An update of vital unimportance.
If you emailed me or sent me kitchen ideas in the last two weeks, I was having a crisis. And then the original crisis was totally eclipsed by a second… and now stuff has piled up to the point where everything is unmanageable. I may never dig out.
I sort of wanted to explain the crisis, but decided I couldn’t face the extensive typing it would require.
That’s one of the many problems with having a crisis AND a blog: the blog requires that you write everything down, and edit it, and find accompanying images, and compress them, and upload them, and think of a catchy title, and hope people share it on Facebook… and make sure your crisis is entertaining.
But the crisis makes you want to sit on the couch and watch Say Yes to the Dress. Which I’ve JUST discovered and am angry that no one told me about it before now.
It’s something that should fill me with scorn. But instead is so soothing that I want to watch it for hours until my brain melts out my ears.
A reader suggested in the comments last week that I look up the kitchen from Dynasty… and I didn’t even have to, because another reader found it for me (and hello? THAT HOUSE!)
And speaking of comments, if you are not reading them? You’re missing out on the best part.
Not only are you all far more entertaining than I am, you also seem a lot more organized and sensible.
You even have ways to make golf more interesting—pointing out that if played at 200 miles an hour, like Nascar… it would be riveting.
I’m planning to just turn the content over to you all, and dedicate my time to Craigslist and bridal-reality-television and looking at kitchen stuff I cannot remotely afford.
That is from The Enchanted Home’s house tour… Maybe everyone on the internet already knows about her, but until one of you evil people sent me the link, I didn’t…
I spent an hour going through her site and saying—what? What? WHAT IS THAT?
Her house confuses me. Like– I’m sorry? That’s your HOUSE?
I cannot even comprehend what that must be like.
It was sort of like finding out that aliens DO exist. And they have really nice stoves.
To her? A house is a place where everything is beautiful and perfect and finished and huge and the stove costs more than my car. And actually my car is really crappy, so that’s probably not even a good comparison.
To me, a house is where you live, and there is laundry on the floor, and sometimes the cat barfs and you are grateful if it’s on the hardwood and not the rug.
More like this:
So. Anyway. This post lacks any coherent theme or purpose. The crisis (and possibly reality TV) have made me dull. But also there is something pleasant about being able to hit publish on anything I want… Like I am rebelling against society’s expectations for topic-sentences and conclusion-paragraphs.
I do have a bunch of projects I want to share with you, but haven’t gotten around to photographing them. (See crisis, et al.)
We finished the medical table (almost) and I am so excited to say that we are FINALLY finishing the garden urn… it’s been a full year since we got it, and it took me this long to decide that it really did need to be overhauled.
We had it sandblasted because there was SO MUCH paint and rust that it was really the only way we’d get a totally clean surface. It’s ready to be picked up, so tonight or tomorrow we’ll see what we’re working with. I’ll post a photo on Facebook when we get it.
AND most exciting is that after three years of pestering– Paul has agreed to build me a glass-front bookcase in a small nook on the third floor.
I would show you a photo of the space, but I should really clean up first—so as to not actually verify any resemblance to the above photo.
I will love you EVEN MORE… if you share me with your friends.
Stephenie
September 11, 2013 @ 12:24 pm
Concerning The Enchanted Home…Ho..Wha…This can’t be real. Humans don’t live in places like that. Actors in movies that took place in the Jane Austin period live in houses like that. In this century? These places are expensive “bed and breakfasts”. I’m sorry, I need to go pick my jaw up off the floor now!
Dianne
September 11, 2013 @ 12:55 pm
Stumbled across this by accident: http://www.zillow.com/digs/country-kitchens-5081675774/
looks like a perfect kitchen.
But while you’re at it, you must add this room to your house: http://www.zillow.com/digs/tropical-patios-5292371276/
Jessica
September 11, 2013 @ 5:01 pm
Didn’t bother to check, but I’m guessing that house is in Texas. Houston or Dallas. I lived there for 10 years and all I can say about The Enchanted House is “Oh my! That’s remarkable!” Sorry, you can’t have a loggia and a conservatory. That’s cheating. She needs to get a handle on that ginger gar problem post-haste. I mean, lock it down, Nancy! I’m going to cover my feet in finger towels and play hockey on my kitchen island now. Love you, brilliant Victoria- keep writing.
