Skip to content


  1. SGamble
    June 21, 2023 @ 11:14 am

    I have missed you.
    I am sorry for your grief.
    Thank you for sharing it outloud.


  2. JC
    June 21, 2023 @ 1:30 pm

    I am so sorry to hear of your loss.
    This decluttering bug bit me last year, I lost my “true love” last year and I started getting rid of first his things and it grew into sorting /getting rid of my excess. It has been very enlightening….and freeing.
    Bagging stuff and letting it set for a minute helped because if I didn’t miss it I donated it.
    I wish I could make myself get rid of cookware, it will happen eventually……
    Take care and give Paul a squeeze!


  3. Naomi
    June 21, 2023 @ 3:02 pm

    I was so happy to see you’d posted an update on your adventures and was delighted to be reading along until the sad news. I’m so sorry for your loss.


  4. Penny
    June 21, 2023 @ 10:50 pm

    My deepest sympathy on the loss of your brother. It hurts but in time it will hurt a little less.

    I am so so so PROUD of you!!!
    You did the MOST RIGHT thing!


  5. Cathy
    June 22, 2023 @ 9:16 am

    Beautifully written. Thank you for sharing your journey.


  6. Molly Sargent
    June 22, 2023 @ 1:18 pm

    I have been following you forever (because I adore you and you are the only one who truly gets me) but lost track when my husband got cancer and died two years later. You have been my alter ego for many years. Can you imagine being like we are (dreamer,hoarder of all things huge and wonderous, craigs list Golem, my precious,) and having your best friend/enabler disappear from your life? Leaving you with all the projects half finished, a garage and house full of stuff, and disabling grief? I know you have a mirror with a kingdom on top and a piano island but I have a 1964 Air Stream sitting in my driveway. Here’s the story:

    Sitting in bed on Labor Day morning looking out the window at the Airstream. A 1962 Landyacht. Some one decided it would look better with a couple coats of paint. But under that peeling exterior I know there is a gleaming gorgeous girl.

    So about ten years ago, I can’t believe its been that long, I was looking at Craigslist and noticed an ad for an Airstream trailer. It said “1962 Airstream, 22 feet, hardwood floors, needs work, $500.00”. I yelled to Tom that I was going to call about it and that I was sure it was supposed to read 5000.00. He said call them! Call them! I called, she said “no its 500. We were building a house and we used it to live in for the summer and we don’t need it any more”. I said I wanted it. She asked if I didn’t want to see it first, I said “No, don’t sell it, we will be there in two hours with cash!”

    So we grabbed our emergency stash of guess what? 500 dollars, jumped in the old Ford 150 and drove to Walton, about an hour away. When we got there the trailer was sitting on the side of an old dirt road, paint peeling, a little shabby looking but still, an Airstream for 500 bucks! It was a dream to tow and by the time we got home we were calling it she, the shuttle craft, plan B.

    Tom, of course, went online and found out the history of the model and every bit of info that was written on her. We had great dreams of fixing her up, grabbing the dogs and taking off to the Grand Canyon. Or maybe California. Sometimes on summer evenings we would concoct our traditional dirty martinis made with Bombay Saphire, two olives, one onion, a glance at the vermouth and we would just go out and sit in her, talking about where we would go when we finished her. We did put in a new stove and fix a few things and talked about pressure washing the paint off her. I still might do it.

    The other day my gardener told me she might know someone who could tow it away for me, you know, like get rid of it, do me a favor. I just looked at her. How could she have known what Airstreams were worth? How could she have known that Plan B was my last hope for freedom? My last link with Tom. My last adventure.


  7. Molly
    June 22, 2023 @ 1:44 pm

    PS Your brothers death must have destroyed you. I am glad you found your way back. I know how hard it is.

    Also I forgot to mention I am (and my husband was as well) a cat rescuer, foster, adopter, volunteer, senior dog rescuer, senior rescued parrot parent, and cat sanctuary non profit.

    Thanks for all your wonderful writing!


  8. Crystal
    June 22, 2023 @ 6:48 pm

    I am so very sorry for your loss. Having experienced the life altering loss of my young adult son, I am the queen of functional brokeness. I am broken through to the bottom of my soul, yet must function at some level, because LIFE. My heart hurts for you and hope as you travel the path of Grief you come to understand it isn’t a straight line. In fact, the path of grief is so twisty turny, with unexpeceted U turns and then leaps of straight to the edge of madness and back again that it can leave you with the ability to literally spin your head and scare the bejesus out of small children. BUT walk the path long enough and you will learn that Profound Grief and Great Joy can live peacefully, side by side inside the same heart. A miracle really. And I hope you reach this point along the path sooner rather than later. Hugs to you and congrats on learning you can detach from stuff. And realizing that it’s mostly all just stuff.


