Only idiots stop to think before they purchase things.
One of the salvage yards in Philadelphia moved locations… their stuff was a mix of hipster nonsense and amazing architectural salvage. It was unusual and well-curated and hideously expensive– a fun place to browse.
The new owners had a demolition sale at the old location and Paul and I went over there to look on Saturday morning… there was almost nothing left in the building.
It was mostly trash.
And this.
I could feel my eyes heating up because you know how I feel about fancy hinges. And my instinct was to rip the tag off and RUN to pay for this new item of gloriousness which serves no purpose.
I was mid-rip when Paul said – are you sure? You have been so single-mindedly pursuing this OTHER THING… Are you sure you want to spend $200 on THIS? What will you even DO with it? Are you sure you aren’t just being distracted by shiny things?
Normally, I would defend my hoarding ferociously, while foaming at the mouth and scurrying protectively around my new item… But for the first time ever, Self wondered– is he right?
After all, WHY do I look at this and see some cross between Strahov Abbey, a 200-year-old French bakery, and the Titanic?
That makes no sense!
This is just an old, broken chalkboard.
Why WOULD I want that?
What would I DO with it?
Is this a mistake?
Obviously these are questions only an idiot asks themselves. But in the moment, I was swayed.
Yes, you read that correctly. I WALKED AWAY.
All the way home I felt a deep sense of disquiet and agitation. But it was tempered by the awareness that I am impulsive. And covetous. And distracted by shiny things… And I need to be careful that I am not buying things just because of the primordial MINE instinct.
Paul said – you are very quiet over there.
I said – yes… Self-thwarted GFT acquisition is a deeply uncomfortable experience. I’m not sure I did the right thing… I might have made a horrible mistake.
Maybe this is the thing that will give me not-buyer’s remorse for years.
Maybe decades.
MAYBE I HAVE RUINED MY ENTIRE LIFE.
I tried to be calm and remind myself that a broken chalkboard is NOT the key to my inner peace, and that material objects overall are a source of unhappiness and basically a distraction from the real meaning of life which everyone knows is cats.
But Self whispered – are you sure? Don’t you think that’s a gamble? What if those hinges ARE the meaning of life?
Do you really want someone ELSE to have it?
Why didn’t you buy it so we could BE SURE?
We could always sell it later if it turned out we didn’t NEED it.
We were about three minutes from home when I got out my phone and googled antique brass hinged chalkboard… just to see what I could have sold it for.
Self said— CONGRATULATIONS! You’re an idiot.
I said to Paul – Turnaround. TURNAROUND. TURNAROUND.
Then I reclined the seat and breathed deeply through my nose while chanting to myself: I’m an idiot, I’m an idiot, I’m an idiot… So that the universe understood that I knew I was an idiot and it did not need to mete out further punishment.
This was a completely amateur mistake for which there is no excuse.
I blame Paul for short-circuiting my natural thought process.
Please note:
1. I put the chalk in a charming antique teacup because I am a blogger and thus live only the most extraordinary of lifestyles.
2. It’s not going to sit on the floor… it’s going to get mounted to that wall at about the height of the picture frame.
*GFT= Giant Fancy Thing.
March 29, 2016 @ 4:03 pm
Very sharp Virginia. I love you and your family and your followers are wonderful in their comments. I would never not read every single comment-they are so great.
I need to run out for milk now or there will be no after dinner coffee this evening and without coffee my 75 year old heart is loathe to keep on ticking. My purchases tend to be small and lack fancy so you are carrying the GFT torch for us and you do it perfectly. Just the right amount of reservation,careful calculation and Hurrah! complete capitulation. My kind of Leader. Thanks for another great read. Your writing is the Spice of Life to me.
March 29, 2016 @ 4:24 pm
What a delightful/grand/awesome/heavy find! I was stressed-out reading, until the part where you actually said you got it. A treasure indeed, and to think of all the people who casually passed it by w/o recognizing how fabulous it is – Yay, you!
March 29, 2016 @ 5:13 pm
Without further adieu , I AM SO GLAD YOU WENT BACK AND PURCHASED IT!!!!!’
March 29, 2016 @ 5:58 pm
Seriously? I love it! I would have taken it home too. I prefer not to think of myself as a hoarder… I am just being prepared for any possible eventuality that might ever occur in my lifetime. Space? Who needs to have to deal with such trivial thoughts.. Who cares if I cannot park my car in the garage because of the giant oak vanity I hauled home?
I am in serious need of more things to hang on my walls.. I need better options of “thriftiness”. I LOVE your blog… your fantastic GTF’s.. And I’m so jealous!
March 29, 2016 @ 7:50 pm
That’ll learn him. Paul. To doubt the Hoard.
March 29, 2016 @ 8:27 pm
The moral of this week’s blog is Self Knows All. Believe it.
March 29, 2016 @ 8:43 pm
Great buy, I live outside of Philly and I wish I had known about this liquidation. How do you find these places?
March 29, 2016 @ 9:10 pm
http://www.predemolitionsales.com/
you can sign up to get email notifications of new sales… you know, so you can buy stuff you don’t need.
March 30, 2016 @ 12:06 pm
OMG…I have had the ultimate Eureka moment…You install the be u tee full chalkboard in the main Lobby of your Manse,consult the notices of GFT available for the Day. List all possible acquisitions and locations in order of avaricious priority and post same clear across all FOUR Boards.
This would give Mr. Paul plenty of notice to prepare the Van of Victory for all contingencies. Oh Happy Day…there will be multiple posts daily…Hourly?
March 30, 2016 @ 4:11 pm
Victoria – Would you share the name of the salvage yard that moved and/or the new location? I’m a Philly resident and would love to check it out (I promise minimal competition for GFTs).
March 29, 2016 @ 9:18 pm
Thank you for your wonderful posts! It is a highlight of my day! It’s nice to know there is someone else in the world that loves junk and a great deal as much as I! My best to Elvis-know how hard this is for all of you.
March 29, 2016 @ 9:20 pm
Omg omg omg! Victoria!!! I am so excited about this Arkansas GFT. I feel like I am getting it, I am that excited. I am currently in Rio de Janeiro and I don’t want to say your post was the highlight of my trip but I have defiantly been counting down the days to see if I would get a post from you while I was here. You didn’t disappoint. Love you!
And P.S. Paul, stop trying to talk sense into our lovely lady. I thought you were just here to help her move things, dance with her, and give her grudging support!
March 29, 2016 @ 9:23 pm
Also, it’s my birthday so thank you for the birthday post!
March 29, 2016 @ 10:50 pm
as I see it , you have two choices, you either go back and get it or you make it and I know you are clever enough to make it and …..Oh, I am here dying…..waiting to see a regular photograph of your kitchen with your piano (sans plinkings) …you know, just you and hubby with wine glasses klinking in toast to your gorgeousness in the kitchen!!!
March 29, 2016 @ 10:58 pm
I will never get to be the first comment, because, naturally I live so far south of you, everyone else is first. But never mind, YOU DID THE RIGHT THING!
March 29, 2016 @ 11:41 pm
You got it !!!!!!!!! Yay !!!!
March 30, 2016 @ 2:23 am
So glad you went back for the piece! It’s perfect on that wall… like it was meant to be. 🙂
March 30, 2016 @ 5:34 am
Have you thought of putting this treasure into your kitchen?? Like “recipes, whats for lunch today etc? ” It would look really great there ?
April 4, 2016 @ 9:30 pm
Angela, you’ve taken the words right out of my head! I think it would be fabulous in the kitchen – menus, lists, appointments and cute messages to
each other!
March 30, 2016 @ 8:31 am
i once saw a friendship quilt (you know, one of those quilts sewn in a group–in this case a women’s auxillary–where everyone signs a square and embroiders over it) at a monthly antiques market new my house. i saw it EVERY month for at least six months. it taunted me. i had to have it (but it was $300. for a quilt. and i was like 23.), but i convinced myself i didn’t NEED it. one month it wasn’t there. it’s been almost 15 years and i think about that quilt weekly. good job for not letting that fabulous chalkboard get away from you! i am proud!
March 30, 2016 @ 10:43 am
One should never listen to the husband in such a situation. As the saying goes “Shopping with your husband is like hunting with the game warden.” The most ridiculous question being, “where are you going to put it?” Brilliant purchase. I, too, am green with envy.
March 30, 2016 @ 1:00 pm
Don’t take this the wrong way but…you are my spirit animal. I used to go swing dancing when I lived outside of Philly; I dont think we ever met though. I love everything you write! Food for thought…could you hang the chalkboard horizontally in the kitchen? Think notes AND grocery lists. You might have wall space in the addition…?
March 30, 2016 @ 1:19 pm
I kinda feel pieces such as this are fated to belong to a special person. I was never into auctions or estate sales until I became friends with some women in the business of getting up at the crack of dawn to go ahuntin. One morning I left my number eleven ticket into a home so I missed the first best rush. So I hopelessly wandered a back stair. My finds: a complete set of coveted red/white staffordshire China plus serving pieces. Then I wandered out to the barn and found an old wooden wheelbarrow. We all went home happy but I’d scored best. And I was a virgin no more. It’s not the destination it’s the journey.
March 30, 2016 @ 8:05 pm
“Material objects overall are a source of unhappiness and basically a distraction from the real meaning of life which everyone knows is cats”
I’m going to make a banner of that. This is my new mantra.