Do I really need a range hood?
SEE OUR FINISHED KITCHEN HERE!
I need to tell you my deepest darkest kitchen secret:
I do not like a range hood.
I hate them all.
I particularly detest the massive monument-to-wasted-space that has become a bizarre status symbol; like mounting a Range Rover over your stove.
Sure, you can choose one that is low-profile, but that would be in direct opposition to the opportunity to install an oversized jet-engine, directly in the place your face goes while standing at the stove.
Although obviously, (like any sensible person) I would trade a good portion of my soul for this kitchen.
Those sentences above areĀ the beginning of a post I started months agoā¦ Back when I thought I could withstand the scorn of the internet if I chose to not waste money and space onĀ an appliance that I will never use.
However.
I have since begun to fear the wrath of the Appropriate-Cooking-Evaluators: a band of angry militants who patrol the internet for violations which offend them personally; and who believe that forgoing a direct-vented range hood is akin to voluntarily injecting yourself with Ebola virusā unbelievably stupid.
Like this kitchen below– so terrible! Let’s take a moment to reflect on how badly we feel for these people that their kitchen is so subpar!
Iām practically BLIND FROM HOW HORRIBLE THIS IS.
So whyĀ would I considerĀ an about-face from hood-denier to herd-animal; when my preferred response to scorn and judgment is always to dig in my heels and run forward towards the executioner?
I guess the internet has broken me.
Specifically, a particular element to the internet that pervades every single topic that people can possibly form an opinion about: the mindset that there is ONLY ONE GOOD ACCEPTABLE WAY to do something that has zero impact on anyone else’s life.
The ONLY ONE GOOD ACCEPTABLE WAY people believe ONE THING, and then that is ALL THEY BELIEVE and they make it their lifeās work to make sure anyone not doing THE WAY is immediately disqualified from life, clapped in irons, and dragged to the town square to be flogged for idiocy.
Which, upon reflection, is the source of all human conflict through history: your own opinions are fine, but other peopleās are moronic and intolerable and deserving of the flaming cannonballs with chains.
Unless they happen to agree with you, in which case they are well-informed.
The ONLY ONE GOOD ACCEPTABLE WAY peopleās initial input is well-meaning! (If bordering on didactic and unhinged.)
But if you fail to PROPERLY HEED THEIR WARNING AND APPRECIATE THEIR WISDOMā¦they become enraged.
WHY! Why would someone WHO HAS BEEN WARNED!! Fail to instal a direct-vent range hood???
Look at THESE IDIOTS! Living without a range hood!
Imbeciles!
Ā
I am thinking specifically of a kitchen-chatboard thread, where a woman explained that it was IMPOSSIBLE to direct-vent her range hood. And she wondered if (seeing as how she couldnāt direct vent,) could she just skip the questionably-effective-substitute-which-is-essentially-just-a-fan and install a light fixture she had fallen in love with.
It was the light fixture of her dreams! A design element that would bring her peace and joy and goodwill towards all! A lamp that would improve her very existence on earth and she could die happy because SHE HAD THE BEST LAMP.
The responses variedā¦ but there were an ALARMING number of respondents who were EXTREMELY BOTHERED by the fact that this woman was not gutting her kitchen to the studs and reconfiguring everything towards the goal of direct-venting the range hoodā¦ and she should probably just go out and rent a bulldozer THAT VERY NIGHT and knock it all down to the ground while flagellating herself for having considered any other option.
Ā
They basically went on to suggest that she was a filthy, squalor-dwelling subhuman moron.
And as I read on and on and onā¦ I have to tell you that I was AMAZED at the PASSION total strangers were bringing to disparaging this woman and her lamp… I mean, who has time for lengthy screeds decrying other people’s DESIGN CHOICES?
And then I was EVEN MORE AMAZED at how these people do not realize that they look like flaming lunatics.
My FAVORITE response was from a woman who wrote:
This one time, we didnāt have a range hood, and we had to THROW AWAY ALL OF OUR BELONGINGS INCLUDING THE FURNITURE after one monthĀ BECAUSE THEY SMELLED SO FOUL AND HORRIBLEĀ from non-vented cooking odors.
I donāt know about youā¦ but that does NOT sell me on a ventā¦ it DOES, however, make me wonder WHAT THIS WOMAN IS MAKING FOR DINNER.
Anyway. All of this is to explain that I do not want a range hood.
But that I am thinking about it anyway.
Because of the internet.
And I am mad about it.
The way Iāve decided to deal with this irritating anxiety that MY kitchen in MY house designed to MY preferences might draw the ire of some random stranger on the internet is to turn it over to you.
