Trash night is the best night.
Paul was away for work last week. A rare occurrence that affords me the opportunity to eat peanut butter for dinner and contemplate the prevalence of ax murderers.
Have you noticed how there are at least 12 times more ax murderers outside your house when your husband is away?
Before Paul left, he said – please do not put anything in the garage while I am gone.
So. Now all these pots are sitting in our driveway.
Prior to marrying Paul, it would not have occurred to me to get out of my car and sift through someone’s trash.
Paul is the one who taught me that trash is not trash… Trash is stuff that other people have been stupid enough to leave at the curb for you to steal.
Paul would bring home a corpse, if he thought he could salvage something useful from it. But he does not have the “collecting” gene.
Obviously I could not leave behind a crate of perfectly good Mason jars. Never mind that I do not make jam. Or can. Or preserve. And even if I did, there is no way I would put food in jars that may last have held cyanide.
But they will be perfect for some simple holiday decorations. OR, if you like your Christmas decorations more complicated… Stick around! I am going to make your wildest dreams come true.
(I have been spending way, way, way, way too much time on Pinterest. My IQ has plummeted to negative.)
Anyway. This was the best part of the trash.
It’s a Flexible Flyer baby sled, model 28. And the best part is that it is stamped on the bottom- made in Philadelphia.
I tried to get Elvis to model it for you. And you can see how that worked out.
This is now my second vintage item that is cat-appropriate. Which is exciting, because once you have two, it can become a collection.
The first was a vintage doll stroller that I bought specifically for her. Which is A – weird on my part. And B – not something she wanted to have anything to do with.
I am pretty excited about the sled as holiday decoration. I skipped Halloween. And Thanksgiving. If I do not do Christmas, they will take away my blogging license.
(Obviously I am kidding. There is no license. Any idiot can have a blog.)
However, it IS true that I am legally required to create fantastic and whimsical tablescapes. And what could be better than putting an ENTIRE sled on your dining room table?
I removed the handle and the wheels. I was afraid I’d have to get Paul to grind the bolts off because they’re rusty, but some oil loosened them up.
I have 57,000 other things to tell you, but I am having a totally disorganized week life.
My entire downstairs is an explosion of holiday crap… Exactly like last year when I wrote a post asking myself WHY DO I HAVE SO MUCH CHRISTMAS CRAP?
Followed immediately by me getting EVEN MORE Christmas crap in the form of a giant bin of disco balls.
This year I have really outdone myself… considering that today I am expecting a delivery of ONE POUND of German glass glitter AND 200 FEET of garland.
I am tired already.
I will love you EVEN MORE… if you share me with your friends.
November 21, 2013 @ 9:32 am
I wish I could go trash hunting!! You scored some amazing stuff!!! Love your posts~
November 21, 2013 @ 9:33 am
Not only is your house classier than mine (blog requirement) but so is your garbage! The only surprises you find around here is cat poop and old kitty litter. Even a pound of glitter can’t save that. Although I did find a perfectly good medicine cabinet that just needed sanding and painting to be adequate (it was never going to be fabulous as it was made of MDF). After hauling it 600 miles home, I decided I really didn’t like it very much and neither did any of my family or anyone else I offered it too so I took it to the Goodwill so I can make room for much more FABULOUS trash that may come my way … but if I hadn’t hauled it home, it would have haunted me.
November 21, 2013 @ 9:38 am
Well, I’m kind of impressed. I’m afraid I won’t have the energy or even desire to do anything and then everyone will know I’m a disappointment when it comes to home glamour.
You know, the mirror balls and glitter can be totally rationalized as dual purpose decorations. Both Christmas AND New Years.
That’s called foresight and planning!
November 21, 2013 @ 9:42 am
The sled!! OMG it is great!! Save the handles and wheels you never know when YOU might need it!! Trash to treasure is great. I remember the first time I asked my friend to STOP! STOP! There is a chair I want it I NEED IT! He wouldn’t stop. So I yelled JUST PUT ME OUT and come around the block I’ll be down there (I pointed to the next block) when you come back!! Don’t you know that they WANT you to take that stuff????? IT’S FREE!!!! I did my best snake oil salesman on him. It worked. He was converted to my way of thinking. Now he tells ME to stop!
November 21, 2013 @ 9:44 am
I enjoyed everytime i receive one of your latest post! I love your writing style, so clever and funny!
November 21, 2013 @ 9:51 am
You’re funny as hell. And I love you for it! Right now I’m looking at 2 small chairs that I got from the trash across the street from my Mom’s house a year ago. I had them recovered and visitors ooh and ahh over them now. So pick away and continue to share all your fabulousness!
November 21, 2013 @ 10:04 am
Some super finds! I was intrigued by “ONE POUND of German glass glitter”, I clicked on the link which lead me to the following:
California residents: Click here for Proposition 65 warning.
WARNING: This product contains chemicals known to the State of California to cause cancer and birth defects or other reproductive harm.
Sorry to be a negative Nancy, but wanted you and others to know.
November 21, 2013 @ 10:13 am
Why did I not realize you are on Pinterest, the great black hole of time wasting? I’ve been down more rabbit holes on Pinterest the anywhere else, and now I have you to follow! The sled is an amazing find. Quite a value! Love canning jars – we moved recently, and I divested myself of all my clear jars, but still have a lovely collection of blue. But I digress – the real reason I’m posting a comment?? One POUND of German glass glitter? That is an indescribable, whole LOT of glitter. I’m so happy with my little pots of the stuff, I cannot imagine a whole pound! Waiting with baited breath.
