Chaos… the only thing I have to offer you.
I know you were expecting a post about the Country Living Fair… and I am excited to show you what I got— it outweighs me!
But my brain is particularly bad right now… the firehose of mental chatter and ideas-I-must-begin-immediately is VERY LOUD and thus I am VERY BUSY; making a mess of things I will OBVIOUSLY never finish, but must start anyway.
SLEEVES!
MORE SLEEVES!!!
Longer.
LONGER.
The current trend for SLEEVES OF RIDICULOUSNESS fills me with JOY… but also disappointment because NO ONE IS MAKING THEM RIDICULOUS ENOUGH.
Why must I do everything myself?
THIS SHIRT IS GOING TO BE AMAZING!
Abandon it!
NEW PLAN! Buy two of THIS SHIRT… cut the sleeves off one, and SEW THEM TO THE OTHER!
AHHHMAAAAZZZINGGG!!
NEXT.
Botanical, dahling!
ORANGE BLOSSOMS!
Go to the fabric district.
WHY ARE THERE NO BOTANICAL PRINTS THAT LIVE IN MY HEAD?????
I guess I’ll have to paint my own.
Start now!
But first!
Make earrings OUT OF FRINGE.
Ugh!
STOP fueling the hamster-wheel-of-pandemonium.
BE SENSIBLE!
Get ORGANIZED.
Divide the towering pile of paper overflowing on the desk into three… throw the bottom third directly into the recycling! Don’t look at it… everything has resolved itself and those people hate you!
Time management!
High five!
Vacuum the house so that the couple coming to meet Mr. Bart and Little Mouse are not disgusted with the slovenly hovel they live in and take them only to rescue them from this pit of filth.
Figure out how the Victorians did not die of heatstroke.
(I google this every year, and continually fail to gain any kind of understanding.)
I have been reading Victorian Fashions and Costumes from Harper’s Bazar, 1867-1898 and the combination of the elaborate layers, and the fact that it has been 95-degrees-of-hades here for the last three days makes me SO CONFUSED how these people did not simply SWEAT TO DEATH.
I don’t care how heavy your drapes, or how shady your porches; can you imagine being a Victorian woman in July? With some combination of petticoats, bloomers, corsets, chemises, hoop skirts, bustles… UNDER the actual gowns, with some kind of shawl, gloves, hat?!?
Were these people totally insane?
BOWS!
It should go without saying that NONE OF THESE THINGS ARE WHAT I SHOULD BE DOING… and that if I simply focused on what NEEDS TO BE DONE, I would not cringe at the thought of checking email.
But these things are not merely ideas… the conviction that comes along with the idea, cannot. be. overstated.
Don’t forget to check Craigslist.
$20! Go buy this!
Why did I buy this?
We are already the house of nine-million chairs.
I LOVE the wood, but the shape of it is not really ME… I cannot explain why.
Sell it!
Research the etymology of the word grimalkin: an archaic term for an elderly female cat!
Make an obi.
WITH RUFFLES!
(Obviously.)
Appliqué!
A 40’s style turban!
WAIT UNTIL YOU SEE WHAT I AM EMBROIDERING!
Make roses from ombre ribbon!
ALL THE ROSES!
THE ENTIRE GARDEN.
Go. Now. Faster. More.
AN OBI MADE FROM RIBBON ROSES WITH TRAILING GREENERY.
Ok, that is a legitimately amazing idea.
Also make a matching turban!
Macramé!
Retro!
Vintage!
APRONS!!!
Lord, I am tired… but I still need to make pants.
The End.
ps- sometimes you people say things like– POST MORE OFTEN! I thought you’d like to know exactly what you were asking for.
toni
June 14, 2017 @ 11:07 am
I need that chair. I’m only to the eight million mark. The only chair I sit in is the computer chair. Go figure.
Lisa R
June 14, 2017 @ 11:10 am
wait. chairs are for sitting? (note to self to observe this rule next trash night)
Kim bentz
June 14, 2017 @ 11:08 am
I love you. I found myself searching for “fancy” on Craigslist. Meanwhile,my budget allows for gluing bowls to posts to make a birdbath.
Rachel
June 14, 2017 @ 11:08 am
Hon, you need to lay off the speed! Dear Lord, it was like being inside my daughter’s head… Hummingbird brain… Also, from what I remember reading, Victorian ladies stripped down to their bottom layer of clothing and took a nap for a couple of hours each afternoon.
Carol Cox
June 14, 2017 @ 11:17 am
Victorian ladies did strip down in the afternoons and took naps, as Rachel commented. And they used WONDERFUL hand held fans, which were and are surprisingly effective.
Sue at Blu
June 14, 2017 @ 11:22 am
Uh-oh! Naked napping Vic mid-day!