Here’s what you need to know: our township construction code does not require one. I will not have an eight-burner stove outgassing 67 billion btu’s/therms/whatever other specs.
Ok! GO FOR IT!
This is your chance!
I WASH MY HANDS.
And if you fail to draw me out from the cave and convince me of the shadows on the wall, then you must return to your war room and inform the other ONLY ONE GOOD ACCEPTABLE WAY-ers that your method is flawed.
Please make a good argument! Definitely do not include information like this: you NEED a hood!
Because: SURPRISE! I do not!
I can prove that to you because we HAD a hood! It was direct-vented!
And I NEVER USED IT.
I never used it SO MUCH that I had Paul take it out.
Every single night I was likeā WHY IS THIS THING RIGHT IN MY FACE?
Until eventually I was like– Plague of nonsense, BE GONE!
p.s.ā save some outrage for the post where I explain how Iām thinking of not having a freezer.
xoxo,
VEB, squalor-dwelling subhuman moron, esq.
January 8, 2017 @ 9:10 pm
Ha! This is gold. I don’t really care whether you go hood or not. And I hope you don’t cop flaming cannon balls with chains.
Personally I’m not a fan of the big industrial range hoods either – I think they stand out like dog’s balls! But I do like the smell-sucky action they provide…so I like to opt for hiding them in an old fire hearth like Ć la french provincial.
I would like to say regardless of whether you go hood or not, please, for the sake of my OCD, don’t go a beautiful ornate gold mirror for a splash back like in that GORGEOUS pic above. Don’t get me wrong. I love it. It’s GORGEOUS…but my god woman, think of the grease and spatter. You’ll send Windex stocks through the roof!!!
April 5, 2021 @ 2:50 pm
I just happened upon your post and must say, Thank You for making my day!!! I’ll be giggling endlessly ’til lights out, and probably still giggling tomorrow.
YOU are RIGHT. I’ve had a direct-vent-hood-in-my-face and I really did not like it. Hooray for bloggers who encourage us to think for ourselves and do as we please.
Hope you’re having a beautiful spring day!
January 9, 2017 @ 4:25 pm
You could wire and plumb for it now (use the biggest diameter round ducting you can fit in there… some vents require 8″ or more for a wide stove with lots of vent space) while your walls are open, then it’s easy to add later and selling point for your next buyer.
We don’t cook fish or meat, but used to, and fish can be smelled throughout the house for days if we didn’t have the vent on while cooking.
If not a vent, you need nothing for the first 5 or so feet above the stove height. Because it will be dripping with grease even from just the oil pan frying and soup-making we do. (So will the vent, if you don’t turn it on).
Our vent also adds heat lamps, just above fold-down wire racks, which is useful for keeping things warm. And the regular lights are at the perfect angle so you don’t have any shadows when cooking.
Overall, I’m a fan (get the pun?) but you could make do without. I’d still rough it in for the future buyer, or possibly if you change your mind.
January 9, 2017 @ 10:23 pm
I just wanted to comment because I love that this entire post is really about those people … the people who need to have their internet taken away. Why are there so many people out there that care SO MUCH about what other people they’ve never met and probably will never meet, are doing in their own homes…? We will likely never know.
Good luck with your kitchen remodel!
January 10, 2017 @ 10:51 am
Absolutely without a doubt admire your humor. Well done. You are a Master.
I think it is the matter of what you cook that should be considered. Several comments mention grease and frying and fish. Ummm….yeah…flesh smells when it is cooked so get a hood fan if you must. One woman mentioned smoke and grease and smoke alarms. She doesn’t need a hood fan. She needs cooking lessons.
I don’t use a hood fan and am also not putting a freezer in my kitchen when we remodel in two years. I love to cook. Im vegan – for the animals and Mother Earth. My husband and 3 children eat chicken but very little of it. i mostly make fresh quick meals for us. The roaster for the twice a year holiday bird (I don’t eat it) and the crockpot cook in the garage because the delicious smells are torture. I learned I had to keep it in the garage because it can cause odors to linger for days not to mention cause me to stuff my fat face for 8 hours. I see no need for a hood fan or freezer in our kitchen. Healthy vegan cooking produces the most wonderful sweet smells! Everything is fresh and unprocessed which makes a freezer mostly useless. We fill our small freezer with bags of bulk frozen fruits and veggies and beans. When we remodel, the fridge we have now will move to our basement pantry and we’ll install a sub-zero fridge in our kitchen. I do have Windows in my kitchen that I can open if necessary but I realize that is so 1800s.
