71 Comments

  1. Gay Van Beek
    May 31, 2017 @ 10:52 am

    You are SO entertaining~~! Always love your posts.

    Reply

    • devon
      May 31, 2017 @ 12:33 pm

      BEST POST EVER*!!! Oh my i can’t stop laughing………and nodding in total agreement about every point and emotion you experience! Goodbye cruel world………been there, while furiously texting the play by play to siblings. Hang in there, might be the biggest challenge of your life so far, but you can do this!!
      Wish so much you would come do the Atlanta C.F.!!

      *P.S. Just kidding, all your posts are the best and I love seeing each one in my mailbox……….:):)

      Reply

  2. Penny
    May 31, 2017 @ 10:52 am

    the sink!!! the sink is AWESOME!

    Reply

    • Eliesa @ Pinterest Addict
      May 31, 2017 @ 11:40 am

      That was EXACTLY what I thought, the entire time I read the post… OMG. I would redo my entire kitchen – again – to have that sink.

      Reply

      • Holly
        June 22, 2017 @ 11:35 pm

        Curious as to how it was refurbished. I have a 1908 sink languishing in my basement but it’s completely crazed.

        Reply

    • Rebecca
      May 31, 2017 @ 12:20 pm

      VEB showed a photo of one of those sinks forever ago and it forced me to scrap my entire design and spend a (not) small fortune on finding one and having it refurbished.
      http://victoriaelizabethbarnes.com/giving-up-a-repurposed-kitchen-design/

      Reply

    • Rosalind Murray-Kendall
      May 31, 2017 @ 6:39 pm

      Haaaaa! Just you wait till it’s a resthome you are trying to find for them … my mother and all her opinions has just shifted into one and truly, NOTHING is going to make her happy. And your heartstrings will cut you clean in half as, after all, this is your Mother/Father and therefore, also, your soul mates. Good luck with it all!

      Reply

  3. Roberta
    May 31, 2017 @ 10:52 am

    PLEASE WRITE A BOOK.

    Reply

  4. Rosemary
    May 31, 2017 @ 10:58 am

    Best line for story of my life… “with the people who are MOST LIKE YOURSELF and yet UTTERLY INTOLERABLE “

    Reply

    • Kiki
      June 2, 2017 @ 12:47 pm

      … and there I was, thinking she was talking about Hero Husband and me…. LOL

      Reply

  5. Sindy
    May 31, 2017 @ 10:59 am

    Move to Tybee Island, Ga a few cottage reno’s are still around~ it’s a beautiful little beach town~ why we even have a place there I just updated a bit~! Full of Great neighbors and fun historical stuff to do in Tybee and Savannah! And yes, while I can’t go much in the summer we do rent it out~! For a little slice of heaven~ check it out~ https://www.airbnb.com/rooms/12309023?preview_for_ml

    And I have a WONDERFUL realtor~!

    Reply

  6. Deborah
    May 31, 2017 @ 11:01 am

    Victoria, I feel your pain! Going through much of the same thing with my parents. I might need to borrow your dart gun.

    Reply

  7. Harriet
    May 31, 2017 @ 11:03 am

    You are tres hilarious! When I told my husband that “the crazy blogger I love” is going to be at the Country Living show, he knew who I was talking about! I can’t make the June dates but working on seeing you in September.

    Reply

  8. Roechster
    May 31, 2017 @ 11:09 am

    I love your writing. I JUST LOVE your writing!

    Reply

  9. Sharon
    May 31, 2017 @ 11:13 am

    One of my all time favorite posts! 😀
    Best line:

    ” My mother would help us hide the body, and then she would make us snacks.”

    Reply

    • Sue Fiorentini
      May 31, 2017 @ 11:28 am

      This was my Mom too. I used to say if I was an axe murder my Mom would come to my defense and say they must of deserved it! It’s nice to have that unconditional love. She died from cancer when I was just 29 , enjoy your Mom!

      Reply

  10. Laurie
    May 31, 2017 @ 11:14 am

    You are going to kill me because I’m going to say something practical. I’m so sorry.

