Selling everything I own… episode: The Kingdom Mirror.
The last time I sold all of the things I own, it was to acquire The Elvis Memorial Library.
It was a simple trade:
Everything we own, in exchange for one single item of magnificence.
But I failed to specify that IT WAS ONLY MY OWN OPINION that this new thing was my own personal favorite… so I got email telling me that ACTUALLY, it was NOT that great. And I TOTALLY OVERSOLD IT. And you were expecting something BIGGER. And BETTER.
And a bookcase is totally uninteresting.
And it’s ugly.
And also I am stupid.
So, to clarify: I am selling The Kingdom Mirror TO REPLACE IT WITH SOMETHING UGLY AND ALSO I AM STUPID.
It’s how I roll!
It seems unlikely to me that anyone here is unaware of the time I found a MASSIVE MIRROR via Craigslist IN AN ALLEY… but in case you somehow missed it, it was TREMENDOUSLY EXCITING.
You can read the original post here: The KINGDOM mirror– proving that you NEVER KNOW what is on the other end of a Craigslist ad.
Usually, when I am selling stuff, I do not mention it here; because our shared affinity for GFT’s (giant fancy things) makes me uncomfortable to take your money.
I know this for a fact because I have sold stuff to some of you; and have felt distinctly uneasy to have the interaction include cash.
I overthink everything.
It’s one of my most expert skills.
But The Kingdom Mirror is how so many of you found me… IT’S BASICALLY THE BEST THING THAT EVER HAPPENED TO ME… and I didn’t want anyone to feel that I failed to be… I don’t know… forthcoming?
Also, whenever I list something that I’ve written about, on Craigslist, YA’LL KNOW IT’S ME, and are like, wait! why are you getting rid of this!?!
And then I have anxiety… like you will think I am… what… LYING TO YOU?
ABOUT HOW FULL OF CRAP MY HOUSE IS?
Why is this a thought process I have?
I am a crazy person.
The answer to why I am getting rid of something is ALWAYS:
I FOUND SOMETHING BETTER.
I need money.
Do not despair!
There is SOME good news!
What is coming, is SLIGHTLY BIGGER THAN THE CURRENT KINGDOM.
But that means I need a wall (on the first floor), at least 6’ wide, with no vents/returns at the baseboard… and seeing as how thus far, I have been unable to convince Paul to reroute the HVAC, I have to axe something.
The Portal to Narnia
Elvis Memorial Library
The Kingdom Mirror
It might surprise you that I did not even need to think about it… my braying love of SHINY THINGS camouflages a truer love: DARK WOOD. Mahogany, walnut, rosewood… (not ebonized, unless just accents.)
Victorian Renaissance Revival is my favorite; spanning about 1850-1880, the style has a fair amount of variation… I am not into the high-relief carving of flowers, fruits, animals… which is weird because those are quite literally all of my favorite things… but not in furniture.
For whatever reason, the STUFF that makes me twitch is architectural motifs: pilasters, columns, pediments, balusters, corbels, pedestals, brackets, grooves, risers, cornices, ribbons, crests, Corinthian capitals, Doric columns, CARTOUCHE… stringcourse! architrave! with some acanthus leaves and tassels thrown in for garnish.
Essentially: THE FANCY THAT REPRESENTS FANCY FOR NO REASON OTHER THAN FANCY.
Which reminds me, IMPORTANT ASIDE: one of you sent me VICTORIAN ARCHITECTURE COLORING BOOKS… they also have historic houses of New England and Godey’s fashion! I did not even know these were a thing!
I’m selling The Kingdom Mirror to make room for a new behemoth.
(that you will hate because it is ugly and i am stupid)
I am making a mess of my house by stacking GFT’s in front of each other… because I should have already gotten rid of the kingdom… but what kind of lunatic just GETS RID OF A KINGDOM!
So I waited too long to deal with it and now almost FOR SURE I’m going to have a traffic jam of GFT’s… because selling something the SIZE OF A KINGDOM, for more than pocket change, puts you in the very slow lane.
As you can see, it’s listed on Philadelphia Craigslist for $3,000… could I get more? Sure…? maybe..? if I had all the time in the world; and if I don’t get rid of it, before something gets STACKED IN FRONT, maybe I’ll revisit.
While I’m at it… I might as well tell you I’m selling EVERYTHING ELSE TOO… not for what is scheduled for delivery; but for something I saw at FANCY CHANDELIER SHOP that gave me fitz.
FITZ! <—fancier than regular fits.
However, if you are like me, and you have never purchased anything from an ACTUAL antique STORE… you may be unfamiliar with how it works; what happens is: you have to pay MONEY.
LOTS OF MONEY.
And if you can’t PAY THE MONEY, you cannot have your thing.
EVEN IF YOU REALLY WANT IT.
wish me luck.
SEE ALL MY FAVORITE CRAIGSLIST FINDS!
April 19, 2018 @ 11:44 am
Will there be ummmm, a memorial or something when this is sold? Like, how can it go with no fanfare???
April 19, 2018 @ 11:47 am
VICTORIA! I NEES THIS MIRROR! I need to have a shrine built for you at my house. I will love it forever, please don’t give it to anyone else who will pretend it isn’t fabulous. I’ve followed you for years. No one else deserves it.
