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147 Comments

  1. Danielle
    June 20, 2023 @ 10:09 am

    I love you. You are my spirit animal.
    I am incredibly sorry about your brother.

    Reply

    • Melanie
      June 20, 2023 @ 11:27 am

      This.

      Reply

    • thriftmouse
      June 24, 2023 @ 4:09 pm

      I am so so sorry about your brother. These posts have been SO helpful for me as I look at all the house clutter that I spent 3 years buying thinking that I was opening a thrift shop, instead it was all the anxiety of the last 3 years cluttering me into a corner. My house is literally hoarder level 2 now and I need to let it go. You are giving me energy to focus and clean , one room at a time. Thank you.

      Reply

  2. Judy
    June 20, 2023 @ 10:11 am

    I have missed you!!

    Reply

    • Teresa Young
      June 20, 2023 @ 1:11 pm

      Healing love and light to you Victoria…so sorry you lost your brother…
      I love your posts…they are always therapeutic and funny as ….you know.
      Hold on tight while you heal…it is gut wrenching and hurts…
      Wishing you and Paul peace…love…and harmony.
      Teresa

      Reply

  3. pigtown design
    June 20, 2023 @ 10:13 am

    OMG! This is me! I am just so DONE with everything! E.V.E.R.Y.T.H.I.N.G!!! Luckily, my dog-walker has morphed into my chauffeur/yardman/houseman, and he is helping me clear everything out! 12 contractor-sized bags from my workroom, thus far (we only started two weeks ago), and next up is my closet, where I anticipate getting rid of 90% of my clothes. It is so liberating. I am participating in a friend’s barn sale this weekend and being ruthless with getting rid of things. The more I de-accession, the better I feel!

    Reply

    • Lisa
      June 20, 2023 @ 6:57 pm

      My sympathy on the loss of your brother. I followed you before you dropped off and am happy to see you (and the most patient and amazing Paul) back with us. I am most likely almost twice your age and in the past ten years after the death of my husband I have had to divest myself of almost 75 percent of my treasured collections and what others would probably consider junk. Thankfully I still have some of both and am trying to live my best life. I hope you continue to do the same. P.S. I am so jealous of your kitchen. Job well done.

      Reply

  4. Tattycoram
    June 20, 2023 @ 10:13 am

    Etheric hugs.

    Reply

    • Marcia
      June 20, 2023 @ 1:23 pm

      I’m sorry for your terrible loss Victoria. Age and death are two things that can tilt the earth. Your reality shifts and you must readjust your center of gravity. I think you’ve just been seeking a new balance. Adaptation is the essence of renewal; it’s going to come out right in the end. Keep on.

      Reply

      • Caroline O'Hara
        June 21, 2023 @ 12:01 am

        I am so very sorry that your brother died, Victoria.

        Reply

    • Kelly
      June 20, 2023 @ 1:52 pm

      I’m so sorry about your brother.

      What you’re learning thru this decluttering process is something I deeply relate to. Perfectionism happens when we fear making a mistake. And I’m slowly learning what this freedom to make mistakes looks like. It’s uncomfortable but refreshing.
      Thanks for articulating this process – you’re not alone! 🙂

      Reply

  5. Tammy
    June 20, 2023 @ 10:14 am

    That you were still able to let go of anything at all when half of your heart died is nothing short of miraculous. You yourself are nothing short of miraculous, of course, but grief often triggers hoarding, so….wow. Hoping your parents are okay, and your other brother, too. Be good to yoyrself.

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  6. Jeannette Sparks
    June 20, 2023 @ 10:15 am

    My most sincere condolences for your loss.

    Reply

  7. Diana
    June 20, 2023 @ 10:16 am

    Oh Victoria, I’m so sorry about your brother. Having lost a brother myself, I know how awful and unfair it is. Hugs to you!

    Reply

    • Lee Strobridge
      June 20, 2023 @ 10:33 am

      So proud of you!
      With me, it is an emotional attachment to all the things….
      If I let me mothers school workbooks, journals, pictures, etc, will I be letting go of her?
      What about all the letters between my parents…divorced years ago? Struggling…

      Reply

    • Gaylin
      June 20, 2023 @ 11:03 am

      Oh my friend I am sorry for your loss. Could that be why you left us tragically alone for so long out here? Well if so I am so glad your back to being. (Not yourself but the Phoenix rising from the ashes of sorrow)
      Thank you for your return!

      Reply

      • Liane Harding
        June 21, 2023 @ 12:13 am

        So sorry about your brother Matthew – may his memory be a blessing ❤️

        Reply

    • Grace Reed
      June 20, 2023 @ 2:26 pm

      Oh, Victoria. I’m so sorry for the loss of your brother. And, so glad YOU are our Giant Fancy Thing! Love, Grace

      Reply

  8. Karen B.
    June 20, 2023 @ 10:16 am

    Oh God, I’m so sorry you lost your brother.
    I have always been a semi-minimalist, but now I have my foot firmly on the gas to be rid of oddball things I’ve accumulated over the years. I’ve hit 73 and I have two sons and their lovely wives who will have to go through this mess once I’m gone. I don’t want them saying, “why would mom keep this?!”
    Good luck with your culling detail. It does feel good to me to be rid of some of the things that I’ve stored for years.
    Karen B.

