Elvis has left the building.
We put Elvis to sleep last Tuesday.
It was time.
She had not been eating well and she just wound down and down… Even after Paul had a very serious conversation where he explained to her: earth is for eaters; if you don’t eat, you can’t stay… nonconformists will not be tolerated.
The hospice vet came to the house in the morning. We held her on our bed, on her favorite blanket. We told her that she didnāt have to be afraid, and that we loved her more than anything, and she willĀ always still be here, right in our hearts, forever.
Elvis’s head was on my shoulder when she died. I hope she didnāt know what was happening.
An hour later we took her to be cremated.
We took her all the way to the machine because my heart hurt to think of her being alone, or with strangers; and I wanted to be with her as far as I couldā¦ I don’t think she knows any of that. But it mattered a lot to me.
Then we waited for her ashes and took her back home.
She’s got a little shrine right now, with lots of flowers from the garden, and her fuzzy ball, and the small dish of whiskers she shed/I found over the last 12 years.
Itās on the spot on the rug where she would RUN, as soon as you walked in the door; she would start doing her aerobics because she wasĀ so excited that you were going to pet her…Ā At night she comes upstairs to the bedside table.
When I’m ready she’ll get moved to the Elvis Memorial Library. (Previously known as Cleveland bookcase)
For twelve years, Elvis was basically half of myself, soĀ I expected to be sad. Really sad. Debilitatingly sad. But I didn’t understand the actual FRANTIC physical sensation of missing her. Wanting to pick her up and feel her fur and talk to her and hear her purry chirp.
And I would like to say officially: THIS IS A HORRIBLE SYSTEM.
How has humanity not just curled up and died from incurable loss?
I literally do not comprehend how people survive when it is human family.
Iāve been camped out in my tent of sadness… it was really unmanageable at firstā the tent kept collapsing and trying to suffocate me.
But I think now Iāve got it packed into something more wheelbarrow-sized, which is nice and convenient because it’s portable, so when youĀ have a breakdown outside your house, you have all the supplies.
Making this video was helpful, but also so sad… I can’t believe she’s really gone.
*If you can’t watch the video, try reloading the page, or being sure that you aren’t inside of the Facebook app… it seems to break the video.
I miss everything about her. Our conversations. Her smell. Her chirp. Her smoochy face. Her white feeties. Her wompy ear.
But I know she had a wonderful life and THE MOST LOVE, and that’s really the best that any of us can hope for in this life.
August 9, 2016 @ 10:29 am
I know your pain, and I will agree, it is awful. It’s been 3.5 years since I had to let my cat Angel (Peep, Paneep, Peepie) go. She had cancer, and it was time. I was devastated. I cried at random for weeks. Even the other 2 cats couldn’t make me feel better. No amount of Chinese takeout brought home by my husband would help. I still miss her dearly, but it does get easier to live again. We recently welcomed a kitten into the fold, and all I could think was how I didn’t want to ever get another pet. But the new kitten reminds me so much of Angel. She acts the same, has the same meow. So I feel like I have a piece of her back.
I am so sorry for your loss of Elvis. Cats really do steal our hearts.
August 9, 2016 @ 10:29 am
I know this feeling – all these feelings. you have such a way with words and it is so comforting…….. recently lost my beloved father in a horrible tractor accident………. this has been the most helpful thing I have come across. really gets the feelings right where they are. yes. my tent kept collapsing. Perfectly put. Praying God’s comfort to you as you come to terms with this life changing loss.
August 9, 2016 @ 10:29 am
There are really no words. Elvis had a great life, surrounded by all the GFTs, but mostly surrounded by the GFT of your love. <3
August 9, 2016 @ 10:30 am
Oh, my darling girl! I was thinking of you and sweet Elvis the other day and wondering. The only way I have gotten through this is to picture a day in the future when my sweet Slim and Lilly will once again try to commit matricide by twining themselves around my ankles in some sunny distant garden. Love and prayers.?
August 9, 2016 @ 10:30 am
I am so sorry for your loss of such a dear pet and family member. I understand completely your feelings of loss and helplessness. I have had to say good bye to three beautiful dogs and two cats over the last 35 years. I held them all, stroking them as I told them how wonderful they were and how much they were loved.
The most recent was our black lab named Buddy. He developed an aggressive form of spleen cancer and we had to put him down immediately. We couldn’t bear the thought of this gentle giant suffering any more. What made it worse was the fact we were moving to Philly in a month where I knew no one. I missed his presence and one year later, I still do.
Your family will be in my thoughts and prayers.
