlove
August 11, 2016 @ 3:46 am
So sorry for your loss…she looks like such a sweet kitty.
August 11, 2016 @ 9:35 am
Dear Victoria – I am so sorry for the loss of Elvis. Sending you hugs and comfort during this time.
August 11, 2016 @ 1:57 pm
I’m so very, very sorry.
August 11, 2016 @ 3:17 pm
I just got the news and am so sad for your loss. Elvis was an incredible fur person and will be missed. Best to you and Paul, it can’t have been easy.
xo,
Karen
August 11, 2016 @ 5:18 pm
I’m am so sorry for your loss. I experienced a tragic loss in Novemeber and have since decided I hate the whole world because no one is being honest about how awful loss and grief is. I also hate the world because it kept going while I thought we should all stop and wait until I could be ready to go again. Turns out everyone moves on, and those who are grieving are left to get swallowed by heartache. May you and Paul have comfort in each other and your memories of sweet Elvis.
August 11, 2016 @ 6:07 pm
I am so sorry. They worm their way right into our hearts, don’t they? We had to have our 14-yo Lucy The Intrepid Senior Dog put down in May, but happily, we hit the jackpot on the rescue we subsequently adopted; Milady is Lucy squared. But when Hannibal The Fluffball Of Doom, our 13-yo black fluffy kitty, goes, I will be a basket case. I have had cats for 67 years, and he is The Best Ever. Elvis looks like a wonderful cat.