Chaos… the only thing I have to offer you.
I know you were expecting a post about the Country Living Fair… and I am excited to show you what I got— it outweighs me!
But my brain is particularly bad right now… the firehose of mental chatter and ideas-I-must-begin-immediately is VERY LOUD and thus I am VERY BUSY; making a mess of things I will OBVIOUSLY never finish, but must start anyway.
SLEEVES!
MORE SLEEVES!!!
Longer.
LONGER.
The current trend for SLEEVES OF RIDICULOUSNESS fills me with JOY… but also disappointment because NO ONE IS MAKING THEM RIDICULOUS ENOUGH.
Why must I do everything myself?
THIS SHIRT IS GOING TO BE AMAZING!
Abandon it!
NEW PLAN! Buy two of THIS SHIRT… cut the sleeves off one, and SEW THEM TO THE OTHER!
AHHHMAAAAZZZINGGG!!
NEXT.
Botanical, dahling!
ORANGE BLOSSOMS!
Go to the fabric district.
WHY ARE THERE NO BOTANICAL PRINTS THAT LIVE IN MY HEAD?????
I guess I’ll have to paint my own.
Start now!
But first!
Make earrings OUT OF FRINGE.
Ugh!
STOP fueling the hamster-wheel-of-pandemonium.
BE SENSIBLE!
Get ORGANIZED.
Divide the towering pile of paper overflowing on the desk into three… throw the bottom third directly into the recycling! Don’t look at it… everything has resolved itself and those people hate you!
Time management!
High five!
Vacuum the house so that the couple coming to meet Mr. Bart and Little Mouse are not disgusted with the slovenly hovel they live in and take them only to rescue them from this pit of filth.
Figure out how the Victorians did not die of heatstroke.
(I google this every year, and continually fail to gain any kind of understanding.)
I have been reading Victorian Fashions and Costumes from Harper’s Bazar, 1867-1898 and the combination of the elaborate layers, and the fact that it has been 95-degrees-of-hades here for the last three days makes me SO CONFUSED how these people did not simply SWEAT TO DEATH.
I don’t care how heavy your drapes, or how shady your porches; can you imagine being a Victorian woman in July? With some combination of petticoats, bloomers, corsets, chemises, hoop skirts, bustles… UNDER the actual gowns, with some kind of shawl, gloves, hat?!?
Were these people totally insane?
BOWS!
It should go without saying that NONE OF THESE THINGS ARE WHAT I SHOULD BE DOING… and that if I simply focused on what NEEDS TO BE DONE, I would not cringe at the thought of checking email.
But these things are not merely ideas… the conviction that comes along with the idea, cannot. be. overstated.
Don’t forget to check Craigslist.
$20! Go buy this!
Why did I buy this?
We are already the house of nine-million chairs.
I LOVE the wood, but the shape of it is not really ME… I cannot explain why.
Sell it!
Research the etymology of the word grimalkin: an archaic term for an elderly female cat!
Make an obi.
WITH RUFFLES!
(Obviously.)
Appliqué!
A 40’s style turban!
WAIT UNTIL YOU SEE WHAT I AM EMBROIDERING!
Make roses from ombre ribbon!
ALL THE ROSES!
THE ENTIRE GARDEN.
Go. Now. Faster. More.
AN OBI MADE FROM RIBBON ROSES WITH TRAILING GREENERY.
Ok, that is a legitimately amazing idea.
Also make a matching turban!
Macramé!
Retro!
Vintage!
APRONS!!!
Lord, I am tired… but I still need to make pants.
The End.
ps- sometimes you people say things like– POST MORE OFTEN! I thought you’d like to know exactly what you were asking for.
June 14, 2017 @ 11:49 am
This is exactly why we want you to post more often – -you are so cool, interesting, a sharp dresser, full of AMAZING ideas . . . and I want to see what you are embroidering! Thanks!
June 14, 2017 @ 11:57 am
Thanks for reminding me of another reason why I love your blog in the first place. It makes me feel less alone in my own creative chaos. My distractions are far less fancy and I’m far less tech savvy (I could never pull off that bow or those sleeves and don’t even have an Instagram account) but my brain full of ideas and piles of half-done projects are just as plentiful. Not to mention, I’m also a huge cat lover (with a special special fondness for tuxedo cats– or “Holstein kitties” as I call them).
June 14, 2017 @ 12:22 pm
YES to all of the above. I fell slightly less crazy for redoing my bathroom on a whim on a day off work – painted the walls, floors (they will be replaced, but for now are unfortunate stick on tile, mirror, dresser, sink base, shelves, icky shower enclosure (with very stinky paint i might add), and have it all done before my husband gets home? yes! also dyed the couch and weeded a flower bed. when i get things done, i get things done.
ALSO please share the making of those glorious earrings! I need a pair stat! My cat crew may need a pair for themselves too.
