1. Christine
    August 6, 2013 @ 12:39 pm

    Darlin, stop wasting your time on $5000 elegant monuments. This sounds like a FANTASTIC diy project at a much smaller cost and much less headache than 2 months of obsession over something that the people have already sold, or they are so are afraid of you that they will NEVER respond to your emails. Try Hobby Lobby for a place to start for pillars, some wooden frames glued on and some gold sparkly paint, voila! Elegant Goddess Pillars at a fraction of the cost and headache.


  2. Marian
    August 6, 2013 @ 12:40 pm

    Hey, I want that screen. And why haven’t you driven to the address?


  3. Cath
    August 6, 2013 @ 12:51 pm

    I love to read you, you make me smile out loud


  4. Anna
    August 6, 2013 @ 12:55 pm

    This weekend I considered buying a truck so I could pick up more Craigslist treasures more easily.

    This week 5 chairs that I absolutely NEEDED escaped because of my inability to procure a truck. I died a little inside.


  5. Kathie
    August 6, 2013 @ 1:49 pm

    You just tell him, Dear, that those obelisk-y things are going in the kitchen and your problem will be solved! because that would be some SERIOUS bling for the kitchen! 🙂


  6. Tyler J. Yoder
    August 6, 2013 @ 1:56 pm

    Ma chérie, has anyone applied for the actual position of Elegancy, yet? Because living in your head is sort of my dream job.


    • siouxzie Q
      August 6, 2013 @ 9:53 pm

      Tyler, I’ll arm wrestle you for that spot.


    • Victoria Elizabeth Barnes
      August 7, 2013 @ 1:28 pm

      I would hate for anyone as distinguished as yourself to see what a disaster the inside of my head is… I haven’t vacuumed in ages.


  7. Barb
    August 6, 2013 @ 2:20 pm

    I pay homage to all that you are. Amazing that your Raccoon, Elegance, and my Dragon, Seeker, have such similar traits.


  8. Apple Hill Cottage
    August 6, 2013 @ 2:42 pm

    I understand your hesitancy to start with the fine kitchen. It is months of messes — but you do get to eat out a lot. And most people would LOVE to have a sitting room attached to the kitchen. That is such a plus. So get going — get rid of the yellow walls– just primer them white. I’m sure that is what is clouding your thinking.
    And don’t spend the money on those columns! I’m with Christine — go buy some gold spray paint. $5000 will go pretty far with a gorgeous new kitchen sink…


  9. Darling Lily
    August 6, 2013 @ 2:46 pm

    Yes, they’re meant to Hold Things, but rather than something as plebian as ferns, I see one holding the crown the Universe will inevitably bring you and the other holding a tiara or two, the Necklace(s) of Invincibility or perhaps the Crown Jewels of Fancy.


  10. the misfit
    August 6, 2013 @ 3:00 pm

    This is hilarious. While I may also have a shiny-object-craving raccoon (I spent an UNREASONABLE amount of time stalking a woman who had the EXACT cabinet I needed for my tea and coffee, who would respond to an email and then vanish for a month and appeared to have some sort of mental problem. And then even after my rational mind realized I needed to look for a cabinet elsewhere, and even after I FOUND one, for FREE, I continued to mourn the loss of The Cabinet), my brain appears also to be occupied by some sort of hissing mongoose, whose name is probably You Have a Savings Account. After several encounters, the raccoon is wary of him. So I simultaneously sympathize with this post, and also think, “I wouldn’t even CONTACT someone who advertised anything less than a car for $5000. I would be offended on principle.”

    Now, onto the subject I’m more interested in: your kitchen. I don’t think those gold things belong in your kitchen at all. At least, not in that color(s). What if I could find you some sort of legit historic architectural salvage for less than $5000 that could actually go in your kitchen? (Enormous corbels, or some sort of fancy hardwood.) Then would you oblige us with kitchen plans? To sweeten the deal, I could send you antique and antique-compatible kitchen inspiration photos that roughly correspond to your floor plan, which might convince Paul that you’re making progress? Maybe. He probably knows you better than that :).


  11. Danielle @Storypiece
    August 6, 2013 @ 3:46 pm

    This is the first time that I’ve realized that your kitchen currently reminds me of Monica & Rachel’s on “Friends”. It’s a fun kitchen, but not quite right for Elegancy.

    PS. We’ve been watching WAY too much “Friends”


  12. Jen
    August 6, 2013 @ 3:55 pm

    So I totally love a good online challenge, and I see the address of the house where these items are located, it is a real address (I checked) why not just do a drive by? Maybe the reason they put the address is they WANT people to come and see the set not just email about it. Anyone classy enough to own that furniture obviously comes from a time where the proper way to make contact is face to face. I am not suggesting you get out of your car but IF they were out in the yard…


    • Victoria Elizabeth Barnes
      August 7, 2013 @ 1:30 pm

      I DID consider this… but felt it crossed an unspoken line of CL decorum. If such a thing exists?


      • Jen
        August 8, 2013 @ 1:44 am

        I was just sipping wine with a neighbor a few hours ago discussing this very subject. She had posted something for free on CL and left her address and the items in the driveway. She was annoyed that she had to go back and add that because she had posted the address she had to put COME AND GET IT after the fact. They have sent their address out into the world and the pillars are yours for the taking. If they are not home leave them a note;
        I would like the pillars, I don’t just feel the elegancy, I LIVE there.


