Do I really need a range hood?
SEE OUR FINISHED KITCHEN HERE!
I need to tell you my deepest darkest kitchen secret:
I do not like a range hood.
I hate them all.
I particularly detest the massive monument-to-wasted-space that has become a bizarre status symbol; like mounting a Range Rover over your stove.
Sure, you can choose one that is low-profile, but that would be in direct opposition to the opportunity to install an oversized jet-engine, directly in the place your face goes while standing at the stove.
Although obviously, (like any sensible person) I would trade a good portion of my soul for this kitchen.
Those sentences above areĀ the beginning of a post I started months agoā¦ Back when I thought I could withstand the scorn of the internet if I chose to not waste money and space onĀ an appliance that I will never use.
However.
I have since begun to fear the wrath of the Appropriate-Cooking-Evaluators: a band of angry militants who patrol the internet for violations which offend them personally; and who believe that forgoing a direct-vented range hood is akin to voluntarily injecting yourself with Ebola virusā unbelievably stupid.
Like this kitchen below– so terrible! Let’s take a moment to reflect on how badly we feel for these people that their kitchen is so subpar!
Iām practically BLIND FROM HOW HORRIBLE THIS IS.
So whyĀ would I considerĀ an about-face from hood-denier to herd-animal; when my preferred response to scorn and judgment is always to dig in my heels and run forward towards the executioner?
I guess the internet has broken me.
Specifically, a particular element to the internet that pervades every single topic that people can possibly form an opinion about: the mindset that there is ONLY ONE GOOD ACCEPTABLE WAY to do something that has zero impact on anyone else’s life.
The ONLY ONE GOOD ACCEPTABLE WAY people believe ONE THING, and then that is ALL THEY BELIEVE and they make it their lifeās work to make sure anyone not doing THE WAY is immediately disqualified from life, clapped in irons, and dragged to the town square to be flogged for idiocy.
Which, upon reflection, is the source of all human conflict through history: your own opinions are fine, but other peopleās are moronic and intolerable and deserving of the flaming cannonballs with chains.
Unless they happen to agree with you, in which case they are well-informed.
The ONLY ONE GOOD ACCEPTABLE WAY peopleās initial input is well-meaning! (If bordering on didactic and unhinged.)
But if you fail to PROPERLY HEED THEIR WARNING AND APPRECIATE THEIR WISDOMā¦they become enraged.
WHY! Why would someone WHO HAS BEEN WARNED!! Fail to instal a direct-vent range hood???
Look at THESE IDIOTS! Living without a range hood!
Imbeciles!
Ā
I am thinking specifically of a kitchen-chatboard thread, where a woman explained that it was IMPOSSIBLE to direct-vent her range hood. And she wondered if (seeing as how she couldnāt direct vent,) could she just skip the questionably-effective-substitute-which-is-essentially-just-a-fan and install a light fixture she had fallen in love with.
It was the light fixture of her dreams! A design element that would bring her peace and joy and goodwill towards all! A lamp that would improve her very existence on earth and she could die happy because SHE HAD THE BEST LAMP.
The responses variedā¦ but there were an ALARMING number of respondents who were EXTREMELY BOTHERED by the fact that this woman was not gutting her kitchen to the studs and reconfiguring everything towards the goal of direct-venting the range hoodā¦ and she should probably just go out and rent a bulldozer THAT VERY NIGHT and knock it all down to the ground while flagellating herself for having considered any other option.
Ā
They basically went on to suggest that she was a filthy, squalor-dwelling subhuman moron.
And as I read on and on and onā¦ I have to tell you that I was AMAZED at the PASSION total strangers were bringing to disparaging this woman and her lamp… I mean, who has time for lengthy screeds decrying other people’s DESIGN CHOICES?
And then I was EVEN MORE AMAZED at how these people do not realize that they look like flaming lunatics.
My FAVORITE response was from a woman who wrote:
This one time, we didnāt have a range hood, and we had to THROW AWAY ALL OF OUR BELONGINGS INCLUDING THE FURNITURE after one monthĀ BECAUSE THEY SMELLED SO FOUL AND HORRIBLEĀ from non-vented cooking odors.
I donāt know about youā¦ but that does NOT sell me on a ventā¦ it DOES, however, make me wonder WHAT THIS WOMAN IS MAKING FOR DINNER.
Anyway. All of this is to explain that I do not want a range hood.
But that I am thinking about it anyway.
Because of the internet.
And I am mad about it.
The way Iāve decided to deal with this irritating anxiety that MY kitchen in MY house designed to MY preferences might draw the ire of some random stranger on the internet is to turn it over to you.
Here’s what you need to know: our township construction code does not require one. I will not have an eight-burner stove outgassing 67 billion btu’s/therms/whatever other specs.
Ok! GO FOR IT!
This is your chance!
I WASH MY HANDS.
And if you fail to draw me out from the cave and convince me of the shadows on the wall, then you must return to your war room and inform the other ONLY ONE GOOD ACCEPTABLE WAY-ers that your method is flawed.
Please make a good argument! Definitely do not include information like this: you NEED a hood!
Because: SURPRISE! I do not!
