Elvis has left the building.
We put Elvis to sleep last Tuesday.
It was time.
She had not been eating well and she just wound down and down… Even after Paul had a very serious conversation where he explained to her: earth is for eaters; if you don’t eat, you can’t stay… nonconformists will not be tolerated.
The hospice vet came to the house in the morning. We held her on our bed, on her favorite blanket. We told her that she didn’t have to be afraid, and that we loved her more than anything, and she will always still be here, right in our hearts, forever.
Elvis’s head was on my shoulder when she died. I hope she didn’t know what was happening.
An hour later we took her to be cremated.
We took her all the way to the machine because my heart hurt to think of her being alone, or with strangers; and I wanted to be with her as far as I could… I don’t think she knows any of that. But it mattered a lot to me.
Then we waited for her ashes and took her back home.
She’s got a little shrine right now, with lots of flowers from the garden, and her fuzzy ball, and the small dish of whiskers she shed/I found over the last 12 years.
It’s on the spot on the rug where she would RUN, as soon as you walked in the door; she would start doing her aerobics because she was so excited that you were going to pet her… At night she comes upstairs to the bedside table.
When I’m ready she’ll get moved to the Elvis Memorial Library. (Previously known as Cleveland bookcase)
For twelve years, Elvis was basically half of myself, so I expected to be sad. Really sad. Debilitatingly sad. But I didn’t understand the actual FRANTIC physical sensation of missing her. Wanting to pick her up and feel her fur and talk to her and hear her purry chirp.
And I would like to say officially: THIS IS A HORRIBLE SYSTEM.
How has humanity not just curled up and died from incurable loss?
I literally do not comprehend how people survive when it is human family.
I’ve been camped out in my tent of sadness… it was really unmanageable at first— the tent kept collapsing and trying to suffocate me.
But I think now I’ve got it packed into something more wheelbarrow-sized, which is nice and convenient because it’s portable, so when you have a breakdown outside your house, you have all the supplies.
Making this video was helpful, but also so sad… I can’t believe she’s really gone.
*If you can’t watch the video, try reloading the page, or being sure that you aren’t inside of the Facebook app… it seems to break the video.
I miss everything about her. Our conversations. Her smell. Her chirp. Her smoochy face. Her white feeties. Her wompy ear.
But I know she had a wonderful life and THE MOST LOVE, and that’s really the best that any of us can hope for in this life.
August 9, 2016 @ 3:33 pm
So sorry. I’ve had many cats over the years and it doesn’t get any easier. When my current kitty leaves us, he will be the last. He is a great companion, runs our household, and expects us to obey like he never would. I can’t replace that. Be comforted by all Elvis gave you.
August 9, 2016 @ 3:34 pm
I’m so sorry your time with Elvis had to come to an end. Eventually the ache in your heart will lessen, but that does not lessen her memory. Hugs and caring thoughts sent your way and I hope you find something fantastically outrageous on Craigslist to distract you.
August 9, 2016 @ 3:51 pm
I’ve been waiting with dread for this post and now I’m balling my eyes out. Oh Elvis, what a legacy darling girl. Love and condolences to you and Saint Paul.
August 9, 2016 @ 4:04 pm
My heart breaks for you, but remember you haven’t lost Elvis. She will be watching and waiting for you.
“No, heaven will not ever Heaven be. Unless my cats are there to welcome me.” – Anonymous
August 9, 2016 @ 4:21 pm
Hug and prayers for you and Paul. Only those of us who have loved a pet, as you loved Elvis, truly understand the depth of sorrow you are experiencing.
What we have once enjoyed we can never lose;
All that we love deeply,
becomes a part of us.
-Helen Keller
August 9, 2016 @ 4:23 pm
Oh, Victoria, I am so very sorry to read this! Thank you for sharing Elvis’ story.
August 9, 2016 @ 4:24 pm
When I read the title, I knew what had happened… My heart ached for you and Paul..
My hubby and I have been there with 6 cats, 3 dogs… It feels as if someone tears a piece of your heart out every time you have to go through that final stage.
I was with them every step of the final day in their lives; just as you and Paul were.
I understand where you’re coming from, since they were called our “fuzzy kids”. They give so much to us..
Elvis was deeply loved and cared for by you two… You made her one happy kitty.. She was lucky.
My deepest sympathies.
August 9, 2016 @ 4:42 pm
Pets give us the highest of highs when they’re with us and the lowest of lows when they leave. It never gets easier, the pain being just as deep with each pet we have to say good-bye to. Elvis was one very, very lucky kitty!
August 9, 2016 @ 4:42 pm
I’m so sorry to hear of your loss. There are no words of comfort that will ease the pain, I know this from personal experience. (((((hugs))))) to you and your Paul.
August 9, 2016 @ 4:53 pm
And can it be that in a world so full and busy,the loss of one creature makes a void so wide and deep that nothing but the width and depth of eternity can fill it up! – Charles Dickens . So so sorry for your pain . Tx
August 9, 2016 @ 4:58 pm
I’m reading this with tears streaming down my face because you so perfectly described how I felt when my fur babies died. So sorry for your pain. Nothing prepares you for the loss. It’s physical and emotional and all too much to handle at times. You’ll think about Elvis every single day, as I do my baby after all these years. Every day. Seems hard to believe, but there you have it. A piece of your heart is gone. Take care of yourself. XO Rita
August 9, 2016 @ 4:59 pm
So, so sorry…. Thanks for the video. Let me know sweet Elvis better….
August 9, 2016 @ 5:06 pm
I am crying while I read this because I remember the day I took my wonderful, loving dog to be put to sleep. She was 15 and had lived a long and very happy life, but I still was devastated when she died. I’ve had two black cats for the last nine years and I’ve worried from the day that they were rescued that one day I might have to put them down. I dread that day. Elvis clearly brought a lot of love and happiness to your life. He brought a lot of joy and smiles to mine.
August 9, 2016 @ 5:14 pm
This is a horrible system: SO TRUE. I have lost a human family member, and after the initial crushing grief subsided, this statement comes close to the summing up the feeling I had for the next year or two. Your words made me laugh and tear up.
August 9, 2016 @ 5:16 pm
I’m so sorry for your loss. It hurts so much to lose a beloved friend. As I was reading this post, Eric Clapton’s ‘Tears in Heaven’ came on. It seemed appropriate. and I cried for you.
August 9, 2016 @ 5:17 pm
So very sorry for your loss. ?
Only the passing of time takes some of the hurt away.
August 9, 2016 @ 5:20 pm
I started to tear up the moment I saw the email post title – then lost it completely during the last scene of the video. I am so very sorry for the passing of Elvis, you both had an amazing relationship with her. Sending lots of warm hugs your way.
August 9, 2016 @ 5:26 pm
I am so sorry for your loss. I know the heartache and pain and the loss feels unbearable. She was so loved and will be with you forever, you have a lot of good memories.
August 9, 2016 @ 5:32 pm
heartbreaking…. I know and everyone who EVER had a pet knows the feeling. But she is in a good place now. Many hugs & a prayer to you ‘parents’ and hoping that peace may come into your hearts and minds, knowing that E is safe and sound in your hearts & will be remembered forever.
This was the post I dreaded most for some time already… Now it has happened and your life seems empty and sad…. and will for a long time. You will never completely forget her and with time it will become bearable, just not yet. Hugs, hugs, hugs
August 9, 2016 @ 5:43 pm
I’m so very sorry for your great loss. I have lost beloved family and pets and cried just as hard for both. Our pets are ‘family’ in our house. Loved the video. Also loved the Elvis Memorial Library. Wish I had thought of it first!!!! Will definitely copy.