    My Mom already lives in a little beach-side town and is very happy. However, when you are talking about their retirement years, the home they want to live the rest of their life in, it needs to be someplace where there is great geriatric medicine available. A good hospital and good docs. It might be a lot different on the East Coast, but on the West Coast, the good medical care is an hour away over a mountain pass. This means my Mom who is already “living the dream” has to find a condo in town and give up the beach living in a few years.

    Just wanted to throw that out there while you all are still looking. Get the place close to the hospitals. It will also be easier to bring in daily nursing care when needed.

    Reply

  11. Pat Coletta
    May 31, 2017 @ 11:17 am

    This was exactly what I needed this morning. I laughed out loud I can SO relate. My heart goes out to you for being there to support your parents. Best if luck in finding the right place. I also like the vintage sink with orange cabinets. Too bad it’s squeezed in between beach Mc mansions.

    Reply

  12. Jayne Z
    May 31, 2017 @ 11:18 am

    Cats are much easier to live with!

    Reply

  13. Ann
    May 31, 2017 @ 11:18 am

    My father keeps stopping over at the house you visited (sans work apparel) and picking out finished rooms for my m0ther. My husband is ok with her coming there, I am not! Since she has no useful skills, I keep chiding (badgering) her to learn things now while my father is living because after he’s gone, I will be too impatient to help. IE: Mom: “Do you know what to do with Bok Choy? ” Me: “Mom, that is what the internet is for, you google Bok Choy, all the recipes appear right before your eyes.” Mom: “I think you put it in broth. I don’t go on that facebook.” Me: #%*#*& WTX?

    Reply

  14. Ellen Shook
    May 31, 2017 @ 11:20 am

    That last little yellow cottage is calling my name! LOUDLY!

    As one who is at least as old as your parents, and having had various sets of in-laws and out-laws over the years, I can attest that these family visits with ALL the sibs and significant others are vastly overrated and probably should be avoided at all costs. It will also save your parents money to have just one guest room. That way only one couple at a time can visit. Things are far more enjoyable that way, trust me.

    Reply

    • Barbara H.
      May 31, 2017 @ 11:44 am

      Oh yes, Ellen, I think you are onto something and have hit the nail on the head! Of course, I am an introvert who is slowly moving into my hermitage phase. No children or husband of my own but visiting with other family members can degenerate into childhood patterns quickly.

      Reply

  15. Lisa Smith
    May 31, 2017 @ 11:22 am

    Dear VEB,

    I have always wondered about something. Is Victoria Elizabeth actually your name or a nom de plume? It suits you almost too perfectly. Did you, as a neonate, somehow bend your parents to your already impressive will to give you the only conceivable name that would do you justice? Enquiring minds, etc. . .

    Reply

    • Victoria Elizabeth Barnes
      May 31, 2017 @ 11:36 am

      It’s real… my father named me after the queens of England.
      Paul would say it explains a lot.
      xoxo!!

      Reply

      • Joy
        May 31, 2017 @ 11:49 am

        You have a most impressive name. We named our daughter Catherine Anne Bradford, after multiple queens of England, plus Catherine the Great, of course.

        Reply

  16. Ralna Cunningham
    May 31, 2017 @ 11:23 am

    The right beach town might be in Panama. Only a plane ride away. Dollar currency, very friendly to American retirees, good healthcare. Maybe rent to get a feel for locations. Hmm beach? or cloud forest?

    Reply

  17. Lisa
    May 31, 2017 @ 11:25 am

    The last little yellow house IS. TO. DIE. FOR.

    Reply

  18. Samantha
    May 31, 2017 @ 11:26 am

    This entire post is a masterpiece. Does your family appreciate your genius?

    Reply

  19. Lisa Marks
    May 31, 2017 @ 11:30 am

    Hmm… For the right treasure I think I might wrestle you for it. LOL. Looking forward to this weekend!

    Reply

  20. Maryanne
    May 31, 2017 @ 11:46 am

    HAHAHA!! My hubs and I just spent 7 MONTHS trying to help his dad and step-mom find a new home near to us in NC. (They alternate between PA and FL, but wanted something in between). OH THE HORROR!!!! So. Many. Houses. They finally bid on two houses (after 7 months, remember), one of which the seller (miraculously) accepted their (lowball) offer, but after the inspection revealed the flooring needed to be replaced in ONE ROOM, they withdrew their offer, lost a ton of money, and decided to keep looking for a house that needed ZERO repairs. Their second (lowball) offer on a different house was immediately rejected and someone else bought it. Then they decided not to move here. So my work is done for now. But I get it. You are in that place of awfulness. I hope they find something they love soon!!

    Reply

  21. Janie
    May 31, 2017 @ 11:48 am

    Yes the sink is to die for and orange is definitely a bonus. Ah but the horror has a art deco look that I also find appealing! Thank you for making me laugh today.

    Reply

  22. scaloot
    May 31, 2017 @ 11:48 am

    That sink! That orange! My mom’s kitchen of the 70’s! Complete with ‘wrought iron’ hardware. Somehow I was blessed with a very adventuresome mother and a father who figured out early on that if she wanted orange cabinets his only question would be ‘how much paint do you think you need?’ I know it is a shock to your system when the family you spring from exhibits such strange proclivities as looking for some blah bland box but perhaps they are doing this to save those ‘special’ homes for the likes of us who see the bones of a good place. (Somehow trying to rationalize this aberration)

    Reply

  23. Melissa
    May 31, 2017 @ 11:48 am

    The original moulding will keep you warm, love it! Cherish these moments with them because it’s gone too soon.

    Reply

  24. Ann Thariani
    May 31, 2017 @ 11:55 am

    I love this post and especially love your description of your mother helping you hide the body and then making snacks. I was lucky enough to have a mother like that, too – and I miss her terribly. Please give your mother a huge hug and a kiss from me and tell her she is indeed the most perfect human being on earth.

    Reply

  25. Sue at Blu
    May 31, 2017 @ 12:00 pm

    Thanks girl! I needed you today! Keep it coming!

    Reply

  26. Pat (Registered Voter: The Maritime Republic of Old Town)
    May 31, 2017 @ 12:03 pm

    Myself, being that older parent, and having spent years researching from Dark Harbor, ME to Key West and the Caribbean, recommends Amelia Island. The “First Coast of Florida”, aka “Baja Georgia”, offers exceptional healthcare at Baptist (ask me how I know), with a Mayo Clinic in JAX should the need arise. International airport is just half an hour away. Atlantic beach combing and Intracoastal river minutes away on a 2 x 13 mile island offering everything anyone could want: historic downtown, deep shopping, wonderful restaurants, Old Town, Florida’s oldest saloon, a municipal airport, marinas galore, The Ritz, the Omni Plantation. Southern charm (we don’t hide crazy, we parade it on the porch and give it a drink) and friendliness with a redneck twist, and sufficient retired Navy to paint the town red, white and blue. Check out the demographics: Zone 9-A gardening, median age/income 51/$98K, 22 registered sex offenders (whoops!), low population density, etc.. Aerial tours on YouTube.

    Reply

  27. Suzen
    May 31, 2017 @ 12:12 pm

    That sink is the exact reason my husband and I now live in North Adams, MA. I saw a real estate photo of one with built in glass paned cabinets and off we went to look at the $29,000 house. Truly. (You know that problem you have with GFTs? I have it with cast iron sinks. My poor husband’s back!) We ended up buying a $55,000 Victorian which we “fixed up” and now live in. If the Berkshire Mountains and art and culture plus ridiculously cheap Victorian houses are of any interest to your folks, North Adams is the place to be. PS That conversation with your parents? That’s me and my husband, Paul. This is why I still have a job instead of retiring.

    Reply

  28. Jenny
    May 31, 2017 @ 12:24 pm

    I just want to encourage your wearing of fancy shoes while you twirl. Costumes are everything in flaming baton twirling.