I can prove that to you because we HAD a hood! It was direct-vented!
And I NEVER USED IT.
I never used it SO MUCH that I had Paul take it out.
Every single night I was likeā WHY IS THIS THING RIGHT IN MY FACE?
Until eventually I was like– Plague of nonsense, BE GONE!
p.s.ā save some outrage for the post where I explain how Iām thinking of not having a freezer.
xoxo,
VEB, squalor-dwelling subhuman moron, esq.
December 15, 2016 @ 8:43 pm
If you don’t have a freezer how can you freeze kale for the masses?
I like the photos you picked. I grew up without one and the walls did get greasy/sticky and need to be washed, but now so does my hood.
December 15, 2016 @ 8:55 pm
Do what makes you happy. As someone else said, it doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks. I do wonder how the stovetops/cookers in the photos are lit, though. I have stood in my own shadow trying to cook before and it didn’t add to my cooking experience. š
December 15, 2016 @ 10:38 pm
You don’t need no stinkin’ hood. You don’t cook animal; ergo, there is no burnt flesh smell. Who minds the smell of pancake in the morning, or afternoon, or . . . Absolutely , positively, don’t give even one hoot and a holler’ what the internet trolls have to say about your choice to have or have not . . these same people wouldn’t have one tiny ounce of creativity you have used on creating your magnificent kitchen. Stay strong, Elizabeth!!!
December 15, 2016 @ 11:57 pm
I can’t tell you how HAPPY I was to see this blog! My ultra tiny kitchen (10×8) can only be changed to be more
user friendly if I remove the vent and the useless tiny cabinets that hide the vent pipe, then slide the stove over. Thanks for giving me the push to revisit the idea.
December 16, 2016 @ 12:55 am
History lesson,
Fume hoods weren’t always in existence. If you have a window in the kitchen you can open it to “air” out the kitchen. Also a perfect way to dump the non kissed cooks latest mistake… if you know what i mean?! If you don’t want the vent then don’t do it. Your kitchen, your needs and rules. Enough said š
~ Amanda Out
December 16, 2016 @ 2:03 am
Do not, I say DO NOT put in a vent. Or a vented cooktop. If YOU DON’T WANT ONE!
That is all. Be happy! Go forth and cook in peace
December 16, 2016 @ 2:45 am
Well…I have a fan and range hood over my stove for light and ventilation. I need them because I have an actual restaurant range with 6 burners that burn 25,000 btus each. My brother is my contractor and he built the hood and installed the fan so that they aren’t in my face, are not obtrusive and suit the design of my kitchen. There is no way I could control the grease and dust (in drought-ridden SoCal) in my kitchen without the fan and hood. Some kind of ventilation is required by law here, so we had to include them. I think most of the pics you included probably have one of those indirect fans that rise up and vent to the outside when you need it. But follow your bliss…whatever you and Paul (maybe he could design a hood to your liking?) do will be gorgeous and just right, as always.
December 16, 2016 @ 10:44 am
1 – you don’t use one
2 – you don’t want one
3 – you don’t like them
I’m going to have to vote no. It’s your kitchen, you have to live with it so do what works best for you.
p/s we never had a hood growing up and our house was not smelly or greasy. You’ll be fine.
December 16, 2016 @ 1:22 pm
I have an island cook top with no range hood, and I really wish I had one. First because I seem to have bought a house with the world’s most sensitive kitchen smoke detector in lieu of a range hood. Roasting a tasty, properly spatchcocked, fowl at the temperature recommended for crispy skin is sure to set off the smoke alarm every.time. Cleaning the oven requires careful planning and lot of open doors and windows, just in case.
Second, no range hood means I’m not allowed to cook onions in the house because they make the towels smell and my version of Paul hates that.
Installing a range hood in our house would not be simple or affordable (vaulted ceilings, long run to the exterior) so I cook chickens in the fall when open doors (Phoenix) are bearable and cook onions outside on the grill when they are absolutely necessary. Sigh.
December 16, 2016 @ 2:05 pm
How about if you just do what you want? Don’t install a hood. It’s your house. You are the one who will see it every day. Should the need arise in the future, I’m certain that you and Paul can modify the design and install a hood. Look what you two have done this far on your own? Amazing. signed an architect in Houston, Texas who also does not have a hood over her cook top.
PS. If you ever decide to install a hood, make sure you get a whisper quiet one with a fan booster to actually take the smoke/grease/aroma/whatever out of the house.
December 16, 2016 @ 4:36 pm
I love a good rebellion! I happen to feel the same way about tile in the kitchen…but brick or stone…game-changer!
December 16, 2016 @ 7:28 pm
First of all, it’s your house, so do whatever you want! It’s none of our business! That being said, I lived without a range hood for years!, before we installed one, in order to sell the house. (Shhhh, secret, only the light worked, it was vented nowhere). But please get yourself the light of your dreams, to hang overhead. Good lighting, you never regret and it looks fabulous too. š
December 16, 2016 @ 10:55 pm
Our last house had a tiny kitchen and I made the choice to not put in a microwave when we remodeled it. It dawned on me that we only used it for popcorn and defrosting chicken. It was also taking taking up valuable space. Folks were scandalized. How would I prepare meals?! Women wept in the street. Men looked down their noses. It was so uncivilized! That was 12 years ago and I’ve never missed it. So I say, “To hell with the range hood!” You won’t regret it!