Vonda
June 19, 2017 @ 12:03 pm
research Victorian fans MAKE A FAN…Oh how I get your brain…
judy
June 15, 2017 @ 12:50 pm
I do believe the Victorian afternoon nap enabled Lizzy Borden to deparentfy herself and live rich and happily ever after. The heat much have been so enervating that its effects were akin to coma or anesthesia
Suzanne Forbes
June 14, 2017 @ 11:11 am
I had no idea about “grimalkin” and learning that has enriched my day. I have a song I sing to the cats, it goes like this:
“Cattity-Cat-Things, Mom’s goin’ out!
You can’t come
Cause you don’t have thumbs.”
Some days all I manage to do successfully is sing them that song and go check the mail.
Carrie
June 14, 2017 @ 2:02 pm
Bwaaahahahaha! I love this song!
Lori
June 14, 2017 @ 11:13 am
I was already second guessing, and am now regretting, the decision to not purchase the top with the enormous bell sleeves at the thrift store yesterday. Dang!!….
Rachel
June 14, 2017 @ 11:15 am
I’m assuming you made the bow in your Instagram photo did you also make the earrigns? What are they? I am fascinated by your fashion sense (in a good way)
Erin Wallace
June 14, 2017 @ 11:18 am
Thank you…. I’m not the only one… Organize, flit, research, work, sell, buy, write, call clients, assist clients, love clients, LAUNDRY, oh no, going out of town today and haven’t packed yet, need to finish important work assignments, water plants – wait it hasn’t stopped raining in days – don’t water plants, try to be as fashionable as Victoria Elizabeth Barnes… (she can make pants and tassel earrings/cat toys why can’t you match an outfit), eat, sleep, repeat, ACCOMPLISH and love every minute…. Cheers from one to another!
Elizabeth Speicher
June 14, 2017 @ 11:18 am
You are fabulous! You rescue cats, champion good causes, find giant fancy things, come up with creative ideas for using said GFT and you sew! All those talents are the product of a very active intellect. And we readers are the beneficiaries. Hoorah for your chaos!
Katacradul
June 14, 2017 @ 11:20 am
You’re certifiable…just like me.
Mary
June 14, 2017 @ 11:20 am
Same here, except all the thoughts in my head are too much so I make sure the floors, kitchen and bathrooms are clean and then lay in bed and pin more ideas. I like to say I’m an ADD-OCD designer. Thank God I don’t have the patience to sew, that would put me over the edge.
Paige
June 14, 2017 @ 11:22 am
Wait do you not have air conditioning? Still? And Paul is ok with this? Admittedly it makes me feel much better being about to move into a house with no air conditioning (which is acceptable due to the fabulousness of the staircase.
Sue at Blu
June 14, 2017 @ 11:24 am
It’s like being inside of my own head ! I have an antiques/consignment store with 8,000 sq ft and it’s just ME! Too many projects, repairs, etc. Haha…thanks for making me feel normal!
Janet
June 14, 2017 @ 9:19 pm
I was thinking the same thing. Like how did she get in my head?!!
Rachel Nicholson
June 14, 2017 @ 11:31 am
This is a horrible thing to say to someone, but I think it’s warranted and I say it out of love: No more coffee for you today. I think you need to keep it down to not more than three pots a day.
Jennie Staub
June 14, 2017 @ 11:34 am
Oh, thank goodness!! It’s not just ME. I’m not alone in my hummingbird-ness. My husband is forever bemoaning my inability to focus on one task at a time until it is finished before starting a dozen others. He simply does not comprehend how the truly creative mind works and is forever trying to stifle mine. He’s an engineer so I know he can’t help but be that way. Bless his heart!
Patricia
June 14, 2017 @ 11:36 am
Post more kitten photos STAT! Your Instagram should be 90% kittens and 9 % amazing craig’s list finds and 1 % “other”.
I would follow that account.*
*I actually ALREADY follow you but I wanted to give you a little motivation. I would, however, urge all my friends and even random people I just bump into if you follow the formula above.
Ann Madara
June 14, 2017 @ 11:38 am
I’ll buy ur chair, I’m right nearby, and I’ll move it to the other house! Ann
Angel
June 14, 2017 @ 11:44 am
I think the ladies did a lot of fainting – oh, and afternoon naps!
The chair is lovely – if its still for sale, please let me know.
Bernie
June 14, 2017 @ 11:45 am
Those SLEEVES….the 70’s lives!!!! I had sleeves like those once upon a time….My helpful tip of the day: Do not grill, or cook at a gas stove wearing those sleeves. Just take my word for it….oh yeah, and you might want to skip using any power tools too. Dont say I didnt warn you. I think we could be friends. Right now I am…(if you dont count typing this):making Christening outfits, a Halloween quilt, an Art quilt for a group exhibit, finishing (maybe) a book for this evenings book club discussion, buying paint (already done this morning!) to paint the garage, but its raining, so I am off the hook and NOT doing dishes, paying bills, doing laundry. I will, however, watch an episode of Bloodline, or House of Cards during lunch. I have my priorities.
Tammy Daig
June 14, 2017 @ 11:45 am
Ok, stop, breathe, reboot. Drink more wine!
Tammy Daig
June 14, 2017 @ 11:46 am
Just breathe. Drink more wine!