  13. the misfit
    August 6, 2013 @ 4:37 pm

    Thus, while I know these things are not all shiny (I don’t give up easily):






    http://www.oldhouseparts.net/odds-ends/product/show/2056-oe-243/category_pathway-244 (if it is not obvious, this will house your stove hood)


    http://www.oldhouseparts.net/ironwork/product/show/4181-iw-96/category_pathway-227 (here’s your pot rack – beats the pants off an Enclume, and a fraction of the price. For a wee detour into rural Virginia. Not where I live, BTW. Though I have been to this place. And it is as awesome as it looks)

    http://www.oldhouseparts.net/plumbing/product/show/4335-plmb-195/category_pathway-249 (I see that you have a sink with a dish drainer to its left)

    http://www.oldhouseparts.net/plumbing/product/show/2585-plmb-130/category_pathway-247 (may be easier to fit with your existing kitchen)

    Also check out http://www.thebrassknob.com (though for some reason its catalog is presently refusing to load).

    Also also, you will need to go here: http://communityforklift.com/index.cfm. Check out their August sales (includes ranges and sinks!) and also the inventory highlights: https://plus.google.com/photos/107738264346223805524/albums/5860029573358870273/5898351243754191826?banner=pwa&gpsrc=pwrd1#photos/107738264346223805524/albums/5860029573358870273/5898351243754191826?banner=pwa&gpsrc=pwrd1&pid=5898351243754191826&oid=107738264346223805524. (Viking refrigerator…vintage gas stove…Cold War-era bathythermograph…pocket doors…card catalogs…column capital…French doors that would make magnificent cabinets a la http://www.southernliving.com/home-garden/decorating/antique-dream-kitchen-00417000071616/page5.html. Actually, I may need to head back there myself. I seem to need Victorian ceiling fans and some gingerbread for my porch)


    • Victoria Elizabeth Barnes
      August 9, 2013 @ 10:18 am

      A- you went to spam jail, my apologies.
      B- THOSE glass-front arched doors have been pinned in my kitchen board for a YEAR, with no source (whatever blog I got them from didn’t link back) so FINALLY being able to see the rest of the kitchen is gratifying. (Her countertop is awesome!)


  14. tammigirl
    August 6, 2013 @ 5:05 pm

    Those would be fun for a permanent limbo setup.

    Maybe in the foyer, so everyone who enters must limbo.


  15. NM
    August 6, 2013 @ 6:52 pm

    Victoria! HOW have you and Elegancy failed to recall that you can make Craigslist people bring their wares to You, and humbly sue for Your attention??
    Wanted: Gilt French Provincial plant stands. Please include photo with offers…
    Please limit yourself to no more than 10 or 12 of the things; the house is material, and can only withstand so much glorious glitter.
    Now, go design your kitchen. I’m thinking something like this: http://globerove.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/03/French-Provincial-Kitchen.jpg
    Ok, I realize it bears no resemblance whatsoever to the actual space you have, but surely Paul can fix that tiny detail?! And do add a few of those plant stands scattered about. Perhaps with genuine ferns perched on them?


  16. Marcia
    August 6, 2013 @ 7:30 pm

    Sweetie, while I love your raccoon.. That kitchen is NOT fine!! You clearly need an island and some nice countertops going on in there. I will send up some prayers to the craigslist gods, and you go FIX the kitchen!! Sheesh!



  17. Steve@AnUrbanCottage
    August 6, 2013 @ 7:34 pm

    You lost me on the “obelisks of awe” but elegancy will be my new favorite word. And I still love you.


  18. Heather
    August 6, 2013 @ 7:43 pm

    Victoria, I know what you are saying about a fine kitchen. When we bought our 1904 Denver Square almost 2 years ago, everything in it was fine, but weird. We easily updated quite a bit in the last two years. But, the kitchen — however much I hate the too tall cabinets and counters (4 inches taller than standard), the too modern custom built soild wood cabinets, the crappy fridge, the closed in feel in there — everything in it works. I don’t have to wash dishes in the bathroom, and don’t have to live in dust and chaos. I remodeled a kitchen 20 years ago, when I had a 9 year old, and 7 year old living with me. It was a great adventure for them eating cereal out of little boxes, and having pizza or happy meals for dinner every night, The nest is now empty, but I am reluctant to do it again, though I desperately want to make this one fit the house a little better, and fit my 5’4″ stature. I don’t cook that much anymore, but it would be nice to make it fantastic instead of just – fine. I actually have drawn out the plans, but unfortunately, my husband is not a power tools kind of guy, and he would rather deal with a fine kitchen forever than pay someone else to tear it apart, and rebuild it so that is sparkles. I’m working on him. Send Elegancy over please, I could use some of his nagging.


  19. Alex @ northstory
    August 6, 2013 @ 10:24 pm

    Ok but inquiring minds – aka me – want to know…if you got them…when you get them (because we know you will) where are you going to put them?? In the kitchen perhaps? Maybe a nicer thing to hold up the island.


  20. D'Arcy H
    August 7, 2013 @ 12:48 am

    You made my day by using the word “foist” in your post. Now, get busy on the kitchen. I want more people to feel as frustrated and crazed as I do!!


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *