73 Comments

  1. Fiona
    December 6, 2013 @ 10:12 am

    I might try this with my daughter, although I can see myself cutting out, like, three and being done.

    Your husband’s comment about Martha was hilarious. I heard her on NPR a few months ago, recounting (at the host’s request) how she had liked and dated Anthony Hopkins, but got too freaked out when she thought about him as Hannibal Lecter, so it never progressed further. She was actually really, really funny.

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  2. Doderama
    December 6, 2013 @ 10:13 am

    yay!

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  3. consuelo saah baehr
    December 6, 2013 @ 10:16 am

    This is so far from my area of interest except I do gravitate to people who take the crazy road.
    As for decorations – I have one neon xmas tree shape that I hang on the door and light up at 6.p.m.

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  4. Mellissa Rose
    December 6, 2013 @ 10:16 am

    My fear is that I would have glitter throughout my home all year long. Did it get EVERYWHERE?!?

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    • Yvonne Angus
      December 14, 2013 @ 10:52 am

      Melissa, I’m still finding glitter in my house from THREE houses ago! Glitter just naturally multiplies! But, if you just think of the wonderful events from which said glitter was born, you won’t mind brushing it off once in a while!

      Reply

  5. Leslie Cavell
    December 6, 2013 @ 10:16 am

    Victoria Elizabeth,

    I love to read your posts but I feel like I must give you a heads up on Martha. I fell victim, when I was trying to be just like Martha, and found that I could not live up to the ideal. In fact, I was driving myself nuts one year when I did not have time to hand print all of my Christmas wrap and I decided that I needed an intervention with myself. I think Martha is wonderful and I would like to run a business empire like hers–but remember she has STAFF to help her! For those of us who do not have regular staff, remember not to fall into the Martha trap!

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    • Margaret Eaton
      December 6, 2013 @ 3:53 pm

      Victoria has staff. Named Paul. 🙂

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    • DB
      December 18, 2013 @ 1:17 pm

      Have followed Martha since she started. Still have her first VHS tape. But, I never leave a bookstore without moving a copy of one of her books from Crafts Section to the Fiction Section.

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  6. Leslie Cavell
    December 6, 2013 @ 10:17 am

    PS I wish my Christmas decorations looked like yours!

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  7. Patina and Company
    December 6, 2013 @ 10:21 am

    Hoarding of boxes, step right this way. Should you ever run out of boxes for a project, don’t worry, I have saved enough for both of us. Or perhaps next time you would like to make them out of old, retired metal cookie sheets instead? Seriously, it won’t do anything for your marriage but think how long the snowflakes would last!

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    • Yvonne Angus
      December 14, 2013 @ 10:54 am

      I have plenty of cleaned styrofoam meat trays at your disposal! 😉

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  8. karen
    December 6, 2013 @ 10:21 am

    Dear Victoria,
    Your post just popped up and I want you to know that it made my day and made me grin, and laugh, and hoot, and drool but probably not in that order. I will definitely share and pin and share. I was worried that you haven’t posted since your tutorial on making bows and that you had that breakdown/meltdown that Paul predicted……..glad all is well in your Christmas garland world! xoxox

    Reply

  9. Patricia
    December 6, 2013 @ 10:24 am

    The snowflakes were worth driving your husband slightly insane. They look fabulous!

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  10. Anonyomous for My Protection
    December 6, 2013 @ 10:24 am

    Having had an attack of pitifulness lately….not my usual outlook since I’m actually a dedicated counter of blessings…..I needed this laugh today. I will get over the attack and know it is temporary due to being stretched too thin to do all I need to do, but the laugh will stay with me. True public service, young lady.

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  11. Nancy
    December 6, 2013 @ 10:27 am

    Girl, love love love these! And esp love reading your posts!

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  12. Mary Engelbreit
    December 6, 2013 @ 10:31 am

    Victoria, I love your blog! However, I feel compelled to tell you (really, I feel compelled to tell Paul) that they have unpainted cardboard snowflake shapes , all sizes, at Michaels. They actually have ALREADY GLITTERED snowflakes, ready to hang, at lots of gift and Christmas stores. While I love making useless things, as you can see on my Instagram thing, I’ve never understood making things, ala Martha Stewart, that you can just go out and buy.
    Just trying to help. (Paul).
    By the way, your house is fabulous and your taste is impeccable!

    Reply

    • Judy
      December 9, 2013 @ 10:41 am

      Oh my goodness. Mary! Love your work.

      Reply

  13. Brenda Schweder
    December 6, 2013 @ 10:31 am

    You should know I only subscribe to one blog — yours! And this time you had me at:
    “I really should have made the cardboard myself, out of recycled leaves that I chewed into paste.”
    There are tears in my eyes!
    Love ‘ya!, Elizabeth!
    oxox!

