1. MAH
    December 17, 2014 @ 12:00 pm

    Alrighty now! You should get off your butt and get busy, no, no excuses! This is ridiculous, you knew Christmas was coming all year. Don’t expect me to feel sorry for you! Now you have made it impossible to enjoy the season and I have NO inspiration to do my decorating. Do you know the disappointment you have caused? Bah humbug. You know as a blogger you DO have the responsibility to be out of this world amazing.
    I hope you and Paul have a wonderful Christmas. Looking forward to the new year and more shenanigans from your house to mine.


  2. Garden, Home and Party
    December 17, 2014 @ 12:04 pm

    I love the writing on the mirror. I’m happy you’ll have your sanity this holiday season and your fans will get over it. There’s enough DIY ideas out there to keep us all busy between now and next Christmas!


  3. Sherry
    December 17, 2014 @ 12:13 pm

    Hi Victoria, your decorating ideas are terriffic, but, I come because you make me laugh– great big belly laughs! The red ribbon debaucle with Paul is what hooked me. I laughed and laughed and it felt good. My husband thought I’d lost it. I look forward to your comments and inspiring decorating ideas. Keep them coming.


  4. Anna Webb
    December 17, 2014 @ 12:14 pm

    “…why pass up buying extra crap you do not need if the crap can be had for a good price?” Another gem!!


  5. Sunnie Mitchell
    December 17, 2014 @ 12:21 pm

    How am I supposed to chose which of your posts this year is THE best one if you keep writing THE best one every single time you sit down to the keyboard?! Add me to the number of readers who MUST drop everything to read the moment a new post hits in the inbox. You, M’Lady, are my heroine!

    (Btw, last year THE best one was the one where you wrote ‘2014?! But I’m not finished with 2013 yet!’ I’m probably paraphrasing but that one was SOOOOOO good I wanted to embroider it on a tee-shirt or cushion cover, or crochet it into a filet piece to hang on the wall. I’m still thinking about that one. So’s ya know.)

    Happy Christmas, Victoria Elizabeth Barnes, from NE Scotland:)


    • Sunnie Mitchell
      December 17, 2014 @ 12:22 pm

      Heh. ‘Choose’, I meant ‘choose’!


  6. Carol
    December 17, 2014 @ 12:22 pm

    Was there NOTHING that Elvis could do?


  7. Mary
    December 17, 2014 @ 12:23 pm

    You gave us the best post ever! You are starting the kitchen! That is way better than a glitter cannon.
    Merry Christmas to you and Paul. Thanks for being such a happy spot in my day.


  8. Melissa
    December 17, 2014 @ 12:33 pm

    I was reaqlly looking forward to the afforementioned glitter cannon, but truly I don’t visit your blog for your crafts- I visit for your wit.
    Love you, always. Merry Christmas!


  9. Diane West
    December 17, 2014 @ 12:34 pm

    I haven’t read many of the other comments to this post, but…it sounds like you’re finally going to do the kitchen. YESSSS!!! That’s what I’ve been waiting for! Have a Merry! My reno might be done in January!


  10. Lily
    December 17, 2014 @ 12:48 pm

    I love everything about your writing. More than a galaxy of shiny intricate exotic interesting treasures. The buy the magnolia garland theory had me laughing out loud. (Also pretty much my way of life) keep on & Merry Christmas !


  11. teri
    December 17, 2014 @ 1:10 pm

    as an insomniac I have sometimes hammered the internet at night – all those cute little thingies at bargain prices and those lovely boxes being delivered. Half of it I gave to a local charity, the rest is bursting out of cupboards waiting for that same creative urge to revisit.

    But I still need to know what was in the boxes you so sensibly sent back. mwhhahahah


  12. marinela
    December 17, 2014 @ 1:46 pm

    Not disappointed at all, in fact the previous post left me just a smidge depressed . I love Christmas and usually like to do way too much~ 5 trees last year~but this year a 5-6 week renovation turned into a now going on 4 month nightmare~ so the only thing on my mantel are sheet rock dust and hand tools we are still using.

    Then in the middle of our dusty reno my only brother in law had non-alcoholic liver failure…he was so ill he needed a new liver transplant. Hospital visits replaced shopping and decorating.