    Reply

  29. Jan
    May 31, 2017 @ 12:32 pm

    I SO needed to laugh today. Thank you

    Reply

  30. Marianne in Mo.
    May 31, 2017 @ 12:40 pm

    As a retired person with limited funds, I can sympathize with your parents. Old homes ( in our eyes ) mean nothing but money loss on a daily basis. They have lived through that by raising you kids and saving for these years ahead. While it is fabulous to think of restoring a run down hidden gem, the stress level required for that may put them in an early grave. ( My husband had a heart attack two weeks after we closed on our former newly built home! Not a fun time, but he did survive. ) I can only imagine how reconstruction would affect them! So go easy on them if they don’t see your visions – or volunteer to make that orange kitchen, and the rest of the abode all it can be FOR them. You ready to take on THAT project? My suggestion – a villa or condo – less upkeep and usually close to medical assistance if needed!!!
    But I do bless you for trying to help them, and your brothers owe you BIG TIME! 😉

    Reply

  31. Karan
    May 31, 2017 @ 1:06 pm

    Love the orange kitchen, love THAT sink, had it redone in my brain already!! White cabinets, new stove and fridge, rip off the curtains for one on the bottom for privacy, bright white trim, color of the ocean walls, change hardware, etc, etc.
    Sorry, I digressed. …love the post!

    Reply

  32. Ross
    May 31, 2017 @ 1:53 pm

    The orange kitchen?

    I would buy the house just for the sink. I am serious.

    And this…

    Example:
    1. My father would bail us out of jail, but the disapproving silence on the drive home would be deafening.
    2. My mother would help us hide the body, and then she would make us snacks.

    …caused me to BURST out laughing.

    Reply

  33. Donna Gibson
    May 31, 2017 @ 2:07 pm

    SIMPLE Solution come to South Walton county in Florida. Affordable, new and built to resemble turn of century cottages. See listings at rosemarybeach.com
    BONUS: lots of cool antique shopping nearby. You wouldn’t believe how inexpensive it is here. (Compared with the east coast) AND no pesky snow. Year round beach living.

    Reply

  34. Marta Chausée
    May 31, 2017 @ 2:14 pm

    The best yet. Thank you!

    Reply

  35. Colleen
    May 31, 2017 @ 2:21 pm

    I am in a vaguely similar situation. My parents are planning to move into my grandparent’s unoccupied house. This will ensure that 1)their home will be uglier 2)each child+spouse, and aunt/uncle will have their own room (despite the fact that none of us live in the same state). There is only so much screaming into the darkness that I can handle. I feel your pain.

    Reply

  36. Abby Bean
    May 31, 2017 @ 3:24 pm

    I’m not sure if I’m relieved or disappointed that your parents have the same repetitive conversations that mine do. Peace be with us all!

    Reply

  37. Lisa Pyke
    May 31, 2017 @ 3:44 pm

    Love that sink! I laughed through the whole post and still shaking my head at how outrageously funny you are. When do we see more on the kitchen renovation? Is it done yet? 😳

    Reply

  38. Leticia
    May 31, 2017 @ 3:46 pm

    That is what I was thinking too. If I had an american pension I would retire somewhere in Latin America. Warmer and cheaper. I have always lived in Brazil but I don’t recommend it for american retirees. Almost nobody speaks English, the paperwork is a nightmare and money transfers are heavily taxed.

    Reply

  39. Lauren
    May 31, 2017 @ 4:29 pm

    You never fail to crack me up. Wish I could meet you at NY but then I wouldn’t be married anymore after the money/hoarding spree that is inevitable. They should have an AA for flea markets. Anyway just wanted to mention that I have a summer house in the best beach town in NJ (it was actually top of this years good housekeeping best beach towns) Ocean Grove, NJ. It has the most victorian houses than any other town, beautiful beach, great small town charm with old main street with soda shops! Great prices too (although they are on their way up). Normally I try to keep it a secret but you sound desperate. Plus, I’d get to meet (stalk) you when you and Paul come to visit 🙂

    Reply

  40. Jackie
    May 31, 2017 @ 4:33 pm

    I do have to admit the molding on that window was awesome. And, the farmhouse sink was how wide? AWEsome house all in all.

    Reply

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