Victoria Elizabeth Barnes
April 19, 2018 @ 11:55 am
I WANT to tell you— TAKE IT BECAUSE I KNOW YOU WILL LOVE IT AND THEN YOUR ENTIRE LIFE WILL BE PERFECT AND MAGICAL.
WHAT KIND OF HIDEOUS MONSTER WOULD KEEP THAT JOY FROM YOU?
Self wants to only give this to people who come with fistfuls of cash.
Self is Al Capone with a newfound chandelier fetish.
April 19, 2018 @ 1:50 pm
you are a sweetheart…Self is a cunning,calculating fricking Genius! Motto: Get GFT stuff-the real stuff of Life and don’t spare the horses or maybe a yuge pick up truck? Moving van? your own 747!
April 27, 2018 @ 5:50 pm
I’m slowly wearing my husband down to the idea of owning this GFT. But he is making me sell my other mirror first. I just hope you can’t tell it before I figure out the logistics of it all. Self is clawing inside my brain until it is mine😂
April 19, 2018 @ 11:48 am
At least I am afforded the relief of knowing that this will absolutely not fit in my house. So I don’t even have to bother wanting it. I greatly admire your ability to get rid of things you like. As for the new GFT? Bring. It. On.
April 19, 2018 @ 11:51 am
Can’t wait to see !!!! Good luck !
April 19, 2018 @ 11:52 am
That Victorian Coloring book is what Amazon Prime was made for!!
April 19, 2018 @ 11:54 am
There is no other writer…anywhere…ever…that I love more than you VEB!!!!! You kill me…I go into ‘fitz’…😹😹😹😹😹
April 19, 2018 @ 11:59 am
I have faith in you Victoria, I’m sure the new GFTs will be glorious. Especially the chandelier, as there is no such thing as a less than spectacular antique chandelier.
My only complaint is that you live so far away as my husband is refusing to drive from FL to pick up a mirror that won’t fit in our home. As of one day we won’t live in an old Victorian! Men – no vision!
April 19, 2018 @ 12:07 pm
Do you think there is a chance the person who buys it will start a blog and let us all into their personal lives, and home, and treat us to a tour of all their other treasures? Me either, but it would be fun!
April 19, 2018 @ 12:07 pm
I am shocked and bewildered that you would give up the Kingdom Mirror—the coolest thing ever. Whatever this new GFT is, I’m on the edge of my seat to see it.
April 19, 2018 @ 12:09 pm
Stop the world, I need to change into mourning clothes. VEB and the kingdom mirror is my favorite love story, and my heart is forever broken.
April 19, 2018 @ 12:57 pm
I’m right beside you. This is a twist in the story most unexpected.
The Kingdom Mirror Story was soooooooo meaningful for my husband as he learned there are others in the world almost as diligent in the pursuit of “things” as I am. Almost.
April 19, 2018 @ 12:12 pm
okay that video clip made me smile, laugh and laugh out loud. love the music the dancing the cats.
And the bookcase is DEEEvine
April 19, 2018 @ 12:13 pm
Not the Kingdom Mirror?! Noooo!
Seriously though, it served you well. Off to your new story, K.M. And welcome to your new life, Big Fancy Thing to Come!
April 19, 2018 @ 12:26 pm
Do I miss some of your posts? Do you post regularyly? It seems they randomly arrive in my email. I really like you blog…a blog like no other, and I look forward to viewing your latest in exchange for the mirror..after all that trouble. You have a wonderful husband for being so patient. He has to like all your fancy things too. Thank goodness he does not INSIST on “Atomic ranch” decor!!!!
April 19, 2018 @ 12:26 pm
You are right to get rid of that Mirror.
Dark Wood is better than gold.
April 19, 2018 @ 12:27 pm
I’m a little confused. Is the GFT you’re selling the mirror for, the bookcase/cabinet that is in the video at the top of this post? If so, I think you made a fantastic decision! If not, I’m still confused. 🙁 But the glass front cabinet is beautiful (an understatement) and so much more useful than a GF mirror, don’t you think?
April 19, 2018 @ 12:28 pm
So sad to see the mirror go its my favoite story. still the story remains if the mirror does not and now there will be a new story for self to tell cant wait to hear it! Good luck with the sale, hope it sells quickly and for more than you ask for it!!!
April 19, 2018 @ 12:30 pm
(I understand but) not the Kingdom Mirror! You’re right – it’s exactly how I found your blog and I haven’t missed a post yet! @lmichelleforrest
April 19, 2018 @ 12:30 pm
I totally get this…You…All of it…And that is maybe not such a good thing! But who cares…I love the hunt and the adventure and the True Love Finds. So glad I found you. 🙂
April 19, 2018 @ 12:32 pm
Wow, $280 to $3000. That’s quite a monster flip! Great work!
April 19, 2018 @ 6:34 pm
My thoughts EXACTLY!! Why, oh why, can I not come across some GFT such as this, grow tired of it, and replace it with something more of a GFT? At 10x the profit? Oh yeah, cause I reside in the desert southwest where all the GFT’s = dried up, dusty, cowboy paraphernalia……boo hoo! LoL!!
April 20, 2018 @ 7:25 am
“dried up, dusty, cowboy paraphernalia”!!! This made me LOL!!! 🙂
April 19, 2018 @ 12:44 pm
So glad you are keeping the Portal to Narnia. One day I want to go there.