Christmas decorating… Part one.
Christmas is to bloggers, what tax season is to accountants.
Except with whimsy, and extravagance, and the need to not do anything anyone else is doing, and with the requirement to have 57,000 ideas that people will want to make and pin and share.
Ideas that will make people envy your home, your creativity, and your general existence on this planet… An existence that has somehow allotted you the free time to create your remarkable home, with your extraordinary creativity, with ease and joy and merriment and not wanting to stab yourself.
I would have liked to opt-out of that. But I got invited to participate in a holiday-home blog-tour and it made me look around and realize other bloggers are winning Christmas.
And because I am petty and childish, I find that unacceptable.
If there is a competition, I must be the winner.
Especially if that competition is empty and meaningless.
So I snorted some glitter and ordered a truckload of garland. When I filled out the order form, it said – choose your ship date. I typed– yesterday.
The Christmas house tour also clued me in to the secret of REALLY good-looking greenery: you need MORE. I cannot explain why I needed this demonstrated to me, rather than knowing it intuitively… But I am compensating for my past mistakes.
When Paul came home, he said – how was your day?
I said – GREAT! I ordered 200 feet of evergreen garland.
Paul said – 200 feet?
I said – yes. It will be an EXPLOSION of Evergreen. A lush, wintry forest of magic and Wonderland and sap all over everything.
Paul said – you found someone to MAIL you 200 feet of evergreen garland?
I said – yes! That is the beauty of the internet. YOU CAN HAVE EVERYTHING DELIVERED.
Paul said – do you even know how long 200 feet is? That is MORE than twice the length of our house.
I said – yes. I wanted to be sure I had ENOUGH. And if there is any left over, I will craft it into mini wreaths! Wreaths for windows! Wreaths for doors!
Then I told him –I also ordered a POUND of German glass glitter.
(Which you will be seeing twelve posts about shortly.)
And I bought four yards of taffeta.
WHICH I WILL SEW INTO GLORIOUS BOWS.
Then I smiled, all crazy-eyed and whispered in my just-escaped-from-the-lunatic-asylum-voice:
IT IS GOING TO BE A HOLIDAY EXTRAVAGANZA.
Paul said – right. It sounds like a nervous breakdown extravaganza to me.
So if you got this far, and are actually reading, not just looking at the pictures… I consider you my friend. And therefore will invite you to watch my debut on national television me make a bow on a Google+ hangout.
It is for a site called Hometalk. They are fairly new, kind of a cross between the social aspects of a chatboard and the practical aspects of Pinterest. They are doing a video about holiday decorating ideas and they asked me to do a demonstration of my post about how to make a bow.
And I have learned something already: when invited to do a video – IMMEDIATELY ASK IF YOU CAN GO FIRST.
Someone beat me to that, so I am second. And I am hoping the first demonstration goes wildly awry so that in comparison I look extra competent.
It would be great if she could accidentally light something on fire.
Update: here is the video. I am at 10:00. I talk too much and do not even realize that Elvis is cleaning herself inappropriately. Also, I refer to Paul as long-suffering. What I MEANT to say was– he is extremely lucky.
I was actually reluctant to invite you to watch me make a bow and I considered not mentioning it at all, but I am pretty sure that is not the correct way to promote myself.
I am someone who requires a lot of editing, and I am far, far, far better on paper than in person… It is certain that I will say something idiotic. Or catapult myself into the Christmas tree.
My biggest concern is the likelihood that I cannot make a bow and talk at the same time. (Not to mention how I do not even understand how to use Google+ and I need to get on that before 2 o’clock this afternoon.)
It also seems possible that my bow-making skills will fail me and I will be revealed as a fraud.
If this sounds interesting to you, here is the Google event page. You do not need to have a Google account or anything… Just show up today at 2 o’clock.
It is exactly like watching a video on YouTube. Except, it is live. So if I make up a spur-of-the-moment song about bows, there will be no erasing it from eternity on the internet.
see all my holiday decorating ideas
December 3, 2013 @ 5:06 pm
I love all the greenery, especially the mirror in the foyer. Did you decorate the other giant mirror (which I love)? Hopefully I will see it in other posts. Stay warm.