November 21, 2013 @ 10:17 am
Excellent trash pickings! Love it! LOVE the sled! I, too, am always looking…you just never know what you may find! Firewood, pots, culled garden lovelies! I made an entire bed of peonies, daylilies and hostas from some kind soul’s leavings on the curb! Have some great chairs, too. Amazing what a good scrub, some paint and a little fun fabric can do!
November 21, 2013 @ 10:21 am
I’m not sure what glass glitter is, but if it is made by Germans, it must be fantastic. And vintage mason jars? What a lucky find. I would totally can in those. I bet the cyanide can be eliminated with a good scrubbing. (I would buy new lids, though.)
November 21, 2013 @ 10:34 am
Did you really buy eight jars of glitter from amazon? Has no one introduced ypu to the glory that is saveoncrafts??????
http://www.save-on-crafts.com/germanglitter1.html
November 21, 2013 @ 4:02 pm
it will not surprise you that I am PARTICULAR about my glitter… And save on crafts only carries the fine grit. I like the medium.
I ordered the small jar last year, this year I ordered on eBay… But it has not come yet, so I cannot endorse it.
November 21, 2013 @ 8:30 pm
I love that you even know there are different grits
November 21, 2013 @ 10:39 am
What fantastic finds! I love a good trash pick! I’m reupholstering a sweet 60s French style chair that I found in my neighbors trash. It was in ghastly shape but now looks fabulous.
November 21, 2013 @ 10:43 am
That sled is ab-fab! Free? Be still my heart. And German glass glitter? YES! Everything should shine. SPARKLE IS MY FAVORITE COLOR! (I live in E. TX. where big and sparkly is required for resident membership) Thanks for making me laugh today. Also, I had a wonderful collection of old mason jars that I used at one time to make “Fire and Ice Pickles” to give to neighbors instead of cookies. Amazingly simple recipe, no cooking and people still beg me to make them for them during the holidays. There is one secret ingredient. I finally just started giving the recipe out. It is so simple. Let me know if you would like the recipe. Happy Holidays!
November 21, 2013 @ 11:59 am
Yes, I would love ant secret recipe, good for gift giving! Sara
November 21, 2013 @ 1:59 pm
Well, of course I want the recipe! You brought it up, tantalized us with the mere mention.
November 21, 2013 @ 4:03 pm
People are demanding the recipe.
November 23, 2013 @ 3:21 pm
Glad to share the Fire and Ice Pickle Recipe! (Originally from Southern Living Magazine several years ago.)
2 (32 oz) jars medium size whole dill pickles, drained
4 cups sugar
2 Tablespoons Louisiana Brand Hot Sauce (this is the secret, Tabasco DOES NOT taste the same)
1/2-3/4 teaspoon dried, crushed red pepper
3 whole cloves garlic, peeled
Cut pickles into 1/4 inch slices. Combine pickles, sugar, hot sauce and red pepper in large bowl, stir well. Cover and let stand at least 2 (or up to 24 hours in refrigerator) stirring occasionally. Spoon mixture into sterilized jars with 1 clove garlic per jar. Cover and refrigerate up to 1 month. (Or you can hot water can)
Makes 3 pints or 6 half pints.
(Be forewarned. Go ahead and give the recipe or people will be at your door demanding you make them more.)
Hope you enjoy them!
November 21, 2013 @ 10:59 am
I swear, you are channeling my thoughts. You rock, and I LOVE your posts. Thanks!
November 21, 2013 @ 11:10 am
Clearly you have a better class of trash in your neighborhood than I do. The jars are a sweet find, and the sled, shut up.
November 21, 2013 @ 11:27 am
Well, IF an ax murderer shows up, shove him in the bankers chair, tie him up with that 200 feet of garland, and sprinkle him with glitter. I know you could do it!
November 21, 2013 @ 4:05 pm
I pretty much fell off my chair laughing. I can even guarantee you that my mother will CALL me to tell me how funny this was.
November 21, 2013 @ 11:38 am
That sled is stunning! I’m surprised that no one tried to sell it on Craig’s List, but then I remember that would be just like us to donate or trash something like this. So glad it has found new life in your holiday decor. It looks amazing!
November 21, 2013 @ 11:58 am
I am overwhelmed, THE MASON JARS and the SLED, also, everyone can always use a cooler.
Also, awesome chair!
First, I know exactly what I would do with The Mason Jars —let them sit until I was inspired, that could be a month or ten years. However, and having grown up with a Mother who would leap out of the car on a moments notice to cut flowers growing by the side of the road, I do keep clippers in my car and the 16 ounce mason jar fits perfectly into one of the cup holders in my car and is perfect for a vase! The flowers never seem to make into the house and I can travel in style, with a mason jar filled with blossems as they did back in the old days. Great as well for when people get into the car and say… “Huh, never thought of having a mason jar of flowers in my car,…..how festive?” And I say “Yes, Quite!”
November 21, 2013 @ 12:43 pm
I wondered why Save-On Crafts was out of German Glass Glitter. Now I understand.
November 21, 2013 @ 4:07 pm
I already said this above, but it bears repeating to you, my fellow glitter troll. Save on crafts only carries the fine grit. I like the medium.
November 21, 2013 @ 1:13 pm
What idiot would put that sled in the trash?? It’s so darn sweet – I love it!
November 21, 2013 @ 5:29 pm
I know! Hours later I’m trying to curse whatever idjit put that thing in the trash.
I’m comforting myself with the explanation that VEB must have lied about it and requisitioned it from the porch of a little old lady.
November 22, 2013 @ 9:58 am
Because stealing it from old ladies is much better than imagining some idiot throwing it away!! We have “Big Trash Day” here in Oklahoma City once a month…mine is the first Monday of the month. I have even taught my kids (from an early age, mind you) the value of curbside shopping. I am on the lookout for a discarded bottle tree frame.