My brothers are my favorite people on the planet.
I am the short one. And the unfunny one.
And in recent years, the one who embarrasses them by going to the beach dressed like an Amish person.
But I am also the one who gives awesome Christmas presents.
Every Christmas, I get the three of us the exact same thing.
And then we take this exact same photo, jumping off my parent’s front step.
That was two years ago…
I’m sure I don’t need to explain the inherent awesomeness of mohawk hats.
Or the subsequent, gift-related agony of never being able to follow with something better.
How do you top that?
You don’t.
It’s impossible.
Until this.
Correct. That is a lucha libre mask.
It would be impossible for me to overstate my degree of enthusiasm.
I laughed uncontrollably every time I imagined their reaction.
I could not wait to see their faces.
Did they think it was funny? No.
I had to beg them to put them on and take our yearly photo.
I said–okay, on three… everyone jump in the air.
And they were like, Vic. It’s cold. This is stupid.
And I was like DO IT ONCE. It’s a tradition.
Aside from being the short one and the unfunny one, I am also the bossy one.
So I insisted– just once. Okay? One. Two. Three.
You can see that I put my all into my jump.
See my joie de vivre?
See how they just stood there with their hands in their pockets?
See my commitment?
See how I made sure to pose for the end-jump-shot.
Like an idiot. Thinking they were behind me.
Matt said—I think the neigbors are calling the police.
Chris said—seriously, I’d better not see these on Facebook.
Matt abruptly stopped texting and said—Dude! Whoa! You CANNOT put these on Facebook.
So. This is not Facebook.
Also, neither of them has ever said they read my blog, even though it’s all I talk about.
So—let that be a lesson. To anyone who has failed to tell me, unprompted, that my blog is TOTALLY awesome? You might want to get on that.
Paul?
I am chortling. Yes, that is the proper term.
First, love the way you and the fraternal units hang out. Family traditions are THE BEST THINGS EVER – *especially* if you make them up yourselves. (One of ours was to make green eggs and ham on St. Patrick’s Day for my mother’s birthday. We still do that.)
Second: My family learned to fear the phrase “I have to blog this.” It’s fun when that happens. ENJOY it when it does. *beams*
And: I think your awesomeness might have been over their heads. Paul clearly gets it – or he gets you enough to make it look like he does. SMART MAN.
May your holidays be all that is bright (and disco-ball-shiny) and beautiful.
Can I just say how EVERYONE thought it was so incredibly funny when Paul acted like a superhero? And I was like, oh? Really? NOW you think it’s funny?
If the boys see this, I will be excommunicated. Truly. I’m not sure they will want to hear about “material.” They are getting navy-blue hoodies this year. So much for creativity…
p.s.- It is likely that Paul will protest his photo being used without permission.
Victoria,
I also like the fact that you all have your Christmas morning pj’s on with your slippers. How cute is that?
This just makes me wish that much harder for siblings. As an only child, my showing off occurred in front of my dad’s 8mm movie camera. Thank goodness no one in my family got around to making VHS tapes of those reels! (does this age me? Yes, it does!) I can only say, it seems like typical guys to not want to really keep up with the tradition!
Maybe it was a claustrophobia issue…I mean the masks do look constricting. I will say, Paul is the best for playing along! Mr.B does that and that is why we’ve lasted so long.
Karen
My bf is an only child, and when we were younger, I envied her the QUIET of not having a brother! Now, of course I’m so thankful for them…
One is three years younger than me, the other is thirteen younger… which makes him half my brother and half my own child. He’s everyone’s favorite! Although he’s not even on Twitter, which makes him totally useless for any kind of tech-savvy helpfulness! I’m like, hello? You’re legally required to be able to HELP me with social media!
Paul totally got all the laughs. I was like, right—of course you think HE is funny.
Blahhhhh!!!! HA HA HA! This was great, Victoria! Brothers are the best and this makes me think about all the crazy stuff we did as kids. The laughter… the uncontrollable laughter is something i miss so much. I imagine there was and still is LOTS of that with you guys. Well, there was for me while reading this post, anyway.
The mohawk hats are just so awesome I may have had to just call it quits. Seriously how do you top that? I know how tall you all are so I was quite impressed with how high your brothers jump. HA HA! They’re catching some serious air! SO FUN.
Really this is the best part of the holidays… spending it with the people you love…. and laughing your butt off. Also, I think lucha libre masks should probably become some sort of Christmas tradition…. which would no doubt lead to a Christmas smack-down. Ahhh, sweet holiday memories!
Sigh… I’m terrible at quitting while I’m ahead. And I’m GREAT at getting carried away.
Sometimes (as you know) people will look at me and say something to the extent—wow! You’re tall. And I’m always like, oh yeah? I forgot. Literally. In my family I am the short one…
You’re right about the uncontrollable laughter. We’re not all together very often, but when we are? We pretty much just roll on the floor. Half of which is just making fun of each other in the most hilarious way possible. (why is that so fun?)
Puhleeze tell me you made them watch the movie_Nacho Libre_ with you, because only then could they attain the capacity to fully appreciate the magnitude of the gift i.e. singing “Incarnacion” in a fully tiled room. No accounting for taste, though you are obviously on the right side of that. Where did you get those masks???? I need some for my family so we can spend Christmas morning quoting the movie to each other. And texting pictures of ourselves to everyone we know .
