Where I’ve been: sad.
Elvis has stomach cancer.
It will be terminal.
I have been wanting to write this post since her diagnosis, but it took me a while to crawl out of the sadness cave.
Figuring out what was wrong with her took a while. Lots of vet visits. Lots of blood work. X-rays. Ultrasounds. Allergy trials. Vet specialty hospitals. Endoscopy.
The official report:
Elvis is an eleven/twelveish-year-old female cat, with large-cell, gastric lymphoma.
Her treatment is chemotherapy, with daily doses of steroids.
The hope is that the chemo will induce a period of remission… although there is no hope of curing the kind of lymphoma that she has. At some point the cancer will become resistant to the chemotherapy, and she will come out of remission.
I think that chemo seems questionable to anyone who has ever watched a human loved one endure it… but it turns out that the goal of veterinary chemotherapy is different than human chemotherapy.
In people, the goal is to completely and aggressively eradicate all of the cancer. But in animals the goal is different– the concern of preserving their quality of life is equivalent to treating the cancer.
Elvis is seeing a veterinary oncologist and she explained that people are generally surprised at how well their animals do on chemotherapy… and for the most part, I would agree.
Right now Elvis has more good days than bad days, but the bad days are a bleak reminder that the good days are just a pitstop.
Her good days make me thankful— that she is here now, and hopefully for longer… I am thankful she is responding to the treatment and tolerating it acceptably, and thankful for the doctor and the oncology nurses who are so wonderful.
This is not at all the post I wanted to write.
I’ve written 57 versions of it to try to tell you how much I love Elvis. How she is my favorite thing in the entire world. How she has the sweetest heart of anyone I know. How my satisfaction rate with her is 100%. How it is not very often you get the very best thing in the universe.
And none of the versions are right. Because they do not reach through your screen and put Elvis on your lap, so you can feel her fur; which is superior.
Or see how she drools when you pet her. Or how she likes to sleep inside your clothing— while you are wearing it.
Or the way she likes to tell you how her day was. And how she will come and stand on her hind legs so that you will pick her up.
How she believes there is never NOT room on your lap.
And how she will come up and paw the covers at your neck so you will let her under… then she purrs as loud as possible while madly kneading your arm and drooling.
Elvis is my family in every sense of the word.
August 18, 2015 @ 11:32 pm
This brought tears to my eyes. Because I know your love and your pain. As my favorite kitty was diagnosed with small cell lymphoma just 2 weeks ago. The moment they said the word “cancer” I went into shock. “No. Not him. Not this one.” It sounds like he and Elvis have almost identical personalities – down to the drooling. 🙂 I am trying to be glad to know what is wrong so I can remember to cuddle him a little longer, have more inane chats, and relish his little idiosyncrasies (love of changing sheets) because we know time is limited. I will think of Elvis too next time he drags his claws through my hair to gain entrance under the sheets. Give her extra love for me!
August 19, 2015 @ 12:19 am
Every day is a gift. I am wishing you both many many more good days.
August 19, 2015 @ 12:33 am
Somehow, as soon as I read the title of your post, I knew it was Elvis. Her pictures are so sweet! I’m so sorry … there are no words that will make anything better, but know that so many of us completely understand how a cat can be your favorite thing on Earth. My Rosencrantz has been gone for 2-1/2 years (from pancreatic cancer), and I miss that boy every day. Just be with her and love her … that’s all she’s ever wanted. Enjoy every day. Hang in there, little Elvis.
August 19, 2015 @ 1:07 am
I’m so sorry for Elvis and your family! I’ve got a 12 year old rescue dog who has had 2 cancer surgeries so far this year. It’s not an easy path to try to give our furry family members the best life in spite of their diagonosises 🙂
August 19, 2015 @ 1:58 am
I’m so very very sorry. Pets are truly gifts to us.
August 19, 2015 @ 2:13 am
I’m truly sorry to read this, Victoria, you have my heartfelt sympathy. It’s so hard to let a beloved pet go, be thankful that you’re able to provide for her and make her as comfortable as possible. She’s a beautiful soul, and what you wrote is an equally beautiful testament to your love for her. Please try to enjoy what remains of your time together. Big hugs and blessings for you both.
August 19, 2015 @ 7:42 am
She is beautiful. <3 So sorry for you all going through this. Sending much love to you all.
August 19, 2015 @ 7:55 am
Oh, that dear sweet face and how beautifully you articulate the things that make Elvis so special to you. I’m so sorry that you are facing this but how wonderful that there are things to make her days better and to achieve remission. It is easy to see from your photos all those special moments that make your heart go all warm and fuzzy. I hope you and Elvis have many happy days, weeks, months, even years ahead of you.
