Only idiots stop to think before they purchase things.
One of the salvage yards in Philadelphia moved locations… their stuff was a mix of hipster nonsense and amazing architectural salvage. It was unusual and well-curated and hideously expensive– a fun place to browse.
The new owners had a demolition sale at the old location and Paul and I went over there to look on Saturday morning… there was almost nothing left in the building.
It was mostly trash.
And this.
I could feel my eyes heating up because you know how I feel about fancy hinges. And my instinct was to rip the tag off and RUN to pay for this new item of gloriousness which serves no purpose.
I was mid-rip when Paul said – are you sure? You have been so single-mindedly pursuing this OTHER THING… Are you sure you want to spend $200 on THIS? What will you even DO with it? Are you sure you aren’t just being distracted by shiny things?
Normally, I would defend my hoarding ferociously, while foaming at the mouth and scurrying protectively around my new item… But for the first time ever, Self wondered– is he right?
After all, WHY do I look at this and see some cross between Strahov Abbey, a 200-year-old French bakery, and the Titanic?
That makes no sense!
This is just an old, broken chalkboard.
Why WOULD I want that?
What would I DO with it?
Is this a mistake?
Obviously these are questions only an idiot asks themselves. But in the moment, I was swayed.
Yes, you read that correctly. I WALKED AWAY.
All the way home I felt a deep sense of disquiet and agitation. But it was tempered by the awareness that I am impulsive. And covetous. And distracted by shiny things… And I need to be careful that I am not buying things just because of the primordial MINE instinct.
Paul said – you are very quiet over there.
I said – yes… Self-thwarted GFT acquisition is a deeply uncomfortable experience. I’m not sure I did the right thing… I might have made a horrible mistake.
Maybe this is the thing that will give me not-buyer’s remorse for years.
Maybe decades.
MAYBE I HAVE RUINED MY ENTIRE LIFE.
I tried to be calm and remind myself that a broken chalkboard is NOT the key to my inner peace, and that material objects overall are a source of unhappiness and basically a distraction from the real meaning of life which everyone knows is cats.
But Self whispered – are you sure? Don’t you think that’s a gamble? What if those hinges ARE the meaning of life?
Do you really want someone ELSE to have it?
Why didn’t you buy it so we could BE SURE?
We could always sell it later if it turned out we didn’t NEED it.
We were about three minutes from home when I got out my phone and googled antique brass hinged chalkboard… just to see what I could have sold it for.
Self said— CONGRATULATIONS! You’re an idiot.
I said to Paul – Turnaround. TURNAROUND. TURNAROUND.
Then I reclined the seat and breathed deeply through my nose while chanting to myself: I’m an idiot, I’m an idiot, I’m an idiot… So that the universe understood that I knew I was an idiot and it did not need to mete out further punishment.
This was a completely amateur mistake for which there is no excuse.
I blame Paul for short-circuiting my natural thought process.
Please note:
1. I put the chalk in a charming antique teacup because I am a blogger and thus live only the most extraordinary of lifestyles.
2. It’s not going to sit on the floor… it’s going to get mounted to that wall at about the height of the picture frame.
*GFT= Giant Fancy Thing.
May 23, 2016 @ 7:13 am
I just finished inhaling your entire blog. Thank you!
May 23, 2016 @ 7:52 pm
Love it!! Oh the many times I have missed out on a GFT because I didn’t listen to my inner HTHI (Have to Have it!) voice! Great purchase!
June 29, 2016 @ 4:13 pm
Your blog…….rocks!!!!
July 5, 2016 @ 11:38 am
It will be hard for you to believe but I just discovered you existed! I guess I’ve been hiding under a rock. I LOVE your posts… if I had a big house to fill and money with which to fill it I would be you! You are hysterically funny and it seems your husband is saintly. He obviously really really loves you. Where did you find him!?! Until I win the lottery and find that big house I will just live vicariously through you! (Craigslist IS great.. and estate sales and trash day.)
July 12, 2016 @ 11:20 am
So.Many.Sisters. Sometimes I think I’m all alone and then, BAM!, so many others like me. It’s good to find your tribe. Totally love the chalkboard!
July 23, 2016 @ 4:18 pm
I totally understand your dilemma I would have been sidetracked by my hubby too. I also would have looked it up. I don’t think I would have made it out of the parking lot. Lol
July 31, 2016 @ 10:50 am
Agreed…this was a NEED item. I can only imagine the self-deprecating feelings I myself would have had walking away from such a beauty!
September 25, 2016 @ 6:21 pm
So, I told your story to my hubby while showing him the photo of the ‘thing’ and explaining how your hubby thwarted your acquisition intuition, and pointed out how my hubby always tries to do that too, and then I scrolled up to the photo of the value of the ‘thing’ and explained, with great patience and understanding, that the moral to the story is…
‘The wife is ALWAYS right’ (in case he still had any doubts.)
September 29, 2016 @ 3:44 pm
Yes!! Oh, wow. I was sweating this story out. I mean, my heart was racing that SURELY you did not leave this behind!! Thank you so much for coming to your senses. Also, good job to Paul for turning it around!!
October 18, 2016 @ 7:48 am
Mercy. I’ve found my honest to goodness twin in YOU, Elizabeth. You express my own feelings to a T. A true T. Not an i or other alphabet letter that means nothing. I’ve found my twin. They say (who are “they” anyway?) that we all have a twin in this life. Well…you are it, my OCD friend. I’ve had my John stop for this or that along side the road- and while he hates to “drag home more junk” as he puts it- I’m sitting on the other side of the truck beaming and plotting about where said road side item will land in or around our home.
It’s a fine line between marriage and divorce- we have crossed that line back and forth in our conversations while hauling home more “junk”. Fun times.
October 19, 2016 @ 11:45 am
I thought I was the only one who argued with her Self! ? Awesome find!
October 23, 2016 @ 9:17 pm
I am completely, totally, madly in love with you!
October 28, 2016 @ 10:40 am
Way to recover and triumph! $200 would have been steep for me, but it is an awesome find! Congrats!
October 31, 2016 @ 7:28 am
THAT is an awesome find! I’m so glad you looked it up. It’s beautiful. Great story too!!
November 8, 2016 @ 9:56 pm
Ohhhh I love that Giant Fancy Thing! It is now placed in my list of TINKIWBNHTH
Things I Never Knew I Wanted But Now Have To Have.
I am so happy it was there for you when you went back!
November 10, 2016 @ 11:47 am
I’ve allowed my very sensible husband to talk me out of a thing or two and each time I think, “now why did I do that”.
Not anymore!!
Kudos to you.. enjoy your very special find..
I say here here to shiny things!
November 12, 2016 @ 6:51 am
OMG! I do that all the time, talk myself out of something and have to go back and get it! Hoping it’s still there the whole way back! Lol
January 27, 2017 @ 7:24 pm
Oh my gosh girl you had me giggling uncontrollably lol. Thanks for sharing this. Im so with you on the thought process 🙂
August 3, 2017 @ 2:01 am
Victoria, You are awesome, you and your husband Paul a real life “Hollywood” love story. Glad there are people like you both in this world. I came across one of your stories a day ago and laughed none stop and continue to enjoy each adventure you’ve shared. Your home is beautiful. I’ve looked for a blog on your living room “coffee” table. It looks like it was repurposed. Would love to know the story behind that piece. A forever fan that shares your love of a bygone age, kitties and the thrill of a great deal.
Joyce S. Ravenna, MI
May 21, 2018 @ 5:34 pm
Proposal servant moved:
http://curtis.forum.telrock.net