You do your thang, sweet lady. Oh and thank you for fostering. I have three adopted dogs a rescue turtle and 2 rescue canaries. How sad that we cage animals for our own selfishness. Im hopeful that someday there will only be empty cages in my home and around the world, but until then, I adopt the broken ones nobody wants.
I’ll keep sharing!
January 13, 2017 @ 11:10 am
2 cents from an architect – having a range hood is not about smells, it’s about air quality, especially if you have a gas range. Every time you cook, you are basically making smog in your home. Just because you can’t smell it or see it doesn’t make it less dangerous to your health. This is why code requires them, not because they want to “ruin your home” with an ugly vent, waaaah waaahh.
“They estimated that 60 percent of homes in the state that cook at least once a week with a gas stove can reach pollutant levels that would be illegal if found outdoors.”
http://newscenter.lbl.gov/2013/07/23/kitchens-can-produce-hazardous-levels-of-indoor-pollutants/
January 16, 2017 @ 6:42 pm
God. I LOATHE vent hoods. Besides being huge and ugly, the ones that are remotely decent cost as much as a used car. So, obviously, (since code where I live didn’t make me) I didn’t get one when I redid my kitchen. My ceilings are only 9.5 feet, and I do cook a really lot. Many years later, I am hunting for vent hood solutions, as well as procrastinating a thorough clean, prime and repaint of my ceiling, which is gross. Here’s the thing: depending on what you cook, grease and whatnot IS going to get up there. THEN, you’re going to cook a big pot of pasta, and when the water boils, the steam goes straight to the ceiling and sort of shifts around the (previously undetected) film of scum that’s up there. In short: I hate them all. I don’t have room. I would rather spend money on virtually anything else. And yet, I’m on the hunt for the tiniest vent hood in the world. (PS: Downdrafts don’t work.)
January 17, 2017 @ 9:13 am
You don’t NEED it.
Wish I knew how to post pictures here. My kitchen (in 1890 Queen Anne Victorian) has no hood. We purposely purchased a stove with a down draft I think it’s called. I have beautiful shelves above my stove that my husband built (we copies from a magazine that had shelves above stove). Also I HAVE A LIGHT ABOVE STOVE. So both offenses we have committed. Kinda looks like the picture of the Nantucket kitchen.
I will say – I keep antique pitchers, tins and bottles displayed on those shelves andon the bottom shelf the items gets sticky from grease. I wash them maybe 4 times a year. Top shelf doesn’t get bad, the light (pulley style with white ceramic shade) is OK too. I hardly have to wash that. Wall is tiled up to the first shelf.
I LOVE THE LOOK and that’s what counts.
Oh yeah the smoke alarm occasionally goes off. So what?
January 18, 2017 @ 7:44 am
I’m not a morning person but this woke me up bc I can’t stop laughing! …throwing out the furniture, (and the CAPS) omg lmao š
January 20, 2017 @ 5:04 pm
I admit it! I do not like vent hoods. I think they ruin a kitchen. I haven’t had one for many years of my twenty-seven year marriage. I also think it has to do with how one cooks. I am certainly not deep frying foods or cooking smelly foods.
I also do not like built in kitchen cabinets because I like to rearrange my furniture often. So I am planning an unfitted European kitchen for our new home. I already have several antique pieces of furniture I will use instead of traditional cabinets. I will top some of them with marble. I have marble now in my kitchen and can’t imagine not having marble.
I also do not like upper kitchen cabinets because it makes a kitchen feel small. To make up for the loss of cabinet space I will use an antique armoire and another glass front tall cabinet.
January 23, 2017 @ 1:08 pm
I have a crummy, weak , cheap range hood that is the equivalent of having nothing & my entire kitchen & everything in it is coated in sticky grease-not the kind of grease that you can just wipe off either. It is gross. I read the other day that rubbing alcohol will get it off, so now I’ll be climbing onto a ladder wiping everything off with that. Just imagine your fabulous wood BFTs covered in sticky goo & I don’t think rubbing alcohol will be good for their beautiful finishes.
Just my humble opinion.
January 24, 2017 @ 1:14 pm
Have a hood. I use said hood. Still have to open windows to avoid being screamed at by the stupid smoke detector. Still have to clean ALL THE THINGS because it is not direct vented and just mists everything with food gunk. Window and a small fan is my best option. Plus, why must is sound like a jet engine?! Why?!