Sydney
September 11, 2013 @ 11:03 pm
How to make your home look just like the Enchanted Homes. 1. Paint and upholster everything in white. 2. Add blue and white urns -preferably empty of former residents – to every surface and every room of the house. 3. Add custom balloon and london shades to every window. 3. Hang out in your loggia. Whatever the hell that is.
Anna
September 12, 2013 @ 1:03 am
Say Yes to the Dress even transcends culture and distance. I live in Australia and I love it. I really didn’t know why until you pointed out its cathartic effects. I have two small kids, a busy job, own our own business. It is like free Valium for your brain!!
Patience
September 12, 2013 @ 5:49 am
I’d never heard of that Enchanted Home either. I am dying over her loggia, but the word loggia makes me laugh a little because it reminds me of that ridiculous novelist in A Room With a View. My in laws had something similar at their house, only about 1/8 of the size, and we called it the “ladies’ porch” in mockery of the Junior League, who had a ladies’ porch at one of their ghastly show houses.
Kiki
September 12, 2013 @ 10:21 am
I have now roughly recovered from the (pleasant… pleasant?) shock of seeing the Enchanted Home and it took me a while to decide why this site made me rather uncomfortable. Are there REALLY people out there who ‘live’ like this? It can’t be…. I had nightmares afterwards, although I DO admire the stamina and undoubtedly good taste for decoration of the woman.
Then I tried for a few days to find out more about the ‘Say Yes to the dress’ series – never heard of, never seen any but boy, it seems to ring a bell with most of your ‘customers’…. and THEN I got totally lost in Grey Gardens.
But since then I’ve been following the comments on your page, I just confirm nearly everything I read – your readers are such a bunch of funny (in a good way), interesting, and knowledgable people that I actually shall shut up and enjoy the next installment of VEB’s feather. I too loved the cat watching you and I learned a new expression which I shall employ asap in my daily life: the cat bombing the picture!! 🙂
I do hope that all the 85 previous comments made you smile again and that they helped to lessen the crisis in your life.
Your Victorian spoilt friend in France
Lauren Z
September 12, 2013 @ 1:27 pm
Hey, Victoria!
I just watched “Grey Gardens” last night- not the lovely film starring Drew Barrymore et al, but the documentary shot by the Maysles brothers ($3 to rent!) and it is WILDLY STRANGE AND BEAUTIFUL AND HEARTBREAKING. I watched it with my very patient husband who said to me before he slipped off to bed, “Is that what you’re going to turn into? A crazy cat lady in an old house?” Ummm…. probably not, as I am not fond of cats…. but I will probably have the “crazy” and “old house” parts down pat. Anywho, thank you for sending me down this rabbit hole. I will never be the same after watching that film. There is something about women of that era/their imposing. silent husbands/great wealth/reclusive behavior/large estates/unfulfilled creative dreams that just fascinates me.
Pbkmaine
September 12, 2013 @ 3:46 pm
The Enchanted Home makes me appreciate even more my log cabin in the Maine woods. Where my loggia is called a screened porch. And my kitchen is the size of her kitchen island. Good Heavens, who needs all that room? Bless her heart.
Laura
September 12, 2013 @ 6:12 pm
In the spirit of “Why didn’t someone tell me about ‘Say Yes to the Dress’ sooner?” I will ask if you are familiar with sfgirlbybay, also by a Victoria? She seems to share your love of black and white interiors, though she is more about the mid-century modern. Still, if you haven’t seen it, you might like it. http://www.sfgirlbybay.com/
Jenny Loomans
September 12, 2013 @ 9:09 pm
The more I think about it and look at the photos of The Enchanted Homes tour, the less homelike it seems to me. The things that tip me over the edge are on “the Loggia” (which everyone else would call the porch): price tags. One of the bottom of a drinking glass, and in another photo, one on the couch. My daughter says it seems like a furniture showroom, or something on loan for promotional purposes. I’m over it, as a result.
I too was fascinated by the Grey Gardens blog, in a train-wreck kind of way. I’m glad the house was rescued, but the story of those two women has haunted me ever since.