    But when I saw the boxes in the last post, for a second I grieved for the Christmas I knew we would not have and the lights that would not brighten our homes this year….but then he got a gift, a new liver and although it has been a bit rough, our family is filled with joy, in fact we received have so many gifts already ~most of them the kind that can’t be wrapped and placed under a tree~in fact he will be home for Christmas 🙂 that I feel both my sister’s house and mine will glow just as much this Christmas as if the glitter troll had taken up hibernating here.

    Merry Christmas and thank you for keeping it real 🙂


    December 17, 2014 @ 2:27 pm

    DO NOT WORRY. Paul is handsome but wrong. He is possibly worth keeping anyway because he has all those saws and knows how to operate them. Or you could keep the saws and go to night classes to learn how to operate them. The mirror is lovely and so are the pillows. Which I may copy. The other possibility to consider is that you could get lots more cats to take the space Paul used to occupy. I myself have eleven dogs.


    • Maryanne
      December 24, 2014 @ 6:54 am



  14. Laura
    December 17, 2014 @ 3:59 pm

    Well, I have to say that Paul cannot blame me for any ramped-up expectations! My comment to your previous post was essentially: “whatever you decide to do will be lovely.” No demands, just an appreciation for all things Victoria Elizabeth Barnes. Oh, and I knew that “Merry and Bright” was from this year, because I was one of the ones who read last year’s as “Goy.” 😉


  15. KnittingKittens
    December 17, 2014 @ 4:27 pm

    You are great- why are you living in my head?! I too had such GRAND plans for Christmas this year but my stupid job takes 8 hours from every day. Most unfair!

    Whatever you do it will be great!
    I loved your how to make a bow video- you are even more awesome “in person”!


  16. Janet
    December 17, 2014 @ 4:31 pm

    Ha! Parallel worlds that we live in. Minimal decorating here too this year because we actually have been in a kitchen (and beyond, because why limit the chaos to just one room???) remodel since May. The sheetrock dust does resemble snow if you use your imagination… I actually sent my husband today to return a bunch of stuff from IKEA and Home Depot for the project(s). What a feeling to actually admit I made a mistake and send this stuff back. Amazing that #1 I was able to locate the receipts and #2 that the last date to return it hadn’t passed by. I love reading your posts – it’s fabulous knowing that there’s someone else on the planet with a similar outlook on life (and fancy things, LOL!) Merry Christmas!


  17. Caroline
    December 17, 2014 @ 4:51 pm

    Dear, dear Victoria, you are a treasure, and your thought process is glitter enough no matter how much or little you decorate. Christmas is hard, please take deep breaths and try not to fret about disappointing your readers. What they (we) actually love is your mind, your wit, your spirit, and having this chance to share your singular journey. All is well. Happy holidays!


  18. Nina
    December 17, 2014 @ 4:57 pm

    I come for the madness and cackling that your posts engender. If you occasionally draw back from the precipice to a slightly less intimidating level of awesomeness I’m ok with that because if I’m honest sometimes I fear the levels of stress you place on yourself and the thought that you may explode from it and never blog again is dreadful.

    I mean your basic awesome level is already so far beyond most people’s level of possiblity it’s ok to have a human moment.

    Merry Christmas


  19. Patricia
    December 17, 2014 @ 4:59 pm

    Reminds me of the tiny little man cave project my husband started in the basement in Oct which should have taken NO TIME AT ALL, in my humble opinion. Next thing I know, we have drifts of sheetrock dust getting sucked into the furnace and blown out on all three floors and it’s almost Christmas. And we’re having thirteen people over for Christmas dinner (not just dinner but a Victorian fantasy of a dinner with prime rib and stuffed mushrooms and twice baked potatoes and chocolate cherry torte with chocolate ganache and decorated with chocolate dipped cherries … yeah, I was a little tiny bit crazy back then). On December 23, carpets are laid in the man cave which meant we (hubs and me) could now clean every single horizontal surface in the house starting with the top floor and dusting, scrubbing and vaccumming our way downstairs.
    I was weeping with exhaustion by the time people finally left on Christmas day. I think you’d understand.
    And I never did anything like this again … until (but that’s another story).


  20. Tina
    December 17, 2014 @ 5:47 pm

    Life is too short! Enjoy the holidays with Paul, treasure your time together and have less stuff to put away when the new year hits.


