I was scammed on Craigslist.
We’ve established that Craigslist is the source of all awesomeness. But it’s also the source of the dumbest thing I’ve ever done. And now that we know each other so well, I think it’s time I told you the story of how I was scammed out of $200.
NOT because the internet is a scary place full of evil people.
NOT due to some sophisticated bait and switch.
Not for any reason at all, other than because I did not stop to apply rational thought to the experience I was having.
Instead, I did what I do best—charged past red-flag after red-flag… gleefully digging my own grave. And I will say this about myself—no one digs a grave like me.
In the last year, I’ve heard the phrase “under the ether.” To describe how scammers depend on emotion replacing common sense. And how people who are taken by scammers later wonder how they did not take five seconds to just THINK about whether this was a likely situation… because FIVE SECONDS is all you need to realize you are being an idiot.
Having had that exact experience, I was able to nod and congratulate myself on being totally textbook.
So. Last year my dad lost his iPhone. He put it on top of his car… and drove away.
I put an ad on Craigslist.
I should emphasize that I did NOT expect a response to my Craigslist ad. If you’re familiar with Philadelphia, you’ll recognize this is not a neighborhood where you might expect to have your phone returned and I credit the element of surprise, combined with my eagerness to believe the unbelievable, combined with my natural idiocy… which allowed me to dispense with reason.
It was a Monday. Around 10 a.m. I was sitting at my desk and my cell phone rang.
The guy on the other end said—I think I have your phone.
I freaked out.
He said—can you verify the color of the case?
And? Brace yourself.
I’m sure this will surprise you as much as it did me:
Amazingly, it was the EXACT same case.
Amazing, right?
Amazing.
Plus? It was totally amazing how he’d been visiting his brother in Philadelphia and bought the phone from a kid on the street… and now that he was on his way home, he mentioned to his wife that he bought it. And she chided him that it was probably stolen… but now he was in North Carolina. And the phone was dead, so he couldn’t look to see whose it was. But his wife looked on Craigslist and made him call me. And now he was checking out of his hotel and wanted to get on the road, and could send it to me overnight if I wired him money through Western Union.
From the page on craigslist dedicated to making sure idiots are protected from themselves:
I cannot say the guy’s story made total sense to me, because there was no point at which I applied any sense to the conversation. My only response was JOY that I had recovered my dad’s phone.
I accepted it at face value. And as scam stories go, I think it was pretty decent… I mean, it’s better than the Nigerian prince.
AND? The real kicker was that he paid $50 for it, and that was ALL he wanted. Plus shipping.
He did NOT want the $300 reward.
But I was like, oh my God you are so amazing.
And your WIFE!!! SHE is so amazing.
And my dad is going to be so amazed!
And I cannot believe this worked out so amazingly.
AMAZING.
So I insisted—I AM SENDING YOU $200.
BECAUSE YOU ARE SO AMAZING.
Plus, I was practically getting a bargain.
I was saving $100!
Then I RAN to Western Union. Because this amazing guy was on the road, and wanted to mail it out that morning, and he didn’t have too much time, and I had to do it RIGHT AWAY.
Then I called Paul and said—you will NOT believe what just happened!!!
Meaning my good fortune.
Meaning the amazingness.
Meaning the incredible generosity of the human spirit and Craigslist’s near-cosmic ability to solve all of life’s woes.
Paul said— are you sure? That sounds like a scam.
And then immediately I was like—DAMMIT.
That was totally a scam.
Once Paul said those words, there wasn’t even any transition period where my brain tried to deny it. IMMEDIATELY the spell was broken. And I sat there totally confused how I had done something so obviously stupid. I mean, I’ve done plenty of stupid things that were arguably avoidable, but not like this. Not SO OBVIOUS.
Paul said—look, I can’t talk right now, but I will make fun of you as soon as I get home.
Be sure you’re there.
Then the rest of the day he texted me stuff like:
Arkansas is NOT for sale.
And:
DO NOT BUY ARKANSAS.
But when Paul got home, he didn’t mock me. He said that he’d decided I couldn’t actually claim to have been scammed at all. Since being scammed requires some level of hesitancy or inquisitiveness– a suspension of disbelief rather than just plowing forward without thought.
I wasn’t even angry at the guy. My eagerness was such that he must have several times thought that I was scamming him.
My principal feeling was embarrassment. At being the dumbest target ever.
I COULD have been scammed for $50 dollars plus $30 for imaginary overnight shipping.
But no. I had to INSIST on sending extra.
This was so mortifying I couldn’t tell anyone.
If my brothers find out? I will NEVER hear the end of it.
When I’m on my deathbed, they will hobble in with their walkers and their oxygen tanks, and they will be sure it’s the last thing I think of before I die.
They will say things like—hey Vic? Can you hear us? Remember the time you gave that guy extra money to scam you?
And also—hey Vic? Remember that time you bought your own gas cap?
And I will come out of my coma and be like—HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW THAT I WAS BEING SCAMMED WITH MY GAS CAP???????
Then I will die.
I think of myself as being a great judge of people.
But after being presented with some pretty fundamental evidence to the contrary, I think I need to reevaluate.
July 21, 2013 @ 10:50 pm
So… what did your brothers say now that you’ve blabbed this to the world? Dying to know..!!love the read, thanks
July 22, 2013 @ 5:04 pm
I can not stop laughing.
