Do I really need a range hood?
SEE OUR FINISHED KITCHEN HERE!
I need to tell you my deepest darkest kitchen secret:
I do not like a range hood.
I hate them all.
I particularly detest the massive monument-to-wasted-space that has become a bizarre status symbol; like mounting a Range Rover over your stove.
Sure, you can choose one that is low-profile, but that would be in direct opposition to the opportunity to install an oversized jet-engine, directly in the place your face goes while standing at the stove.
Although obviously, (like any sensible person) I would trade a good portion of my soul for this kitchen.
Those sentences above areĀ the beginning of a post I started months agoā¦ Back when I thought I could withstand the scorn of the internet if I chose to not waste money and space onĀ an appliance that I will never use.
However.
I have since begun to fear the wrath of the Appropriate-Cooking-Evaluators: a band of angry militants who patrol the internet for violations which offend them personally; and who believe that forgoing a direct-vented range hood is akin to voluntarily injecting yourself with Ebola virusā unbelievably stupid.
Like this kitchen below– so terrible! Let’s take a moment to reflect on how badly we feel for these people that their kitchen is so subpar!
Iām practically BLIND FROM HOW HORRIBLE THIS IS.
So whyĀ would I considerĀ an about-face from hood-denier to herd-animal; when my preferred response to scorn and judgment is always to dig in my heels and run forward towards the executioner?
I guess the internet has broken me.
Specifically, a particular element to the internet that pervades every single topic that people can possibly form an opinion about: the mindset that there is ONLY ONE GOOD ACCEPTABLE WAY to do something that has zero impact on anyone else’s life.
The ONLY ONE GOOD ACCEPTABLE WAY people believe ONE THING, and then that is ALL THEY BELIEVE and they make it their lifeās work to make sure anyone not doing THE WAY is immediately disqualified from life, clapped in irons, and dragged to the town square to be flogged for idiocy.
Which, upon reflection, is the source of all human conflict through history: your own opinions are fine, but other peopleās are moronic and intolerable and deserving of the flaming cannonballs with chains.
Unless they happen to agree with you, in which case they are well-informed.
The ONLY ONE GOOD ACCEPTABLE WAY peopleās initial input is well-meaning! (If bordering on didactic and unhinged.)
But if you fail to PROPERLY HEED THEIR WARNING AND APPRECIATE THEIR WISDOMā¦they become enraged.
WHY! Why would someone WHO HAS BEEN WARNED!! Fail to instal a direct-vent range hood???
Look at THESE IDIOTS! Living without a range hood!
Imbeciles!
Ā
I am thinking specifically of a kitchen-chatboard thread, where a woman explained that it was IMPOSSIBLE to direct-vent her range hood. And she wondered if (seeing as how she couldnāt direct vent,) could she just skip the questionably-effective-substitute-which-is-essentially-just-a-fan and install a light fixture she had fallen in love with.
It was the light fixture of her dreams! A design element that would bring her peace and joy and goodwill towards all! A lamp that would improve her very existence on earth and she could die happy because SHE HAD THE BEST LAMP.
The responses variedā¦ but there were an ALARMING number of respondents who were EXTREMELY BOTHERED by the fact that this woman was not gutting her kitchen to the studs and reconfiguring everything towards the goal of direct-venting the range hoodā¦ and she should probably just go out and rent a bulldozer THAT VERY NIGHT and knock it all down to the ground while flagellating herself for having considered any other option.
Ā
They basically went on to suggest that she was a filthy, squalor-dwelling subhuman moron.
And as I read on and on and onā¦ I have to tell you that I was AMAZED at the PASSION total strangers were bringing to disparaging this woman and her lamp… I mean, who has time for lengthy screeds decrying other people’s DESIGN CHOICES?
And then I was EVEN MORE AMAZED at how these people do not realize that they look like flaming lunatics.
My FAVORITE response was from a woman who wrote:
This one time, we didnāt have a range hood, and we had to THROW AWAY ALL OF OUR BELONGINGS INCLUDING THE FURNITURE after one monthĀ BECAUSE THEY SMELLED SO FOUL AND HORRIBLEĀ from non-vented cooking odors.
I donāt know about youā¦ but that does NOT sell me on a ventā¦ it DOES, however, make me wonder WHAT THIS WOMAN IS MAKING FOR DINNER.
Anyway. All of this is to explain that I do not want a range hood.
But that I am thinking about it anyway.
Because of the internet.
And I am mad about it.
The way Iāve decided to deal with this irritating anxiety that MY kitchen in MY house designed to MY preferences might draw the ire of some random stranger on the internet is to turn it over to you.
Here’s what you need to know: our township construction code does not require one. I will not have an eight-burner stove outgassing 67 billion btu’s/therms/whatever other specs.
Ok! GO FOR IT!
This is your chance!
I WASH MY HANDS.
And if you fail to draw me out from the cave and convince me of the shadows on the wall, then you must return to your war room and inform the other ONLY ONE GOOD ACCEPTABLE WAY-ers that your method is flawed.
Please make a good argument! Definitely do not include information like this: you NEED a hood!
