Elvis has left the building.
We put Elvis to sleep last Tuesday.
It was time.
She had not been eating well and she just wound down and down… Even after Paul had a very serious conversation where he explained to her: earth is for eaters; if you don’t eat, you can’t stay… nonconformists will not be tolerated.
The hospice vet came to the house in the morning. We held her on our bed, on her favorite blanket. We told her that she didn’t have to be afraid, and that we loved her more than anything, and she will always still be here, right in our hearts, forever.
Elvis’s head was on my shoulder when she died. I hope she didn’t know what was happening.
An hour later we took her to be cremated.
We took her all the way to the machine because my heart hurt to think of her being alone, or with strangers; and I wanted to be with her as far as I could… I don’t think she knows any of that. But it mattered a lot to me.
Then we waited for her ashes and took her back home.
She’s got a little shrine right now, with lots of flowers from the garden, and her fuzzy ball, and the small dish of whiskers she shed/I found over the last 12 years.
It’s on the spot on the rug where she would RUN, as soon as you walked in the door; she would start doing her aerobics because she was so excited that you were going to pet her… At night she comes upstairs to the bedside table.
When I’m ready she’ll get moved to the Elvis Memorial Library. (Previously known as Cleveland bookcase)
For twelve years, Elvis was basically half of myself, so I expected to be sad. Really sad. Debilitatingly sad. But I didn’t understand the actual FRANTIC physical sensation of missing her. Wanting to pick her up and feel her fur and talk to her and hear her purry chirp.
And I would like to say officially: THIS IS A HORRIBLE SYSTEM.
How has humanity not just curled up and died from incurable loss?
I literally do not comprehend how people survive when it is human family.
I’ve been camped out in my tent of sadness… it was really unmanageable at first— the tent kept collapsing and trying to suffocate me.
But I think now I’ve got it packed into something more wheelbarrow-sized, which is nice and convenient because it’s portable, so when you have a breakdown outside your house, you have all the supplies.
Making this video was helpful, but also so sad… I can’t believe she’s really gone.
*If you can’t watch the video, try reloading the page, or being sure that you aren’t inside of the Facebook app… it seems to break the video.
I miss everything about her. Our conversations. Her smell. Her chirp. Her smoochy face. Her white feeties. Her wompy ear.
But I know she had a wonderful life and THE MOST LOVE, and that’s really the best that any of us can hope for in this life.
August 9, 2016 @ 8:51 pm
I’m so sorry for your loss. I cried the whole way through your video, and only partially because I lost my own fur baby earlier this year and can feel your pain, it’s a beautiful tribute. She was a beautiful girl and obviously had a very loved and happy life. My thoughts are with you.
August 9, 2016 @ 8:55 pm
Thank you for sharing Elvis with us. I have had three kitties in my life and I have loved them all. Due to my husbands allergies, we no longer have kitties, but I REALLY miss having them.
Remember all the good times, which I am sure you will, because of the wonderful video you have and all the pictures you have.
Your very fond reader, Carolyn
August 9, 2016 @ 8:56 pm
Thank you for posting this. I’ve been struggling with the decision to let my sweet Lady go. Today was the day and after heart wrenching bawling during and the constant weeping for the remainder of this saddest of days, I checked FB to maybe read something, anything to lighten my mood. I saw your post and said yay! she is always so fun, this will help. And it did. Just not in the way I imagined. Loss of anyone (human or animal) is painful yes but somehow eased a bit just with knowledge of another’s struggle. A communal commisseration so to speak. So thank you VEB. Thank you for sharing. May Elvis and Lady play together forever across the Rainbow Bridge.
August 9, 2016 @ 9:11 pm
You will be OK tho it probably doesn’t feel that way today. Please do not let your sadness keep you from sharing your life with another kitty. There will never be another Elvis, but your heart is big enough to love and receive the love and affection for another cat. Do it soon, you will not regret it.
August 9, 2016 @ 9:14 pm
Victoria I am so sorry for your loss, it is the ache we sign on for when we open our hearts and homes to our furry children. Elvis knows how much she was loved by you and Paul, and my wish for you is that you feel that love reflected back to you tenfold each and every time you think of her. Know she is always nearby, in spirit.