July 22, 2013 @ 8:21 pm
I join the bandwagon- we all are fair game for scammers- with the exception of the Nigerian prince that even my 86 year old mother (who loves everyone) knows to say “nyet” to. Like the massive response audience, i love your blog. I too love all under the radar sources for “treasures”. My spouse does not fall into the “paul” category – we have been married for 25 years and he finally said ” wait a minute, you don’t have an aunt in maine…” This is after. 25 years of fake dead and alive relatives that were responsible for some item that appeared in our home. Also, i am from texas and live in nyc so i especially appreciate women that are f-u-n-n-y.
July 23, 2013 @ 10:04 am
Well now you have me thinking of a recent transaction of mine on my Facebook page. Time to go fall on my sword and call my husband.
Thanks for the warning, wish I read this a couple days ago, Diane
Honey Stop The Car Vintage
July 23, 2013 @ 10:17 am
Scammers suck 🙁 I’m sorry!
July 24, 2013 @ 10:45 pm
Ummm… have you seen the Craigslist documentary? It’s basically the greatest thing ever put on film!
I’ve been able to avoid CL scams, but I am still bitter about the time three devilishly handsome male specimen scammed me out of about $30 for magazine subscriptions. I was 19 and they were flirty so I’m pretty sure the conversation was something to the effect of “Hey to you too. Magazines? Sure, here’s some cash. You’re beefy and tan so you must be honest. Sure I’ll make out with you.” And then nobody made out and no magazines arrived.
July 29, 2013 @ 10:41 am
Hilarious! Thanks for sharing. I was also scammed once through Craigslist. Very sad day- I lost $750 PLUS western union charges you to send money. So extra. I paid extra money in fees to be scammed. It gets worse. I contacted my scammer to let them know I was not going to pay the extra fee money and that they needed to agree to send me a check for the difference before I would release the western union info to them. Of course they agreed. So I had time to think about it and I still failed.
Otherwise Craigslist is my jam. Just only meet in person and no sending of money orders. Also be careful not to be murdered. Lesson learned.
July 31, 2013 @ 7:34 pm
Your blog is fab u lous. Your writing is great. I got here from Houzz. The article you wrote for them was great – so right about everything. THANKS For SHARING.
August 1, 2013 @ 12:57 am
The idea that your brothers would want to taunt you on your death bed was TOO funny – plus the picture which followed of your tombstone was hilarious. Thanks for the laugh – I needed it!
August 2, 2013 @ 11:53 pm
I love it! You are awesome for sharing your stories. If this happened to me, I am so gullible that I would have still been hoping for the phone to show up in the mail.
FYI, if the gas cap thing ever happens again or to anyone else and you wonder if you were just ditzy last time and forgot it remember this, if you don’t properly secure your gas cap, your check engine light goes on. I wonder what he would have said if you would have called him on it? Insist it was gone and keep your cap? or Oh yeah, this one in my hand IS yours?
August 5, 2013 @ 11:21 pm
I have tears rolling down my face, I’m afraid I might wake the kids up.
Thanks for sharing
August 6, 2013 @ 12:03 pm
Hi Victoria, I love reading your blog. I furnished my home off the Free section of Craigslist a few years ago and used to get such a kick out of the stuff you see there. I was amazed at how many (unfit for human consumption) free couches there were, so for a less-than-busy summer month I started a blog about them called Crugslist (a cross between Craigslist and Go Fug Yourself). I thought you might enjoy reading it. http://gocrugyourself.wordpress.com/2010/07/07/guest-crug/
I look forward to reading your adventures!
August 16, 2013 @ 8:04 am
So glad I took the time to follow the link to your blog! Thank you Rhoda at http://southernhospitalityblog.com On a blah morning you gave me something to smile about! My take on this is what a Big Heart you have, insisting on paying more! I hear you…if someone’s going to pull the wool over our eyes..we might as well go for the whole sweater! I look so forward to your posts and subscribed before I even finished this entry. As a newbie blogger I haven’t even gotten off the ground yet because I spend so much time reading the wonderful bloggers I aspire to be like. Thanks for the inspiration!
August 21, 2013 @ 10:43 am
I just found a cellphone that looks just like the one your dad may have lost that you didn”t describe
im in new york
they give away bridges here cheap!!!!
xoxoxoxo
August 21, 2013 @ 10:53 pm
This is my favorite post yet, I haven’t laughed so much in ages. Found your blog thanks to Rhoda at Southern Hospitality. We’re renovating a 130 year old house in Marietta GA so I know how much fun you’ve been having. Glad your sense of humor ( & your marriage) are intact. Now if I could just get you to send me a couple of those awesome mirrors we could be BFF.
October 8, 2013 @ 12:12 am
I am crying I am laughing so hard!!! Thank you!! Thank you for this story
December 10, 2013 @ 2:53 pm
Thanks for posting this lively story! It was great fun to read, it makes the Craigslist warnings memorable, and it’s reassuring to those of us who tend to be paralyzed by the fear of screwing up. Everyone screws up, whether by acting on impulse or failing to act for fear of regrets, and it’s usually not fatal, as your blog demonstrates.
January 24, 2014 @ 1:10 pm
Thanks for sharing your story. I got this exact same call this morning at work “You lost a ring, what’s it look like? I paid a kid, wife insisted I call you… ” I was hesitant and he must have been spooked and he said he would call back later. I suspected it was a scam, but I was also terrified that he had it and I let it slip away. Now I’m reading this and relieved I didn’t jump in. Sorry for you trouble though.
February 4, 2014 @ 6:48 pm
This is the BEST line – a bit understated and so funny: “look, I can’t talk right now, but I will make fun of you as soon as I get home. Be sure you’re there.”
I’m going to try this line on my husband some time!
February 19, 2014 @ 11:37 pm
If it makes you feel better, I missed a bonus question on a test….”who’s buried in Grant’s Tomb?” Love your posts!