February 9, 2017 @ 4:32 pm
Well, if you ever fry something greasy, the smell WILL permeate your house and furniture, and cling
to things like your drapes. Then when someone comes into your house, they will be smelling old cooking smells.
Having said that, you need to do what makes you happy. What makes you smile when you enter the room. Whether that’s a pretty pitcher, or no range hood. It’s YOUR house. Do what you want.
(I would have to draw the line at staring at myself in that huge mirror while I’m cooking though. {House Beautiful})
March 20, 2017 @ 1:50 pm
Have a center island with stovetop on it. No rangehood. Have successfully lived in the house for over 9 years raising a family and cooking 3x daily on it. No issues and my ceiling isn’t even sealed with paint. I live with the windows open in the summer and put a bowl of vinegar out if something stunk a little longer than a few hours. I don’t cook with masses amount of oil just not part of my cooking culture. I don’t have greasy walls or ceiling. My life has not been adversely impacted for lack of a range hood. In fact it is one less thing to clean in the kitchen.
March 31, 2017 @ 11:24 am
Grew up without range hoods. There absolutely unnecessary and waste of valubale space. Built our latest home without a hood, had to battle the architech and jump through a few hoops but got it done. We have a 6 burner gas range and have never had a problem.
May 11, 2017 @ 12:20 am
1)I love you. This post is PERFCTION.
2) We don’t have a hood. By choice. Outcome? Total happiness. Regret? NONE. (And for the doubters: Frequency of cooking? 21(plus) times a week.)
3) The only time our house smells? BACON (In the oven, and therefore not even ventable. And I think you’re vegetarian or something, so you’ll be fine.)
4) I vote you forget internet crazies and enjoy your hoodless house. Cuz I enjoy your blog, immensely š
May 18, 2017 @ 3:23 pm
Love your writing. So funny. I need more humor in my life, so I’ll keep reading.
Found your blog because, like you, I do not like a range hood. But I do like a lot of glorious light. Instead of the in your face monstrosity, we might try something like that shown in your luxury kitchen manifesto titled “crisp architects.” A nice lofty cupboard-matching solution.
May 28, 2017 @ 3:58 am
Does having a real vented hood really make that much of a difference for air quality/cleaning the rest of the house? We certainly fry vegetables and meat somewhat regularly. Obviously, this would be nice if we had lots of money to play with, but we don’t, so we have to carefully prioritize. Thanks for any thoughts!
June 4, 2017 @ 1:20 pm
Thanks for this article and putting my mind at ease :)! I own a condo and I’m knocking down a wall to open up the kitchen to the living room. Unfortunately, my stove is on the side that’s getting knocked down. I had to go without one because of the layout and my association won’t let me put a vent throught the roof to vent outside. Great article! People look at me like I’m crazy as well when I tell them this haha! I checked with the city and the building codes as well, no issue, hoods are optional here.
June 28, 2017 @ 12:05 am
Well, by now I imagine you already have an entire kitchen but just for chuckles I will remind you that you don’t need an oven hood (especially is you choose electric) for the same reason you chose the magnificent toilet in the hall bath. You clean it your self. I find people you have hoods sometimes DO clean them but it is actually just one more big honking chore. Who needs that. And the ones that don’t are exactly the reason I don’t want one (hood) either.
June 28, 2017 @ 12:07 am
You’ve probably already made this decision but several years ago, we knocked out a wall that divided our kitchen from our living room which had a low cut-out in it (circa 1990’s) so that while I was cooking dinner, I could hunch over and watch my family enjoying themselves in front of a movie. The ugly, pointless wall had to go! And with it, out went the vent system that I never used anyway. I can tell you that I have never regretted it. I don’t set off the smoke alarm any more than I used to and my furniture certainly doesn’t smell. If my house fills with an aroma while I cook, the aroma is always pleasant because why would I be cooking something that wasn’t pleasant? There is only one exception to this which was when my husband made liver and onions and the smell lingered for several hours. If you like that smell, it would be fine. I hated it and now my husband has to make it in a skillet on our outdoor grill. Problem solved!
I read somewhere that if we skipped the vent, we would have grease stains all over our ceiling but this hasn’t happened at all. Not a drop. I should disclose that we have vaulted ceilings in the kitchen so a lower ceiling could potentially be different but I seriously doubt it. I do think that certain types of vents actually look kind of nice, like the hammered copper variety for example. But those are prohibitively expensive for regular folks and even if they were cheap, some kitchen design styles just wouldn’t tolerate a bulky vent no matter what.
So…stick to your gut and do your thing. Better to add something later if you end up needing it than getting it for no reason at all.