An update of vital unimportance.
If you emailed me or sent me kitchen ideas in the last two weeks, I was having a crisis. And then the original crisis was totally eclipsed by a second… and now stuff has piled up to the point where everything is unmanageable. I may never dig out.
I sort of wanted to explain the crisis, but decided I couldn’t face the extensive typing it would require.
That’s one of the many problems with having a crisis AND a blog: the blog requires that you write everything down, and edit it, and find accompanying images, and compress them, and upload them, and think of a catchy title, and hope people share it on Facebook… and make sure your crisis is entertaining.
But the crisis makes you want to sit on the couch and watch Say Yes to the Dress. Which I’ve JUST discovered and am angry that no one told me about it before now.
It’s something that should fill me with scorn. But instead is so soothing that I want to watch it for hours until my brain melts out my ears.
A reader suggested in the comments last week that I look up the kitchen from Dynasty… and I didn’t even have to, because another reader found it for me (and hello? THAT HOUSE!)
And speaking of comments, if you are not reading them? You’re missing out on the best part.
Not only are you all far more entertaining than I am, you also seem a lot more organized and sensible.
You even have ways to make golf more interesting—pointing out that if played at 200 miles an hour, like Nascar… it would be riveting.
I’m planning to just turn the content over to you all, and dedicate my time to Craigslist and bridal-reality-television and looking at kitchen stuff I cannot remotely afford.
That is from The Enchanted Home’s house tour… Maybe everyone on the internet already knows about her, but until one of you evil people sent me the link, I didn’t…
I spent an hour going through her site and saying—what? What? WHAT IS THAT?
Her house confuses me. Like– I’m sorry? That’s your HOUSE?
I cannot even comprehend what that must be like.
It was sort of like finding out that aliens DO exist. And they have really nice stoves.
To her? A house is a place where everything is beautiful and perfect and finished and huge and the stove costs more than my car. And actually my car is really crappy, so that’s probably not even a good comparison.
To me, a house is where you live, and there is laundry on the floor, and sometimes the cat barfs and you are grateful if it’s on the hardwood and not the rug.
More like this:
So. Anyway. This post lacks any coherent theme or purpose. The crisis (and possibly reality TV) have made me dull. But also there is something pleasant about being able to hit publish on anything I want… Like I am rebelling against society’s expectations for topic-sentences and conclusion-paragraphs.
I do have a bunch of projects I want to share with you, but haven’t gotten around to photographing them. (See crisis, et al.)
We finished the medical table (almost) and I am so excited to say that we are FINALLY finishing the garden urn… it’s been a full year since we got it, and it took me this long to decide that it really did need to be overhauled.
We had it sandblasted because there was SO MUCH paint and rust that it was really the only way we’d get a totally clean surface. It’s ready to be picked up, so tonight or tomorrow we’ll see what we’re working with. I’ll post a photo on Facebook when we get it.
AND most exciting is that after three years of pestering– Paul has agreed to build me a glass-front bookcase in a small nook on the third floor.
I would show you a photo of the space, but I should really clean up first—so as to not actually verify any resemblance to the above photo.
I will love you EVEN MORE… if you share me with your friends.
September 10, 2013 @ 10:54 am
Okay, so just came back from checking out your link to the Enchanted House… I think I got through two rooms before I had to shut it down. It’s a lie, I tell you! That can’t possibly be a house that someone lives in… there are too many things for kids or cats or clumsy husbands to knock over. And too much space. The kitchen island??? Sweet mama jama! There is no way that is functional! One would have to climb across the counter tops to reach anything in the middle. And I’ll bet it echoes… how can you have a proper conversation with echoing??? Nope… I prefer your house… chaos and beautiful things… that’s a house!
September 10, 2013 @ 11:55 am
It was the “I’ve only ‘done’ one room” comment that killed me the most about The Enchanted House! What does that even mean?!?!?
September 10, 2013 @ 12:02 pm
I could have spent all day trying to figure out which room it is.