December 17, 2016 @ 10:12 am
Most consumer grade range hoods do nothing. Don’t bother with one. No freezer means no ice, no ice cream, no lots of yummy things……..
December 17, 2016 @ 4:10 pm
Huh. Interesting discussion.
My 2 cents?
I think range hoods are a good idea that got out of control, and now maybe some people hate all range hoods on principal because of those ridiculous industrial ones?
Once upon a time, a range hood was a modest thing, an unremarkable object the same color as the stove, that usually had cabinets above it. Nobody gave them much thought, except to be glad they were there when they cooked something smokey or greasy or burned something and set the smoke alarm off.
But then, at some point, designers decided that range hoods should look like giant industrial smokestacks that took up the entire space above the stove, and those of us who don’t want our cooking areas to look like blast furnaces were like “what the heck?”
When we remodeled our kitchen (in a Victorian house, for what that’s worth), we did put in a range hood. It’s low-profile, situated so that my tall husband doesn’t bump his head, and only reduces storage space by maybe one shelf’s worth in the cabinet above it. I like it, because I sometimes cook smokey and greasy things and have been known to burn things and set off fire alarms, and my trusty vented range hood collects smoke and smells and reduces the chance that I will set off the fire alarm. It also has a handy light. But I don’t notice it or think about it much – I mean, it’s small! It’s not a giant industrial steel chimney-thing dominating the kitchen – a decorating trend which I also hate, and which I do not understand, much less think belongs in a Victorian-inspired kitchen (I mean, unless you’re going for the Dickensean “Hard Times” retro aesthetic).
Are you sure you really hate all range hoods (including those slim low-profile ones with room for cabinets or other storage space above them), or is it possible you’re just soured on the entire idea of range hoods because of those giant blast-furnace hoods the designers have been showing us? If you really, truly hate all range hoods, then don’t get one….but are you positive the problem is “all range hoods” and not the “steel chimney over the stove” hood trend? Because hoods really are handy, if not 100% necessary.
December 17, 2016 @ 9:45 pm
Where does all the grease go when you use a vent hood–it goes up and that is when it gets all over cabinets etc. when the fan is running. I think you get less of that when you don’t use the vent. Yes, there is spatter when cooking with oil but it can be wiped away during cleanup. You get a fine mist of oil in the air with the vent & it is hard to see until it gets built up. Very hard to clean then. I hate garbage disposals too.
December 17, 2016 @ 11:04 pm
I think all those kitchen pictures were lovely-the mirror above the range! *Love* put an aha under it and I die!
The literal only time I can see wanting a hood (if you’re opposed to it generally) is when cooking items that tend to have a low smoke point/deep frying in the winter. When you can’t just open the windows. But how often are you going to deep fry so your kitchen smells like oil? I say it’s your kitchen , do what you want! It’ll be fabulous no matter what š
PS: just to point out a hood style-have you seen the ones that are totally camouflaged with a flat (90Ā° to the floor) matching cabinet panel? Just a thought!
December 17, 2016 @ 11:11 pm
We don’t have one because it’s not possible to have it properly vented. I think if you’re they type of person who regularly (i.e. at least a few times a year) cleans and scrubs everything including walls, you’re fine. i am not that kind of person, and now my kitchen walls above the stove are sticky and horrid with that particular kind of sticky film from cooking that’s basically impossible to remove, and I am seriously kind of wishing for that bulldozer.
December 18, 2016 @ 12:26 am
No you do not need a range hood.
This is based on my vast resources of anecdotal evidence (aka internet science). I am 40-mumble years old and have never had a range hood in any home.
Our furniture smells just fine. In fact my home smells of lemon fresh, clean cotton, and sometimes perhaps soccer cleats. I do not believe that is the fault of the stove, however.
December 18, 2016 @ 12:28 am
We have a vent, nay, a fan over our peninsula range. Firstly, the previous owners disconnected it to use the electrical wiring for a light installed over the range. That is my favorite thing about the kitchen, btw. Not because it’s pretty. Because I can actually see the color of what I’m cooking. Secondly, in doing some cleaning, I found the fan vents directly into the drop ceiling in the kitchen (probably installed in the early 90’s when it seems the rest of the kitchen was redone) and isn’t connected to the exterior at all. I wonder what an inspector would say about that. We cook every night and 3 times a day on the weekends — pan fried stuff, fish, bacon, curry, and occasionally something that gets a little too charred. Like others, we smack the fire alarm and open doors. Did I mention my kitchen is in the middle of the house and has no windows? The original over-the-sink window and adjacent sliding glass door were covered up by a rear addition, so the doors we open are in other rooms. Sometimes, when we cook food that is especially garlicky and I wake up starkly in the middle of the night wondering if someone just walked by my bed carrying a sizzling fajita plate, do I wish I had an actual vent. Yes. Have I thought about throwing away my couch because of food smells. Not once. The smell dissipates in less than 24 hours and we live to see another day.