Because: SURPRISE! I do not!
I can prove that to you because we HAD a hood! It was direct-vented!
And I NEVER USED IT.
I never used it SO MUCH that I had Paul take it out.
Every single night I was likeā WHY IS THIS THING RIGHT IN MY FACE?
Until eventually I was like– Plague of nonsense, BE GONE!
p.s.ā save some outrage for the post where I explain how Iām thinking of not having a freezer.
xoxo,
VEB, squalor-dwelling subhuman moron, esq.
December 22, 2016 @ 10:01 pm
You do not need a hood. I read a thing a while ago that said most people do not use it properly in the first place, rendering it useless. Why buy a useless and expensive appliance? Sometimes, they’re pretty. But mostly, I’d rather have more cabinet space, or pretty French bistro shelves, or some gorgeous light fixture. I plan to die in my house, though, so there is no point designing for anyone else.
December 23, 2016 @ 12:33 am
Ha! I know that interwebz. They can be a little crazy sometimes. It’s easy to spend other people’s money as if you had endless funds yourself while generously heaping piles of…advice on other people you will never meet.
That being said, I cook many pounds of lamb. And fish. And sometimes burn things. That’s why I have a hood.
December 23, 2016 @ 3:06 pm
Confession: I don’t even know WTF a range hood does. Living in small town midwest, no house I’ve ever lived in has had one. The only houses that have them here are either newer builds, or the kitchens have been gutted and re-done and cabinet space was sacrificed for the hood.
December 24, 2016 @ 11:00 am
Sorry that I am late to this party… But I do have an opinion and, of course, must share (per interwebs commandments). Anywho, we bought a house with – gasp – no vent hood. The range is a JennAir and has the downdraft fan. I really like it because I hate food smells and it does an efficient job in getting those odors out of the house. I know the cost of that duct work can be pricey, but everything I like is more expensive (seriously, you could blindfold me and I would find the most expensive thing in a group of things).
I will still love you and read your blog even if you choose not to this option š¤
December 26, 2016 @ 5:29 am
BRAVO!!! LOVE IT!
I never used the event at my parents house growing up. I think it got turned on 3 times in the 20 years I live there… And that was one something burnt. When I bought my 100 year old antique home I didn’t even notice there was no vent until about 10 years later, when someone pointed it out to me. I answered… There’s a window. I love your design ideas Victoria! !!!! š you are fabulous!
December 26, 2016 @ 11:05 am
You don’t need one!! You don’t eat meat! We had this same reaction when we renovated our hood-free kitchen some time ago and continued to uhhh not have a hood. I think this works because we’re vegetarians so there’s no animal grease, and this is cooking 1-3 meals per day for 4-12 people (normally more like 4-6) for several decades.
We do have a small fan because sometimes things get burned.
December 26, 2016 @ 6:21 pm
I’ve never had a vent hood. I cook a lot of delicious food everyday. I’ve always lived in homes built before 1920 and so never felt the need to destroy them to install an ugly hood. My home is very clean save for a little cat hair here and there.
December 27, 2016 @ 3:33 pm
We renovated a four square farmhouse near Pittsburgh about 14 years ago and I never even thought about a hood for our gas stove top when we installed the kitchen island! I was probably too young to even think about it, but am so glad we skipped it! We gutted and re-framed the entire main floor (the kitchen was a 1920s addition) so it is all open concept. I can cook while my children do homework at the island and I never have to duck to see anyone while I’m cooking! Yes, the house occasionally has lingering smells of what we cooked, but better that than the stench of my 5 children, 4 dogs and farm-life! The light fixture does get a little greasy but nothing that dawn dish washing liquid can’t clean. I’ve learned to use a splatter guard when I fry or sautĆ©e and nothing seems worse for the wear. Follow your heart! You are the only one that has to live with the results.
December 27, 2016 @ 4:42 pm
I had a Jenn air down draft in my island cook top. When I put a new kitchen into the space 3 years ago I skipped the vent. I don’t fry food, and just crack a window when cooking seafood. So glad I didn’t waste the money and ruin the look of my Victorian new old kitchen. The only time I miss it is when I can and I have 3 huge pots of water bubbling away all day. I wouldn’t give it to the hood tyrants.
December 28, 2016 @ 2:48 pm
I cook CONSTANTLY. All manner of fish and smelly things and I only use my range hood if I accidentally burn something and the house is filling with smoke, but opening the doors and windows does a better job of clearing it out so I sometimes even skip that. I live in a tiny 900 sq ft apartment and it only smells like food when I’m cooking. Go rangeless! The world will not end and your house will not smell.
December 28, 2016 @ 5:23 pm
OMG, I am having the same crap thrown at me…you MUST have a vent hood! But, if I don’t eat meat, only fish, and I cook very “cleanly”-no spatters, no grease, etc., then why do I need to spend all this money on a vent hood? I have a large window less than 2 feet from my stove top…I keep it open most of the time when home-does this not suffice for circulating the air? And, quite honestly, one small piece of salmon once a week hardly justifies any odor-mostly just veggies and noodles being prepared and they smell quite nice. I would rather have open shelving with plants, great pottery bowls, cups, plates, and other visually stimulating wares than a vent hood that I will probably never turn on…I realize for resale that most will want the big range hood over the big oven with pretty red knobs, but if you are in your home for a long time, why not make it they way YOU want it?