    Reply

    • Marianne in Mo.
      June 20, 2023 @ 11:37 am

      I am almost the same age, have two daughters with spouses who say they will trash all contents and sell the house on the lake that we love when we are gone. Then they will take an epic trip and say “thanks Mom and Dad” at the end! But I still feel compelled to de-junk much of the totes we carried in to this house and never touched since.
      Victoria, my sincere sympathies on the loss of your brother. It is not easy to think they will no longer be around. I have also lost my brother (a few years back) who was my protector growing up. He then got addicted to drugs, lost his family, went to prison for 6 months, got out and aquainted once again to his friend Drug, tried to get me to give money for his drugs, and I refused, so he foul-mouthed me until I hung up and shut him out of my life to protect my family. He broke my heart, and I never got over it.
      I find that holding on to these things are like trying to hold on to the brother that failed me——-they end up just making me sad that the love I had for the stuff is gone. It’s so easy for me when I get to that mindset, but they haunt me with what ifs.

      Reply

      • Rosalind Murray-Kendall
        June 20, 2023 @ 5:42 pm

        Precious girl.
        Thank you.
        Your letter touched my heart.
        Rosalind

        Reply

  9. Bee
    June 20, 2023 @ 10:18 am

    I loved this until I saw the part about your brother. I am so sorry. What a massive shock. :'(

    Reply

  10. Melissa
    June 20, 2023 @ 10:25 am

    Victoria, I hear you. I feel you. I’m so sorry for your profound loss. My little brother died (unexpectedly) last summer. It. Changed. Everything. Thank you for writing something that I can feel and understand (that which is so un-understandable) to my soul.

    Reply

  11. Laura Oliver
    June 20, 2023 @ 10:25 am

    You are literally my hero. My condolences on the loss of your brother; I know mere words cannot erase that pain, but I am so sorry. Hugs.

    Reply

  12. Caroline
    June 20, 2023 @ 10:25 am

    I am so sorry Victoria. I imagine Paul is looking after you heroically, but I am also sure everyone here is thinking of you and wishing you well too xx

    Please also accept my sincere congrats on the decluttering paradigm shift happening in your brain! 😊

    Reply

  13. Savannah
    June 20, 2023 @ 10:26 am

    WOW! You’re right, after all of that about decluttering physically and mentally, I was not expecting to hear about your brother’s death! I am so sorry for your loss, sweetpea. You have my heart. xoxo

    Reply

  14. Marion
    June 20, 2023 @ 10:26 am

    I am so sorry to hear of your brother’s passing. Thanks for sharing; I always appreciate your writing. Peace.

    Reply

  15. Susanne
    June 20, 2023 @ 10:29 am

    I am so very sorry…

    Reply

  16. Marilyn
    June 20, 2023 @ 10:32 am

    Your biggest strength is knowing yourself. This is what works for you now! So glad I got to see your earlier posts when you took a trip with both your brothers out west somewhere. I’m hazy on the details, but sure you will remember. Lost my younger brother in December, treasure the one I have left. My heart goes out to you.

    Reply

  17. Terri
    June 20, 2023 @ 10:32 am

    Oh how this post resonates with me! I look around and see decades of “saving just in case” clutter and it is so overwhelming. Told my husband–we need a rolloff dumpster!!! But . . . I have to be in the “mood to throw” before I can truly let go of all the stuff and declutter. I’ll get there . . . I will, really! Just maybe not this week . . . Sadly, most of this stuff is not someone else’s treasure–but some of it could be?!? My youngest daughter always says, “Dad, why are you saving this stuff? When you’re gone, we’re getting a dumpster!” Says it all doesn’t it?

    Reply

  18. Barbara H.
    June 20, 2023 @ 10:32 am

    I didn’t see the loss of your brother coming, but having also lost mine unexpectedly years ago is how that happens. It does change us. The grief comes in waves for a long time. It does help us focus on what is important but gosh, wish there was an easier way to have our eyes opened. Love you, grieve for you and your loss and holding you and your family in my heart.

    Reply

  19. trish
    June 20, 2023 @ 10:33 am

    I am doing the same things. I find that as the long term becomes short term, I am thinking of what do I really need to keep that my children will not throw out or donate. It is hard but I try to do a little every day or week. It reminds me that what I should be doing is writing down what is meaningful and should be remembered.

    So sorry about your brother, remember the good times, it is all we have.

    Reply

  20. Cece P
    June 20, 2023 @ 10:36 am

    As always a post from you is a true delight, that is until reading that your brother died. I’m so sorry to hear this and send my heartfelt condolences to you and your family. Take good care of each other during this difficult time.

    Reply

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