  9. Desiree
    June 22, 2023 @ 8:49 pm

    Victoria Darling,
    I am so sorry to hear of the passing of your brother, I remember you posted about a trip that you took with your brother'{s} I think there is another one. I remember reading your post with a smile on my face, you all were having a grand time together, seem like a lot of fun! I will pray for strength for you, in this season. Good job on clearing the stuff, I get it.
    Kind regards, Dee


  10. Lyndsay
    June 23, 2023 @ 9:49 am

    Everything you write engages me to the fullest. These de cluttering posts connect to my inner self so clearly. Thanks for sharing the insights you’ve seen in yourself. They are helpful to me. And it’s fun to read. I’m smiling the whole time. I’m so so so sorry about the death of your brother. How tragic and sad and awful. Sending a hug your way.


  11. Alison
    June 23, 2023 @ 10:13 am

    i’m so sorry about your brother. and i’m so proud of you for radical simplicity!


  12. Lindsey
    June 23, 2023 @ 5:43 pm

    I don’t think I said this before but, can you please show us what the magic skirt looks like? I’d love to know the story behind it


  13. Kathy
    June 23, 2023 @ 6:13 pm

    I am so sorry for your loss! Welcome back, we’ve all missed you! Looking forward to hearing more adventure stories!


  14. thriftmouse
    June 24, 2023 @ 4:11 pm

    I am so so sorry about your brother. These posts have been SO helpful for me as I look at all the house clutter that I spent 3 years buying thinking that I was opening a thrift shop, instead it was all the anxiety of the last 3 years cluttering me into a corner. My house is literally hoarder level 2 now and I need to let it go. You are giving me energy to focus and clean , one room at a time. Thank you.


  15. Janet
    June 24, 2023 @ 7:33 pm

    I can’t tell you how many chords this post struck for me. Even the life changing loss: there are no words, grief will have its way with you.
    A few months ago a diagnosis stopped me in my tracks & I started to edit my hoard. I figured that filling a 3 car garage was better than having storage units, with that logic, the addiction continued.
    It suddenly became important where the lovely items landed, crazy thinking, but a lovely so a charity devoted to the homeless took four truck loads out of my garage.
    It has changed everything inside and outside of the house, it functions. It has turned into an obsession of sorts as I notice multiple can openers. Did I really need to hang on to my 8th grade graduation dress for decades…


  16. Jenni
    June 25, 2023 @ 11:11 am

    Someone else already stole my comment, practically verbatim, so I’ll just plagiarize what she said… “I love you. You are my spirit animal. I am incredibly sorry about your brother.”
    For real tho, I NEEDED to read this post. And I’ll likely come back and read it next week for inspiration. (And for as long as it takes to Make Room and clear space in my home.) It’s so reassuring to know that there are others like me, the struggle is real!
    I am praying for you, your family and loved ones who continue to feel the loss of your brother. Praying the memories of his time with you will bring you all joy and peace and love.


  17. Todd J. Roberson
    June 25, 2023 @ 7:42 pm

    Funny blog, it’s good to detox, right? I thought your closet would be bigger.



  18. Charles Marks
    June 26, 2023 @ 10:56 am

    Cleaning out is cathartic. I don’t even list furniture etc on Facebook Marketplace any more. Bad scamming experience. Put it on Craig’s List in the FREE category with the words: You haul it, you own it. “A person who owns little is little owned” – Ray Magliozzi, Car Talk. (one of the world’s great philosophers)


  19. Maria
    June 26, 2023 @ 12:29 pm

    Big, expansive love from the ether to you, dear Victoria—I am so sorry for the devastating loss you and your family have suffered. You have somehow transmuted some of that pain into a different way to love the world and make it better: you’re making a major change in your own relationship to yourself —to stop “worrying about the WRONG STUFF” (I gotta do this too!!)—but also, please know that you have a joyful, enlightening impact on the world (i.e. all of us) that’s even more than all you say and do on here. Thank you for the effort it takes to share with us now and then, magical person.


  20. D
    June 27, 2023 @ 12:16 pm

    I have bookmarked this post, and I will be re-reading it daily, as it’s what I need to absorb.

    Thank you.

    I’m terribly sorry about your brother.


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.