January 1, 2017 @ 2:54 pm
We live in a rent house with a vent hood installed by midgets. My husband and I are on the taller end of the scale. I cannot tell you the number of times I have walloped my head against that damnable piece of overhead rubbish. The only time it comes in handy is to rest my forehead against it when I’m stirring, and to suck away all the moisture when I’m boiling marmalade for 4 hours. Generally I don’t like them because of the noise and the fact that they’re in the way. Stand strong.
January 3, 2017 @ 12:19 am
I once lived in a little efficiency apartment and the “direct vent” was a tiny enameled fan mounted into the wall and to turn it on you opened the little covering door. It was so sweet. I like a vent hood (not a fan) but only if it is vented outside because it does seem to cut down on the amount of smoke hanging about when browning meat. And helps the fire alarm settle down faster when I set things smoking. I’m sure whatever you choose will be perfect and entertaining.
January 3, 2017 @ 3:21 pm
I never thought I’d be pro-range hood, but I’ve changed my tune for 2 reasons:
1) When we got a new, not fancy, Samsung gas range our smoke detector started going off about half the time when I cooked without the fan on. Wasn’t an issue with the Ikea range we had before. The fan doesn’t always prevent the smoke detector, but it certainly helps.
2) The bigger reason I’ve come to love it is the number of neighbors who comment on how good it smells to walk by the house around dinner time or a weekend breakfast. And the dinner guests who come in raving about how everything smells just from walking up to our house. And the near strangers who know me as someone who cooks well even though they’ve never eaten at my house (and honestly I’m not a star cook, I just start at lot of dinners by sauteing onions and garlic.)
Of course one day I’ll renovate my kitchen so that my wallpaper doesn’t match the kitchen in the movie Matilda, and when I do that I’ll upgrade to a vent with the fan mounted on the exterior of the house so I don’t have to shout over the fan when my kids want help spelling things on their homework.
January 3, 2017 @ 7:58 pm
I can only imagine what people would say if they knew I had a COUCH in my kitchen. (I’ll send a pic if you want š )Not ten steps away from the stove mind you. Non-vented BTW! POS broke approximately ten minutes after it was installed.
January 4, 2017 @ 3:31 pm
Hello, Love your blog. I too am a lover of all things old. I completely appreciate your energy for style, re-use, uniqueness and beauty in a kitchen. I would recommend installing a fan for function but finding a way to disguise it in something old and beautiful. I grew up in an old home country kitchen without an exhaust fan, in the months where the weather was nice and the windows were open, not a big deal. However, in the cold winters when we cooked the smells permeated textiles. So for example, when I would find my self in a new venue but very much smelling like roast beef…. Overall I find having a good fan leaves my kitchen and the rest of my home smelling fresher and the kitchen less greasy. Find a vintage piece you love and have a fan mounted inside of it would be my recommendation.
January 6, 2017 @ 11:29 am
There just mite be a vent hiding above stove in first picture SWEETIES! Because my kitchen has high ceilings the vent is covered t match my mindful grey cabinets… Much rather look @ backsplash hung w antique cutting boards than a low hanging vent OR a microwave door! But THE SOUND OF THAT VENT IS A 747 IN FULL SPEED AHEAD DEAFENING TAKE-OFF
PIERCING BLAST!!!! Why did we not have turned on when at kitchen store??? Therefore the tank is rarely used???!!!!# love this blog
January 6, 2017 @ 5:12 pm
One factor that has not yet been addressed is the opinion of your handsome fella. Only if this is important to Paul should you install. If it is important to Paul, consider a thru wall pull chain powered flywheel that has the charm of the house’s Victorian era, will not require placement in conflict with your tall ness, or any other beautiful element of this ongoing mystery of beauty. That will address the delightful obtuse persistence of his pragmatic balance to your love of fanciness. I thought of you today and thought! Oh My, I haven’t been there in ages since we lost Elvis (love the new kitten pumpkin fluffalorium fostering) and I bet I get to see the kitchen progress!!! Not yet, patience for beauty, eh? Whatever you decide, decide already and finish! We love the previews!!!
January 7, 2017 @ 7:33 am
Oh VEB you never disappoint! I love your goal of monopolizing the GFTs. This house is already you being you doing what you love. Don’t change now for Pete’s sake!
Do I have a direct vent hood? Yeppers. I live in Houston. Not going to open a window between March and November because it’s hell + rainforest out there. AND I’m southern (We fry. I leave it at that.) AND I want to be able to make fajitas where I throw them on the skillet and get a big cloud of steam!
AND IT WAS HERE WHEN WE BOUGHT THE HOUSE!!!!
You’re the best Barnes.
January 8, 2017 @ 10:43 am
the only thing above my viking range is an oil painting of yosemite and a chandelier.