I’m pretty sure that’s the Gilmore house. But where are Richard and Emily?
September 10, 2013 @ 11:01 am
Say Yes to the Dress may be the best mind-numbing, binge watching there is. It is like a cool compress when you have a headache…but you also get to say things like, “I’d never do that to MY daughter” which enable you to feel slightly superior – good thing when one is overwhelmed and the laundry is ankle deep in every room but the kitchen.
September 10, 2013 @ 11:04 am
As always your posts (crisis and all) put a smile on my face! I do wonder though why people feel the need to live in such massive homes? Oh, never mind, I know… they do not have to live “real” life and clean those massive homes themselves. Cat puked, pfft, no worries. “Oh Garçon, please go buy a new rug the cat puked”, except it wouldn’t be puked, more like, “Oh, Garçon, would you be a lovely boy and go purchase a new million dollar throw rug, the Chat-on has spewed”. How unfortunate. Oh well, back to hum-drum! xo
September 10, 2013 @ 11:06 am
The reason we follow you is because you are real and not perfect. What you are is what will be round you. We are around you because we understand your logic and adventures, as we too have been where you are; the cell is my favorite, because it validates other people do the same things I do . . .
September 10, 2013 @ 11:19 am
Oh, Hey Victoria, thanks SO MUCH (insert appropriate level of sarcasm) for posting the link to the The Enchanted Home’s house tour and all its eye-watering, drool-worthy magnificence. If you need me, I’ll be in the corner slitting my throat.
September 10, 2013 @ 11:23 am
Years ago, I thought I was going to die if I didn’t get one of those LaCanche or LaCornue or LaWhatever stoves. Now, that I am practically in my dotage, I realize that I would be forced to cook on it every day till I drop dead if I had done.
I won some plates on The Enchanted Home (which I was very happy about) but I had to quit showing photos of her house to my husband because it pissed him off. He thought I was making unfair comparisons…
Hope your crises have resolved and you get back to entertaining the rest of us soon.
September 11, 2013 @ 1:42 am
I agree about the LaWhatever stove, I just had to have a lovely Italian stove and cooktop and have spent the last decade coming to the rather sad realisation that my beautiful, to-die-for-kitchen (the real estate agents wording not mine) was always going to make my cooking look and taste rather ordinary by comparison.
One of my friends describes my culinary skills as more acquainted to ‘re-heating’ than actual cooking – and that’s a good thing – trust me. My actual attempts at cooking make re-heating remarkably attractive by comparison.
I can cook a jolly good roast however – in fact in my whizz-bang enormous oven I can cook two at once! So it’s not a complete waste of fab technology (and it looks good)!
Cheers
T
September 10, 2013 @ 11:28 am
I have a very real fear of living in Gray Gardens. My standard isn’t designer home, it is dog/cat barf/poop-less living. I think that is a pretty good goal and I’m not ashamed to admit it.
I’m sorry about your crises. If Say Yes to the Dress is soothing, it must be a terrible crises indeed. I was in an earthquake once and the only thing I wanted to do after that was watch reruns of 70s sitcoms. That was the level of stimulation I could take so I can see you are facing a similar dilemma.
Hang in there. You’ll dig yourself out. Just focus on only one small problem at a time. If you try to tackle the whole thing, you’ll find that you now can only watch Celebrity Poker.
September 10, 2013 @ 11:31 am
Okay, I just looked at the Enchanted Home blog, and at first my kid and I were like, “wow, I totally wouldn’t have paired that urn with that table and painting, but it’s a cool table and a cool painting,” and stuff like that. And then we began to notice things like there’s a burned-out lightbulb in one of the chandeliers, and we began to realize this really IS a home, and we began to respect her as a person. And then we decided that she is really Envious of your Mirror. And we were okay with it all.
September 10, 2013 @ 11:36 am
Victoria,
If it only took you three years to get a project done by your husband…give him a HUGE hug! I had the guest bathroom torn up (down to the studs!) for six years! All that worked was the toilet.