Sending light and love to you <3
August 9, 2016 @ 9:16 pm
I wanted to say something wonderful, heartwarming, and comforting. I’m really empty right now in my head, so it’s not working. Please know my heart is not empty and it’s full of you and Paul and Elvis and love.
August 9, 2016 @ 9:55 pm
Deepest sympathy for your loss. Losing a pet is absolutely devastating. Knowing she had an amazing life in your care should give you a bit of comfort. My current cat I found and bottle fed from 2 days old (according to my vet). My last cat was 18 and I cried my eyes out when I put her down. Mascara running down my face, Alice Cooper twin kind of crying. I hope in the days to come you will gain some peace and possibly at some point adopt another kitty. Big hugs to you during this time.
August 9, 2016 @ 10:00 pm
I can’t stop crying.
August 9, 2016 @ 10:13 pm
Grief just is awful. Pet grief therapy helps. We love our precious kitties more than anything. I am so sad to hear about dear Elvis. Was just thinking of you two today–seriously. Peace be upon you and your husband and know that you are not alone in your feelings. Hospice in our area should have resources. SO helpful. A new day will dawn. Until then, happy happy memories and lots of photos and tears.
August 9, 2016 @ 10:17 pm
***hugs***
seriously can’t even type after that video…
(and that was my Mom’s favorite song)
August 9, 2016 @ 10:19 pm
Made me cry at work! A friend recently lost her sweet tuxedo cat, Jasper, and her vet gave her a paw print in clay as a keepsake. I wish you healing. ?
August 9, 2016 @ 10:33 pm
Victoria and Paul ~ thank you for sharing a most excellent cat with your readers. She’ll be missed by many.
August 9, 2016 @ 11:08 pm
My heart is drowning, I feel your pain so intensely. Elvis left paw prints all over your world, and will be with you forever. When my first cat moved on she was 18. I told my boss I was going home and picked up a 6 pack. Unfortunately the beer was skunky so I couldn’t get blotto.
August 9, 2016 @ 11:55 pm
I’m so sorry ?
August 10, 2016 @ 12:10 am
Oh, Victoria and Paul!
I’m so sorry! Elvis was such a sweetie and I know everyone who reads and watches your blog has enjoyed her antics… I’m glad you were there with her when it was time… We did the same for our Golden, Skeeter. I held his paw and stroked his furry head telling him it would be alright. Alright for them, perhaps, but not always so for us… Sooo hard. Wish we could keep our fur friends close forever…
Love and prayers for comfort for you,
Barb 🙂
August 10, 2016 @ 12:31 am
I’m so sorry for your loss and grief. You did everything right; you gave her a wonderful life and held her at the end. She was a lovely little cat!
August 10, 2016 @ 12:32 am
Victoria, my heart aches for you. The video was so sad. My Sophie looked just like Elvis (minus the fabulous beauty mark) & I still wake up crying some mornings over the ache left for her…This type of pain, that must be bared alone is the most horrific. Just know she was loved with all you could give and someday (in the far off future), somehow, somewhere another animal spirit will enter your life that will temper the ache a bit and give you something else to love. My thoughts will be with you for the rest of the day 🙁
August 10, 2016 @ 1:23 am
I’m so very sorry for your loss. I know well the heartache of losing a beloved pet. Time doesn’t really heal completely, but the pain does lessen ever so slightly as time goes on. Keep all those wonderful memories close to your heart. They will, at some point, allow you to smile and laugh again.
August 10, 2016 @ 1:52 am
What a happy, funny kitty! I know that you hurt terribly and remember how acute the hurt is after losing a beloved, furry member of the family. My thoughts and tears are with you. I like to think that her wonderful spirit is out there tormenting the spirits of my pups.
Bambi
August 10, 2016 @ 1:54 am
Okay, that sounded a little weird–I mean tormenting as in teasing. I’m sure you understood but thought I should clarify for anyone who didn’t.
Bambi