June 14, 2017 @ 12:25 pm
I love you! This one feels like my life right now😂
June 14, 2017 @ 12:29 pm
I so enjoy living inside your mind, if only for a few moments every month or so ( is it really that seldom or am I just missing one here and there?).
My life is total chaos right now also, just not the kind that one chooses. Therefore, I LOVE reading about adorable cats, sewing, Craigs List finds and so many more interesting things that make your blogs a very welcome respite.
The Kingdom Mirror will always remain my favorite…even should you locate the Holy Grail at some point. And you probably will.
Thank you for sharing. 💜
June 14, 2017 @ 12:33 pm
I believe this post simply needs to say “It’s time for a vacation.”
June 14, 2017 @ 12:34 pm
OMG!!! I love you to death! Your brain works the same way mine does, you just have a much better looking place to show off the crazy wonderful things you do and collect!
June 14, 2017 @ 12:52 pm
I have botanical prints that live out of my head. They certainly don’t live on planet earth. You can see them at http://www.kathleenkelly.faso.com. Will send details on my upcoming show at PHS.
Happy day,
Kathy
June 14, 2017 @ 1:06 pm
You HAVE TO keep the chair! It is gorgeous! Do you have a daytime job? Is the sewing and making things what you do in your spare time? Just curious what job you hold and your title. Your home is lovely. Yes, I wish you’d post more often…let us know what mischief you are up to. Your followers love cats and antiques and decorating. We are all “off the wall” like you. Keep posting…Sherry
June 14, 2017 @ 1:07 pm
That blouse in the link ; the sleeves need to be lined. I was thinking a black and white pinstripe but you, being you , may want a botanical print lining. ????
Anyway love your blog and everything
June 14, 2017 @ 1:09 pm
Do you consider yourself a hot mess?
June 14, 2017 @ 1:21 pm
I absolutely CANNOT WAIT to see all this stuff you are crafting. Especially the turban, the roses, and the pants. May you not sweat to death in the pursuit of all things handmade and fancy. 🙂
June 14, 2017 @ 1:22 pm
Loved this post! And I hoard chairs too but I only want ones that are super-comfy. I don’t get the ‘chair as purely decorative object.’ Well, I guess I understand it, but in my small house all chairs need to be able to be sat on, by us or guests or dogs, for hours on end. This means that I’m the person at the thrift store or garage sale who is just bizarrely just sitting there camped out in the chair like a weirdo.
One question on the post – why would you buy TWO of the pompom fringe forever-21 blouse, then cut the arms off of 1 and sew them to the other? Are you planning on sprouting another set of arms soon (or did you already)?
June 14, 2017 @ 1:30 pm
Dear Victoria Elizabeth,
The average length of age at the turn of the century (1900) in the U.S. was 42. Perhaps heat stroke??
Also, there was a time when a party was held for a woman turning 40, she was officially old, and no longer allowed to do heavy work, gardening, etc.
Mighty Leaf Black Currant Iced Tea is my refreshment. It’s amazing. That and a fan blasting into my kitchen.
June 14, 2017 @ 1:40 pm
It brightens my day to see VEB in the mailbox. I love your ideas, humor, and compassion and just knowing there are people like you in the world.
June 14, 2017 @ 2:00 pm
My dear, three things. 1. Your chair “thing” is perfectly normal (by my standards). We currently have seven lounge suites – three of them Jacobean – and other seating of irresistible gorgeousness scattered throughout the house and garden, and joke that we will need to set up an “Ass Farm” business. I counted the chairs in the back garden yesterday out of sheer curiosity: 18. There are two of us living here. 2. If you live in a Victorian house, there is often no need for air conditioning. Factor in 13-foot ceilings with high air vents plus the judicious use of door transoms, ceiling fans and thick window coverings. Our summers often have 5+ days of above 40 degrees Celsius, but our rambly old house has never gone above 26 manageable degrees. 3. Sadly, having a cat will often put a damper on some of the best ideas. I used to be a tassel person…
June 14, 2017 @ 2:09 pm
You are by far the funniest, most articulate, most creative human being on the planet….Thanks for brightening my day….week, probably.
June 14, 2017 @ 2:10 pm
This post is exactly what we want! (and come to expect from you) You’re amazing. We love you, keep it up.
June 14, 2017 @ 2:34 pm
You are so amazing. Your level of complete irrationality and delight is the best, and I just got back to work from a lunch break where I bought two pounds of sushi grade Copper River Salmon which cost $85 because I had this idea that I absolutely had to have a Swedish Midsummer party this weekend and I absolutely had to make gravlax for the first time and now I REALLY REALLY hope it works out or that will be a sad and expensive disappointment.
Anyway, the point is that I was worried I was totally losing it and making really irresponsible adult decisions but you make me feel not alone and I love it!!! The sleeves are amazing!
June 14, 2017 @ 2:37 pm
I feel so exhausted now. Back to my zen/yoga position.