    Reply

  14. Joanne
    December 6, 2013 @ 10:41 am

    Silly me! Who knew that the mega pile of boxes in the garage had a bigger purpose in mind? All the while, I’ve been using them for our rolling move to New Orleans when I could be creating a veritable blizzard! Now I just need to get my husband to buy into this new and preferred method of “breaking down” the cardboard boxes;) Watch the weather reports for New Orleans for unexpected winter weather.
    (P.S.- your posts, Victoria, make me weep from laughter! Not sure the general pop can relate, but obviously there are more than a few of us project junkies out here!)

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  15. tammigirl
    December 6, 2013 @ 10:43 am

    I just took a van load of saved-not-hoarded cardboard boxes in perfect condition to the transfer station yesterday. Along with an old grill and a broken hall tree which I not only did not repair and use in my house, but I did not even remove the hooks from it. My family sees this as ‘progress’ and a ‘good day’. I see it as weakness, but comfort myself with the idea that I may well be perfecting laziness. If only someone else could have cleaned the garage and hauled all the stuff off to the transfer station.

    Martha Stewart is divorced. Probably because her husband didn’t want to cut out cardboard snowflakes. Or use the shop vac on decades-old hanging files while cleaning the garage.

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  16. Gay Sullivan
    December 6, 2013 @ 10:44 am

    With the leaves in my yard I could make cardboard for the world….and maybe work off my double chin!! Love your posts. They always make me chuckle.

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  17. Mary Buzzell
    December 6, 2013 @ 10:47 am

    I LOVE, LOVE Paul. He is awesome. Your house looks fabulous. Your snowflakes are so wonderful. I love that they are so large! 🙂

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  18. Janice S.
    December 6, 2013 @ 10:52 am

    How is it you don’t have a TV show yet?

    Note for future cutting: try an electric knife, the kind used for carving turkey. It’s also the BEST way to cut out thick pieces of foam.

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  19. Christina
    December 6, 2013 @ 10:56 am

    You SHOULD have made the cardboard yourself. Next time. I’ll definitely pin that one.

    Reply

  20. Darling Lily
    December 6, 2013 @ 11:03 am

    You totally need to open an etsy shop. I would absolutely by cardboard snowflakes made from leaves you chewed yourself that were cut out by St. Paul.

    Come to think of it, I would absolutely buy St. Paul.

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    • Yvonne Angus
      December 14, 2013 @ 10:59 am

      I think we ALL would chip in to buy our very own St. Paul! Those of you who are lucky enough to already have one, my cardboard hat is off to you!

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  21. Laurie
    December 6, 2013 @ 11:04 am

    Paul, who WOULDN’T like to cut out snowflakes? That is a delightful activity.

    I have to ask about the glitter. Have you found the German glass glitter to be superior to our American plastic glitter? I think I need a side-by-side comparison. Just a picture. I’m afraid if it was superior, I would just hoard it in a glass jar and look at it periodically. Then all my snowflakes would be brown.

    Actually, all my snowflakes would be boxes because that sounds like an awful lot of work. I’m a terrible blogger.

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  22. Meghan Furst
    December 6, 2013 @ 11:04 am

    Heh. Oh – I hoard boxes – for sure! I have several cupboards full of the most adorable and darling little boxes in case I ever want to send anyone a present. For years, I didn’t have boxes – and now I do.
    But – now, I also just order presents from Amazon and have them “direct ship”. If you need any …

    Reply

  23. Darling Lily
    December 6, 2013 @ 11:04 am

    Good God.

    Did you see who posted up there???

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    • Siouxie Q
      December 6, 2013 @ 4:04 pm

      Um, yeah. I’m guessing Victoria will need a fainting couch when she connects the dots!

      Reply

    • Sunnie Mitchell
      December 6, 2013 @ 5:54 pm

      Holy moly. I read the comment and giggled at comment and cute name, kept scrolling. Got to your post. Scrolled back up and checked out the website. Holy moly, holy moly!

      Reply

    • Jackie
      December 6, 2013 @ 10:13 pm

      Yeah – I did a triple take too. :>)
      She might need a couple of fainting couches.

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    • Yvonne Angus
      December 14, 2013 @ 11:04 am

      (She whispered faintly:) Is that the SAME Mary whose works I simply adore posting up there???????

      Reply

  24. Maaike
    December 6, 2013 @ 11:05 am

    You are too funny! Also? the glittered snowflakes are lovely. Just keep reminding Paul that’s it’s all about quality of life – only the very best, hand cut, German glass glittered snow flakes will do. 🙂

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  25. stacy scherr
    December 6, 2013 @ 11:09 am

    “… Frankly, I am cutting corners by using pre-made cardboard.”

    Well, THAT is theeeee funniest line, ever.
    Thank you for that.

    Sincerely.

    Reply

  26. NancyO.
    December 6, 2013 @ 11:13 am

    Love, love, love your blog!

    Reply

  27. Scribbler
    December 6, 2013 @ 11:21 am

    You are a scream! You probably have figured out that there are well-defined “cliques” in the world of blogging. I am sure you can find one with a tutorial for making that cardboard!

    Reply

  28. Debbie
    December 6, 2013 @ 11:52 am

    Love, love, love the line about making your own cardboard!!!!!!! If you truly choose to live inside the digital world where everything you read is true and your house is always perfect and your meals are always balanced and you, of course, grow your own food, you will lose the part of you that makes everyone stop what they are doing when they see you have a new post because they just have to read it right now!!!!!

    Reply

  29. linda spiker
    December 6, 2013 @ 12:21 pm

    I know I sound like a broken record. I am going to share you on my ‘Favorite Things in December’ post….at least I skipped a month.

    Reply

  30. Lynaea
    December 6, 2013 @ 12:40 pm

    No, no…I think the German glass glitter is more than ample compensation for the un-homemade cardboard (masticated yard waste? what? until this moment, I was hoping vaguely for eventual crafty/artsy fame…now I’m thinking even my children might not remember me postmortem. ) I’m looking outside…nope, no leaves left. Darn. Sad, because cardboard actually is hard to come by at my house…My husband is hoarding the boxes for useful, practical purposes. Sigh. On the bright side, I’m thinking used pickle jars, crushed, might stand in for the German glass glitter…once I’ve made enough cardboard out of dryer lint and Walmart receipts.

    Love checking into your blog…love your humor, and your reader response. Truly delightful conversation. And honestly, I’m tempted to try the snowflake thing.

    Reply

  31. Sarah
    December 6, 2013 @ 12:45 pm

    I am disappointed that you did not make your own cardboard. *shakes head sadly* And you call yourself a blogger.

    Just kidding, of course. Mostly. If I had done this project, my husband would have forced me to make my own cardboard just to save money (despite the fact that hoarding is FREE), and then run away when it was time to help cut out the snowflakes. Also, I wouldn’t have finished the project until June.

    Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ll be trolling Craigslist and hotel “estate” sales for that bellman trolley. Seems like a better use of my time than actually cleaning. 😉

    Reply

  32. Brian
    December 6, 2013 @ 2:17 pm

    I hope you do realize that you have a Saint for a husband. The picutre of him behind you looks like a cardboard cutout by the way.

    Reply

  33. judy
    December 6, 2013 @ 2:29 pm

    Honestly, you’ve gotta stop this-I sit next to my Engineer husband whose sense of humor runs to jokes about algorithms- snorting and guffawing and even spitting a small blast of tea all over the laptop and I swear he was on the phone with the sons about the “time may have come to do something about your Mother”- they’re coming to take me away Victoria -throw me some garland……………. Quick!

    Reply

  34. Margaret Eaton
    December 6, 2013 @ 4:01 pm

    Not the blog to be reading when eating cookies and drinking coffee. I’ll be back after I change my clothes and wipe down the keyboard.

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  35. Linda P.
    December 6, 2013 @ 4:04 pm

    I love, love, love your blog. You and Paul are great together. No Mr. Martha Stewart. Now there is a surprise. That is hilarious. I too hope to see a tutorial on making your own cardboard Victoria Elizabeth style.

    Reply

  36. Siouxie Q
    December 6, 2013 @ 4:08 pm

    Spectacular job, as always. However, I fear that even 100 pounds of German glitter glass will not cure my I-Have-No-Will-to-Think-of-Anything-New-Shoot-Me-Now-Oh-How-I-Love/Hate-You-Pintrest-Christmas-Decorating-Blues.
    Wah, wah, wah.

    Reply

  37. patricia
    December 6, 2013 @ 5:36 pm

    There WAS a Mr. Martha Stewart but he sneaked out many years ago before she became a billionaire. He did not measure up … probably was crappy at cutting out snowflakes.

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  38. Chici's Cottage Style
    December 6, 2013 @ 8:14 pm

    Do you think that foam-core board might work in place of chewed leaves or cardboard? Keep up the good work of inspiring us and for the laughs! 🙂

    Reply

  39. Carole@Rustic Artistry
    December 6, 2013 @ 8:46 pm

    Speaking of Martha, I just finished an audiobook called “The Tao of Martha: My Year of LIVING; Or, Why I’m Never Getting All That Glitter Off of the Dog” by Jen Lancaster. It was funny as hell and you might relate to a lot of it. Actually your husband might relate to her husband. Here’s the Amazon link if you want to read about it: http://www.amazon.com/The-Tao-Martha-Getting-Glitter/dp/0451417631

    Reply

  40. Denise
    December 6, 2013 @ 9:01 pm

    Victoria,
    You are one step away from certifiable and I LOVE you!
    BTW with 44 years of marriage behind me I feel qualified it say Paul is a keeper!
    Denise

    Reply

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