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  1. Laura
    June 27, 2023 @ 5:00 pm

    Wow! Thank you for this post. For being so brutally honest in your pain and grief and sharing your realization that the stuff doesn’t matter like you though it did and the fear of regret kept you keeping the stuff. This is me too! I went to an estate sale years ago – obviously the home of a creative who had supplies for all and any craft one might want to tackle and I saw my kids needing to deal with my sh!t after my passing. I have read The Art of Death Cleaning and I still can’t seem to let myself let go. WTH?! I tell myself “little by little” but little is very tiny and infrequent and I just get so overwhelmed with the task before me. I am so sorry about the loss of your brother and pray you find peace in your happy memories and no regrets of anything.


  2. Fl!p Breskin
    June 30, 2023 @ 12:39 pm

    I am SO sorry about your brother!!! Heart breaking. Congratulations for seeing and letting go of what doesn’t matter. Tears over here, and some inspiration. We emptied our storage unit in May, after over 10 years. Now I’m working on the garage, only I have to / had to start in the house to make room for the good stuff from the garage, which we had brought home from the storage unit. Right now the hard stuff is the 100 year old amazing fabrics. Thank you for writing this! Love/Fl!p


  3. Laurie Anne Nicholson
    July 4, 2023 @ 7:57 am

    Beautiful, delightful Victoria. What a terrible loss for you and your family. Be gentle with yourself and remember all of the care that you so lovingly bestow on gentle animals who need protection. You are warrior strong and whip smart, but you need that same care and protection from all who love you as you recalibrate to the new realities of life. Recognize peace and joy in your memories of Matthew. Sending you love.


  4. Diane Schneider
    July 7, 2023 @ 12:11 pm

    Victoria, When I read the words “Then my brother died”, I flashed back & in a weird time twist, felt I was reading that about my youngest brother Steve, who died a few years ago. Find one small spot of peace in knowing that your brother’s love, spirit, and smile are now released to the world in a whole new way… but, just damn, it still hurts… until time and patience and life dulls that edge a little bit. I am an RC theology professor, professional harpist & therapist, and non-professional cat rescuer & foster mom, currently w/ 4 of those furry boys–Hamish & Angus (the Scottish marmalade twins), Daniel Boone, and Beau. Beauty is the only cure for death– the sheer beauty of our cats, and all the GFT’s in the world, and (of course) the men who love us all point to a Beauty Beyond anything we know here. The Baby Jesus can tell you more. All of your readers/fans love you, Victoria, and love your passion for all things quirky, beautiful, and GOLD!!! (I have an 8-foot refulgent “kingdom mirror sans mirror” propped up in the hallway as we speak–that once fell from a mansion wall and exploded–but still it lives! The mystery of life & death!) With you in this journey…and rely on Julian, “All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of thing shall be well.” Diane


  5. Caroline
    July 7, 2023 @ 4:35 pm

    I am so very sorry to hear about your brother. Sometimes life events like that do trigger a change in the way we look at stuff. I have a very hard time letting go of family things.


  6. Joelle
    July 13, 2023 @ 6:41 am

    What do you say to someone who suffers such a loss? Words just seem….futile. This is all I can think of: sit with your grief as long as you need but do not stay there. Think of your memories with your brother as a garden: bright beautiful bursting, sometimes it needs tending, sometimes not, you visit your garden, you linger but you do not live there… We are all sending love and good kind energy to you and Paul. Keep Moving Forward 🙂


  7. Shannon
    August 12, 2023 @ 3:03 am

    Eckhart Tolle and love.


  8. Loretta
    August 16, 2023 @ 2:45 am

    I am one who savors things and your posts are delicious! Ive had your posts sitting there in my pile of unread emails in anticipation of the goodness it holds. I told myself that if I put Christmas away in the basement (no judgement) I could read a post. Christmas has been thrown in tubs (not organized because it IS almost time to get it all out and decorate) and I read both posts. I have been in varying degrees of simplifying since I read Simplify Your Life by Elaine St. James. Then I bought a larger house and discovered flea markets. Then I downsized four years ago. Painful. Agonizing. Once I released the stuff, I found that the treasures that I keep have a more important place in my life and I can appreciate them like they deserve. The loss of your brother sits with me. Im so sorry! Please know that we all have invested in your posts but also you. Sending love!


  9. Laurie (Lucy's mom)
    September 8, 2023 @ 9:37 am

    I am so sorry to hear of the loss of your brother.


  10. Barbara
    January 15, 2024 @ 7:03 am

    Thank you, Victoria, for sharing all this! I do get paralysis when detaching from books, some clothes. But freeing space for the mind to be able to relax is better.

    Time to cull the monster bookcase!

    Hugs and Happy New Year 2024,
    Barb 😎👍


  11. Jules
    February 20, 2024 @ 7:45 pm

    I have the same clothes hoarding disability. I’ve been paralyzed by rubber maid totes filled with clothes of all different sizes, giant black garbage bags of clothes that I’m certain I will need next season, shoes and boots and bags that just live in a messy pile in my unfinished loft. I read your post and it resonated with me. I have been stuck since my son passed away, and your post bounced around in my head for several weeks. After sorting and bagging clothes for what felt like for-ever, I was able to donate 19 bags of clothes. Nineteen! I’m not finished, but I am on my way. I hope that you are well and that we will see you again soon in the Giant Fancy of Only Really Certain Special Things. Hugs.


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