December 3, 2013 @ 5:08 pm
Victoria, I so totally enjoyed this post I cannot even tell you! I’m quite certain my co-workers were thoroughly convinced today that I (finally) went completely over the edge by all alone laughter in my office! Absolutely love your home and the greenery is stunning! So happy that you are part of this tour – you made my day! 🙂
December 3, 2013 @ 5:14 pm
I love that German glass glitter— it is season-less. You can use it anytime for anything! Which is good because it tends to get loose and you will be experiencing it for the next 5 years no matter what.
Great video! how nice to hear your voice
December 3, 2013 @ 6:15 pm
You are hysterical! Enjoyed our hanging out today. I’d take the bow you made live anytime!
December 3, 2013 @ 6:30 pm
Look at you getting all clever with the tip about protecting your furniture… love it! Your home looks beautiful and ready for carolers and spiked eggnog.
December 3, 2013 @ 7:09 pm
Your walls are beautiful…what color and brand is that? I want it!
Kathleen
December 9, 2013 @ 7:03 am
Behr, (Home Depot) Eggnog…
xoxo
December 3, 2013 @ 7:17 pm
There were pictures in the post? I need to go back and look 🙂
Just kidding!
Yes, yes, yes! YOU win the greenery award! The garland is gorgeous. Dang … everything is gorgeous! Every year we would cut down a cedar tree for our Christmas tree. I LOVED them! My arms and hands didn’t, though … ouch. So … inquiring minds want to know … did you use all 200 feet?
Hugs & Blessings …
Lani
December 3, 2013 @ 7:29 pm
the first line….i am still chortling 10 minutes later….
December 3, 2013 @ 7:34 pm
Dang! I read this too late to catch your google show. I would have loved to see you in real-live action. Maybe they archive those things. Love your garland!
December 3, 2013 @ 8:13 pm
OOh, my Victoria! I adore your Fabulous Christmas Tour and your garishly gorgeous sense of humor! What a breath of fresh air and EVERGREENS you are! Your home is absolutely outstanding.
Cheers to you!
December 3, 2013 @ 8:28 pm
You make me laugh, inspire me and always entertain. Thanks for sharing!
December 3, 2013 @ 8:55 pm
Wow! I love all your garland. I don’t think one can every have too much! 😉 Love your mantel tip! That’s a “why didn’t I think of that?” moment! Beautiful!
December 3, 2013 @ 9:52 pm
Your pictures are great but your words are way better!
December 3, 2013 @ 10:25 pm
I know your husband will say we are encouraging you …but you make me laugh, and your garland is fabulous! 200 yards might not be enough!
December 3, 2013 @ 10:52 pm
a POUND of German glass glitter?!? I think I am going to hyperventilate.
December 3, 2013 @ 10:55 pm
I am in awe…. It’s fabulous… I know how much work that is… My question is… how do you deal with the smell? I love evergreen, but that much and it’s like licking a car freshener when I walk in the door. One year I bought 4 large lawn bags of fir, pine and juniper and made garland for the whole house… It wasn’t nearly as lovely as yours though… 🙂
December 3, 2013 @ 11:07 pm
I like to refer to myself as a failed blogger – I used to post and now not so much. But I was invited to do a Christmas Home Tour and couldn’t turn that down. I’ll be with you ordering the craft supplies and trying not to stab myself!
December 3, 2013 @ 11:13 pm
I really envy you guys with your white Christmases and lots of green. And pine cones! Christmas here in Melbourne often involves lazing around in front of an air conditioner and finding excuses not to bake gifts for people because it’s way too hot for the oven. Maybe that’s just me. For this year’s tree I was going to get a branch from somewhere and decorate it all artsy like but then my sister told me she did that one year and crap dripped all over the floor and her furnishings. I’ve enjoyed reading through your blog, my house was built in 1930 and I am also dealing with Previous Owner’s Horrible DIY Jobs And Design. Next year is the year we renovate and I’m wondering what treasures (not…) I will find.
December 3, 2013 @ 11:16 pm
You are amazingly fun and inspiring, my dear!! I am in awe of your garland, your Hometalk hang out AND those Craig’s List Mirrors!! You are so talented!!
So happy to be on the tour with you!!
December 4, 2013 @ 12:47 am
OH WOW!!!! That’s gorgeous