August 19, 2015 @ 8:17 am
My heart goes out to you and Elvis. The love we give and receive from our pets is something truly special. Having recently lost our beloved “Jack” , a Bouvier rescue who was 14, the pain you are experiencing is very familiar. Although it makes your sorrow no less, know that you and Elvis are in my thoughts and prayers. How wonderful that you found each other and have given each other so much love and joy. That will be with you always. Hugs to you both and an extra special hug from “Albert” our kitty who we found in the alley behind our building when he was just 1.5 lbs three years ago.
August 19, 2015 @ 8:22 am
I am so sorry. I don’t know what else to say. This is so sad.
August 19, 2015 @ 8:32 am
When a loved one is ill it is though a heavy black rock has lodged in the heart and belly. She is loved, thank you for sharing Elvis with us.
August 19, 2015 @ 9:30 am
My heart is breaking for you and Paul and Elvis. It may feel impossible to tell the world how much you love him, but you have made us all feel your love for him since the beginning of your blog and we will all eventually miss him with you. As someone else said, here’s praying for peace and more good days for sweet Elvis.
August 19, 2015 @ 10:21 am
I’m so very sorry to hear your news. Sending big love to you and Elvis xx
August 19, 2015 @ 10:55 am
I am so sorry to hear about Elvis. I am glad her good days are outnumbering her bad days. It’s helpful to remember that she will have bad days, of course, but she will still love you the same on those days.
We found out about a month and a half ago that our 8 1/2 year old golden retriever, Maddi, has a rare form of cancer. We thought she had pulled a muscle in her front leg somewhere. She had a cancerous tumor wrapped around her elbow that had also spread to her lymph nodes. We had her front leg amputated and they took the effected lymph nodes as well. It is an unimaginable decision to do something like that but I am so happy we did. She is now undergoing chemotherapy as well to treat the likely spread of cancer at a microscopic level. We, too, are impressed with how well she tolerates the chemo. I don’t regret a single decision we’ve made for her as one more day with her is so worth it.
I hope Elvis continues to do well on her chemo treatment. I think our attitude has a lot to do with our pets’ attitudes. I am sure you are smothering her with love that she surely is eating up. I wish her all the best.
August 19, 2015 @ 10:56 am
I have missed seeing a weekly post in my inbox and often wondered if something was amiss. So sorry to find the reason to be sad news. Giving thanks for time you have left with lovely Elvis.
August 19, 2015 @ 10:57 am
Oh I’m very sorry. I hope you have a lot more time with your adorable Elvis. My kitty turns 1 on Friday and I’m so in love with her. I completely understand how important Elvis is to you.
August 19, 2015 @ 11:10 am
Oh dear. My heart aches for you, Paul and Elvis. I have lost two beloved kitties and a cocker spaniel within the past several years and it is so heart wrenching. I can even cry about the cocker spaniel from my childhood who died when I was a senior in high school. That was in 1973… I received some wonderful advice from a friend who suggested writing down every little teeny tiny thing about my Charlie, Mollie and Madeline just so I would remember and could read what I’d written years later… We always think that we’re going to remember everything, but we don’t and it’s the smallest of things that we often forget. It’s such a comfort now to read and remember the funny antics. Anyway, I know that Elvis knows he’s loved. I wish him much luck with his treatments and a wish that they give him a longer, healthier life with you.
August 19, 2015 @ 11:11 am
Oh Elizabeth, my heart goes out to you and your family. I wish I could make her better. Having a cat is one of the best things in life, they fill a space in your heart that you never even knew was there. Elvis will always be with you no matter what. I am sending you prayers and wishing you peace.
August 19, 2015 @ 11:39 am
I have a senior cat, Lovey ( Miss Love when we are formal) and she’s struggled with urinary issues since I rescued her. She is the one who has been beside me for everything, she snuggled during radiation and forgave my illness when others turned away, she followed me through four provinces, forgives me everything and still adores me. When I felt unlovable she showed me I was wrong. She’s aging and having eating issues, has gray hair and stumbles a bit. It will break me in half when she goes. I understand the love of a cat, it’s like no other.
August 19, 2015 @ 12:43 pm
I am so sorry…maybe it would help you to remember that the little boy in the book, ‘Heaven is For Real’, said Jesus has a white horse. It comforts me to believe I will be with all the precious animals I have lost in heaven……