Magali@TheLittleWhiteHouse
September 13, 2013 @ 4:05 pm
I just cheked that gorgeous kitchen you showed us and I think I can fit my entire house in her kitchen, probably twice, and maybe the garden and garage as well!!! At least, she must be in perfect shape, since she probably walk several miles a day just getting dinner ready. It must be so exhausting to realise you forgot the salt somewhere on the other side of the kitchen!!!
LaurieC
September 15, 2013 @ 2:21 am
Hi Victoria…. sorry to hear you had to deal with a crisis (two of them) … and I do hope things are smoothed out now! I visited the Enchanted Home tour – I was not at all impressed by it. That is not a “home”. Your house is a Home, and warm and inviting. Look forward to seeing your finished kitchen one day. And yes, I always love the comments on your blog, and other places as well. So much added information and knowledge gained by reading them! Also, I applaud you for replying to at least a few of the comments when you can. I think it’s a very nice thing for a blogger to do. So, thank you.
Colleen
September 16, 2013 @ 10:26 am
For your kitchen
http://www.pinterest.com/pin/178807047678771018/
Kourtney
September 16, 2013 @ 11:27 am
Hi Victoria, thanks for linking back to my blog when you used my pics from the kitchen of the Dynasty House. 🙂 I can’t get over that stove.
Anne Birch
September 18, 2013 @ 2:04 am
Please don’t say you have writers block Victoria. Noooooooooooooooooo.
Joann
September 19, 2013 @ 11:09 pm
Thank you. I only recently joined Houzz (which for me was a huge leap I don’t sign up for anything) which was where I found you. Yours is the first blog I ever read and I had to subscribe to you. You are hilarious and oh so accurate, I know about how if you see something nothing else will do. I read you when I am alone because I don’t want to explain the uncontrollable laughter. I also have sprayed coffee while reading and totally relating with your view of how things should be and I am looking forward to more. I love your house by the way it looks amazing. I fell in love with the river house too, the potential, I lost some sleep visualizing that one. Thanks again and can’t wait to hear what you have to say next. I never comment either although I enjoy reading them also ( not sure what you started here with me) . Thanks again.
MB
September 19, 2013 @ 11:26 pm
Please say all is well and the crisis is past. Only found your blog a month ago, but I’m addicted to your writing. Hoping to see an update that shows you back to your old self soon.
AmyEbbertHill
September 21, 2013 @ 9:30 pm
Hey, how are you?
I have a question totally unrelated to kitchens.
I cannot get the picture of that necklace you bought from Banana Republic out of my head and I am considering purchasing one from eBay. Now that you have owned it for a while, do you still love it? Has it moved from the rotating to the permanent collection?
Victoria Elizabeth Barnes
September 22, 2013 @ 7:09 am
I do love it… and up close, the colors are great. The large pins especially are really pretty. I’ve worn it mostly with a really casual deep-v, white tee, and linen pants… I’ve gotten endless complements on it.
For what it’s worth, I bought it when it was 40% off, so it was slightly less insanely expensive. But also? This seems like a trend that’s JUST getting started– so I can easily see myself falling in love with another one down the road. But theoretically you could always resell on eBay if you didn’t love it, right?
AmyEbbertHill
September 22, 2013 @ 2:49 pm
Well, now my Raccoon is gnawing on my eyeballs. Thank you for the reply, and yes, I think you are correct, next year we will be even more into the Sarah Coventry look. I think the Brits have been into this for a while now.
I enjoy reading your blog! As far as your kitchen goes, the Chinese have a saying, “Buy the best, you only cry once!”
AmyEbbertHill
September 28, 2013 @ 8:24 pm
Well, based on your encouragement, I purchased said necklace, and have received it and worn it once already. It is very pretty and makes it’s own quiet little statement. Actually, I was accosted by a woman in an antique store I walked through that day. She was totally entranced by the thing. Another woman at work couldn’t stop staring at it. She asked me to mention her in the will.
I love it. It was worth every penny! Thank you, Victoria. Let me know what else you find at the mall!
Christy G.
September 22, 2013 @ 4:38 pm
Hi