  21. SmallerPlaces
    December 17, 2014 @ 6:50 pm

    The EXCITEMENT is that you’re about to dismantle the kitchen, which means KITCHEN REHAB. K-k-k-kitchen! Horrible kitchen! Take out a sledgehammer and wave bye-bye! (Sing to tune of your choice)

    Also, the magnolia garland has the virtue of being in scale with your house, so it is good.


  22. Julia
    December 17, 2014 @ 7:08 pm

    For all of us who pine for an Architectural Digest Meets Martha’s Crafty Elves Christmas. I pass this along. One of the smartest holiday ideas I ever saw was the annual decorating party my friends threw shortly after Thanksgiving. They would hit the stores in early Jan. to stick up on leftover ribbons & bows & Xmas tchotchkes &, yes, glitter. Then the day of the party they’d pick up greenery from clippings in their yard supplemented by a local nursery’s offerings. They’d pile the hoard on the dining table with floral wire, wire cutters, other support tools. Then the guests were responsible for decorating their entire house – tree too – while the hosts brewed big pots of chili & hot chocolate (which may have had the slightest hint of peppermint schnapps added). We all had a grand time & their house was completely unique but wonderful each year.


    • Patricia
      December 20, 2014 @ 8:56 am

      Julia, your friends are absolutely brilliant. I wonder how many years in a row they were able to get away with that? Me, I use the grandchildren (ages 2 and 8). As long as everything is unbreakable and I’m not too fussy about most of the decorations being hung at knee level, it’s beautiful! And I don’t have to put booze in their hot chocolate … Yes, they’ll work for sugar.


  23. randie
    December 17, 2014 @ 8:13 pm

    if it’s minimalism today, and glitter fairy tomorrow, it’s ALL good… what it really comes down to is the journey of life that you take us on, with all of its glittery ups and coal-smudged downs… we enjoy every moment that you bring to us with your wit and sarcastic humor.

    also, this year, i was secretly hoping the glitter fairy fell off her wand, since the closest i’m going to get to christmas decorating is moping up water and coal dust after the water pipe explosion that left me with 1/2 of a ceiling, a drowned couch, soggy floors, and the sweet sound of dehumidifiers and air movers for days on end.

    please continue to make us laugh until we cry… because we need it, and because it’s better than just crying! 🙂


  24. Vickie
    December 17, 2014 @ 9:26 pm

    Please don’t sacrifice yourself to the gods in the middle of the street. I couldn’t bear/bare/ whatever it. I agree with Randie – just keep making us laugh and don’t forget you have our undying love and adoration forever. Say the word and we’ll all be there with our glitter/glue/paint/nail/whatever guns.


  25. Mary Jordan
    December 17, 2014 @ 10:10 pm

    Oh Dear. The Glitter Troll was shipped out with the boxes of crap. I can understand how this could happen. Truly I can. Rest up this year. Take a break. Let the squirrel off the wheel. Rejoice in the peace. But dear Lord… Please don’t let this be a trend.


  26. Cheryl A.
    December 18, 2014 @ 12:26 am

    To quote Mark Darcy (as said to Bridget Jones) – “We love you. Just. the. way. you. are.”


  27. Adrian
    December 18, 2014 @ 2:26 am

    You are so funny! I love your decorating ideas but even more charming is your self-deprecating humor . Your personality sparkles – no need for glitter!

    Also, your decorations look beautiful and they are so creative!


  28. Cyndia
    December 18, 2014 @ 2:41 am

    I’m sure the Glitter Troll is out bugging the hell outta someone else right now. Don’t worry, he’ll be back next year, I’m sure.

    We are having a minimalist Christmas this year ourselves. Hubby got crazy last month and strung white icicle lights on the house, but that’s it. No kids are coming home this year, so we are taking ourselves off to Tybee Island, Georgia, where we will drown our (imaginary) christmas sorrows with low-country boil and fireworks on the pier on New Years’ Eve. Don’t you feel sorry for us?

    Happy Christmas!


  29. Carolyn
    December 18, 2014 @ 6:45 am

    So happy that you were able to put the brakes on and send back the crazed items. Sometimes we can go overboard and with the everything is new and more at Christmas. We can’t all do that and we should not feel that we have to. Changing the look of the mirror or using decor from the past is a wonderful way of simplifying. Thank you.


  30. Christine
    December 18, 2014 @ 8:13 am

    I’m with Caroline and Nina: We love you and your writing. For what it’s worth, I’m glad Paul convinced you to send the boxes back. Now you can enjoy (and think about your kitchen or whatever is next on your List)!