Sorry to hear you have/had a crisis, they do upend your life! Smile and enjoy your show, we all need something that allows us to “detox”. When I get so overwhelmed…I make a list, put it on the fridge and then ignore it for a couple of days. LOL
I enjoy your blog and hope your week gets better. Find something small to tackle and give it your all! 😀
September 10, 2013 @ 6:40 pm
Lisa: I read your comment [as we were told to do!] and I thought you said you would write a list and put it IN the fridge. All I could think of was “COOL” !
September 10, 2013 @ 11:42 am
The Enchanted house kitchen is hysterical! I can’t believe one person prepares meals in there alone (unless they have a miniature train which runs around the kitchen to get to all the cupboards. Hmm, interesting idea…) Suddenly I feel grateful for my slightly smallish kitchen, where the freezer lives in the hall.
September 10, 2013 @ 11:49 am
I L O V E D the Gray Garden’s documentary…. the real one, not the movie version… the real one… because it was weird… and sad… and painful… and real… and I LOVED IT.. that’s all
September 10, 2013 @ 12:06 pm
The Enchanted Home and some of the other over the top house blogs make me feel like I’m watching Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous the that creepster Robin Leach is going to pop out of the pantry in something inappropriate at any moment. Looked, Saw, Unliked. I’m a fan of the real homes that bloggers put their beauty sticks on and create magic. Not the Dr. Hubby gave me an unlimited credit card and my best friend is Tory Spelling’s anorexic decora-TOR blogs. Like yours. Cat (though I prefer dog) puke and all.
September 10, 2013 @ 12:16 pm
Wow, love the way the cat in the upper left totally photobombed the pic.
September 10, 2013 @ 12:16 pm
I didn’t know about the Enchanted Home either, so now you’ve done me in. What’s your favorite room? The loggia. THE LOGGIA? Oh. Me too. Except that is called my apartment balcony and I air out my musty luggage on it. Ha! ::crying in shame::
September 10, 2013 @ 12:24 pm
I don’t remember seeing that kitchen in Duck Dynasty. Oh no, perhaps I shouldn’t have mentioned another highly addictive, mind numbing reality TV show. La, la la – forget I said anything.
September 10, 2013 @ 12:35 pm
Thank you for the Grey Gardens post link. Seriously, I hadn’t heard of this house or the women until your notes today. (I know, I live under a rock!) But that image of Little Edie in her glorious kitchen above totally drew me in. Amazing squalor! It showed me that it really doesn’t matter what kind of house you have, it’s all the same if you are crazy.
September 10, 2013 @ 12:46 pm
I can’t deal with that ridiculous Enchanted Home blog. It’s not a home, it’s an airplane hanger with lots of really nice, really expensive stuff strategically placed in it. Fun to look at, but would you want to hang out and kick off your shoes there? Seems totally overwhelming. And her self indulgent comments…ugh, just the worst!!!!
September 10, 2013 @ 11:06 pm
My daughter and I were really catty, looking through it. The part that she liked best was on “the Loggia” (we used to call that a porch), one of the drinking glasses on the dining table was on its side, and the price tag was on the bottom.
September 10, 2013 @ 12:49 pm
Please remove my name from your email posts…have been unsuccessful in getting the “unfollow” option to work. Thank you.
September 10, 2013 @ 1:04 pm
Oh my! Here I was thinking you hadn’t emailed lately because you were busy buying kitchen stuff for the newly remodeled room. I hope the crisis has passed and that you have seen all episodes of Say Yes to the Dress. I watched it when our son was getting married and thanked the heavens that no one in our family was as crazy controlling as some of the people in the series.
The Enchanted Home is pretty amazing, but like one of your other readers, I don’t think I’d want a house the size of a small castle.
Hope the week ends up being better than the last.
xo,
Karen
September 10, 2013 @ 1:16 pm
You should write a book!