August 9, 2016 @ 10:30 am
Oh my dear, I am incredibly sorry for your loss. I love and have always loved my pets and understand what your going though. Much love and prayers.
Lisa
August 9, 2016 @ 10:30 am
Hi, like everyone else, i just wanted to tell you how sorry I am for your loss. I know how it feels, like the whole world is crumbling around you and you’ll never want to do anything else in your life. Some people don’t understand it but cats are to us like kids that never grow up. Except that they pass before us and that’s a terrible tragedy.
However, you did the right thing and you were there with her the whole time. I know it matters a lot to cats to be surrounded by the people who love them right until the end. It does matter. I promise you.
Be strong! or be a little weak, it’s definitely allowed.
August 9, 2016 @ 10:31 am
Oh god I’m so sorry. When we put our Roscoe down in March I had to ask myself if it was worth the crushing loss to have enjoyed the love and companionship for 16 years, and I think that in the end, love wins. (I am crying at the airport and people are looking at me and inching away slowly).
I really am so sorry. There aren’t words, I guess.
August 9, 2016 @ 10:31 am
Oh, Elvis! Run free and romp and play on the other side, in all your amazing glory. Victoria, it is SO hard to suffer such a loss, but her soul is free and free of pain. Peace and blessings.
August 9, 2016 @ 10:32 am
Aww, that video. Many condolences to you and Paul. Elvis was lucky to have you as her humans. I’d like to think that she’s in heaven with her namesake, both of them wearing rhinestone-encrusted capes.
August 9, 2016 @ 10:32 am
I’m so sorry. So, so sorry. How blessed we are to share the unconditional love of animals. I lost my first furbaby last year and it still aches in the most unexpected moments. The hardest thing was opening the door and breaking the habit of reaching to pet the wiggling, eager head that used to always be there. I have rescued two dogs since, and I love them, but I miss Bailey. Her soul, her spirit, and all she was left a huge hole. Take all the time you need to grieve Elvis. She deserves to be mourned, to be remembered, for the love she had for you to be honored.
August 9, 2016 @ 10:33 am
I just lost my cat too, and this made me cry all over again, I feel your pain its so amazing how much they wrap themselves around your heart, I don’t know if I’ll ever get over the loss of this one, were getting a new kitten but more for our other Siamese who’s very sad and lonely over loosing her brother, I wasen’t ready, not sure if I will ever be.
August 9, 2016 @ 10:33 am
What a beautiful tribute to Elvis!! I am sitting here crying my eyes out!! So sorry for your loss š
August 9, 2016 @ 10:33 am
I am so sorry for your loss. I have had to put down my sweet little dog. It was unbearable but I stayed with her as well. I know that overwhelming feeling of loss and sadness. You don’t realize how much you will miss them until they are gone. They are not just animals, they are beautiful creatures that give us unconditional love, laughter, joy. They bring such meaning to our lives. Elvis was so lucky to have you as her human companion. Having you there to comfort her as she made her journey was definitely comforting to her. Cry as much as you want, let go and don’t worry what other’s think. Big hugs to you and your family. Xoxo
August 9, 2016 @ 10:33 am
I cannot stop weeping for you and Elvis. By the time I got to the video I knew I couldn’t watch it. We have had to do this several times…It’s what happens when you are elderly and you love cats and dogs. It never gets easier. Victoria, know that I am hugging you and allowing you to cry on my shoulder. Elvis was one lucky kitty to be loved so much.
August 9, 2016 @ 10:33 am
Elizabeth thank you for sharing this with us. My sympathy and heart go out to you and Paul. I don’t think there really is much difference between losing a pet you loved with all your being and losing a human you loved with that same fierceness. Love is love. I hope you and Paul will find peace and healing. You both gave Elvis a wonderful life filled with love.
August 9, 2016 @ 10:33 am
Crying. Life can be so hard. I guess the amount of pain felt is a measure of the joy that was received.
August 9, 2016 @ 10:33 am
I only made a few seconds before the tears, remembering all my long ago cats. It is always sad. When my children were young we talked about a pet’s death they said the best thing. ” cats don’t know they might die so they are never afraid, they are always happy” Right ? I said yes, trying not to cry myself. Remembering all the cats ( and a few dog too).
August 9, 2016 @ 10:34 am
I’m so sorry honey! I still long for the animals I have loved but I wouldn’t have given up my time with them for anything. It hurts this much because you loved that much. Hugs to you and Paul.
August 9, 2016 @ 10:34 am
They leave the home but never your heart. My sympathy to you and Paul.