Okay. The fact that you GET this is the awesomest thing EVER, makes me feel better. Like my brothers are the ones with defective humor… not me. Also, clearly your family has a superiorly developed sense of comedy… I was expecting my brothers and I to spend the morning texting random photos of us in costume.
And yes. Of course we have witnessed the magic of Jack Black as Nacho Libre.
I got them at a flea market. Paul and I were on our way somewhere, and we passed a defunct drive-in theater that had tents and vendors. I was hoping to find some great antique, so we stopped. As SOON as I saw those masks, I was like—CHRISTMAS!! Then I tried them on, while people looked at me like I was crazy.
The guy had all kinds, but I tried to find three that were similar, and sewed straight…they are not really, um, high quality? I’m glad now I didn’t spring for the more professional ones since we won’t be going on tour…
“I’m a little concerned right now. About your salvation and stuff.” I would have spent the morning in a huge sulk with my lower lip sticking out had I received such a response.
Do you think maybe my brothers were disappointed?? That I didn’t get the matching tights and leotard? Maybe *that* was the problem, and I simply misinterpreted? After all, CLEARLY, the outfit was incomplete.
I tried not to be visibly disappointed. The only thing worse than them not thinking it was funny… would have been watching them pretend…
p.s.- someone should definitely be concerned about my salvation… and stuff.
Now I know why you’re so funny… you have brothers! And they look like professional wrestlers! How awesome… loved the post. Have a happy holiday season.
I wasn’t kidding about being the unfunny one. When both brothers are around, beating them to any kind of punchline is impossible.
Happy holidays to you too! I take it you survive the swarming hordes of curious house-lookers!!
Great stuff, love the hats but the masks are awesome.
Jim
That seems clear to me too… but I guess there’s no accounting for taste.
Bwhaha! You are the best sister EVER!! Those masks are awesome. The fact that your brothers refused to jump only makes them more awesomer… Like they are too serious of wrestlers to get mixed up in your shenanigans. This seriously made my day! Plus now I need to go out and find blue polka dot p-jams. Merry Christmas!
YOU made my day. I am pleased to no end— to now see them as taking their craft seriously and not lowering themselves to ridiculous publicity stunts.
Re-looking at the photos from that view, they look very somber. Pensive even. Which is pretty delightful. Merry Christmas!!
You can join my family. My brothers would totally get into the lucha libre masks. Did you see the zombie shoot we did at my wedding?
Well. I have to say that I THOUGHT my brothers were going to be into the masks. I THOUGHT they were going to fall over in hysteria.
The rest of my comment did not post. I added the link http://capeofdreams.wordpress.com/2012/10/29/diy-halloween-zombie-costumes/ and also said that I understand how you feel about your brothers not reading your blog. Mine don’t either. Neither will my father. Oh well.
I really, really think that until you HAVE a blog… you don’t understand the time/thought that goes into it. Plus, my brothers (and probably yours too) aren’t sitting around reading anyone’s blog, so it’s not a part of their media-consumption…
Having said that, I really do talk about my blog, my blog, my blog… all the time, so I’m a little sad that my family doesn’t pick up on my totally not subtle cues.
Does your husband read it? Paul doesn’t read, although he certainly hears enough about it that he might make an argument that he’s already lived through it. I mean, if I take him the laptop he’ll read it, but his brain doesn’t prompt him to have any curiosity. I’m surprised at how this hasn’t bothered me… I guess because I know him well enough to not interpret it as lack of caring, but just differences in our personalities.
My husband does read it, but he also has a couple of blogs, so he understands. I also thinks that he reads it just to check what I am saying about him!
OMG. Those pictures are hysterical.
Is it weird to ask where you got your pants? I love them.
Not weird at all… I got them at Bloomingdales, last year. They’re a brand called PJ Salvage… maybe you can look on ebay. I’ve had good luck sometimes finding a discontinued item there.
lucha libre planking by Paul?! Too funny ~ Kat
LOL… yes. Also, like the world’s least-scary super villain.
Adorable! It’s fun to have siblings to have a little holiday fun with. Have a happy holiday season!
My comment-answering ocd finally caught up with me… Happy New Year!!
LOVE this, and totally relate to your frustration in receiving proper accolades for your blogging efforts from apathetic family members. So, children, be forewarned! Just as I am now an OBSESSIVE bow-maker . . . .
Oh, the things we can learn on the internet.
Merry Christmas to you!
Replying to comments got derailed by the holidays… I tried to let it go, but am compelled to answer this! Happy New Year!
Hahaha!! Love it!! Hope you had a lovely Christmas. Xx
Happy New Year!
WHAT???!!!!!! LUCHA LIBRE MASKS ARE THE BEST PRESENT EVER!!!!!!!
Even here in Mexico are a little bit over the top, BUT they are good enough for the competition with the mohauk hats.
If that makes you feel better, my brother and sister would TOTALLY love the masks!
Maybe your brothers need a ride to watch Lucha Libre! The most bizarre fighting show EVER.
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Right??? So obviously awesome!!! It’s been over a year and a half, and I STILL, do not understand why my brothers failed to see it.
As a result, they got hoodies last Christmas. I thought this would punish their lack of humor, but they seemed REALLY happy with sweatshirts.
Next year, socks. That will teach them.