    BTW, a husband who can tell you ‘no’ to save you from yourself – if it’s an emergency – is a wonderful thing.

    Merry Christmas


  31. Reeves
    December 18, 2014 @ 10:56 am

    Love the way you own it.


  32. Donna
    December 18, 2014 @ 12:52 pm

    Last year I spent a gazillion dollars on decor & ornaments. I spent even more money AFTER Christmas on clearance stuff that was too good a price to pass up. I even gave up precious closet space indoors to store the expensive crap that was simply too nice to put in my garage storage. On thanksgiving I dutifully unpacked it all from storage and there it sits in my dining room. No tree, no decorations up, I actually still have Halloweeen pumpkin stuff out.– sort of stacked by the door. The thought of decorating just makes me TIRED! I’ve decided not to do it. I did however put a wreath on the door & a pic of last years tree on Facebook. Can’t have the neighbors & Internet ” friends” pointing & mocking.


  33. Nina
    December 18, 2014 @ 6:22 pm

    I have so much going on in my life that is unrelated to house projects that it is all I can do to keep the house clean at this point. I still read your blog and enjoy it though. So, gotta say, I am so happy for you that you sent the items back. Here is one [more] gal sending you over the internet approval!!


  34. Miss Mustard Seed
    December 18, 2014 @ 10:11 pm

    Yeah, I can’t believe how disappointing this is. My Christmas is ruined. 🙂

    I think all of the work that went into those pillow bows last year will soothe anyone wounded by the lack of a glittered Eiffel tower. There’s always next year…


  35. Melanie
    December 19, 2014 @ 1:54 am

    I am so NOT disappointed. In fact, I was a bit concerned about all those boxes and the pressure that they might put on your marriage. But your wonderful Paul convinced you to send them back because he was looking out for you. Because he decided to start the kitchen project.
    What? Who does that? Starting a kitchen remodel during the holidays?
    That’a new one to me. In all the years my hubby and I spent in the construction biz, we dreaded the holidays. Because the clients always had a drop dead date for their party or relatives visiting, and it all had to be perfect. We did our best, and had to laugh because it was so predictable. If there is a gltter troll, his relative has to be the remodel gremlin.
    BTW, you have wonderful fans. Thanks for all the grins and giggles.


  36. LurkerGirl
    December 19, 2014 @ 5:54 am

    Ok. Love you and please don’t go all I’m-done-with… I just couldn’t live without you. And my favorite of your stalkers Tammigirl. She has not responded and I am very concerned.


  37. Nancy
    December 19, 2014 @ 11:49 am

    Lowe’s sells a glitter Eiffel Tower.


  38. Violet
    December 20, 2014 @ 11:13 am

    I am weeping tears of sympathy. The Holiday Rabies got me bad this year. I vowed not to deal with the mess of a tree this year, and immediately started getting itchy. The box of un-used ornaments was like a Christmas version of The Telltale Heart, until I couldn’t take it anymore. Spying my (GFT) floor-lamp in the corner, the Weird Idea lightbulb went off. The lamp is shaped like 4 grapevines intertwined, with the lights themselves being bunches of grapes (the shades are made of fat, green frosted-glass beads).

    I wrapped strings of lights around it from top to bottom, stuck a bunch of red and silver glitter swags in it, and hung ornaments wherever they could find purchase. Then, I put a tree skirt around the base of the lamp, and stuck spruce-diffusers in it. Now there are gifts under the Christmas lamp. The rest of the ornaments were strung onto a single long piece of ribbon and hung from the ceiling in my dining room. Today, I am making a scented pinecone centerpiece for the coffee table. HELP ME.


    • judy
      December 20, 2014 @ 11:02 pm

      A. The telltale heart. Brilliant!
      B. I would pay money to see this “Tree Creation” does it resemble the illumination at the Mad Hatters Tea Party? Or will it be the creative hit of the Party? Or Both?


  39. Margaret
    December 20, 2014 @ 5:04 pm

    This is the year I am pretending to be Jewish. No tree, wreath, or festive vignettes at this house. The dozens of crates containing Christmas decorations are still carefully packed away. For the first time in eons I feel I am ahead of the game of life!


  40. Mary Wyatt
    December 21, 2014 @ 9:57 am

    Ya can’t buy minimalism on Craigslist.


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